princess

[eroscestlavie]

do you ever wonder what people say about you behind your back but like in a good way? like what are the #reviews 

[angelicky]

new ask meme: send me these #reviews 👀

[stripedsweater]

[florel]

this show is so important to me

[stability]

I mean who could win against that amazing strategy???

[qlazzarusgooodbyehorses]

[godyes]

[brucebocchi]

[freed0mforest]

the signs as “Texts from last night” part 2

Aries: (614): bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina

Taurus: (605): I thought I’d never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies

gemini: (419): Let’s be honest, I’ve seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.

Cancer: (828): Stop calling me, Mom. I’m in his closet. You’re gonna blow my cover and I’m about to catch this lying SOB.

Leo: (815): Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I’m asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.

Virgo: (808): You can be responsible and still be on that ho life

Libra: (707): Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I’m watching his dog this weekend while he’s in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life

Scorpio: (903): We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.

Sagittarius:(281): I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I’m an adult

Capricorn: (740): Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test…there goes my veil of innocence in this town.

Aquarius:  (612): Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there

Pisces: 630): True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent’s house

[bullied]

me: mom can I go out?

my mom:

[nikolai-watson]

[machoboy69-deactivated20181218]

This will never not be funny

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

[aksldhfgaajdshgaslg-deactivated]

Good

[bootyscientist-deactivated20160]

surround yourself with people that are more excited for your birthday than u are

[garlicknotz-deactivated20151118]

my math teacher tried to hit on another teacher

[annoyingemobitch-deactivated201]

me as a teacher

[laurdlannister-kingslayer]

he got curved in front of the kids, all Ls

[as-happy-as-deactivated20170608]

The ‘Actor’ walk.

[depthgrips]

child prodigy

[memewhore]

[tinderventure]

I matched with my professor right after our final… This is what he messaged me

[via]

[mrpibb]

The Election of the Century