it’s not too late @penisunbelievable - Tumblr Blog

https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

aspiringwarriorlibrarian

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

baronfulmen

"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.

#action park #nf

marinella-ela

leafstem

lets lay down with baby

lets lay down with mama

#animal <3

without-ado

Total Solar Eclipse l Sigma Sreedharan l Burgos, Spain

knight-of-ashes

It's midnight on a Sunday and my dash is several reblogs of an unscrollably-long and ridiculously well cited article on hagfish sex. I'm never leaving this website.

#nf

castielrisingabove

When it’s announced that a Bay Area middle school teacher is one of three heroes sent to save the world, San Francisco clamors to rename things to “Ryland Grace.” Grover Cleveland Middle is quick to the draw, becoming Ryland Grace Middle the very next school year. Grace also gets a street, of course, a science wing at Stanford, a state park along the coast — by the time the Beetles return, you could probably throw a rock in San Francisco and hit a Ryland Grace reference.

Eva Stratt, meanwhile, is a stain. Graffiti tucked away in alleys and under bridges, forever painted over by the powers that be. A name meant to be forgotten. Stratt has always known this was part of the deal: after all, humanity needs a villain just as much as it needs its heroes. The best she can hope for is to be erased entirely on Earth.

And yet, light-years away, there is a beloved body of water, its surface dancing with artificial waves, that Ryland Grace wistfully refers to as The Sea of Stratt.

#the eva strait :(((( prevvv #project hail mary

ndnbutch

personally I am of the opinion that vegans who are like “the way our food system currently works under capitalism on a large scale is exceptionally cruel to all animals including humans and is not sustainable, so I’m doing what I can to make the most ethical choices available to me about what I eat and encourage others to do the same” are generally very reasonable people who I agree with in spades. but vegans who seem to think human beings are not themselves animals who are ultimately also part of the food chain but instead some kind of other paternalistic higher entity that can never engage in ethical and sustainable hunting practices (and especially the fringe I’ve seen who think other carnivorous animal predators are also evil and need to be eliminated) are people I regard as foolish at best if not actively anti-indigenous and racist

ndnbutch

hey can y’all maybe ask yourselves why when people of color say things like “this movement I generally agree with has a racism problem” your gut instinct is to downplay and dismiss and say it’s only a few bad apples and that we’re co-opting the larger conversation by talking about it? can y’all examine this instinct in yourselves for a second?

shadowedf3ver

you believe me like a god, i’ll betray you like a man.

and yes, this is inspired by the painting: Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan

#oh man……#project hail mary

cloevr

#nf

allegedly-human

nonsense words such as "blorbo" and "skibidi" are outliers and a minuscule minority and thus do not invalidate that statement

#nf

hbmmaster

calling things "cutes" is so uh. what's a good word for when something is cute but slightly more cute

hbmmaster

the word cutes is autological

#nf

jawpeople

for a long time now, one of my go-to phrases is "shake it like a can of beans." im not really sure where this came from, but i've been saying it for three years or so. it never really occurred to me that this was unusual until yesterday when i was bouncing a baby in a rocker a little too violently (he was having a great time, it just wasnt exactly sending him to sleep) and i went "sorry, im shaking him like a can of beans over here" and both my coworkers reacted like i had said something insane

jawpeople

list of other things i've said that my coworkers really like:

everybody in the club getting baby (when 5 or more babies are fussy)

going absolute baby mode over there/he's activating baby mode (when the 10 month old is having a fit)

i play my blue eyed white baby (said when setting a specific baby on the floor)

sick 'em! (said when setting any other baby on the floor)

call her regina, she's a little bit dramatic (this is one of my go to phrases)

into the gladiator pit!/hey have you ever seen gladiator? (when two babies start wrestling/fighting) (i have not seen gladiator)

she's ready for college (when the three month old lifts her head to look around)

lock in, brother (i say this the most)

i say most of these phrases at least daily.

jawpeople

one of the babies was getting picked up and started screaming as soon as her dad pulled her from her crib (where she'd been sleeping) and i instinctively said "that's what we in the industry call: baby moding" and he started laughing so hard he almost dropped her

#nf #everybody in the club getting baby is so good