A Miracle 4 Us

Despite the mountains infertility has placed in our way, our dreams came true. After 5 years of struggles, IUI, multiple IVF cycles, miscarriages our sweet daughter arrived in 8/12. After another miscarriage we were lucky enough to have a happy little boy in 2/15. Happily ever after doesn't only happen in fairytales, right?

[foodffs]

HOT FUDGE PUDDING CAKE (VEGAN & GLUTEN-FREE)

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[amiracle4us]

Charlie, Oh my sweet boy, how can you be two? It feels like just yesterday we were bringing you home watching your sister fall in love with you. Right now You are laying in my arms, asleep after nursing. Your little hand lays upon my chest after having fallen from its usual neck rubbing activity while tired. Someday maybe the cut on my neck will heal, but until then it continues to get rubbed while you say sweetly "oh mama boo boo". I could listen to your little voice all day long. Over the past month your language has exploded. You will have early mornings for many days in a row and then wake the next saying new things and stringing along more words. There is still a little pause between while you work out the kinks but it gets faster everyday. As my Spanish gets better I realize you can speak just as many Spanish words as English and that in itself amazes me about you. You are bilingual and it's normal to you! When you count we tend to more in Spanish...you can get to six now! When we ask if it's going to be your birthday you say "yup, dos" telling everyone you will be two. Finally you are becoming more brave around Ra-Ra (Roxie). You don't run with tears falling when she passes you by and have even given her hugs lately. A few times you have played tug with her and laugh so loudly. Your favorite person remains Emma. She's the first thing you ask for in your sleepy voice upon waking and the last one you kiss goodnight. You are her shadow, more so than mine now. Whatever she does, you try to do even if you know your little body can't keep up. I love watching your bond grow. You normally call her Emma but occasionally say Mema (maybe a combo of Emma and Mama...she is like a mini mama to you!) and Em. She gets so excited when you want to play with her or unprompted give her a hug and kiss. Your biting habit seems to be calming down (knock on wood) thankfully making play time less stressful! Over the past year we have avoided road trips because you still haven't found your love of a car seat. You are an excellent flier though! We have traveled to NY three times this year, including once with just us last March. It was great as Nana and Papa and Sean were able to see your first steps! You loved the beach house and playing in the water. You are hard headed and stubborn. When you say no it is always with a right foot stomp. When we say no it results in a hung head and very big tears. Everything is "I do it" right now. You love helping so if we need something done we just ask for help and there you are. You love coming to me to get love after being told no or whenever you are sad. You snuggle in with your arms between our bodies. It's the sweetest little move. Your teacher Gloria, whom you have had since 14 months is so sad you will be moving up. Lately your "job" is giving the kids their blankets in class. Yesterday Gloria said not only did you hand everyone their blankets, but told them to go night-night and as they laid down on the cot, you patted their booties as we do yours!! She always tells us you are such a silly boy and even when you do something wrong, it's hard to correct you because you are so cute. "I just love him so much" she says laughing and shaking her head. Everyone that meets you talks about what a happy boy you are. And you are Charlie. You spread joy and laughter to anyone that knows you. I didn't know my heart could love someone as much as it does you. I am a little fearful of the next year given your stubbornness but can't wait to see all you accomplish and the laughter you bring me. Stay sweet my little baby. Stay kind (as you rub your heart). Stay wild. I love you with everything I have. Love, Your Mama

[amiracle4us]

Life in a nutshell... 1. Christmas this year was amazing. People always talk about how magical it is with kids and I never got that. Until now. This year Emma has the anticipation, she had things on her Santa list she really wanted, she was over joyed about being in NY with family, obsessed with the Christmas tree and seeing twinkling lights everywhere. That was fun. Unbelievably fun. Charlie was a hoot as he just oooh'd and ahhhh'd at anything Emma did. 😂 Being back home and watching them build upon my childhood traditions and surrounded by my family just made my heart explode. 2. I got an instapot and made to-die-for ribs last night in 30 mins! And they where Whole30 compliant 3. Oh yea, I am attempting Whole30 this month. Day four and feeling good. Let's see if I make it... 4. I got new glasses. Why do I always wait too long to get a new script? The difference is always amazing. Now I need new prescription sunglasses ASAP but spending another $350 isn't what I want to do! 5. I want another baby but C doesn't. I don't want another if he doesn't bc that only will cause conflict. I like the idea of having extra money next summer when E is out of daycare (bc she will be in kindergarten!) but how can I not have another little squishy faced babe!!!! I need baby toes in my life please. 6. My children stink at sleeping. Literally. I've given up trying and they just sleep with me. I get a hell of a lot more sleep this way and well, sleep is precious to me. 7. C's truck got hit by a drunk driver and is totaled. He wasn't in the truck thankfully but I really wanted to avoid another car payment until next summer but that isn't going to happen. Crap. 8. My house is finally almost done! Just waiting for the contractor to do the screened in porch and landscape the backyard (patio in front of porch with garden around that) and we are done!!! At least with huge projects. I have a few wood working ideas but hey, those can wait a few months. I have to get before and after pics bc no one ever believes what we did to this place and where it started. Speaking of sleep...good night!

[momcode-blog1]

[foodffs]

Rosemary Grapefruit Gin Fizz

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[amiracle4us]

I loved my weekend.

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[foodffs]

Homemade Vanilla Extract and Free Printable

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[novellaroyale]

[amiracle4us]

The eye of the beholder.... I had a makeup session before doing a shoot and I found the transformation astonishing. It is amazing how make up can change a persons face so much, but for the better? I personally thought heck ya! I look 100x. Better with make up on but then I asked my 4 year old her thoughts. She chose the make up free pic saying I looked prettier. It took me back a little and I started thinking about how influential the media can be. If we see something enough we start to believe it to be truth. We see these gorgeous photoshopped models, perfects pressed and dressed lifestyle blogging families, and celebrities that have stylists and make up crews that put them together before a camera sees them and we think this is then "normal". It isn't until we stop and think about it that we realize it's all fake. It's staged. But until you think about it those images can weigh you down. They do me. They make me think I am not super mom because my house always has kids toys thrown about, kitchen counters with appliances and bags on them, beds half made and laundry baskets overflowing with clothes. But according to E, I am super mom. Want to know why? Because I read her favorite books and I play musical chairs with her. I give her food when she's hungry and I always have clean undies for her. And that my friends, I will take any day over these staged lives.

[amiracle4us]

Someone is election ready, are you? I certainly am ready for the day to be over, a decision in hand, and forward movement. Whatever that may be. I think it's ridiculous that the two up for election are our choices...really? I have never wanted a stronger third party in my life. I want the debates to be open to outside parties to allow for more options. The D and R's raise up who they want for their own agendas and not those of the people. It's an election of wealth and that's it. Put a cap on the process. Make the time frame shorter. Do something! Either way, I'll be happy when it's tomorrow. Maybe. (well, the R's didn't get their way this year but come on, we would have been better off with a candidate they wanted)

[foodffs]

[foodffs]

LAVENDER LEMON ANGEL FOOD CAKE

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[amiracle4us]

Please

[amiracle4us]

My mom is one of the most artistic person I know. She painted E a rocking chair before she was born to match her room and later a stepping stool. She struggled with an idea for lil C and showed up with these for now. Finally I hung them and love them!!

[eatingwatermelonseeds]

Moms across the world are labeling this song as “the best song ever!” Listen for yourself.

[amiracle4us]

I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since Roxie and I wandered the house for hours wondering “is this it”. Four years since I saw your daddy look at me with wide eyes asking why I was getting in the shower instead of calling the doctor. Four years since I walked the hospital floors wondering when you’d come. Four years since that darn epidural did not work and I had {unplanned} natural childbirth. Four years since my heart exploded into millions of little pieces right as I looked at your face. Four years since you blessed me in more ways than I could have imagined.

Over the past year you have shown me what a rock star you are at coping and adjusting to change. With your school being new and growing, the classes have shifted and with that came new friends and new teachers. With each change your daddy and I would hold our breathe and my anxiety would take over. But there you went, head held high walking straight into it. You have become a natural leader in your classes, especially with those younger. You see someone in need and you jump in to help. Whenever someone is sad or crying you run to give hugs. The kindness in your heart is awe inspiring.

It makes me wonder what you will be when you are grown. Currently you hope to be a surgeon. I am sure it is the influence of me being a nurse, talking about Papa Murray’s cardio-thoracic adventures and well, your own as well. This year you gave me a fright spiking a fever of 106.9…I have never in my days knew that could happen but there you were in the back of my car, barley responsive as we sped down the road. Then when Charlie, followed by you, had surgery you are so inquisitive wanting to know about everything. Enough so you went with the nurse anesthetist by yourself! You amaze me. Your little brain with so much intelligence steals my breath.

I love watching your love for creating. You have gone from scribbling lines to coloring inside lines. Your people have gone from unrecognizable blobs to those with heads, bodies, limbs, feet and even details like ears and hair. You are always creating with your imagination. Your favorite thing to do these days {still} is to play with babies, real or fake! Two new additions this birthday are Sunshine and Mia. You were so patient while Sunshine had to be sent to the doll hospital. We never told you this but it was Zoe who ate her toe🙈.

When you watch TV your favorites are Doc McStuffins, Curious George, Daniel and Peppa Pig and Zou. You haven’t been into watching movies again, which is a-okay. You’d rather be using your hands to build something and so would I.

One of my favorite things to see is how your relationship with Charlie is blossoming. Since the day we brought him home you have claimed him as your own and still today, he is yours. You have patience with him and for him unlike many I’ve seen. You have his heart, so be gentle, guide him and continue to teach him as you do today.

So often your daddy and I shake our head in wonder. How did we get so lucky to have you? Your laugh is contagious. Your heart is huge. Your smile can light up a room.

Oh but don’t be fooled, you have another side too! You are stubborn and have a huge fight inside you. You can throw a fit like the best of them and contain a large amount of lung power when you are angry. You have grown so much this year working on containing it and using your words more. You calm with music and hugs much faster than anything.

I have always loved each stage of your life though have begged for one more month, one more week of each. But ultimately you grow and I have had to grow with you or get left behind. With each passing stage I quietly (or not) mourn the loss of the one left behind. I wouldn’t have it any other way though as it means you are then happy, healthy and thriving.

Emma Noelle, you have shown me and taught me so much in the years you have been here and I can’t wait to see what else you have to give.

[amiracle4us]

I should be sleeping right now but instead I'm staring at this little girl laying next to me. It's hard to imagine four years ago, right now, I was sound asleep oblivious to the fact I was going to be holding my sweet baby the next day. I'm in Denial that she's {almost} four. Four seems so much older than three. Three is still a little babe to me but four...it's like she's flipped into a young girl now. I want to keep them babies forever!

[amiracle4us]

Speechless....My Mothers Day present came yesterday and I couldn't be happier! Now...to find a spot to hang these heavy suckers.

[amiracle4us]

Friday's off!!!

Since E was born I came back to work at 32 hours/week with Thursday's off. It was a great midweek break and as easy to take Friday off for a long weekend. Yesterday my manager called asking if I'd be willing to switch and take Friday's off instead....say what??!!??! After confirming it wouldn't make waves (no one else has been allowed to work a reduced schedule) and confirming with daycare I jumped on it! I don't really like working 4 days in a row but for a long weekend every week I'll suffer! Haha