an isolated lifeboat

[hillbillyoracle]

This is still to this day one of the most useful videos I’ve ever encountered for anyone who is isolated. It’s focused on the pandemic but if you are socially isolated, geographically isolated, etc - it is still amazing advice. 

Very much recommend watching. 

[an-isolated-lifeboat]

Planning Your Solo Winter Holidays Now

Ahoy! Very long post ahead. I like talking about holidays, what can I say? Apparently a lot....

I’m writing this at the tail end of August. Normally, I like to do my solo Christmas prep in July but this year I just had too much going on so September it is. 

Part of why I like planning my solo Christmas (and other winter holidays) in advance is because in the weeks actually leading up to them, I quickly get too depressed and unmotivated to do anything. It tends to be a time of particularly high conflict between me and my partner, things become more strained with my family, and friends are much too busy to give their usual support. So I’ve learned over the years to start really early for my personal celebrations. 

The additional benefit is that when I get myself stuff this far in advance, I usually forget what it is so it’s a genuine surprise to open in a few months!

This year, the winter holidays I’m planning solo activities for are: 

Advent

Christmas Eve

Christmas Day

New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Day

Epiphany

In this post I’m going to share what I’m doing in the hopes it gives you some ideas for what you can prep now to make your solo holidays a lot more enjoyable and meaningful. I know not everyone celebrates these so take it as a jumping off point. 

General Holiday Planning

Ideally when I plan a holiday I like it to have these four things: 

Holiday specific food

Spiritual activity

Mundane activity

Treat or present

I also generally like to have good music going, a nice scent (perfume, candle, diffuser, etc), and a nice but comfy outfit on but those tend to be less holiday specific and more preferences for holidays generally. For larger holidays, I like to include decoration. I’d like to do it for more holidays but I’m low on space and natural/found décor takes a fair bit of energy at a time when I have little. 

Advent

Since Advent is less of a singular holiday and more of a preparation period, it breaks my mold a little bit. 

Advent Traditions

An old Advent tradition that I’ve started to incorporate is, similar to Lent, I pick something to give up from the first Sunday of Advent until Christmas. This keeps me mindful the whole season long. Consider getting and lighting an advent wreath every night with dinner or just on Sunday evenings leading up to Christmas, either way. Some folks like to make Christmas puddings on Stir-up Sunday - you could go ahead and make sure you have the recipe and box up any shelf stable supplies so it’s all together. 

Advent Calendars

For Advent calendars, I used to like getting some candy and incorporating it into my personal advent calendar but my food allergies make that hard to navigate at the moment so I’ll probably leave that out personally but it’s fun and you should try it if you’re able. 

If when we can manage it, I like to do a compliment calendar with my partner. We cut up some stiff paper, make/number 25 little cards, and write compliments to each other in in them. When we’ve made them all we usually washi tape them up in the shape of a Christmas tree. One year when my partner was working longer hours, she kept them in a box in her desk at work and would open one each morning. If you don’t have a partner to swap with, ask a friend or family member. Can be done at a distance too. 

For my personal ones, I’ve tried the complimenting myself but it can feel...more odd than enjoyable so I usually pick something else. I’ve made some with quotes - that one really depends on the quotes you select. I tried jokes one year and enjoyed that one. Other ideas for written ones I’ve had are journaling prompts to fill out, fun facts/trivia questions, and paper puzzles like sudokus. 

One idea I might try is putting together one of my big puzzles (1000 piece), breaking it into 25 sections, bagging it up, and then doing each days section throughout December. Consider finding or making your own readalong, whether that’s a the Biblical Christmas Story, Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Story, or your favorite holiday cozy read. 

I wouldn’t worry too much about presentation. Something is better than nothing. Believe me, when you can just pull out a box of Advent goodies come December - you’re going to be glad regardless of how it looks.

Christmas Decorations

One year, I got a very small Christmas tree, decorated the whole thing, and put it back in the box until Christmas. I figured if I wanted to redecorated it come then, it wouldn’t be hard to take everything off and redo it. Come that Advent, I was so thankful I didn’t have to decorate the whole thing from scratch because I didn’t have it in me. 

So my advice is pick a few easy decorations and if you want to do more later, you can do more later. 

Grab a string of Christmas lights you can pin up in the shape of a Christmas tree. Grab some bulldog clips and maybe take a little time to make some origami Christmas ornaments, calligraphy some Christmas words, or collect some Christmas photos you can clip up on it. 

Pre-decorate your tree. Make a wreath from Dollar Tree supplies. Prep a little manger scene or Christmas village. Grab a Christmasy candle for your stove. 

--Whatever would make Christmas a little more fun and real to you, grab or make it now and make sure it’ll be easy and simple to put up come Advent (or whenever you put up your decorations. 

Advent/Christmas Bucket List

It might seem super early to make your winter bucket list but I know me and when the stress is piling up, I need at least one to-do list that’s fun. Bonus if I don’t have to use the executive functioning to make it. I’m always grateful to past me (so long as I kept it reasonable)

What movies would you like to watch?

What activities would you like to do? 

Any foods you’d particularly like to make?

Grab any supplies that won’t go bad before then and put them all together so you can just grab it when you’re ready to mark some items off. If you’d like to send cards but don’t have anyone to send them to or would just like to do a few extra - consider signing up for Letters Against Isolation and sending some seniors a few nice cards. 

Christmas

Christmas Eve

Food: Cookies and cider

Spiritual: Plate some cookies and cider for ancestors + spirits, leave somewhere with note; attend a Christmas Mass with partner if able (virtually these days)

Mundane: Eat cookies, drink cider, listen to Christmas lofi and read a book late into the night

Treat: Buy myself a new book on Kindle

I like to keep Christmas Eve pretty low key. The main prep I like to do here is come up with a list of possible books to buy myself cause if I don’t then I psych myself out and don’t buy one. Ideally I like to bake the cookies and steep the cider myself but if it’s getting close to Christmas and it’s seeming like that might not work out, I buy some cookies instead. Then I’ll microwave my cider and steep a mug for me and a mug for the spirits. 

Christmas Day

Food: Pizza with hot sauce; after years of low energy Christmases, this became our tradition - also in part because I usually put hot sauce in my partner’s stocking. If conflict is high, it’s still easy to make individually. 

Spiritual: Sometimes go to Christmas Day mass with partner, otherwise I try to get a meditation session in. Sometimes I’ll give the ancestors + spirits another round of food. 

Mundane: Go for a run or a hike, complete items from my Christmas bucket list, play solo rpgs and tabletop games - things that keep me off my phone; mini spa day - soak feet, paint nails, do a mask.

Treat: Open presents, if my partner has gotten some for me, we usually open those together but I always make sure to get myself some presents too because well, things happen. 

So the part that I prep now are my presents. I set a budget - this year is around $50 - and grab some things and wrap them. When I had less money, I’d go to the Dollar Tree and fill a stocking for myself with they set out Christmas stuff in like October. Their puzzles aren’t terrible for the money and they’ve really expanded their book and craft section. Consider looking at other bargain stores like Ollie’s and Gabe’s. You can wait until Black Friday deals roll around if you want but I’ve learned I’m usually burnout by then. 

I try to stay off of my phone and away from screens generally on Christmas because it’s too tempting to look on social media and it really really bums me out. I might make an exception to this if I ever get an-isolated-lifeboat discord server set up so I can hang out with fellow solo folks like myself but barring that I’ll likely stick to my screen fast. 

I’m also going to prep by putting in a reminder to prep the pizza stuff a week ahead of time because I can’t prep it this far out and I can’t eat frozen pizzas anymore thanks to my allergies. 

New Years

New Year’s Eve

Food: black eyed peas, greens, and cornbread; sparkling cider

Spiritual: year ahead tarot pulls and astrology forecasts

Mundane: gratitude jar, go through old photos, stay up and watch the countdown, hot tub?

Treat: bouquet of white roses

The gratitude jar is something I’m starting this year and it’s the main thing I’m prepping. For the rest of the year, I’m going to be writing down things I’m grateful for or really pleasant solo memories I made and sticking them in a jar. On New Years Eve, I’ll pull them out and relive them. 

Normally I would also prep stuff for a really nice long bath but my parent’s house has no bathtubs. So that’s out. They have an old hot tub that may or may not be useable then. Failing all that, I’ll at least do a nice long foot soak. 

I’ll be putting in a reminder to get roses a few day before. I usually let them dry and include them in rituals the whole year long.

New Year’s Day

Food: leftovers, I like to make sure I eat it both days

Spiritual: offering to spirits of fate and fortune, house spirits especially

Mundane: go for a walk/hike, work on themes/goals for the new year

Treat: still the bouquet; order my digital astrology 

I’m not sure if anyone else feels this way, but New Year’s Day always felt like a little bit of a let down after New Year’s Eve. I’m still trying to figure out how to make it feel like more of a moment but luckily none of it will require much prep. 

Epiphany

Food: spice cake, Indian or similarly spice forward food

Spiritual: chalk the door (20 + C + M + B + 23), ward the house

Mundane: put away Christmas decorations, write a note that I’ll open next advent when I get the decorations back out

Treat: spice cake

So I didn’t grow up celebrating Epiphany. I was introduced to it by my Catholic partner. It wasn’t big in her family but it was at least more of a thing. I’ve grown to really love it in the years since I began celebrating it. The Three Wise Men where always one of my favorite parts of the original Christmas Story. 

It’s still a pretty low key holiday but I like to bake some spice cake - or barring that buy some spice cookies - and make the blah task of putting decorations away a more festive and meaningful experience. 

Luckily it’s another one that doesn’t require much prep. I already have blessed chalk (well chalk pen), my go to spice cake recipe and box cake mix, and pen and paper.

Conclusion

So this post was really long but when I was first trying to figure out how to do holidays in a more solo oriented way it really took some thinking to come up with traditions that weren’t only fun with other people. I really recommend sticking to things you know you genuinely enjoy doing and not things you only do because it’s a given holiday. I hope this gives you a jumping off point. 

If you do nothing else, grab yourself some holiday treats now and wrap them up. You deserve nice things and future you will thank you!

[hybridcalisthenics]

You CAN do pullups, my friend!

Gym Rings: https://hybridcalisthenics.com/rings Free DIY Rings (Save Money): https://hybridcalisthenics.com/DIYrings

[saint-batrick]

i adore this guy. he’s got such chill energy, and gives clear information on multiple levels of an exercise. i’m disabled and largely bedridden, and having someone that tells you where to start without being condescending in ANY way is…much harder to find than it should be.

[an-isolated-lifeboat]

Highly recommend Hybrid Calisthenics. I’m also disabled but need to build muscle so I don’t dislocate joints as often and his routine has been by far the most accessible and doable out of any I’ve found. 

[hillbillyoracle]

Tiny Notion page you can copy into your workspace with a list of solitaire games divided by type and # of decks needed. I also listed my favorites. Hope this helps someone!

Not sure how long this page will work - my other Notion template I linked to started not working after a while - so if this interests you go check it out! 

I spent a lot of the pandemic trialing new-to-me solitaire games and they’ve really kept me sane during a dark time. I hope this makes it a little easier for someone to find the game that brings them peace! 

[coffeeseed]

God, I can't tell you how much the "there's not enough enrichment in my enclosure" joke has helped my mental health. Because, for some reason I can't comprehend, pretending that I'm a zoo keeper caring for an animal (which is also me) just makes everything easier to comprehend. Like "Your head gets screwey when you're apartment is messy" just doesn't carry as much resonance as "The tiger becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered" because then I'll be like, no shit? The tiger? I've gotta keep things nice and clean for the tiger.

[an-isolated-lifeboat]

🌎🌿 your regular dose of anti-doomerism 🌿🌎

there is some wild momentum going on for genuine climate action

[an-isolated-lifeboat]

Taming Paper Chaos

Something I think comes with being home more is you wind up seeing your mess more and that takes a toll when it is literally your only place to be. One thing that I struggled with for years that I finally have seemed to turn a corner on is paper clutter. While I have most things on paperless, there’s always still papers that I need to organize, whether because I have to keep a hard copy or those things that just don’t have paperless options. 

Note: If you don’t have your own place, I have options for bedroom and backpack options further down.

My System

I looked at A LOT of paper organization systems over the years and the one I’ve settled on is mostly inspired by the Minimal Mom on YouTube. One main difference is I have to keep my action items visual or I will absolutely forget them. 

I also don’t have “long term files” the way she does. I’m not sure why but it’s not really been relevant in my life. Perhaps because I don’t have kids and am not likely to be able to own a house.

A note - do not put this in your ideal place. Put this where people are dumping all their papers anyways. That’s usually going to be a flat surface, so try to find or make a vertical one right near it. 

With that in mind, here is my system. 

Pretty underwhelming right? But let’s talk about the components. The most visual part are my action items which I clip to the front of the fridge. All items get tagged with the task associated with them. This is...so key. Before I’d clip things up and it felt like it would take forever to deal with so I avoided them. Now I realize most paper items really only require one or two tasks at most to deal with and I’m keep the executive functioning of deciding what to do separate from the executive functioning of deciding when to do it. 

I also don’t fuck with due dates anymore. I just date them with the date they went up on the fridge so I can see how much time has elapsed. As you can see, this one has become a stuck task. I don’t feel too guilty about it because I know I’m working through the wall of awful around it and I’ll get to it when I can. I clear most things by the end of the week they go up. Anything that stays longer than a month - probably a stuck task. 

My items get clipped to the right side of the fridge and get green post it notes and my partner’s get clipped to the left side and get purple post it notes. That way it’s very easy to see who has what task and I don’t feel like I need to nag because it’s very clear, that’s hers and it’s her decision how to handle it. I don’t need to worry about it. 

I also use the post it notes to request her to do non routine tasks I need her to do (lifting things so I don’t throw out my back, maintenance she’s qualified to do but I’m not, etc). It cuts down on nagging because she sees it when she sees it and can decide to do it whenever she feels like it. She generally prefers to texts her requests of me which I’m fine with. 

Next is the time will tell bin. Coupons you’re not sure you’re gonna use - they go here. Catalogs you might order from - also go here. Can’t think of the next steps with an item but you figure you probably shouldn’t throw it out - put it here. 

The idea with this bin is that is that you go through it every so often, either as if gets full or at regularly scheduled intervals. You see what’s expired, what’s out of season, what’s no longer important to you and you toss those things out. At some point you’ll get tired of seeing something every time you go through it and probably toss it. Or you won’t and it’s fine because it’s contained in this little bin. 

The rule with this bin though is that you can only keep what fits in this bin. If it’s piled up to the point where it’s falling out on the sides, you gotta find something that’s less interesting or relevant to you to get rid of. 

Last is the important documents folder. This is for ID documents, legal documents, taxes, housing information like current and past leases, etc. This one was supposed to be very bright green so it would be easy to spot and direct people to in an emergency buuut the seller did not send what was pictured and I’m making do with this until I can swap it out. I sit it under the time will tell bin so it’s easy to file things when I’m sorting mail. 

If you only have a room...

If you’re in a dorm, living with roommates, or staying with family, you probably don’t have a big fridge to use to clip up action items. You could swap it for something like a bulletin board but I’m partial to wall grids like this and bulldog clips. You can attach them with removeable wall hooks so they’re very dorm/renter friendly. If you’re short on space you can even put one up on the back of a door. 

I still think it’s important to tag the paper items with the task associated with them and the date you put it up. Some grids have options for bins for pens and the like which would accommodate some post it notes as well, that way you can keep them close at hand. 

That takes care of your action items and the rest can stay the same. Find a spot on a shelf for your time will tell bin and important document folder. Set a reminder to go through it as often as you’d like to if it’s some place you will not easily see it fill up. 

If you’re very mobile...

If you’re very mobile, whether that’s for work or you don’t have a stable living situation or perhaps you’re young and you’re going between the houses of parents who’ve separated each week, you still have options. 

For your action items, I recommend a clear pocket folder with a zip so things don’t get lost and you can clearly see when it has items in it. I’d recommend putting the most urgent item at the front so it stays top of mind. You can keep some post its and a pen in the folder itself and make a rule to tag things with their action before you put it in the folder. 

For your time will tell bin, I’d probably use an opaque pocket folder with a zip. I don’t need to see what’s in it. If I need it, I’ll go looking for it and I’ll clear through it at least once a month anyways. If you get catalogs occasionally, it should be big enough to accommodate those - one of the main things that gets stuck in my time will tell bin especially in spring. It does mean you’ll have less space than a bin so you’ll probably have to churn through it quicker. 

You could also opt for a small accordion folder that isn’t brightly colored - to contrast with your important docs folder. I’d personally worry that that’d make me feel like I needed to sort things into categories which would slow me down and overwhelm me so I probably wouldn’t opt for that. But if that works better for you, go for it! 

And your important documents folder once again would stay the same - brightly colored accordion folder with tabs for personal ID docs, taxes, health records, etc. 

Since these are less visual, it’s extra important to set a reminder on your phone or calendar to nudge you to check them. I’d check the action folder at least once a week and I’d check the the time will tell bin whenever it starts getting full or monthly. Ideally whenever you’re setting up at a place, I’d keep them in a visual place, but I also get sometimes you’re moving literally everyday and that might be a hassle. Use your judgment. 

If you’ve got a backpack with a laptop pocket, consider getting a laptop sleeve for your computer and using the pocket for keeping your paper system in place. Keep it and your planner or bullet journal all in one place and you’ll always know where to look or in an emergency, where to direct people to. 

Flow

You have a document that you know isn’t trash. 

Is it important?

>>> If yes, is it urgent/requires action?

>>>>>> If yes, tag it with an action and today’s date. Put with action items.

>>>>>>If no, file in important documents folder.

>>> If no or I don’t know, put in time will tell bin. 

What About...

...school work?

Personally, depending on the amount of paper I’m getting from school, I’d probably just file it according to this system. Tag action items. Time will tell. Important docs - maybe a section for syllabi. I’d also probably use it mostly as an intermediary - digitize what needs digitized, get tasks into my task system (bullet journal; collections). 

But it really depends on what kind of school work you’re doing as to whether that would work. If you’re doing courses that are very paper heavy, an additional system for that work specifically might be needed. 

…receipts, more extensive financial files?

That is not my bag. I avoid that shit like the plague. Check out this video for mid and long term filing options. 

If you’re dealing with someone’s affairs after they’ve passed away, I highly recommend making a separate system (action, time will tell, important docs) for those items as they’re draining to see mixed in with your day to day items. Consider setting up a system like I describe for people who are very mobile and keeping it near by your main system so it’s easy put things where they need to go but you don’t have to look at it all the time. 

...children’s art work?

Memory boxes are great, for you and for kids. Check out this video. 

...schedules, papers I need to reference?

Tag schedules with a post it reminder to put the dates in your calendar, then toss (or scan and toss). For information you need to reference, use a scanner app on your phone to digitize it and attach to a calendar item if relevant or file with digital references. 

[an-isolated-lifeboat]

Experiment: Building a Stress Box

There are a lot of names for these sorts of set ups - sensory needs boxes, anxiety box, distress tolerance box - all somewhat different based on the items used and guiding philosophies. For my first pass at this I wanted to focus on sensory needs but also make other tools that I already know help when I need some enrichment in my enclosure. 

So why make one? Honestly because it something I just haven’t tried yet. My sleep schedule is starting to oscillate again so I’ve been getting up later and staying up later. And especially after midnight, I’ve been getting almost...psychologically itchy even if I like whatever it is I’m doing. In the past, this would have been prime middle of the night food time. But lately if I eat too late, I’ve been getting an upset stomach, that’s been a no go.

So I thought it would be a good chance to test out some new sensory tools as well as make other calming tools a little more accessible to pull out more often. 

While sensory needs most often get talked about in the context or autism and ADHD, everyone has them. A group that has high sensory needs and is often over looked are people who have or are currently experiencing trauma. Which is all of us. Whether it’s the pandemic generally, isolation, financial stress, or other factors - it’s impossible to overstate the toll this is taking on everyone. 

Sensory needs are one of those sets of needs that I think a lot of people overlooked at the beginning of the pandemic in favor of “staying busy” but as people look at isolating again, I think it’s worth revisiting. The goal of this experiment is to put together a fairly cheap box of sensory + self regulation tools and see both how often I used it and the pros/cons of each tool. In a couple weeks I’ll come back to this post and try to write an update. 

But I wanted to cover what I bough and the logic behind each tool. Both so other folks can see my thinking and I can see later how well it held up in practice. Note that none of the links are affiliate links but they do generally lead to Amazon. I spent about $30 for the sensory tools but split most of them with my partner. So if you’ve got someone you can pool your resources with it helps because it’s hard to get solo quantities.  

First I’ll cover the tools I already which are the more self regulation type tools: 

100 Piece Puzzle - Really love this one from New York Puzzle Company. It’s sturdy and satisfying. Doing a puzzle when I’m stressed has been really helpful and the mini puzzles are the best because I don’t have to commit to the activity for like the 3 hours it takes me to do a 500 piece one. I can usually get a 100 piece one done in under an hour. The pattern matching is soothing and there’s no ambiguity in what done looks like. I put it in here because it’s my favorite at the moment. 

Other options for puzzles: 

3 Mini Puzzles in Tubes: I have this set and like it a lot. The pieces are very very small making it more difficult but also more portable. They have lots of options. Image quality isn’t amazing but I love them for the price and function. 

3 Mini Bird Puzzles: A step up in quality from the puzzle tubes and they have normal piece sizes. Great for the price. Not quite as nice as the New York Puzzle Company ones but a great middle of the road option.

I also have decent ones I’ve grabbed at the Dollar Store.

Sleepy Sudoku - I think these are machine generated but hand checked. I’m not totally sure. But so far I’ve enjoyed this collection of Sudokus. The mediums run a little hard to me but I’m also way out of practice and I’m relearning the techniques again. 

Other similar options: 

The Modern Cottage Collection Coloring Book: works best with colored pencils which I don’t have at the moment. Markers work okay. Might at it to the box at some point. 

USA Today Crossword: Tough but satisfying little book of crossword puzzles.

I’ve previously picked up puzzle books from the Dollar Store and Ollie’s.

Second are the more sensory oriented tools I included: 

Kinetic Sand - one of the first things I added. I really liked this stuff as a kid and I was really craving something I just just stick my hands in. When I parsed 1/3rd out for my partner though I noticed she was picking it up and just watching it fall - a visual stim. So it seems like it could be good for that too. My one reservation with this is the weird smell. I’m not sure if it’ll be enough to put me off of it - we’ll see. 

Floam - I was honestly just curious about this one. I hadn’t gotten to play with it much when I was a kid but the texture really appealed to me. When I pulled it out though, it was tougher to mold than I remembered. My partner really liked it as she has much stronger grip strength. I took two for my box and gave to to her. 

Pop It - I’ve seen these so many places and wanted to try it. So far I’m a little underwhelmed but I think it has the potential to grow on me. I just wish it had a little more resistance to it. My partner and I stood in the kitchen popping shapes in and out of the boards so clearly we found it engaging enough. 

Thinking Putty - This one I went out on a limb for but it is by far my favorite of everything I got so far. I only got a mini because I wasn’t sure if I’d like it and it’s not the cheapest, but holy crap it’s so satisfying to use. I sat there in the kitchen playing with it, putting it up, and pulling it back out again. It was a little hard to open the first time, really sticky, but cleaned up easily. I’m already planning on getting more. 

There are somethings I might add to my box that I already have:

Deck of Cards - I already keep two sets in my game bag but I think moving one to this box would be a nice way to remind myself to use them to calm down. I like playing solitaire in the evenings to unwind already so maybe it would be good for destressing at other times. 

Rubik’s Cube - I got this in my stocking a few Christmas’s ago and I still haven’t learned to solve it but it’s real fun to just mess around with. I think especially if I took the time to learn it then it’d be very helpful in here. 

I’ll know if the experiment is a success if I like using it and helps me regulate through spikes in my anxiety. I’m most interested to see what it’s like using these in front of other people whether the ones I live with or over Zoom. I’ve been getting more dysregulated in social situations than I used to so I’m wondering if I can overcome any resistance I feel to using them during and not just after. I’m especially interested to see if it helps on low energy days. 

I’ll be back in a few weeks to give any updates and I hope this sparks some ideas for other folks! 

[hillbillyoracle]

Getting Started with Solo RPGs

I’ve gotten a few requests to talk more about how to play solo rpgs and especially in light of all the recent news + predictions of a recession, I really wanted to make this hobby more accessible to folks. It is, by it’s nature, a very cheap hobby. There are many free resources you can make use of. You can get started in it for under $20. And it’s hours of fun once you find what you really like. 

Materials

You don’t need much. Some folks play completely for free using online dice rollers, card pickers, free word processing, and free rule sets. However I personally recommend: 

Full Polyhedral Dice Set - Make sure it has 2d10 dice so you can make use of d100 tables. Most game shops will have sets in the ~$10 range and sometimes lower. If your only option is the retailer who shall not be named, you can get them even cheaper there (though quality varies more).  Extra d6 dice can be helpful as well (I usually keep 6-8 in my bag).

Deck of Cards - Many solo resources use decks of cards to generate action. Most seem to use playing cards but more and more are using tarot decks. So I recommend at least having a cheap Bicycle deck to use. 

Pencil and Paper - I most often find myself playing with pencil and paper if I’m not using a word processor. Don’t under estimate cheap dollar store notebooks and pencils. They work just fine. Alternatively, a small white board to write down rolls and outcomes before recording the events in a notebook is also a great way to play. These can also be picked up cheap at the Dollar Store. 

Access to a printer - Local libraries are a godsend in this regard. Once you find a ruleset you like, it can be really nice to be able to print them off. Some libraries and print shops also have options to laminate which is a boon for character sheets. 

Types of Solo RPG Rulesets

Terminology in solo rpgs isn’t as settled as it is for multiplayer ones so you might not see others use all the same words I use. But in general, these are the categories I see most when looking for games. 

Be Your Own GM

This is the style that a lot of people think about when they think of solo rpgs. Essentially you take a ruleset and you create a player character and switch back and forth between acting as the GM and the player character. This provides the greatest freedom with regard to crunch and genre but it is also quite a bit of work and isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. 

If you want to try this but don’t already have a ruleset you particularly like, look for simple flexible systems that easy to learn and can be used for multiple genres. Though yes, you can use D&D. There are some rulesets that specifically include solo playthrough rules. 

Ruleset Recommendations: 

One Sheet Rules (Free, 1 page, simplified Old School Rules, n00b friendly)

Fate Accelerated (Pay What You Want, PDF or Book, n00b friendly)

Quest (PDF is free, books vary, n00b friendly)

Ironsworn (PDF or Book, price varies, solo rules included)

Alone in the Dark (PDF or Book, price varies, specifically solo)

d100 Dungeon (PDF or Book, price varies, specifically solo) 

Mork Borg (Book, ~$30, dark art punk rpg easily made solo)

Story Driven + Rules Lite

These rules sets tend to be more highly thematic, making them less flexible for multiple different kinds of adventures but have more structure.  These are often a series of prompts and structured as journaling or epistolary games. You’re not having to switch between GMing and playing your player character because the dice rolls or card flips give you the constraints you’re working with rather than you in the GM role. 

These are a nice way to have a character go on a genuine journey while not having to design or generate the whole thing yourself. Good for when you want a story driven game but are running low on brain power. 

Ruleset Recommendation: 

Over the Mountain (Free, 1 page, by yours truly)

Alone Among the Stars (Pay What You Want, PDF, many variations) 

The Adventurer ($5, PDF, Flip and Write) 

Thousand Year Old Vampire ($15 for PDF, book available)

The Quiet Year (PDF or Kit, price varies) 

Journey (PDF or book, price varies) 

Dice Heavy + Story Lite

Unfortunately I don’t know of a lot of games in this category despite it being one of my absolute favorites. In general, these games are going to focus on dice rolls for both generating and resolving conflict. Their story rests mostly in their theme. Most tend to be high chance and a little grindy. But sometimes all you want to do at the end of the day is turn your brain off and roll some dice over and over. 

Ruleset Recommendations: 

Pocket Delver (Free, 1 page)

crawl space (Free, business card) 

Pokemon Polyhedral (Free, 1 a6 page, by yours truly)

Oracles

Especially for Be Your Own GM games, oracles are a very helpful and even necessary tool to determine outcomes of your player character’s actions. Many solo variations will include their own but for rulesets that are multiplayer in nature, you have a few options. 

“My solo RPG wallet revealed” by Geek Gamers - shows a lot of simpler oracles and cites where they’re from. Good for seeing multiple different kinds and getting a feel for which may or may not work for you. 

Mythic Game Master Emulator by Word Mill - Very popular among solo gamers though I’ve not gotten the chance to use it. Lots of reviews to look up for playthrough examples.

Generator

Generators aren’t necessary but very helpful for taking the mental load off of Be Your Own GM games. There are many free options but this is also where solo gamers can start to really spend money so choose wisely. Too many and you’ll get bogged down figuring out which tables to roll on and get distracted from play. Recommend not using more than 3 supplements per game. 

It’s a whole rabbit hole and there are lots of review videos. So just to get you started:

r/d100 - a subreddit where people share their d/100 tables they’ve made, use the search function to look for ones that specifically would be useful to you and your game.

“Indie RPGs and supplements” by Geek Gamers - covers multiple different kinds of RPG supplements and reviews them.

Gen:Hex - shameless plug. A small generator I made last year - free, a6

TL;DR + Quick Start

For those looking to get started quickly

Want to be your own GM? 

One Sheet Rules

Gen:Hex

Want a story heavy + rules lite game?

Alone Among the Stars

Want a dice heavy + story lite game?

Pocket Delver

Hope this helps a few folks. It’s a great hobby and I’ve greatly enjoyed it over the last two years. I’ll try to reply to questions as I’m able to in comments so feel free to leave any! 

[an-isolated-lifeboat]

“Isolation Activities” versus Isolation as Lifestyle

When people ask me how long I’ve been isolating I usually say something like February 2020. But in all honesty, I hadn’t been leaving the house much at all for about 3 years prior. In 2017, I became quite ill and it quickly escalated to the point where I dropped out of college and couldn’t really drive more than a few minutes from my house. 

So as I reflect on five years of isolation and see news of ever more infectious variants, it’s really interesting to look back at what people’s ideas of “isolation activities” were at the beginning of the pandemic. I searched for “isolation activities” on YouTube and found video after video of long lists of activities to do “when you’re bored” or “how to fill your time”. A couple videos come up for people who are quarantining after testing positive with a lot of the same tips.  Even now, it seem to be how people talk about it - pandemic hobbies, pandemic relationships, etc.

I...don’t completely know how to feel about people thrust into isolation thinking their biggest issue would be “filling their time” but it does touch some sort of nerve for me. There’s a reason why I regularly talked to friends who were like “I’ve tried all the “pandemic things” and I’m still really depressed” and who immediately went back to life as normal after getting vaccinated. I personally think that reason is people think their needs are one way when they’re actually quite different. 

The only good video on the topic I saw come out early in the pandemic was CPG Grey’s Spaceship You video. Which isn’t really a surprise considering in a later video he talked about he and is wife often lock down for flu season each year because of her health concerns. And it’s clear from the video that he gets it because he doesn’t give a list of activities - he addresses core needs all humans have and talks about researched back ways to address them. 

It’s one I’ve come back to time and time again when I get into a slump and without fail, there’s some part of it I’ve let go. Either I’ve slacked off on exercise or I’m not maintaining my sleep station or I stopped setting my alarm. And without fail, when I go back to following the advice, I gradually feel better and better about my life. 

It got me thinking about how many people looked at isolation as a temporary issue to get through and not what it effectively was - a lifestyle change. And for many of us - that’s still our life. And for a lot of people, it’s about to become their life again. 

This is all just a long winded way to say that if you’ve been isolated for a while or just coming back to it and you feel like you should be better at it than you are - the vast majority of the advice out there doesn’t address the specific needs that come up during isolation. So you’re probably doing the best you can in the absence of quality information. But it’s also worth shifting your thinking from “how do I get through this” to “how do I make this sustainable”. 

I know people don’t like thinking that way because it means admitting that this could go on for a long time - but that’s reality. It was already reality for disabled and elderly folks everywhere. The virus only brought that into the consciousness of people who weren’t already aware of that reality. 

I’m hoping to use this blog as a repository and resource for isolation lifestyle advice, resources, and maybe even community. I wanted to establish the perspective I’m writing from - as someone who’s life will quite possibly never again resemble normal. I still firmly believe I deserve to thrive as much as I’m able - dandelion in the sidewalk style. 

So consider this kind of a “what this space” post and I’m sending all you fellow isolated lifeboats out there best wishes.