How I see it, I get where it could look all sorts of screwed up, like maybe you think i'm doing this out of spite. Trying to make you jealous like i've had people insist. But I'm not. I happen to see that you're falling in love and try to keep my distance to enable you to do so without me trying to convince you still to love me. I'm trying to move on with my life and look forward into the future rather than live with the past I no longer can hold on to. I have a right to be with anyone I would like, though I'm not with anyone. Can't someone who once loved you see the possibility for your own happiness and smile upon the fact that you've found such a thing? I would hope someone I loved so much would be happy to see me happy rather than bitter and hateful like you've appeared. I can't begin to apologize for the ways I've wronged you, and the people I've wronged you with. Though I can't take back any of those things, I would. To this day I would make any little mistake between us better. I hate knowing you are angry with me for looking back to a part of my life I wasn't proud of, but people change and grow in different ways. You can't hate me for giving someone who could actually treat me incredible a chance. When a few years ago I told him I'd never in a million years choose him over you. Life goes on, people grow up, and move on. Let this be a sign, move forward. Learn that bitter people can keep their thoughts to themselves, others opinion doesn't matter. Move on with strength and show yourself what you're capable of. Moving on isn't always easy, i love you to all the moons and back. But sometimes I don't have a choice in that, and if I could I would choose not to. I love you so much I want to push you off a cliff just to be the one to save you. But I cant anymore, and I wont be. I wont love you so much, so much it stings to hear your voice in the back of my head laughing in your angry laugh and calling me an idiot. God dammit, you're my friend, don't treat me like shit. Do me a favor and cut your ties, those red strings I so securely tied to your ring finger. If you don't want them there, then spare me.
I loved you most. Always.
