🌼

Going to try recording my experience & thoughts of being in a QPR here :) she/her/hers | ♰ | 🇵🇭

[an-autistic-archivist]

You see, I’m aware this blog is a bit silly (“why would you want to record that”), but that is because I am silly. There, boom, mic drop. Joking a bit lol; I guess… I want to watch our relationship progress? It might be fun to reread these first few posts when we’re living together.

Since finding out about them, I’ve always thought it would be nice to be in a QPR? I thought it would happen much later in the future (college or something), but here we are, last week of junior year, and I’m officially in a QPR! Technically I should have started this blog earlier, as May 17th is marked in my calendar as “Zucchini Day 🌼.” But better late than never, I suppose.

Anyway, we have plans to move out together after high school for college (but he’s a year younger than me so I’ve got to wait a bit until he joins me; what a loser /j). We’re going to great lengths (that we can at the moment) to ensure our relationship lasts whilst being roommates, talking about boundaries, and all that good stuff.

So, uh. Yeah. Here’s to us? ^^

[an-autistic-archivist]

I’ve been EXPOSED

Squish if you’re reading this in an indeterminate amount of years you can’t make fun of me. Also ily :3

[mypoetrynotebook]

It’s Not Romantic

It’s not romantic.

It’s safety, in a way I’ve never felt.

I flap my hands and clap,

A risk as far as I’m concerned,

And they tell me they love it

Because it means I’m happy.

Not a socially approved,

Peer reviewed,

Passing happiness.

Just happy.

I didn’t even know I’d been lacking that.

It’s not romantic,

But they’re the only one allowed to hold me.

Their touch is safe,

Because they’re safe.

Checking in,

No excuses,

Is this still ok?

Yes, I promise, I’d tell you otherwise,

Because I know your expression won’t turn pained or cold if I do,

God, was I always this touch starved?

Can I hold your hand in the markets,

And link our arms at concerts,

And rest my head on yours

Until it’s time for us to separate again?

It’s not romantic,

But I show them my poetry

And they tell me my words are pretty.

I keep my favourite photos of them in a gallery on my phone.

Messages that make my chest swell,

Or photos of their smile,

I like to keep them in my pocket.

Did you know I never normally miss people?

Tell me what you have done to alter my mind

in such a fundamental way,

But don’t you dare reverse it.

Just let me write my poems about you,

So when they tell me my words are pretty,

I know it’s because they’re a reflection of them.

It’s not romantic,

But I think about our home,

The one we will share.

I ruminate on the dogs, and cats,

And the movies watched,

Curled up on the sofa,

A pizza box next to us.

I tell my mum four years,

Smiling like a lovestruck kid.

She says it feels like it’s been longer.

My mum and dad adore them,

As do my grandma, and grandpa, and sister.

“I never want to get married” was always my insistence,

The concept lost on my aromantic heart.

But still I chose that Avril Lavigne song to play, should I change my mind,

Before I knew my lack of interest wasn’t a choice.

Neither of us are ready for that yet,

But when that song plays they’re all I think about,

Because they’re the only one I could let myself play it for.

And no, it’s not romantic.

I wouldn’t want it if it was.

But I do,

Because it’s not anything but ours.

[an-autistic-archivist]

Guys I sent my zucchini this like “made me think of you” and I think I broke him......

[important-cat-pics]

[jarofwarmdirt]

a really cool thing about being in a masc4masc relationship is when you’re sitting next to each other and manspreading, your legs touch. not a lot of people talk about that, highly recommend

[an-autistic-archivist]

My dad set up a termite shocker so I can hear the bzzt-bzzt every once in a while, and sometimes it becomes prolonged (unsure if that’s due to many termites or something becoming stuck). I wonder if squish would find it funny or annoying.....

[an-autistic-archivist]

We watched the TADC movie!! Also got to hold hands properly ^^

We went to a few stores after, and Spencer’s had queerplatonic rings! I was pretty surprised because it’s one of the more obscure labels, but happy. :)

[an-autistic-archivist]

I want to watch this nature documentary with him....... did you guys know salmons’ bodies begin to decay during spawning season and they can live like that for up to two weeks?

[strawberriescakeandladybugs]

If I were to be in a qpr, realistically I would like it to be with a man (because homophobic family/ culture) but I feel like that is basically impossible as a woman.

The type of qpr I would want would require the intimacy that I feel is best seen in female friendships.

I find the intimacy of a purely platonic female relationship so beautiful and I feel like due to societal factors it can never be fully replicated between a man and woman. At least not easily.

Basically, I wish I could be friends with boys the way I am with girls.

With the same intimacy and intensity. Without the fear of it being taken as anything other than platonic.

I hope this doesn’t come off as bioessentialist bs or anything. Because I do NOT subscribe to that.

[an-autistic-archivist]

I had a dream that squish got his phone back…

[an-autistic-archivist]

WE ARE SO BACK!!1!!!!1!11!

[an-autistic-archivist]

Nevermind, it’s joever… 🥀

[an-autistic-archivist]

WE ARE SO BACK!!!!

[an-autistic-archivist]

I had a dream that squish got his phone back…

[an-autistic-archivist]

WE ARE SO BACK!!1!!!!1!11!

[an-autistic-archivist]

Nevermind, it’s joever… 🥀

[an-autistic-archivist]

I had a dream that squish got his phone back…

[an-autistic-archivist]

WE ARE SO BACK!!1!!!!1!11!

[bitingoffmycollar]

missing ur qpr is so evil

[an-autistic-archivist]

We might be able to meet up on June to watch a movie (with our other friends)! What joy!!

[an-autistic-archivist]

We have contact again!!!! Huzzah!!!

[perfectsensetv]

QPRs are so awkward to form because most of the time its like.. hey have u heard of this type of relationship thats like custom but also dedicated and stuff? no? ok uhh do u want to be in one though? yeah ok? uh i love you, lets play minecraft together tomorrow ok bye

[an-autistic-archivist]

Fun fact: I sent my guy the fucking Wikipedia article on QPRs and was just really awkward like

“Hey. Hey. Do you want to be this Thing with me don’tfeelpressuredtosayyes—”

[convolutedblasphemy]

QPRs are basically homebrewing your relationship. I know what I want but it's far from all guidelines and prerequisites that society has given us. I could email you a PDF though.