How Did I Get Here?

•as above so below as within so without • •craving freedom of the self from the self•Pictures tagged mine are my original work.

[memewhore]

[420moshdad]

i googled best picture on the internet and i am not disappointed

[whitepeopletwitter]

People who are part of the “Hustle Culture” really are built different

[chessys]

romanticise buying things off my wishlist

[chavorruco-noventero-deactivate]

Normalize donating to my paypal

[sickfake]

yeah i’m beautiful but where is my mental stability???

[givemearmstopraywith]

you are not unloveable you are just sad and a little bit angry. let’s go have some soup

[demilypyro]

The concept of a catholic school is unfamiliar to me. What do you learn there? Holy math? Christian physics? Homophobia?

[thedudefromdownunder]

unfortunately you are correct

[demilypyro]

Oh

[funnytwittertweets]

[amygdalae]

Keying/graffiti-ing someones car is old news now if someone cheats we go at their wardrobe with a seam ripper

yknow what? Fuck you *unstitches all your shirts and jeans*

[melyzard]

My mother did this to my father once. They got into an argument, my very pregnant and hormonal mother stormed off…except they lived in a tiny apartment so the only place to go was to shut herself into the closet for a good long sulk. And while she was sitting in there, fuming, she looked up and saw her sewing kit on the shelf, and all my father’s uniforms hanging right there.

So she picked one shirt and one pair of trousers, carefully, methodically ripped every third stitch out of every seam, and then hung them back up together so that he would be likely to pick them at the same time. This took her a couple hours, so by the time she was done, the anger had worn down. She came out, she and my father had a talk that ended in apologies, after which they were tired and went to bed. My mother swears up and down that she meant to warn my father about the sabotaged clothes in the morning, but he wore a different uniform set and they were both still feeling a little raw, so she didn’t want to bring up the fight again. She decided to tell him that night instead.

And then she forgot.

Anyway, about four days later, my father apparently came home roughly an hour after he left for work, his clothes slowly, gently shredding off his body, the most bewildered expression on his face. “Paula,” he said, his voice mildly shell-shocked. “Paula, my clothes are broken.”

My mother promptly burst out laughing so hard that she went into labor. And that’s the story of my birth, heralded by petty vengeance and utter confusion.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

Had a dream that McDonald’s had a big ad campaign that just said “WE HAVE IT” in black cryptic writing. So I went to a drive thru and said “I saw the sign. Can I have it” and the speaker was silent for a solid ten seconds before saying “do you think you’re ready” in my voice and I screamed and drove away

[angfdz-deactivated20160505]

ok you’re thick but is your heart thick ? 🐸☕️

[emigration]

that’s actually called hypertrophic cardiomyopathy and people die from it

[coolyo294]

mickey mouse advocates for the violent overthrow of governmental institutions this december 

[valtsv]

my ability to attract misfortune is so bad that i genuinely worry about stuff like accidentally rear ending a guy who turns out to be a wizard who's already having a really bad day and getting my entire bloodline cursed over it

[valtsv]

wait a minute

[valtsv]

[you-are-another-me]

[tlirsgender]

I have like a lot of very angry thoughts about the glasses industry and the way vision is treated as separate from healthcare but it's also one in the morning and I've taken my melly tonin so you have to wait to hear them

[tlirsgender]

Having to pay for the ability to see is already some bull shit but having to pay MORE the stronger your prescription is should radicalize you. Is there even a fucking reason for it to work like that

[tlirsgender]

"Um um um the lenses are thicker so it takes more materials-" what if I attacked you and bit you and killed you. Anyway goodnight for realsies this time I prommy