What are their values?
Are you committed to helping them become the best version of themselves?
Are they right for me?
What does the word love mean?
Look at what people value based on where they spend their money, energy and time.
What does love mean to you?
Is it fun/exciting?
When you try to change someone, you are creating someone who
We have built something cool, how do we get it to the next level? We are trying to project our version of a perfect partner onto our partner. So we mold, curate and build them up to this person that we think will make us happy but what we don't realize is that fake version is not going to make us happy and us trying to mold them is not going to make them happy, you actually push them away. Changing someone will make them threatened, scared, not good enough. You are creating an unworthy feeling in your partner by saying you should be this or could be this.
3 relationship roles:
Fixer - Self worth is from fixing other people's problems. A project partner. After you play that role, you feel unworthy or feel upset at them and say you didn't grow. Parent role.
Dependent - Walk in and hope your partner will take all your problems away. You're in charge. You lose yourself in the relationship and you let the other person take the lead then you always say "why are you always telling me what to do."
Support says I'm going to help you become what you want to be and I'm going to support you for where you want to go.
Real compassion - what inspires that person, what motivates them
Everyone has different dislikes and likes.
Values - the core of your being.