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@theseriesofunfortunateevents
Tumblr should have a feature where every anon has a tenth of a percent chance to be de-anonymized. First because I think a 1/1000 chance would be too high a risk for most people sending hate. Second because it would be very funny.
"SURVIVING"
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Hiding who you are can feel like chains slowing you down until they drag you under. I'm always odd, tatted older guy in college right now. If people don't like me, they have their own whole lives. I'm happy with the people who accept me.
i hope my absence gives you the peace my love never could
- dee
Blind people must save a lot on electricity.
They do actually!
I had a blind professor, last semester, and I swung through his office to make up an exam. It was a while before I knew he was in there because he was sitting with the lights off. I finally went in, apologized, and took the exam by the light of a nearby window (which was fine). Forty-five minutes into dead silence he panicked and yelled in this booming voiced, âWAIT, YOU CAN SEE!!!â before diving across his desk to turn on the lights. Iâm sure he was embarrassed but I thought it was endearing and it highlighted a large aspect of disabled life that I hadnât previously considered.
Sort of relatedly I once had professor who was deaf, but she had learned to read lips and speak so she could communicate easily with hearing people who didnât know sign language. One day she had gotten off topic and was talking a little about her personal life, so that one of the students said âOh, I know, I grew up in Brooklyn too.âÂ
She stared at him for a long time and then said âHow do you know Iâm from Brooklyn?â
And he said âYou have a Brooklyn accent.â
She said âI do?â and the whole class nodded, and then she burst out laughing and said âI had no idea! The school where I learned to speak was in Brooklyn. I learned by moving my mouth and tongue the way my teachers did. So I guess it makes sense that I have their accent, I just never thought about it.â
My moms a sign language interpreter, and sheâs signed with people from all over the US. According to her, when she signs with people from the south they sign with a âdrawl.â They have slower hand movements and exaggerate certain parts of the sign. People from the Midwest sign very fast and people from the south sign very slow.
So we were at a restaurant once and my mom started interpreting for someone who was trying to order and she was like âoh youâre from the south!â
And they were like âhow did you know that?â
And she said âyou sign with a drawl.â And they were really surprised that it came through that much.
Itâs really interesting that even when not speaking verbally accents and heritage come through.
Humans are so fucking fascinating
Curious Zelda
https://twitter.com/curiouszelda
https://www.instagram.com/curiouszelda/
She does looks like she would speak in rhyme then disappear into the woods
These live rent-free in my head.
I learned a new concept
Graceful degradation is the ability of a computer, machine, electronic system or network to maintain limited functionality even when a large portion of it has been destroyed or rendered inoperative. The purpose of graceful degradation is to prevent catastrophic failure. (Tech Target, first result on the search engine)
Literal opposite of planned obsolescence. I love you graceful degradation.
Oh neat the first time I heard of the concept the guy described it to me as "catastrophic functionality".
He was talking about it in the context of designing robots that would go in and stop nuclear reactor meltdowns, something that would 100% destroy the robot, but they would be designed to keep functioning and fighting the meltdown for as long as possible. He had some designs where over 80% of the robot has died and it was functionally dragging its corpse around by its one working arm because one more minute of functionality might save thousands.
I've been having a few bad years mental health wise, and thinking about those robots a lot .
had a dream last night where I took a uquiz called âwhat do you serve?â and at first the questions were standard but as the quiz progressed they became more and more highly specific to me personally and the answers became more and more similar and I realised the quiz Knew me and was forcing me into being honest by giving me no other option so I tried to click out but it just went to the next question which was âare you the spider? or are you the web?â and it had an option for each but I didnât click either so it then turned to a text box and I typed âI think Iâm the flyâ and the quiz paused for a while and then took me to a results page that said âyou serve truthâ and the description just read âwhat you know will kill you but you will die laughingâ so like. good morning everyone I guess :/
OP I think the devil visited you in your sleep
âWhat you know will kill you but you will die laughingâ needs to be added to that list of profound statements from unlikely sources.
Imagine an alien sharing a cool human fact they just learned like âhey guys did you know that the silvery markings on humans actually arenât true stripes? Theyâre called stretch marks, they happen when the human is growing fast enough to actually outgrow their skin, which is apparently something that just fucking happens to almost all of them at some point of their life.â
and another one is like âwait so youâre saying humans donât have stripes.â
âactually they do, but the stripes are invisible. Thereâs genetic code thatâd give them stripes but theyâre just the same colour as the rest of the skin. So the visible stripes are not real stripes and the real stripes are invisible.â
âI swear if you tell me one more weird human thing today Iâm beating your ass.â
The human in the room looks up and goes "Wait I have stripes?"
"what do you mean cats can see them, but I can't?"
what do you fucking mean cats can see them
I WENT THROUGH THE SAME THOUGHT PROCESS
MY CAT THINKS I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!?
NO NO ITS NOT "IT THINKS I HAVE THEM"
BECAUSE WE DO APPARENTLY
SO ITS ACTUALLY A VERY DISTRESSED "MY CAT THINKS I KNOW I HAVE STRIPES?!?!?!"
AND I THINK THATS A BIT WORSE TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST
MY CAT KNEW I HAD STRIPES BEFORE I DID?!?!?!?!?!?
I DIDNT THINK OF THAT
WELL I DID AND NOW I CANT UNTHINK IT
@beenovel @messiambrandybuck these are the variants
WHAT
apparently there's a disease where they become visable, and these are the most common kind??
Ngl it looks cool but???? I'm still in shock tbh
I NEED TO KNOW WHAT PATTERN OF STRIPES I HAVE AND THE CATS WON'T TELL ME
I COULD HAVE A CHECKERBOARD ON MY BACK AND NO ONE WOULD KNOW???
Theyâre called Blaschko's lines!!!
The reverse can also be true ... kinda.
I remember reading somehwre the human eye can see more shades of green than any other colour. I just googled it and the human eye can see 10 Million different shades of green.
So human could see stripes and patterns on, say, a reptillian race who maybe canât see as many colours as we do, and think theyâre just one boring shade of green.
Human: We have stripes?! I wish I could see them. I hope they look like yours.
Reptile Alien: Wait, I HAVE STRIPES!
*mutual excitement all around*
streaming companies will say um we're increasing your subscription fee. no password sharing. no screenshots allowed. please subscribe to a separate channel for this movie and another for this tv show. free trial but put in your card details so we can charge you if you forget to cancel. this title is a rental only that's 4.99 please. this title is not available in your region. you are begging people to torrent at this point Like ye are off the edge of the map matey here there be pirates argh argh argh đŚâ ď¸
being a pepper plant has to be so weird.
Imagine evolving capsaicin specifically to stop mammals from eating your fruits, and then a mammal comes along that not only will eat your fruits, but likes them specifically because of the capsaicin, so much that it starts using its weird paws to distribute and care for your seeds, which turns into a strong selective force that literally starts evolving you into producing MORE capsaicin and makes you a WAY more successful and wider ranged species than you ever were before
simply because this mammal LOVES Pain Chemical. that evolved specifically to produce pain in mammals. It's not that the capsaicin isn't WORKING. It's just that these freaks like it.
This is the same mammal with social instincts so goddamn strong that they literally try to form social bonds with their predators, and end up evolving the predators into a new species that fits into their social communities as a form of mutualistic symbiosis, and exists in several different forms with unique morphology and behaviors based on the function they perform.
Instead of, I don't know, EVOLVING TO BE FASTER, this animal finds a faster animal and sits on it. Which shouldn't even work because the faster animal is a prey animal and this animal is a predator, but SOMEHOW they FORM A SOCIAL BOND WITH THE PREY. So they can sit on it while it runs fast. And somehow the prey animal?? is cool with this?? and benefits from this relationship???
Literally how can you hate humans. Humans are possibly the most hilarious thing evolution has ever done.
other things humans have done
eat poison plants, decide they like getting poisoned, and evolve the plants to poison them more
evolve to not have hair, but they find mammals with thick fluffy hair and put the hair on themselves, and evolve the mammals to produce extra hair so they can both have a warm coat of hair
split up their parasitic lice species into two separate species because they start taking other animals' hair and putting it on themselves so much
learn how to set things on fire on purpose. maintain body temperature by just standing beside some wood that's on fire instead of literally any normal option
figure out that their prey tastes better and is easier to digest when they hold it over a fire after killing it. get smarter because they digest food so good after it's been held over a fire.
find a poisonous plant and try washing it in boiling water until they don't die when they eat it anymore
go across the ocean by making a floating nest despite not being able to breathe underwater, drink ocean water, or even swim naturally
drink milk from other mammals even though they can't digest it and it makes them sick. Evolve those mammals to produce more milk than their babies can drink so they can drink the milk. Some members of the species evolve to be able to digest milk because they were so hellbent on drinking it.
find flowers, bugs and minerals that are nice colors and crush them up to try to turn other things that color
eat mushrooms that make their nervous systems malfunction because they like malfunctioning their nervous systems
humans worldwide looking up into the celestial vault of stars a million light years away, separated from Earth by the deadly cold and emptiness of space: I bet there are guys up there to form social bonds with
idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol
One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said âthe person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you wonât let them help youâ and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like âwhy wonât you let me helpâ and whoop then I take the medicine
reblog to give somebody a fucking hug because we are all struggling to get through it. solidarity in this tough ass world.
âI got a fan letter from a young lady. It was a suicide note.
So I called her, and I said, âHey, this is Jimmy Doohan. Scotty, from Star Trek.â I said, âIâm doing a convention in Indianapolis. I wanna see you there.â
I saw her â boy, Iâm telling you, I couldnât believe what I saw. It was definitely suicide. Somebody had to help her, somehow. And obviously she wasnât going to the right people.
I said to her, âIâm doing a convention two weeks from now in St. Louis.â And two weeks from then, in somewhere else, you know? She also came to New York - she was able to afford to got to these places. That went on for two or three years, maybe eighteen times. And all I did was talk positive things to her.
And then all of the sudden â nothing. I didnât hear anything. I had no idea what had happened to her because I never really saved her address.
Eight years later, I get a letter saying, âI do want to thank you so much for what you did for me, because I just got my Masterâs degree in electronic engineering.â
ThatâsâŚto me, the best thing Iâve ever done in my life.â
Always reblog.
I will reblog this every Christmas season Iâm on tumblr.
Itâs beginning to look a lot like shit scram
Oh my god
Being on tumblr is like being a raccoon. I dig through the garbage for shiny things I like. Sometimes I find good things to share with my friends. Sometimes I find something horrifying, and also share it with my friends.
Truths....
what the hell
Oh. She needs to kill him. No other solution.
DUMP THE FUCKER
THAT WAS A SERIOUS CRIME ON A RELATIONSHIP
DUMP HIM
INTO TRASH
And yea socks may be silly but itâs not about socks. Itâs about a harmless thing that brings you joy and just because of that he should respect it. He doesnât have to like it but he HAS TO respect it. And for suddenly stealing YOUR property, your HARMLESS and to you IMPORTANT property - jail. Jail for ten thousand years.
