I didn't believe in Hubris

Amethyst Alkali 20 District 1 Victor of the 74th Hunger Games

[amethyst-alkali]

He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left

The room was cold. The air was still, and each breath was audible. There were only six people in the courtroom; the judge, sitting on his great carved throne, the counsel, each picking at some small imperfection on their body, and her. She was definitely alone in this bench-lined hell. Perhaps this was her punishment. Her penance. To sit among the uninterested few, awaiting her imminent judgment. The letter had come as a surprise, to be sure. She knew a trial was coming, but to have it on the day of the Reaping was not something she had suspected. In fact, she had been dreading making an appearance on that platform in front of the highly trained students of the District One Academy. But, miraculously, she was here. There was no jury, which she took to mean that one was not necessary. She had all but confessed in the final minutes of her Games, so why waste people’s time? They knew she was guilty; they might as well have locked her up the minute they put the crown on her head. But for some reason, someone had insisted on this charade. No one wanted to be in this room. Her lawyer had not presented any evidence to her defense, and the judge seemed to be reading under his large wooden desk. But even more suspicious, the prosecutor had left five minutes into the trial. He had said something about her Games in a bored tone, and then left. This was barely a trial. Amy heard a buzz coming from the bench at the front of the room. The judge pulled his interface from inside his robes. Green and purple lights flickered on the small pane of glass, and he nodded somberly and stood. Her lawyer nodded to her, signalling her to stand as well. “Well, that’s it, then. For official reasons, I need to state this aloud. So, in the case of District One vs Amethyst Alkali for the murder of Jade Alkali, the people finds the defendant… ‘Not Guilty.’” Amethyst’s eyes widened. She coughed and spluttered everywhere, her hands shaking. She looked to her lawyer for answers, but he was already halfway out of the courtroom. The judge was moving around the awkward curve in the bench to get into his chambers in the back. Amethyst stood, dumbfounded, in the middle of an empty room. Tears streamed down her face as the silence reverberated around her. “No..I..” “Ms. Alkali, I’m sure you have questions.” She whipped around to the grand oak doors that marked the official entrance to the courtroom. President Snow stood framed in the main aisle, a simpering smile splitting his visage. “Amethyst, you were a god among insects in that Arena. I will not have such talents wasted in a prison cell. Instead, you will work for me. I’m sure you have thought about it; I recognized your potential when you were young, and now the time has come.” He placed a rose in her shaking hands. “I am afraid you missed the Reaping. You’ll need to hurry back to the Capitol to meet the Tributes; I’m sure they will be true contenders in the Games.” He smiled, his sickly sweet smell permeating the air around her. “We will discuss the terms of your...innocence...when you get back.”

[amethyst-alkali]

Wine a mocker, strong drink raging| Amethyst and Valor

[valor-sinclair-blog]

  The paintings had all been dull. With a cubist rebirth sweeping the Capitol, artists couldn’t help but try to stand out.  Their voices screamed of desperation, of attempted desire, but their songs were so empty it hurt. What had they been shooting for? Coloratura? If anything, they’d managed a shrill tenor, castrated from the brutality they’d seen on their screens. The Capitol knew much about geometry, but was lacking in the department of viewpoints. Its lens was too singular to see anything at all. Darting out of the gallery, Valor felt a strange feeling wash over her. She couldn’t quite put a name to it, but it was heavy, immeasurably so. The last thing she wanted was to do was go home, so she wandered until she had reached a hotel. Letting her gaze wash over the lobby, the woman was met with a feeling of comfort. She found contentment in the viewing of vignettes, always had, always would. It was considered an art form to her. Noticing a figure capsized on the stairs, Valor moved closer, wondering what to make of the sight. “Amethyst?” She inquired, voice tilting in surprise. The victor was a member of her district, and a hot topic in the news. Though risky to be seen with her, Valor was too curious to walk away, so stayed, taking a seat next to the girl. “What are you doing here?” She asked, concern in her voice. “And alone of all things?”

[amethyst-alkali]

Amethyst?

She tilted her head upward, swallowing back a mouthful of vomit as the room spun about her. The face swimming in front of her seemed vaguely familiar, resounding in the area of her mind that held memories of District One.

"Val-hic-or?"

Valor Sinclair was concerned for her; a foolish notion, a former Victor asking after her health...Amethyst Alkali was a god of the Arena. Valor was nothing compared to her.

She snorted to herself. "Look, everyone!" She gestured to the empty stairwell. "It's my replacement. No one wants the terrifying Amethyst to Mentor the District One tributes anymore. Look at who has taken my place."

She clumsily scrabbled for the bottle, desperate for another swig. "Why they don't want a murderer to coach murderers I will never understand."

[amethyst-alkali]

Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart | Amethyst and Jac

[amethyst-alkali]

jacaranda-fitzroy:

Jac had done a good job. A wealthy businessman from District Four was in town for the festivities preceding the Games, and since Jac’s father was busy with other meetings, he had sent Jac to confer with the man. He was interested in opening a Training Facility in his District, and the Fitzroys were the go-to family for that kind of funding. Jac was optimistic about the possibilities, but, like a good businessman, had made no promises.

Jac exited the hotel room where the man was staying and headed for the stairs. To his surprise, he found the stairs occupied by a young boy with a liquor bottle. He hardly seemed old enough to have the bottle, but however his parents chose to raise him was not up to Jac. Jac’s eyes widened and he averted his gaze slightly, but he did need to get past the boy sprawled across the steps.

"Uh, pardon me," he coughed. “‘Scuze me, but could I just… scoot by?"

Scuze me, but could I just… scoot by?

Amy hiccuped as she glanced at the well dressed man attempting to slide by him. He was familiar; she recognized him from her days training back home, but in her drunken haze she could not place him.

She tried to flatten against the wall of the stairwell, hoping that the man would simply pass by her. The bottle shook in her hand as she attempted further movement, prompting her to drop it.

Crash!

The glass bottle shattered, spilling clear liquid all over the stairs and the man who was coming down the stairs.

“Oh nooooo, no no.”

She crawled down the steps to the pieces of vodka soaked glass, cutting her palms as she clumsily cleaned it up.

“Oh no. No. Amethyst Alkali does not clean up spilled drinks. You,” she pointed at the man, “you should. I am...I am the ruler of the Arena. I should not clean this.”

[amethyst-alkali]

Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart| Amethyst and (insert name of anyone who loves me here)

As we close in on the two year anniversary of the murder of Jade Alkali, District One is wondering if the case against Amethyst is moving forward at all. The debate over the Victor's guilt is a hot topic not only in the District, but in the Capitol as well. Alkali has been residing there since her Victory in the 74th Games, and from what we can gather, she had been rather reclusive.

Well, if you ask me the girl is a Victor. She deserves our praise and affection. Besides there is no real proof that she killed her sister.

Oh, Larrings, you are so naive! Of course she did, you saw the end of those Games. She all but confessed when she killed Laexus.

I don't know. The Games can bring out rather abrasive sides in people. She is a valiant winner. She deserves our re--

The projected news feed turned off, returning her wall to its naturally white state. Amethyst grabbed a new bottle of vodka as she rocketed through the door, leaving it swinging behind her. Yes, leaving it open was an open invitation for intruders, but she could not have cared less.

She stalked down the stairwell, uncapping the liquor and taking a swig. Before last year she had never tasted the stuff, but now it was a necessary part of her day. 

The newscasters' words reverberated in her head, and she slid down onto one of the stairs, letting the previous bottles take their toll on her. 

The trial was to begin soon, and her life to end. All she had wanted was the Victor's crown, and now she had it.

But what else?

[amethyst-alkali]

A Wicked Messenger Falls

Ms. Alkali,

As you may know, your trial was postponed to accommodate your duties as Mentor for these Games. However, as the 75th draws to a close, we must consider when to proceed. The trial, therefore, of the First District vs. Alkali on the charge of murder in the first degree, will begin in one week’s time. This should give you and your counsel enough time to review your case and present such to the jury. As a Mentor and member of District One, you have been granted access to an attorney if you do not have one.

Please report to the Capitol Courthouse promptly at 10 AM, unless the Games require otherwise.

This court date is subject to change as the Games progress, so as not to hurt your Tribute’s chances.

Best,

Gineria Paple

Capitol Courthouse

[capitolsprincess-deactivated201]

Introductions || Amethyst & Lynx

[capitolsprincess-deactivated201]

  ”Of course it’s a big deal. But not in the good way. People don’t train for it, they dread it. There’s not really any pride in going up those steps.”

The look of shock on the girls face made her laugh, lips curling into a grin. It was surprising, how naive the Career Districts were to the outlying District’s views on the Games. They were in their own little world, and she supposed they simply assumed it was done in the same fashion in the other Districts.

”How could there be honour? I mean, every year the kids get picked, everyone goes in with the mentality knowing that they won’t win. We can’t win. The Careers train their entree lives, and then there’s our kids. There’s no such thing as training, or ‘pride’. You go into that arena, and your mindset is that the Careers will most likely kill you.”

What was winning? She couldn’t think of something, a concrete idea, to sum up how it felt. She felt disgrace, for the fact she had blood on her hands. Pain because the nightmares never left, anger because she had been turned into a plaything of the Capitol’s. The list went on and on.

”It’s a pain in the ass. A real pain.” She shrugged, drumming her fingers against the railing. ”I have to wake up everyday, look at myself in the mirror and remind myself I’m a cold-hearted killer. And then I have to go to the Capitol and pretend it’s some sort of great achievement, and that I’m still some innocent woman who hasn’t killed five people.” 

[amethyst-alkali]

“That’s not...we were…” Amethyst stopped her stammering. She had never considered that the Games were anything less than the greatest thing in Panem. They were the highest honor anyone could achieve. But here, listening to Lynx, she was dumbfounded. Years of training and schooling had taught her that all the Districts loved the Games and revered the Tributes, but Lynx, someone actually from a lesser District had exposed the great lie.

The Games were murder.

Perhaps that’s why Amethyst had not been hanged yet; the Games exploited the death of children, and she had expedited that. She, as the Victor, was allowed to kill. She was given license in the name of the Games.

“But you...cold hearted is hardly accurate.” Her tone hardened. “You were acting in self-defense. You had to survive. Me...I killed to get into the Games at all.” She bowed her head, clenching her jaw as a familiar voice tugged at the back of her mind, calling her Amy and reminding her of what she had done.

“So,” she spoke in an effort to interrupt the voice, “so, we are the big bad wolves of the Games? The other Tributes come in dreading meeting us?” She remembered training with the slight outlying Tributes, thinking that they were insects to be exterminated. All of her fellow Tributes had been vermin to squash, nothing more. But to think that they had not been honored competition but instead were scared people who feared her...that was different. That was the act of a merciless tyrant, not a deserving god. Her stomach tied itself in tighter knots.

“Those kids...they are led to slaughter...not to a fight…”

[magnus-whishart-blog]

Having Fun/Don't Put Me Down ↴ Amethyst & Magnus

[magnus-whishart-blog]

  “No problem,” Magnus continued laughing.  Raising his bottle of beer up, he made an imaginary toast to her anyway.  “You know, I used to think you guys in One were privileged but now I’m thinking that it was more of deprived.  Back in Twelve you eat anything.  Even the fake stuff the Capitol sends us.” he sniffed as he pulled a large gulp from the bottle.

“And now I get to share the common wealth with another Victor.  I think we should make it tradition, really.  Because really, only weirdoes don’t like pop-tarts.” he jested, attempting to lighten the mood in any way he could.  “You’re not so bad, though.  With time, I’m pretty sure you’ll come around to liking them.”

Then there was a distinct glint in the girl’s eyes that caught his attention; an immediate anxiousness tensing up the muscles around his heart.  Story time didn’t go over so well with her—he could see that it’d take more than relating to her.  She needed more time.  She needed professional help; not the flimsy words of promise that he could offer. 

“Amethyst—”  Yes, that was her name.  It had to be; he wasn’t completely daft.  He hoped it was right anyway and that his memories weren’t playing cruel jokes again.  “Whatever you’re thinking you need to stop.  Only you can stop what she’s doing to you.  And I know that you don’t think things can get better but dammit, they can.” he fussed, firmly laying out his beliefs.  It was time for the tough love approach now.  “You’re not stupid.  You won the fucking Hunger Games.  You already know what you have to do in order for her to leave you alone, don’t you?”

[amethyst-alkali]

“I won the Hunger Games. Yeah. I survived.” Amethyst mumbled aimlessly, not really hearing herself. She should be happy that she was still around; she was the Victor. She had gotten what everyone wanted.

But in the Arena she hadn’t been terribly clever or a hard fighter. She had just...won. She wasn’t like other Victors that used brains or brawn to get through; it just happened. She had gone into the Arena knowing she was going to win, and she did. It was no consolation to her. The Hunger Games was just something she did.

“The Games...just kinda happened. I didn’t win by some stroke of brilliance. The minute I went in there I knew I was going to win. I knew from when I could understand. It was like...a rite of passage. I was never going to die in there. I was just going to win.” She paused then, her body beginning to shake again. “It was never the Games. It was….how I got into them. I was so obsessed with this feeling that I would win, I destroyed my sister. It’s not that the Arena damaged me; it’s that I already was before I went in.”

She put her head in her hands as he explained that she had to know what to do to get Jade to leave her alone.

“I thought finally telling someone would be the answer. ‘The first step is admitting you have a problem’ or whatever. But I still feel that when I go back to my apartment, or even back to One...she’ll be there.” She looked up at Magnus, silently begging him to help her.

“No. I don’t. I have no idea how to make this go away.”

[amethyst-alkali]

[amethyst-alkali]

Caesar Flickerman: Ladies and gentlemen, let us welcome to the stage Amethyst Alkali, Mentor from District One. Everyone give them a round of applause. How are you tonight?

Amethyst: Oh, Caesar, I’m all right. Very happy to see you again!

Caesar Flickerman: How are your Tributes feeling about the Games?  Do you feel that you have prepared them as much as possible for the arena?

Amethyst: Truth be told, I haven’t had to do a lot. They are District One, after all. I’d like to keep the Victor’s crown on our floor for another year.

Caesar Flickerman: With this being the Quarter Quell, do you think having Tributes of various ages has been any more challenging than usual?

Amethyst: Not more challenging, no. Very interesting to watch people I had seen in the Academy ahead of me training under my wing.

Caesar Flickerman: Now, outside of Training with your Tributes, how has your time in the Capitol been?  Any noteworthy events since arriving?

Amethyst: I haven’t really been anywhere other than the Training Center. I’m too busy making friends with my fellow Victors.

Caesar Flickerman: How are your relationships with the rest of the Mentors?  We always love Mentor drama as well as a Mentor romance!

Amethyst: Well, no romance for me, Caesar! But I have been welcomed with open arms, and for that I am very grateful.

Caesar Flickerman: Thank you (Mentor name here) and we wish you and your Tributes the best of luck!

[capitolsprincess-deactivated201]

Introductions || Amethyst & Lynx

[capitolsprincess-deactivated201]

”Yeah, Lux. God knows she’s probably been training since she didn’t get into the games, waiting for an opportunity to ‘take what’s rightfully hers’, or some shit like that. She’ll wipe the floor with these tributes. I don’t know why they don’t give her the fucking crown right now.”

It annoyed Lynx, more than she cared to admit, that her tributes had no chance. People they were going up against, were younger, stronger, faster. She had essentially wasted her time even coming out in the first place. And though she could care less if her two tributes died, it pissed her off that she wouldn’t be bringing home a Victor. 

She looked at Amethyst as she finally asked why Lynx was so calm, a question she had been waiting for the newest Victor to ask her. She supposed it wasn’t the normal reaction that Amethyst had grown used to. But Lynx had her reasons for reacting why she did, and she had no issue being honest with the girl.

”To be honest, I think it has a lot to do with where you were raised, and all. I mean, it’s not really an excuse for what you did but damn,” She whistled through her teeth, shaking her head.”Being a tribute in One is a huge deal, and all of the little kids in their training camps or whatever, are brainwashed to think that being a tribute is to make it in this world. If someone gets in your way.. You’ll do what you have to. So I guess the way I see it is that, if your sister was in the way, you had to eliminate her, because that’s what you were trained to do. Trained to kill. And, you did.” 

She frowned as the girl went on about how it was strange for Lynx to accept it, and she shrugged, as though it would help her explain.

”Well, I can accept it much easier because from what you said a minute ago, you’re remorseful for what you’ve done. It’d be a harder pill to swallow if you were proud about it.” 

[amethyst-alkali]

“It’s not...it’s not a big deal for the other Districts?” Amethyst was baffled. “We’re trained from the minute we can walk. It’s your life….the Games is the highest honor you can achieve aside from the actual Crown itself.”

She stared at Lynx in disbelief. “I knew there weren’t any Academies outside of Four...but I thought you all just trained on your own. It’s not even an honor to you?”

For the first time, Amethyst really thought about the Reaping in terms of an outlier. To her kin Careers, it was the dream; the ultimate status was Tribute. But to them….it was something completely different.

“So...if it’s not an honor or something you even want, what is it?”

A pit formed in her stomach. She knew. She knew but she needed to hear it out loud; she needed to hear someone tell her that the dreams she had been fed were equivalent to murder. She needed to hear how hated the Games were, how they robbed children of their lives.

Her skin tingled with fear as she awaited her answer. Confirmation of her fears would only condemn her further; she was on the side of the devils, the ones that perpetuated the death of hundreds. She had wanted to be one of the worshipped, one of those unholy gods.

But she needed to hear it.

[keegangates]

Mentor Bonding - Amethyst & Keegan

[keegangates]

  "You’re right, I probably should tell him.  But I have no plans on it any time soon, our interactions haven’t exactly been the best as of lately.  Maybe sometime when he’s sober…or maybe it would be best when he’s drunk…I’m too intoxicated right now to make a decision like that."

Keegan watched as Amethyst became more familiar with the alcohol.  Well, even if it wasn’t the best thing to get someone hooked onto, hopefully it helped even the slightest bit with the troubled girl. 

"Who know’s where the baby is."  Keegan shook her head, feeling the slightest bit of guilt in the back of her thoughts.  Keegan should have been taking care of her months old daughter, not drinking, but alcohol just seemed to be more appealing as of lately.  "There is an Avox who has been tending her.  Sometimes she shows up in the crate in my room, sometimes she’s in a bassinet somewhere else…and then an hour or two later she’s gone, gone to be fed or sleeping or something.  I haven’t really been paying much attention."  She raised the bottle to her lips and took another sip. Suddenly, she got the feeling that she had officially become the worst mother ever. 

"Yes, eventually, you’ll drink enough that you just pass out…just like that.  Then you wake up, usually not one hundred percent sure where you are…then you just start drinking again…makes a world of difference in the whole mental department, promise."

[amethyst-alkali]

“Mmm,” Amethyst nodded vaguely as Keegan talked about her baby. It wasn’t any of her business how she raised her own child, and frankly, it was barely a blip on her radar.

Though at the moment her radar was fuzzy.

Her lips felt thick, and she licked them, hoping to revive some of the feeling in them. Her bottle was more than half empty, as far as she could tell. The couch she was curled on seemed to double in height as she tried to focus on Keegan, who for some reason kept moving.

But she wasn’t moving…at least it didn’t sound like it.

“This is...thisizaride….” She murmured, not really sure whether Keegan could hear her. She could have sworn she had spoken perfect English but the words got tangled on the way out. “I mean this is w--whoa thisisweeeeird.” A perfectly eloquent part of her brain blushed in shame as the words involuntarily slurred.

“I get it...y’know? I can’t even remember th-the thing….”

[burton-copperfield]

All Powerful Eyes | Burton, Amethyst

The Training Centre had now had a new platform installed - opposite the chamber for the Gamemakers was now another room, with the same glass windows and plush chairs, in order to allow Mentors to watch their Tributes in training before the Games began in full. Burton had thought it a smart idea to try and get a heads up on the competition, and went up there to keep an eye on Harper and Ryan. However, he’d expected to be there alone - he certainly hadn’t anticipated sharing space with a quiet young woman, also watching the action.

He recognised her after taking another look - it was the newest Victor, Amethyst from District 1. The Games that had just taken place had been brutal, and the bloody monsoon that had washed out the whole house had taken out most of the Tributes as well. He remembered watching poor Phoenix spluttering as the blood reached the ceiling, the lad drowning in mere seconds. It hadn’t been the most successful of Games, looking back on them.

"Ah; there you are. It’s Amethyst, right? Good to see our newest Victor getting so invested in the Training Centre." Burton nodded as he approached her carefully, looking through the glass at the assembly of Tributes. It was peculiar, seeing Tributes of all shapes and sizes - the elderly fighting alongside tiny children, all preparing to be thrown headfirst into the Arena within days and expected to murder one another.

"… the name’s Burton Copperfield - in charge of mentoring District 6." He held out a hand for her. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance properly - I know we spoke very briefly indeed during your Victory Tour…"

[amethyst-alkali]

The Training Center was quickly becoming the favorite hiding place for Amethyst. She hated her suite; even when Keegan was there to distract her, the cold voice still haunted her room. Instead she took to sitting and watching the Tributes train. She desperately wanted to correct technique; no one in that room knew how to properly handle a damn thing.

Still, watching pisspoor weapons handling was better than listening to her intangible roommate.

She was used to her solitude being interrupted by Mentors watching their respective Tributes; they had a right to be there just as she did. She didn’t mind their company; she was sure many of them minded hers, but she wasn’t there to socialize. She was playacting Mentor, so she was watching the excuse for training happening below.

However there were some Mentors that had taken at least a vague interest in her; Lynx had extended a small talk olive branch, and she had met Magnus here of course. And now there was Burton Copperfield, the Mentor of District Six, offering in hand.

Amethyst stared at his extended palm, shocked that he was proposing physical contact so quickly. Magnus had tried to be comforting, and she had recoiled. But this was a welcoming gesture, an invitation for conversation.

And she could not for the life of her register what to do in return.

Her eyes flitted from his fingers to his face for several moments before she finally responded, gently taking his hand in her own.

“P--pleasure to finally speak with you, Burton. We hardly spoke before. How are--how are your Tributes doing?”

[capitolsprincess-deactivated201]

Introductions || Amethyst & Lynx

[capitolsprincess-deactivated201]

  ”Well, looks like Snow is looking out for you.” Lynx raised an eyebrow, but kept her eyes focused on the tributes.”I’m only here because I have people to protect, and people Snow wouldn’t hesitate picking off just to make sure I knew my place.” She shook her head, biting down on her lip at the thought of her brothers.”And Snow won’t touch them, not while I’m around.”

”Well, it’s one of the reasons people watch the Games. Not for the tributes, not for the bloodshed. It’s for us. We’re like a freak show, put on display for people to gawk at. We’re all murderers, all freaks. And the Capitol can’t get enough of us.”   

She smirked at her comment, letting out a bark of a laugh at her words. It was strange, how even though there were tributes twice her age, they all still looked like children. Too innocent to understand that they would have to kill to survive, too hopeful to understand someone would get them before they even had a chance of survival.

”It’s going to be a boring games, I’ll tell you that.” She sighed, looking at one woman and pointing her out.”My bets on District Two over there, she knows her way around a spear.”

The last question sent out another chuckle.

”Of course I get in trouble, who doesn’t? The difference between myself and the other ‘celebrities’, is that none of my little mishaps get out in the press.” 

[amethyst-alkali]

“Lux? Yeah. I remember the scandal when she didn’t get into her games. The Academies gossip with each other. Ridicule and murder….it’s the school motto.” Amethyst stood next to Lynx at the window. amazed at her calmness. Watching the Tributes wasn’t exciting; in fact it was a chore to have to keep track of their consistent failures. It was a wonder that they were still awake.

But given their topics of conversation, Amethyst was surprised Lynx was still here. She herself was much calmer admitting to her crimes now that she had told Magnus, but there was still an element of disconcertion.

Not many people could carry on a calm conversation with an admitted murderer.

Then again, every one of the Mentors had killed another human. They understood how haunting it was to survive after taking a life. However, they had the added caveat that they were actually in the Arena when they killed. They could tell themselves over and over that it was for survival; they were acting in self defense.

“How--how are you so calm about this?” The question tore itself out of her. “I didn’t just kill a Tribute to survive the Games. I killed someone to get into them in the first place. My...and she wasn’t even going to volunteer. She was engaged. She was going to let me do it and I didn’t even know….” Her palms sweated as she white-knuckled the rail, purposely watching Lux toss weapons into the unfortunate mannequins Amethyst had destroyed the year before.

“And you...you’re the second person I’ve told. Not that no one knows--the whole world knows--but that I have actually admitted to….and you’re fine! You’re standing there, talking small talk to me about these Games. And Magnus….he gave me food! I’m barely holding myself together telling you this--which, by the way, I have no idea why I’m doing at all--and you just….accept it?”

[keegangates]

Mentor Bonding - Amethyst & Keegan

[keegangates]

  "Keep drinking."  Keegan commanded as Amethyst nearly broke out into a coughing fit.  "I promise, the more you drink, the easier it is.  You’ll get used to it."  She could tell that her Victor was inexperienced drinking.  Keegan hated to let her bad habits run off on someone else, but she could tell that Amethyst was in need of it. 

Keegan let out a small sigh as the girl began talking.  Amethyst was right, there wasn’t a whole lot anyone could do, what she had done was irreversible.  “Well, you have to just try and move past it I guess.”  Her voice wavered slightly, not comfortable giving advice.  “The alcohol helps…when you do something you don’t want.  You start drinking and it makes all the pain go away…then you pass out…wake up in the morning…then it hurts again…so you start the whole thing again.  Drink.  Sleep.  Hurt.  It doesn’t make everything better, but it helps.” 

Taking a long sip from her own bottle, she stayed silent for a moment after the last question.  “Of course I want to tell him.  Who doesn’t want to end up with their baby’s father?  However, Snow has both of us under his watch, so as of right now, it’s not really possible.  And honestly, I really don’t think he would even give a fuck if I did tell him.  He’s not really the family type.”

[amethyst-alkali]

“You should at least tell him. If not for the sake of family, then to brace him for the press. Everything gets out eventually, and he’ll hate you for blindsiding him.” Amethyst unfurled on the sofa a bit, the heat of the alcohol coursing through her body. It tasted awful, and her fingers were starting to feel thick and clumsy, but she continued to take bracing sips. She had no interest in impressing Keegan; she had done that last year. But she had noticed the overwhelming dependence Mentors seemed to have on the drink.

And at this point she was willing to try anything,

She set the bottle down for a bit, looking at Keegan thoughtfully. “Where is Clara, anyway? I have only seen her once the whole time we’ve been here.” The question was more out of curiosity than concern; Amethyst had never been one for babies. She didn’t dislike them; she simply had no interest in them. They were just slightly more annoying people. However, she knew that simple biology dictated that a mother would want to be as near her newborn as possible. Yet, Keegan was hardly ever seen with Clara. “I mean...you nurse hangovers more than your kid.”

Amethyst punctuated her accusation with a hearty swig from her bottle. Keegan was right; it was becoming easier.

“So this will let me sleep, huh?”

[magnus-whishart-blog]

Having Fun/Don't Put Me Down ↴ Amethyst & Magnus

[magnus-whishart-blog]

  Magnus’ careful emerald eyes watched as she tapped at her temple, her ghosts of the past seemingly still on the haunt.  Fearing for the worst, he gave a caring sigh.  Letting his hand slip from her back, he offered a smile.  Story time was coming quickly, showing off his Victor’s skill finally becoming useful.  Clearing his throat, he looked away for a moment before wiping his hands on his pants before beginning. 

“When I was brought out of that arena three years ago I felt as though I was already dead.  I thought that there was no use in trying to revive me.” Magnus said, absentmindedly bringing his hand up to his face to touch the scars that lined his visage.  “I feel in love like a complete baboon, but every moment of it was worth it.  I was going to die in there, so why not fall in love?  It was probably going to be the last time I’d have a chance to have a romantic life.  Then I made friends in that arena, too.  I helped them when I should’ve killed them.” he sighed, remember Carter and Rhymer after the maze had caught fire.  There was also Houston, too, the poor boy that went insane. 

Feeling weak with nostalgia, he pressed on.  “Lena had become my significant other; the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  And then hell breaks loose and somehow I make it out of that hell hole.  Hours later, I’m crowned the Victor, but at what cost?  I kept seeing their faces; hearing their voices.  They should’ve won those games.  Not me.  For a year I battled them all, feeling pitiful.  Feeling desperate to take it all back.  I didn’t want the damn crown.  I wanted Lena to be alive.  Rhymer.  Carter.  Houston.  Anyone but me.”

“And then things finally made sense.  I was pulled out of that place for a reason, and that’s because I was meant to keep their memories fresh.  That’s when I accepted them.  I let all that guilt come in and accepted it as another scar.  That they’re just reminders that there are others out there that can help you improve your life.  I know that if you didn’t feel guilty about your sister then you wouldn’t be plagued by her ghost.  It’s only natural.” Magnus comforted, his tone even and consoling. 

“But you can’t beat yourself up for making a mistake.  It doesn’t matter what you did in the past because we live in the present.  I think that you can still show that you’re sorry for what you’ve done.  We live with the mistakes we make, nothing can take them back but everything you do from then on out proves whether you are actually sorry about it.  No one is going to burn you for what you’ve done.  You’re a Victor now.  They don’t kill Victors; they let them try to cope with everything.  Whether you let it destroy you or not is all up to you.  Just know that I’m rooting for you.”  He smiled, hoping and praying that somehow this would get through to her and not seem like a lecture.  Magnus was honestly cheering for her.  There was some odd likeable quality to her. 

That only grew as she choked up the food, a loud laugh echoing around the District Twelve apartment as he watched her.  “Don’t tell me you’ve never had pop-tarts!  I know you live fancy lives in District One, but if they don’t let you have them then they’re depriving you of absolutely everything.  The Old Man had me hooked the first time I got tipsy.  It’s only fair that I let you try them and…well, barf them back up.”  

[amethyst-alkali]

Amethyst wiped her mouth after spitting out the pastries. “Well, thank you for spreading the wealth.” She poured herself a glass of water, washing away the cardboard taste. She filled up a plate of fruit and returned to her chair, popping a strawberry into her mouth. “Real fruit is far better than whatever was in that thing.”

She sipped on her water, having discarded the beer Magnus had handed her. Listening to him recant his tragedy had eased her tension. He had not judged her or condemned her; he had related. He was sharing some of his most intimate stories with her--a stranger--in order to make her feel less alone.

Not only was she a stranger, but by many accounts she wasn’t even human.

But she could not fathom what he was talking about. She couldn’t see any light at the end of this tunnel, and she really didn’t care. She just wanted some peace and sleep before she was led to the gallows. He was able to recover; she couldn’t hope for that. No one wanted her recovery; no one wanted her to be forgiven.

Neither did she.

“I--I just want her to leave me alone. I don’t care about my lynch mob; they lead me to the guillotine and it would be fine. I just don’t want...her.”

[capitolsprincess-deactivated201]

Introductions || Amethyst & Lynx

[capitolsprincess-deactivated201]

  Lynx waved the shrink comment aside, scoffing at the ‘diagnosis’. She too, had been sent to a psychiatrist by her parents, as though labelling their daughter as something and giving her pills would change anything. If anything, none of the mentors were any better than Amethyst. They were all killers, whether they wanted to be or not. 

”Well I’m glad the shrink checked you out, I’d be offended if I found out I was talking to a low-functioning sociopath, or worse, someone who wasn’t a sociopath at all.” She smirked, her eyes darting back to the tributes as a tribute throwing spears caught her eye.

”Trial, hey? I guess the worst they can do is lock you up, they probably won’t even do that. get your shrink to wave the ‘sociopath’ diagnosis and they’ll probably send you to a mental ward for a few weeks. At least if you get locked up you don’t have to play glorified nanny anymore.”

She shook her head, licking her lips. It was probably Snow, orchestrating all the media fuss behind Amethyst. He didn’t like when his mentors did anything shameful, hell, anything normal. They were supposed to be the model citizens, representing the glory and power of the Capitol. And Amethyst, had broke away from such an image, and so she would pay.

She caught the end of Amethyst’s question, letting out a ‘hmm?’ as she turned her head to stare at the girl. What was her scandal? She hadn’t exactly done anything wild to produce a scandal, in fact, she was one of, if not the tamest person the press shone light on. 

”I don’t have one, never have. I’m the Golden Girl, the people’s princess.” She rolled her eyes.”I’ve done nothing but be a model victor, and if anything goes down, Snow brushes it under the rug for me. Wouldn’t want to tarnish my reputation after all.” 

[amethyst-alkali]

“Honestly, I think the only reason I’m here is because of Snow. He and my family were close….and sticking me here as Mentor postponed my trial.” She thought it through. Yes, she had been close to Snow since she was small, but she was not naive. She knew that given the choice, he would toss her to the wolves for the ratings.

“May--maybe that’s why I’m here. Not as a favor, but to be another feature of the Games.” Amethyst muttered more for her benefit than anything. She thought about the batch of Mentors at this Games: there were the few that the media was eating alive, such as herself and Jasmine. Then there were the pretty ones...all in all they were a bunch of lambs ready for public slaughter. Snow was angling for ratings with these Games.

Maybe he needed to make sure more people watched the Quarter Quell.

Amethyst chuckled darkly. “Tell you one thing, though. A mental hospital would be better than watching these fools train.”

She watched her own Tributes listlessly toss weapons around. As haunted as she was, she still felt disappointed in them. Careers volunteered. Careers were bred for the Games.

She knew more than most.

“The perfect princess, huh? You never get into trouble?”

[keegangates]

Mentor Bonding - Amethyst & Keegan

[keegangates]

  "Oh honey,"  Keegan sighed, holding out one of the bottles that she brought from the small kitchen.  She quickly unscrewed hers and took a lasting sip.  "Tonight, I think it will be best if we both just drink it straight."  She offered with a smile.   Keegan felt horrible for the girl, she looked ill and malnourished, and she couldn’t help but feel that it was partly her fault.

"How are you holding up?"  She felt fake asking questions like she actually could handle taking on Amethyst’s problems as well as her own, but she needed to ask, to at least make her feel like she was cared for.  She lifted the bottle to her lips and drew in a long drink, letting the alcohol burn as it traveled down her throat and enjoying the sensation.  "First year out of the Games is rough.  I understand that.  But you can talk to me if you ever need anything or whatever."  Her words even tasted awkward in her mouth, this caring attitude was not something that she employed often.  However, at the moment, it was more than needed.

"Even though I might not be the best Mentor ever, but, I can tell you something."  Keegan took another sip of her drink before starting the hysterics that were to follow.  "I think we both have enough issues to fill up an entire Mental hospital…so I guess we can bond off of that?  I have a fucking baby and Cyrus doesn’t even know he’s the father and I’m floundering around in this strange constant drunken stage trying to find a way to tell him and you’re here and the fucking baby is here and I’m just really really sucking at everything right now.”

[amethyst-alkali]

“To be fair, I might get thrown into that mental hospital along with all of our issues,” Amethyst muttered. She took the bottled from Keegan, unscrewing the top. She was still so new to this drinking thing, she was very leery of drinking the alcohol straight.

She didn’t even know what kind it was...which alcohol was clear instead of dark?

She turned the bottle around, reading VODKA spelled out over the Panem seal. There was a number at the bottom; it read 90 proof. She assumed it was some sort of sample test grade it had received; she was drinking B vodka.

She followed Keegan out of her room, closing the door behind her as they moved to the living room. She couldn’t sit on her bed anymore, not when her sister could make an unwanted appearance in their conversation. She curled up on the sofa, still avoiding the cold bottle in her hand. But at the mention of Clara and her unknowing father, Amethyst took a polite swig from the fifth.

She coughed as the burn hit her throat. The bitter liquid seared her mouth and made her stomach roil. She spluttered as the taste refused to leave her mouth; her tongue was smothered with the acrid liquid. She struggled to hide it, though, knowing that this was the socially acceptable thing to do; you drank and let it burn as you talked about things. She swallowed hard a few times before attempting to speak again.

“I appreciate your help, Keegan. There’s just...not a lot anyone can do. It’s not the Arena that’s doing...well this.” She shook the vodka bottle. “It’s what happened before I even got into the Games. You know…” She trailed off. Keegan knew. She had seen the news; she had even been there at the Reaping for her mini breakdown.

“But...how is Clara? Have you thought about telling Alderate?”