Control-freaking (maybe) feminist

I am awkward, but determinate, PhD student in Educational Sciences. I need to find my onto-epistemological position, I think it is critical feminist, but who knows? (I might end up postpositivist :(, jk) I ramble here about things I find interesting, feel free to never read (seriously, I don't expect readership, I do this to express myself)

[askyea-poesy]

Let people lose you. Let people be wrong about you. Learn to leave well enough alone. Often, the greatest peace is not found in correcting others. It's found in correcting yourself, accepting the lessons, and knowing when to walk away.

Morgan Richard Olivier

[amiafeminist]

Wow, you got me there. I was talking with a friend another day and we came to a conclusion that I was a control freak who trys (and inevitably fails) to control everything. It seems indeed that that control-freakiness in me is a source of a lot of pain. So, should I try and better my control-freaking skills, or should I try and learn to let the things that are uncontrol-freaking-lable go?

The answer is obvious... To everyone but me :)

So catch me trying to control the behavior of people I don't even know.

[penisunbelievable]

[amiafeminist]

Might as well try!

[amiafeminist]

Onto-epistemological position

I'm a PhD student in social sciences (family studies/education). I'm trying to find myself in the sea of paradigm. I don't fucking know what am I -- hence my name: Am i a feminist?

I hope to find out if I am a critical feminist, poststructuralist, posthumanist or whatever the fuck it's right thing for me to be. I think it is feminist, but I don't like TERF.

[amiafeminist]

Fear of being seen

I'll really go ahead and put anything. I am so fucking over of walking around on tiptoes trying to be perfect and not too much, but just the right amount of good, right amount of funny, right amount of talking, etc. I rarely share my opinions in a room full of people. It is not that I don't have them or that I'm stupid. I just always want to not be perceived, not be seen or heard. I don't know why.

Here it stops. I'll write every little stupid nonsensical incorrect stuff. Just to exist and be too much. Too corny. Too bad at English. Too nonsensical. Cheers!

[thehopefulquotes]

“She understood that the hardest times in life to go through were when you were transitioning from one version of yourself to another.”

— Sarah Addison Allen

[amiafeminist]

I'm learning this, or hoping to learn this...