Are you insane like me?

21+. Amie.

[thedouble]

[mybodywakesup]

[amiemusxs-blog]

mundanerping:

Cameron had hardly been paying attention to anything. She was too busy viewing the flowers under the microscope. It was different seeing them so close up as opposed to in the garden or the many bouquets she’d made since she was fifteen. This was her element. Science wasn’t her forte but this was something she knew she’d excel at. Frankly, she didn’t want a partner. They would just bring her distraction and she wouldn’t be able to give her full attention to them. But the universe had other things in store for her. She groaned as the seat beside her was taken. She immediately felt bad. This wasn’t her– it was just that flowers made her crazy and overly passionate. 

Cameron cocked her head to the side. Hazel orbs flickered, taking in the new girl’s appearance and just her in general. A new face was always refreshing but this was even better. The girl at her side was different than the majority of their classmates. She lacked the big hair and overly dyed blonde jobs that most girls in Texas had. She was simple; much like herself. Although, the words that came out seemed to be very contrary to that. “Don’t feel bad. Trust me, flowers are my thing,” she beamed, removing the hair tie from her wrist. Pulling her messy brown hair into a loose bun, she continued to talk. “It’s just one of the family business. Like my Grams’ shop is just…” She stopped herself as she realized how cringe-worthy and braggy she might have off as. “Ew, I’m sorry. I can’t believe I just said that… ‘one of the family business’. I sound like Holly…” The same blonde she’d been feuding with her whole life turned to face her and merely rolled her eyes. Cameron could have sworn she called her a bitch which was completely a waste of breath. She’d heard worse from her and nothing fazed her anymore. “No, but like what I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to worry at all. I’ve been around flower since I was like five.”

Figuring she should probably shut up and save face a little, she proved her point. Looking at the buttercup and lily before them she traced the outline of it. “Do you know what class these flowers fit into,” she asked, figuring she already knew the answer. Actinomorphic would be the correct one, but she didn’t expect one at all.  Tossing a cheeky smile at the new girl, held up the lily next to her face. Cameron’s eyes darted between the two. “You’re definitely a lily. Simple and really pretty.” Shrugging her shoulders, she picked up the other bright yellow flower. “This is totally me. It matches my bright… annoying personality… I’m Cameron by the way and I talk way too much.”

If Renn had any concerns that this could be an instantly awkward mess of neither of them talking then all worry dissipated almost instantly. Not just because flowers were revealed to be her classmates thing but also because she didn’t even need to keep prompting her for words to flow out of her mouth. She didn’t grasp the implications of most of the words and she hadn’t even given the mention of a family business a second thought but it did seem to make her think that Cam was instantly better off than her. This wasn’t exactly a mental process that was alien to her but family businesses raised thoughts in her mind of bank accounts and heritage and everything along with that. She knew that wasn’t exactly what it meant but Renn wasn’t adept in that world. “I don’t know who Holly is. Sorry.” She said quietly, her tone instantly sheepish as she glanced around. She wasn’t good at making friends. Back in Seattle she’d only had a few and most of them had grown with her from childhood in the same area. They understood the way her family had to live and she got them in return. Texans seemed so aloof. So full of vanity and obsession. Why the hell was she going to cope her? A girl from the Pacific Northwest down in the ultimate South. Why the hell would she want to see some shitty Reunion Tower when she could see the Space Needle? She didn’t want to hear about the Dallas Cowboys when she could hear about the Seahawks. She didn’t even like football but the point still stood. 

“Well you’ve officially reassured me that you don’t have to be worried so...” She gave a small tight smile and looked across at the table and the flowers that Cam was now touching. “What class? Because I have absolutely....no idea. When I told you that I didn’t know I meant it...” She sounded slightly bothered that she didn’t know the answer but the little sad expression was brief when Cam raised the lily to her face. Pretty? Simple sure but....she had said pretty too. “Oh uh....thank you. That’s...cool.” She crinkled her nose a bit and shook her head, causing a few short strands of hair to break free from her ponytail and fall down across her neck. “Well I don’t mind people that talk a lot...I don’t really talk...much.” She paused and chewed her lip as she folded her hands and set them in her lap. “Renn. I’m Renn. Did I say that? The teacher said it. Ah. Nice to meet you, Cameron. You’re the...third person that has actually bothered to talk to me.” She gave another one of her small insecure smiles and tried to focus hard back on the flowers. She’d never paid much attention to wildlife. Fall drives out to Mount Rainier National Park seemed a whole world away. “Texas is a lot less green than Washington. It’s a little depressing. That was quite an obvious statement to make but...” She fell quiet again and shrugged. 

[amiemusxs-blog]

mundanerping:

Cameron harshly took her bottom lip between her teeth. Her eyes landed on her friend’s chiseled physique. What the hell was she thinking? A million things were wrong with this scenario. If they hadn’t fucked in the time they’d known each other– she never imagined that would. But one drunken and high text, and here they were. The Texan was already down to a pair of her basketball shorts and camisole. And the moment both came off, she’d find there was nothing underneath. What was the point? Cameron had been planning this. “Don’t make me regret it,” she muttered, her words raspy and her arms wrapping around Andy. Her nails raked over her back. There wasn’t a single ounce of nervousness in her body. As kissed trailed her skin she was certain that she definitely wanted this. “You decide,” she moaned, moving the other girl’s hand beneath the polyester fabric. Just from those few seconds she was already unbearably wet. Whether she took the reins or gave them to her– she couldn’t care less. Someone was getting fucked because she was too aroused for that not to happen. Raising a brow, she wasn’t surprised with her knees hit the back edge of the mattress. Not bothering with pretenses, she fell back on it. She decided in that moment as she looked up at Andy that they both were going to be fucked; even just once. Tugging at her arm, she pulled her down on her body. “C'mere, stop fucking around,” she muttered, just wanting to kiss her again.

“Oh Cameron...” Andy crooned as she settled further on to the bed, covering Cam’s body with her taller one in an easy languid movement. “As if I’d fuck around when I could fuck you.” She breathed, eyes openly raking down Cam’s covered body as she pressed her hips down flush against the frustrating polyester of the older woman’s shorts. She could feel the heat between them; an unexpected and raw burn previously unexplored despite a few precise and taunting touches of hands only meant for humour and fake want. Except it wasn’t fake want that Andy’s eyes poured as she leered at Cameron’s lips. It was real and molten and sensual; or at least the tingle beneath Andy’s fingertips was as she traced her touch up Cameron’s throat, clasping hard at her jaw as she dipped and met her mouth with lustful force. “You’re not that bad of a kisser, Graham...” She breathed harshly as the deep kisses ceased. In a surprisingly tender gesture she pushed Cam’s hair back off her forehead and brushed their noses together. The lull was brief though and soon enough she clasped hard around Cam’s wrists and wrenched them above her head. Her hips pressed against Cam’s crotch with more force, the front of her sweatpants slipping down to show that Andy too had forgone underwear in anticipation. Except the black harness partially visible around her hips showed that she hadn’t forgone something else. She very quickly lost herself in Cam’s mouth again, her hands starting an indecisive battle over whether they want to keep Cam still or explore her body. The pursuit for exploration won and she didn’t waste time in pushing Cam’s camisole up over her breasts, fingertips very lightly grazing against her nipples. “Damn...” She murmured, taking a heartbeat to ease back and gaze at Cameron’s body properly. Her fingers clenched around the fabric, bunching it up atop Cam’s chest while her eyes lingered over the older girl’s torso. Seemingly unable to resist she dipped her head, running her tongue between her breasts before turning her neck and taking a nipple in to her mouth. The motion of her tongue were slow and languid and her lips curved upward in a smile as she cast her eyes up to Cam’s face. Fingers inched lower, dragging over her stomach before they hooked in to her basketball shorts and gave a harsh tug. “I want you completely naked when I take you, Graham....now be a good girl and make it happen.”

[toomucharitime]

[amiemusxs-blog]

Dallas was nothing like Seattle, Renn thought for the hundredth time as she gazed absently out of the window. Her chin rested heavily in her hand, extended fingers keeping her glasses at the top of her nose. In the most distant realm of her heavy mind she could hear the teacher addressing them; something to do with chlorophyll and mitosis but Renn didn’t care. She didn’t even understand. If she hadn’t been smart by the standards in Washington then she wasn’t going to be any smarter by the standards of Texas. So why should she listen to someone whine on about the pollination and growth of flowers when she was two thousand one hundred miles from home, friendless and exhausted from a late shift down at the sandwich store on Commerce Street? Texas, quite honestly, sucked. 

The sudden sound of metal trays being shifted caught the teenager’s attention and reluctantly her eyes moved from the window to the desk at the front of the class. An assortment of flowers lay on each tray and Renn had to physically bite back her sound of disagreement. As she’d expected, and as the teacher went on to explain, they would be evaluating the flowers and commenting on their features. Renn was sure she could make many appropriate comments about this. Except she never really got a chance as the teacher was barking more instructions and Renn tried to zone out again but her name wrenched her back. “Renn. Why don’t you come sit over here so you can work with someone?” No. Why did she have to move? She could already feel her cheeks going warm and despite her internal willpower she just nodded dumbly. She’d been here just over a week and she was already ready to quit - save up enough for the fastest Greyhound coach to Seattle, beg for their house back and yes they’d be fine. She was a Hadley...and somehow a Hadley always survived. 

Nervously she swept her hair up in to a high ponytail, tying it twice when it failed the first time due to a few awkward far too short strands. Despite the slight flutter of worry in her chest she made her way to the table that the teacher had indicated. She placed her bag down, settled atop the stool, glanced down at the metal tray and then over at the girl who she had no recollection of ever actually talking to in her short time here. “Please tell me you don’t understand why we’re doing this too....” She muttered as she pushed her glasses up and gazed slightly warily down at the flowers before them. “I’m not very good at anything like this so I’m sorry already...I feel bad for you.” 

@mundanerping

[stydixa]

[lostevrything-deactivated201601]

[clubedegarotas]

[camdamage]

[duplicitie-deactivated20170708]

[amiemusxs-blog]

Andy breathed slowly as she paused in the doorway, her hands deep in the pockets of her tracksuit pants that hung low around her flat hips. Her dark brown eyes burned as they trailed over the crisp sheets of the bed but the spark in them flickered more so as they rested on Cameron’s body. “Bet you never thought you’d have to be in a bedroom with me again, huh?” She asked smugly as she crossed to the bed. With each step the muscles in her stomach shifted, fully visible given the fact she was only wearing a sports bra on the top of her body. Her eyes never left Cameron once as she wound behind her and wrapped slender fingers around her hips, pulling her harshly back against her firm body. She could say so many things but words weren’t necessary as she nudged her nose against Cam’s jaw, the scent of her shampoo flooding her nose. “And who knew you wanted to fuck me this bad? This was your idea right? You invited me here...” She breathed as lips replaced her nose, open mouthed kisses marking Cam’s warm skin. “Or is it that...” She began as her fingers slipped up Cam’s stomach. Her nails were not long but they still dragged across the flesh, causing faint red lines. “You just need a good fucking, Graham?” Her smirk was so obvious against Cameron’s neck and she savoured the moment of having everything Cameron in her arms before she stepped back and shoved her forward on to the mattress, kneeling on the edge of it shortly after. 

[girlyy-lovee]

[girlyy-lovee]

[mundanerping-blog]

Bella had preferred focusing on the sound of the water. The hum that came with it was music to her ears simultaneously with the soft splash that came as it cascaded off her ex-girlfriend’s body. It made this all a little more tolerable and a lot less real. Conversation was truly irrelevant. The bubbles coating Becca’s seemingly smaller frame was an essential. Cleanliness was next to godliness or something like that. The Italian wasn’t one for religion but in that moment she wished that she was. She wanted an explanation for why the girl she so reluctantly loved would do this to herself. Selfishness reared its head in that instant. Why would she do that to her? They may’ve not been together, but it wasn’t because she’d stopped loving her or that she’d done anything wrong. Her single mistake might’ve been in falling for her.  She was a goner from the first time she’d sat on the hood of her car. The girl was a beautiful disaster but she’d almost been hers. How could Becca not see that something of this magnitude would hurt her, too? Hadn’t she done that enough already? But there it was, the sound of her heart dropping. “Senior year?” Shakily, she continued her motions– gently scrubbing as she listened. Her prom, she’d gone with a sweet but dull boy. They’d had a few drinks and had sex. The few weeks after were fun but then high school ended and so did their short-lived relationship. As underwhelming as it may have all been, she was perfectly alright once it was said and done. That explained a lot, she reflected on the statement regarding her mother. Bella had known she wasn’t keen on the woman but didn’t understand the depth of it. She’d never quite comprehended why until now. The brand-new information hit her like a ton of bricks and with that came the sting of tears wanting to fall. In a matter of seconds, she had fallen and risen a heartbeat later. “Becca…” Stopping her motions, she inhaled slowly. “Why didn’t you just…? W-why would you…” Frustrated with her sudden inability to formulate words and sentences, she sharply breathed out. Instead of bothering to express herself verbally, she took a different approach. Not caring about the water, she dropped her sponge and her arms wrapped around Becca’s worn body.

[amiemusxs-blog]

Senior Year, she echoed mentally. Rebecca thought she’d be able to hold everything together that year for the sake of her future but the years prior had alright sent her down a slope paved with ice. She was not smart by the standards of any academic institution and she’d never be held up for anything she did in terms of literary work but she tried. Rebecca Tucker constantly tried because that was all she had. She didn’t always do the right thing by the standards of those around her and especially the woman before her but she had a heart that had experienced far less love than it had given. Not from Bella of course; love had flowed thick and passionately in their relationship. Rebecca had been smitten, she was sure, from the first time she’d spotted the beautiful Italian girl and despite the obstacles apparent at the beginning of their relationship they’d come together so well. Still, even now, there were questions neither of them had answers to and the ones that Bella breathed in such a frustrated manner had no clear response from Becca either. Before she could even contemplate them she felt the embrace of Bella’s body and suddenly her world was bathed in the same light that had always dispersed her darkened mind. Bella was home. Bella was the love of her life. Bella’s arms around her in that moment nearly had her knees buckling with the intensity of someone full of faith in a time of crisis. “Because at that time I didn’t have you, Bells...” She whispered when she could finally manage an answer. It was the truth. Even amongst blown pupils and an increased heartbeat it was the gospel truth. She’d had nothing else. Sure she’d left the vices in Chicago but she’d stumbled back in to them in Nashville. She could get what she wanted with ease whether that was drugs, alcohol or a warm body. None of it came close to the cravings and desire she had for Bella. With a deep breath in that hurt her face she pulled herself back just a bit, refusing to leave Bella’s grasp. Her lips, chapped ever so slightly, tilted upward. “I bet you’ve seen me look better, right? Bit of a nightmare really...”

[mundanerping-blog]

Late. It was only the first day of class and she was already late. Rolling her eyes, the sophomore sat down in her seat. The small lecture hall was crawling with second years and those that were likely repeating or those that needed it last minute for graduation. A few vacant spots, but it was obvious her class had filled fast during sign up time. The rest of her classmates and professor were staring at her, but she couldn’t care less. Dressed in her pajamas, she hadn’t even bothered to change. It was 8:15 in the morning, who in their right mind would? Apparently, just about everyone besides her. The Texan wasn’t bothered as she pulled her hair back into back into a ponytail. She’d only brought her notepad and phone. Everything else was stored away in her dorm room. She figured it was just syllabus day anyway. If it wasn’t, she could only say oops so many times. As the first several minutes ticked away, she hadn’t been paying attention to anything. She’d been catching Pokemon– so much more important than actually knowing what she was doing for the rest of the semester. Although, when she did finally look up, her gaze fell on the front of the class and her breath caught in her throat. Oh, fuck. It was her. Cameron would likely recognize that face for a long time. She’d recognize a lot of her. That girl had occupied since they’d both left the ski lodge except she wasn’t supposed to ever see her again. Least of all as her fucking teacher’s assistant. With her arm covering her mouth, she erupted in a minute coughing fit. Her professor stopped his rambling just to stare at her along with everyone else. “What? It’s flu season,” she weakly defended, her wide eyes falling directly on Renn.

[amiemusxs-blog]

Renn was tired. She was really tired and a start this early in the morning was far from ideal. However she’d signed herself up for this gig and she couldn’t go back on it now. Not only did it pay her a little extra for her hours but it would look rather positive once she graduated. The job she’d taken during her first year hadn’t exactly been as creditable but the pay had been...standard. Predominantly tips...thrown on to a glossy stage. Being a TA certainly made her a lot cleaner but these mornings were going to be the end of her; especially if the guy a few houses down kept offering to buy three bottles of wine every time she came round. He didn’t even drink wine. When the door opened a little later than she’d expected it to Renn jumped slightly in her seat and gripped the edge of her notebook. She’d been gazing out at the faces of those in the class but the girl in the pyjamas caught her attention slightly more. Perhaps it was just the pyjamas. She quickly got over her half-hearted look however and turned back to the professor as he spoke. She could already tell he’d be the type to slide his teaching schedule across the desk and request she take this lesson because his ex-wife was causing him problems or some shit like that. She would do it without retort but that wasn’t the point. It wasn’t technically her job but... As she focused on a faded patch on the wall far across the room she did not feel the gaze upon her and only roused at the sound of coughing. Her eyes flicked upward and she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. The distance swam more in to focus and for a second she wished it had remained hazy. Oh. Shit. She knew that face and that voice. The memory of it was dragged from the back of her mind. Her fingers gripped a little tighter around the notebook when their eyes met. It certainly hadn’t been the first time they’d met gazes - except last time Renn was pretty sure she’d been making noises against her mouth. Without thinking she bit down on her lip and sank back a little in her chair, sculpted eyebrows rising toward her forehead. So there had been a reason she’d been looking at her ass in her pjs...mainly because she’d seen it bare and in her hands and...she coughed loudly and covered her mouth, desperately trying to fight back the fact she wanted to laugh nervously. She felt the professor’s eyes shift to her too with mild confusion. “She was right...” She muttered, gesturing toward Cam. “Flu season. Sorry....” She added quickly and pushed her glasses up once more. 

[mundanerping-blog]

Bella looked down at the other’s hand. Just moments prior, it was in her own. Contrary to what every fiber of being had said, it seemed to be a common occurrence between them. The two of them wandering the streets hand in hand– this time it was different. They hadn’t randomly come across one another. Her ex-girlfriend had needed her and not in any sense of the word she had grown to know. This wasn’t some hookup, or even Becca seeking out a friend. No, she genuinely needed her because she coked out of her mind. The Italian had beat herself since she’d gotten the text. How had she not known? There had to be signs? Sure, they weren’t together nor should they be but fuck did she love her. Clearly not enough if she hadn’t noticed something like this. Needless to say, the small touch knocked her off balance. “Don’t mention it, any friend would do this,” she sighed, almost cringing at the word. They’d undoubtedly started off as friends, but things had escalated and now– they weren’t even that anymore. They were something. Exes with a side of masochism, perhaps. Once Becca was no longer in her view, she promptly moved to her bed. Grabbing the pillow, she screamed into it. How had everything become so messed up? She was supposed to be dealing with her final year of school– her last year to play golf. Italy was just on the horizon. This was not supposed to be happening; and yet, it was. Only after she’d gotten back her composure did she enter the bathroom. A towel and a set of pajamas were in hand. Instinctively, her eyes traced her ex-girlfriend’s silhouette. It wasn’t sexual– just natural. She knew every inch and crevice of it. It had once been something she could call her own. But now, she knew that was foolish thinking. Becca would never be anyone’s, not even hers. “Fuck…” she muttered, placing everything on the seat cover of the toilet. Wordlessly, she walked over the shower and grabbed her sponge. Water almost instantly soaked her shirt but she didn’t pay it any mind. Coating the sponge with body wash, she gently and lovingly began scrubbing Becca’s upper torso with it. All the while, her gaze stayed on those dark– familiar orbs not once faltering. 

[amiemusxs-blog]

Oblivious to Bella’s internal conflict she offered the smallest smile she could possibly muster as she heard her enter the bathroom. Then her dark eyes slipped back to the wall of the shower, her focus swimming in the wake of her screwed senses. Rebecca had been playing this game long enough to know how a certain drug fucked up her body but the situation tonight had been so out of sorts that it had scared her. Terrified her in fact when blood had begun to pour. When the memories had begun to fade and when hands at grabbed at her that she hadn’t wanted. She hadn’t even been intimate with anyone since her last time with Bella but the drugs had substituted even more heavily to replace the intoxicated fucks she filled many of her nights with. None of them were good. All of them disgusted her. No one was Bella. What she didn’t expect was Bella to join her and the confusion was clear on her face amidst her lost, desperate eyes with their blown pupils and eternal self loathing. With surprisingly precise motions of her feet she turned to Bella and observed the sponge in her hand. She understood and cast her eyes downward when the first touch came against her torso. At first she was composed as she met Bella’s eyes but all at once the reality consumed her empty heart. Isabella Moretti had always deserved better than a drug riddled cheater but that wasn’t the person Becca had been with Bella -- not until the very end when the drugs had called her back and sent her spiralling toward another warm body. She had been tender and gentle and so completely in love but her vices always won out in the end. “Senior year.” She began, swallowing thickly. The water had plastered her hair to her scalp and droplets hung to her eyelashes like the tears she hadn’t yet spilt. “Prom. I wore a red dress and danced with a guy called Jacob. I did two lines of cocaine in the bathroom while they gave the Prom Queen her crown.” Her voice was level but the depth in her eyes was haunting. “My seventeenth birthday. I popped pills with the guy my mother was screwing while she was passed out in the kitchen. She hadn’t even got me a present...” This was the first time her voice trembled since she’d started speaking but she kept her eyes on Bella’s. She opened her mouth to speak again but the words never came. The words about how just a week after they’d broken up she’d gone so hard and so far that her father had thought she’d died in a bed at Nashville General with tubes in her motionless body. “If you never listen to anything else I say then please listen to this: you saved me. For so long, Bells. You didn’t have to and you didn’t ask to but you did without even knowing it...”