another online diary

[ana-s-archive]

Dearest Darling,

I've been wondering why did you come unexpected.

And now, you left me, and just discarded

[ana-s-archive]

Dearest Darling,

I have longed for you the longest, but now that we get the chance why do I feel like I'll end up crying.

I have longed for you the longest, but now that we get the chance why do I feel like you'll be gone any minute?

Unfortunately, I am right, I had been there for you, and now that she's back you left me discarded.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— A. Y.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

[ana-s-archive]

At least I wont hurt your feelings

[ana-s-archive]

And if they ask me about love, I'll tell them about the girl I met 12 years ago. The one who introduced me to my first love —badminton.

I'll tell them about the girl from the other block that convinced me to play. That one girl that talked to me when I felt like an outcast. That girl from the other block who makes sure that I am okay, and never left me when I'm not.

If they ask me about love, I'll tell them about you.

[ana-s-archive]

Shallow Waters

I swear I was drowning

All I know was It was suffocating

All I feel was the sudden force of gravity pulling me down.

One. Two. Three.

I kept flapping my feet and arms but it wasn't helping

I'm still drowning.

One. Two. Three.

I flapped once again

But I'm still here. In the same spot.

I wasn't moving.

If i was, I'm probably sinking. It's not getting any better.

One. Two. Three.

Surrendering to my demise

I stopped moving.

If this is the end then so be it.

And if this it, finally I could end this misery.

One. Two. Three.

Oh.

I wasn't sinking.

Little by little, I opened my eyes.

The water around me was calm, contrary to what I had imagined.

It was calm, and serene.

I thought I was drowning.

It was just all in my head.

It wasn't even that deep for I found myself in shallow waters.

Ana

June 25, 2023

[ana-s-archive]

In to the unknown

When you've been told who you are, you do not question. You just simply live up to their standards. You just simply do what you're told.

There are times when they are right. You end up living the way they wanted you to. And you are happy about it, so it's fine. It's a win-win situation, they get to put you in the correct label, and you get to enjoy its perks without worries.

However, there are times when they are incorrect. And you'll be given two choices; to live the way they wanted you to, or to go out of the box and be an outcast. Neither of the choices guarantees a happy ending.

The first choice will satisfy them, but will be okay with that? The second choice will satisfy you, but can you live up being an outcast for the rest of your life?

So, which will you choose?