[amyptran]

a lot of my memory from the past is hazy but thank goodness i documented here. the last few days ive read my previous posts from years and years before.

i really just be putting anything out there. mind you not many ppl read my blog but damn i cant believe the things ive shamelessly shared. i avoided this blog for a time because pictures of me before i felt looked better than i do now but im earnestly working to change that mindset. im going back in and understanding things from a pov ive tucked away. ive changed so drastically from before but elements of me have remained forsure.

its fun resding about amy between 2026-2018.

[amyptran]

She is a motha

Rae, the daughter I have always wanted is finally here. I love being a mom, it's the best thing ever. I feel so happy and fulfilled every single day looking at my girl.

[amyptran]

It is May 26 and I am 5 months preggo!!!!!

Our babygirl is due in October :)

[amyptran]

wowww

it is jan 31 and I'm livig in 2024.

Kenny and I got married, own a house, and still have Kita our doggy.

This year I am hoping to become pregnant. Let's see if it happens.

[amyptran]

biiitch

I graduated with a goddamn Master’s in Education

I moved up north, 30 min from sacramento 

I have a dog  named Kita now and Drake still lives with me for now

I am really out here living in my next chapter of my life

and it feels wonderful

Although the high wears off at times, times where I am feeling shitty about not being able to find a job

but then my higher self drags me out of that rut and says this period will be so miniscule compared to the amount of work you will consistently have one day

so in the mean time

enjoy these mornings where you wake up at 7:30, 8:30, or whatever and have little to no obligation to get up 

enjoy these morning where you walk Kita aimlessly

enjoy these afternoons where you take a nap for like 1.5-2 hrs at like 1 pm 

it won’t be like this forever and there will be a time where i miss these times so why can’t i just be in the moment and enjoy it. i looooove to fight myself i swear

i think capitalism and the desire to “contribute” and make $$$ and family expectations is weighing down on me all in addition to my self criticism, which is a whole other element.

anyways

that’s where i’m at

so blessed and grateful to be living in the next chapter

taking it slow somedays and feeling hopeful 

other times feeling shitty and lost 

most times battling me inner thoughts and reminding myself to just be present

[amyptran]

the audacity I had manifesting my own man like this 

a journal entry from february 15, 2020. 

i met kenny for the first time a week before this

Things I know I want so far I would like someone independent but not in a I don’t need you kind of way I would like someone warm and comforting when necessary I would like someone responsible and proactive I would like someone that can communicate their thoughts and feelings I would like someone who understands my sarcasm and has the same humor as me but not too jaded/negative. Has to have a nice balance of optimism and positivity I would like someone that has some sort of passion, drive, and motivation for a goal I would like someone that would like to build a family I would like someone that is active and enjoys the outdoors I would like someone that makes me feel safe, secure, and protected I would like someone whom I can laugh at everything with. I would like someone who shares the same values as me. I would like someone who feels like a best friend.

[amyptran]

me monday through friday i swear to u

[amyptran]

drove up to sac to visit sofia, chieri, and lil baby :) got drinks, food, yogurt, and was able to catch up a bit.

this was the sun going home!

[amyptran]

doing the LA thing and drinking a strawberry green tea latte with macadamia nut milk

[amyptran]

LOOOOLLLL

[amyptran]

my friends from undergraaaaad who are current teachers hehe

[amyptran]

disneylaaaand

[amyptran]

ok at first i just thiught the leaves looked cool but

this a collection of photos of myself realizing “oh shit… am I my own best friend??” while eating ice cream by myself at niles after work one day

i love my actual other best friends but to mentally arrive at this place and feel content with my own company is really nice lol granted i would never speak so mean to my best friends the way i speak to myself so maybe im not my own best friend yet but we on the map somewhere

[amyptran]

im so proud to share what i learn with the kids

[amyptran]

my mom gave me this jade necklace.

i also drew that pooh in the back

[amyptran]

i really forget that kenny is tall 90% of the time

[amyptran]

the egg coffee at k cafe is spectacular