PhiaTG

21.Mexican. "Just keep moving forward and don't give a shit about what anybody thinks. Do what you have to do, for you" - Johnny Depp

[loveshocks]

[girlsluvbeyonce]

[wais1]

Peachy

[unludicly]

“I know Judith isn’t mine”

[totallysupernaturaloneshots]

Negan: “I just slid my dick down your throat…and you thanked me for it.”

Me:

[hilariesjeffrey]

#heart eyes

[teardrops-on-my-fandoms]

Negan AKA “lowkey gay for Rick”

[rikkisixx]

PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME.GIF

[etherealxwitch]

TWD SPOILERS

If Negan slid his dick down my throat, I would also thank him

[reaganoxoxox-blog]

When you started the show to find out one simple mystery and it's led to you questioning your own self going on a 7th season.

[falsedetective]

5 years ago i was a fucking mess & now i’m a fucking mess but at peace with it and with cooler fashion sense

[jehovahhthickness]

Stop being your own bully. Learn to be nice to yourself.

[lovequotesrus]

Let’s continue this conversation in bed, she whispered, my legs can’t wait to hear what your hands have to say.

- Michael Faudet    (via lovequotesrus)

[jasmineloren]

[breastforce]

“Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them…or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.”

Holy SHIT

[t-ycho]

WELL THEN

[appropriately-inappropriate]

Yep.

They actually tested me for a learning disability in high school because I was consistently failing math.

They discovered that I actually scored in the 80th percentile in that sort of learning.

Problem was, in every other subject, I was in the 99.8th percentile.

I had never learned how to study because I never needed to—and then, when something proved to be even the slightest bit challenging, my brain went

“LOL nope this is impossible abort”

Meanwhile, this entire time I’m scraping by in subjects like English. The assignments I did turn in, I’d score top marks—but I’d avoid turning in projects I didn’t think were “good” enough.

Essentially, my brain had two settings: “100%” or “0%”.

This sort of Baby Genius shit makes kids and adolescents neurotic and self-destructive.

[cassiebones]

We learned about this in Child Development. And we learned to reward hard work and not good job. Like don’t say to a child, “oh you are so smart.” Say “Oh did worked so hard.” Be proud of the child, not the achievement.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Be proud of the child, not the achievement.

[thalassarche]

Decades of research have been done on this by Dr. Carol Dweck. When the emphasis is placed on effort (a factor people can control) rather than talent (an innate skill), it’s a lot easier to see mistakes as a learning opportunity rather than something you just won’t ever be good at. And kids who were encouraged by effort were also more willing to take on more challenging work and considered it a lot more fun, while the kids who were praised for their intelligence were reluctant to put themselves in a situation where they might lose that identifier as a “smart kid” by making mistakes, so they preferred to do work they were confident they could master. Also, the kids praised for effort wanted to compare their results to kids who got higher scores, to see where they made their mistakes, while those praised for intelligence wanted to compare their results to kids who scored lower, to reassure themselves.

Not only does this set up “smart” students for a lot of trouble when they enter college and start being regularly challenged, the effects last long beyond that. It can be very hard for the “you’re so smart!” kids to unlearn as they become adults and struggle with even common adult things, and are afraid to ask for help because of that lesson they learned from misguided praise that they are supposed to be smart and supposed to know the answers. 

[kyanve]

…Honestly +1 here.  It’s very well researched and documented and yeah.  Making the emphasis on “You succeed and we are proud of you b/c you are SMART as an intrinsic quality!” makes failure/setbacks/difficulty -TERRIFYING- b/c if you’re “smart” it doesn’t happen and if you fail that means you’re not smart and that’s what everyone’s drilled into you as your main point of worth.

And the rates of anxiety disorders among “gifted student” kids are kinda horrifying.    

[marisatomay]

As someone who was a Gifted Child growing up, my mental illnesses/ disorders (and those of many of my equally Gifted friends) were dismissed or looked over for years because for so long I was able to compensate for the discrepancies by being super intelligent

I would drive my parents nuts because on paper I was beyond brilliant and while technically my grades were above average, I wasn’t performing at the academic level I should’ve been

It wasn’t until over halfway through 11th grade that my high school guidance counselor suggested that I be tested for depression, anxiety, etc

With just basic testing we found out that having a high IQ doesn’t mean jack shit if you’re compensating for combined type ADHD, dysthymia, anxiety, and other things

But the real cherry on top? I had already gone through these tests when I was 8 Because I was deemed Gifted my parents sent me to kindergarten a year early and by the time I reached 4th grade my parents decided to have me tested just to make sure I was actually smart enough to be a year ahead After I was diagnosed at 16 I decided to actually read the 4th grade report and the 11th grade one to compare and contrast and it was honestly a little creepy how similar the 2 were The only big differences were my age and what the focus of the reports were In 2004 they were looking strictly at my intelligence In 2012 they were looking for signs of neurodivergency

It took 16 years for someone to realize that maybe there’s a Reason for my failures that go beyond simple “laziness”

In the past few years, more and more of my equally Gifted friends have been diagnosed with a varying array of mental illnesses/disorders (with depression and anxiety being the most common)

My therapist gave me some advice that has really helped me and I hope helps other people who were given diagnoses in their teens or later She said: You have to remember that you have lived most of your life not knowing your problems had solutions beyond just “snapping out of it” so don’t you think it’s a little unfair to expect yourself to unlearn all of that negativity and all of those bad coping skills in only a few months/years?

Anyway I just want to remind everyone to stop praising kids for being “smart” and listen to children when they say they don’t know why they’re acting a certain way or they honestly forgot about an assignment or they can’t seem to focus because I never want my children to feel the way I did and still do

[aromes]

[westraydie-deactivated20170318]