I’m retracing the footprints I’ve left. How come I’m still lost?
22nd February 2023
Show & Tell

Andulka
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Sade Olutola
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
trying on a metaphor
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Janaina Medeiros
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
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@theartofmadeline

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@anartofcatastrophe
I’m retracing the footprints I’ve left. How come I’m still lost?
22nd February 2023
never not bribing myself with cute lattes in order to write…
June 15th 2018
Gain’s Graduation Day
So proud of this human being! I know this is a huge achievement for you because I knew how much you wanted to finish school. You spent your previous years back in Ateneo and you know how off I feel towards.... Ateneo dudes.
I guess it’s fate (char!) that you had to quit from Ateneo and transfer here in our town. If it didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have met... I wouldn’t have poured my drunk-self-dancing side to you. Hahaha.
I know you’d do well in your future. You’re a brilliant man! You’re meant for the greater things. I love you so much.
May 15th 2018
Pahiyas Festival
We can never miss Pahiyas! It’s not just about the booze and drunken moments after roaming around and seeing magnificent houses with splendid decorations. Even tourists go here! Making it more crowded. Ugh. Oh, well.
Anyway, this is our first Pahiyas Festival as husband and wife. :3
Hehehehe
April 30th 2018
Villa Escudero, Tiaong, Quezon
Two days after our wedding, we decided to have our pre-honeymoon at Villa Escudero. It was only a day tour because we did not want to allot more budget to it. Besides, we have more plans and it’s better if we use it on our honeymoon day.
After the Wedding
What happens after?
First of all, I updated my documents. Yes, my IDs. I was aware that I could retain my maiden name as it was stated in the law. But I also knew some of the complications it would bring. I almost fought with some staff at government offices just because I wanted to retain my maiden name and that I wanted to just update my marital status--not my surname. I had some of my IDs like SSS, TIN/BIR, Pag-IBIG, and PhilHealth updated from Diokno to Dean. How could I let it happen? I was too tired to fight with the staff. Since it’s stated in the law, I just used my maiden name from that day on regardless of the updated surname at my IDs.
Except for my passport. Oh, I hold it very much dearly. The staff there even questioned me why wouldn’t I want to bear my husband’s surname. So what? It’s none of their business.
So whenever opposes my decision of retaining my maiden name, I just tell or forward them this:
Article 370 of the New Civil Code of the Philippines provides the rules on the use of surname of married women. It states that:
“A married woman may use: (1) Her maiden first name and surname and add her husband’s surname, or (2) Her maiden first name and her husband’s surname, or (3) Her husband’s full name, but prefixing a word indicating that she is his wife, such as ‘Mrs.’ ”
That shuts them up. Google it, bitch.
So after those stressful errands, we got to spend our pre-honeymoon getaway at Villa Escudero.
Of course, we had to try that samgyupsal restaurant at San Pablo first. Samgyup is life!
More pictures to come at the next post!
April 28th 2018
I’m getting married.
The day has finally come, I’m going to marry my other half. This was not the dream wedding I wanted, to be honest. This is some kind of a shotgun wedding. Don’t get me wrong, I love my partner and I, too, wanted to get married. But not at this very moment. Not just yet. This was far from the wedding I wanted. But I had one right---my partner. I knew I disappointed a lot of people, most especially my parents and family. Before I came out from the bridal car, I was having an anxiety attack. I didn’t want to walk down that aisle for a moment. I wanted to runaway. How I wish there was a runaway car waiting at the side exit of the church. Everything didn’t feel right. I was not excited. I was anxious. I felt like crying.
Why didn’t I feel like a bride? I wanted to have those bridal emotions, you know? That... bridal look.
I’m happy that I’m marrying the man I love.
Maybe... I’m just a sucker for weddings. Didn’t think I’d marry at this very moment. I was expecting a proper proposal and an intimate wedding. But it all rushed down like a waterfall. Boom! Wedding!
I can’t back out, can I?
My parents were waiting for me at the middle of the aisle. Mom was looking at me with her red puffy eyes. Dad’s eyes were glistening as I walked near them. Aww, my parents. As I walked, I saw my close friends smiling at me with their phones facing me. God, I wonder if I looked like an idiot at their camera roll.
Then my bridesmaids were all smiles too. My sister, the maid honor, still had that kitten-like expression. She’d look like a dwarf next to my giant friends if she hadn’t worn her heels. Lol!
And then there’s my husband-to-be, not emotional at all. Well, fair enough. He’s not one to breakdown, too.
Fast forward to the exchange of vows, all of it were impromptu. I did not prepare a note. I want it to be spontaneous. Too bad I couldn’t remember it now. Lol.
Anyway, I just wanted all of it to be over and sleep. I want a warm bath and a massage. I didn’t want to proceed to the reception. *sigh* But do I have any choice?
Anyway, at the reception... it felt crowded. It didn’t look like less than a hundred guests.
Turns out... I was right! My guests were not exact as some of my invited relatives could not attend. I was surprised to see A LOT of unfamiliar faces at the reception. I didn’t know most of them. When it was time for the slideshows of our pictures, I almost hid under out table. I hate seeing my face on big screens! Especially when there are people watching. My God!! I wasn’t emotional when we exchanged vows back at the church.
What triggered me was my daddy’s message during the program. He was a man who never cried. He never showed sappy emotions. I’d rather see him cranky and serious. But at that very moment, he cried. He didn’t want to give me away. He spent a good 30-minute speech while ugly crying.
And I lost it. Lol jk. I didn’t cry at the wedding nor at the reception. I didn’t let a single tear come out my eyes. I was crying inside. I couldn’t breathe properly after my dad’s message. Everything went blurry. I couldn’t understand what was happening around me. I had to count sheep in my head and relax. If I let out one single tear, I’d totally lose everything. I might have had a nervous breakdown that time. God. Wouldn’t want to ruin my own wedding, would I?
After that, the program proceeded to the traditional games for single ladies and men. It was fun to see our friends make a fool out of themselves. Lol.
When the program was over, it was only the time I could finally think. My grandparents already said goodbyes because they had to go home early. My grandpa was emotional. He was crying when he went to me and gave me a kiss on my forehead. “Just call me if you need anything, okay? I will always be here.” I was not myself. I could only smile and greet anyone. I was tired. I just want to hide.
I spent my free time with my friends at their table. We drank until the venue closes. It was okay. We had fair fun.
And from that moment on, I swore I will have my dream wedding soon.
Anyway, let me share the previous phase before this event.
Two months before the wedding...
I could not keep up with the pace. There were times I wanted to call off the wedding because everything just didn’t seem right. I knew I was not up for this, that I was not ready for any of this. When I lost the baby, I thought everything was gone. That Gain and I would break up, same with the wedding. I didn’t want that to happen. Just because we lost the baby doesn’t mean I have to lose him, too. My parents insisted that we push through with the wedding as planned. Then mom kind of wanted to call it off, too. So, I thought, okay, we won’t push it. I don’t know what happened. It was a whirlwind. I have this feeling that I will lose everything, including him, if I won’t agree with this wedding. Then mom gave it a go. UGH! I swear it was an indecisive phase. I was anxious for the months left before the wedding. I didn’t know where to start planning! Well, since it was Gain’s parents who paid for the whole expenses, it felt like I did not deserve to have any say for the wedding. I mean, yeah, most of it were still my choices BUT it felt wrong. It’s not our money. My money.
Am I doing the right thing?
I had the same reactions from everyone, especially the oldies. “You’re getting married? Already? At 21?”
Some were disappointed. My whole family, yes.
Some were genuinely supportive and happy, as it was nice to settle down at a young age.
My partner’s a good man and a husband material. I don’t mind spending the rest of my lifetime with him. I have no problem marrying him.
I had a problem with my wedding.
This was not my dream wedding.
I wanted a civil wedding because by that, we could save up for our church wedding. With our own money. Don’t get me wrong, I’m deeply grateful for his parents (now my in-laws) but this is one of a woman’s highlights in life that needs tremendous preparation. Gain was still at his training in Manila and could not help at the moment. I understood. I can do it anyway. Speaking of the preparation, let’s talk about that. INVITATIONS.
That’s what stressed me out the most. The second most stressing one, I mean. I hate it when everything just won’t go my way. I was pressured, okay? Yes, I was at fault, too. I didn’t triple check everything. Well, because the person I contacted with regarding the invitations was not complying. We had to go there just to check it. Turns out, she hadn’t started doing the design yet! My God! She reasoned out that she’s got a lot of customers. Uhm, was it my fault? She shouldn’t have accommodated us if she’s already got a lot on her plate. We could’ve looked for another designer. Ugh! I couldn’t throw a bitch fit because I was with my mom, Gain, and my mom-in-law. I couldn’t opt for the “a-bit-pricey” wedding stuff because, again, all of these did not come from my own “wedding fund”. DO YOU GET ME? So I had no options left but to do it my own way. I designed my wedding invitations and it was waaaaaaay better! Even my family and friends liked it. I thank my mom for the creative juices. I got it from my mama.
*Mommy designed my wedding gown. Isn’t it amazeballs? She could’ve made the actual wedding gown herself but she stands by such superstitious belief that the bride’s mother must not "tailor” the wedding gown. Is that even real? Pfft.*
GUESTS.
Okay, I definitely should’ve opted for RSVP. Anyway, more on to that later. The caterer can accommodate 100 guests. That’s the maximum. But of course, they give an additional for 50 pax. That’s the norm. I only expected less than 100 guests because we only wanted to invite close relatives and friends.... but since his family is friends and related with almost everyone in the town, they gotta invite all of them... I guess? More about that later! PHOTOSHOOT. I hate posing for the camera unless I willingly did so. So you know about the usual dramatic concepts for the pre-nup shoots and the likes, right? I didn’t want any of those. I humbly requested not to do that because I’m not comfortable with it. But the photographer and my in-law insisted because it’s part of the package and it would go to waste if we didn’t include pre-nup shoots. I SWEAR I WAS SO AWKWARD AND CRANKY DURING THE PHOTOSHOOT. I didn’t want any of it. I hated my make-up. I hated how my semi-thick eyebrows turned into oddly-thin ones. I hated the fancy and dramatic running, forced laughter, smiling. Oh, the heat of the sun!
REQUIREMENTS AND SEMINARS.
We had to attend some seminars before we could push through the wedding. Since it’s a church wedding, all couples who plan to wed need this one. A written test about religious topics which I don’t even remember of. Some of it, I still do, like the basics. The staff at the church are (not generalizing but most of them are really like this!) quite... mean? IDK, it’s like their patience are always wearing thin as the days go by. It’s kind of ironic because they work at the church. And they should be the best “people” because they serve the church. They serve God--who Is patient and understanding. ANYWAY, people are people. What I hate about the lectures is how wives SHOULD submit themselves to their husbands. I hate it how they picture women as servants for men. Husband and wife should submit to each other. Both should be the pillars.
And now, my most stressing phase... occurred three days before my wedding.
Three days before the wedding....
MY PERIOD.
Of all days! My period really’s good at bad timing. I swear! May it be a summer getaway, important events, etc. And now... before my wedding? I already polished everything that we needed. From the invitations down to the dresses. I had my me-time.
OH before I forgot, I had two bridal showers! One from my high school friends, and one from my college friends.
(Me and my high school barkada. Incomplete, tho!)
(Me with my college buddies. They had to wait for hours for me to come home because I went to watch a movie at the mall HAHAHA I’m sorry! I didn’t know, okay?!)
That’s all I have to share. I think? And now I have to mind my documents because I have to update all of my I.D.s :(
April 28th 2018
How did it feel like being a bride?
Happy? Excited? Jittery?
Oh, I will tell more about it later on.
February 23rd 2020
I took a gap year from posting my thoughts here. It’s like, half of 2019 and the whole 2019 were a blur. It was all like the first time I rode a roller coaster: my eyes were shut and whenever I took a glimpse through the fast wind, everything was just a haze.
That was my previous years. It felt like I was asleep the whole year and my doppelganger did all my responsibilities as a human. God.
But anyway, here I am at four in the morning, already regretting for staying up late and screw my look for tomorrow’s interview. Ah, feels like the old times.
I’ll try to keep up with 2018 to 2019 by posting pictures from those years. Because that’s all I can rely to when I’m walking down the memory lane.
Okay, here we go.
This is me tryna look cute using a snapchat filter. Hihi.
My baby, you are now an angel.
“I can no longer see any movement—there is no longer a heartbeat.”
It’s been a week since I knew about my loss. I had my checkup the day before Valentine’s. We were all worried and excited at the same time. Worried about my condition due to bleeding and cramps; excited because it’s the first time Gain and his mother will about to see and hear my baby. My lab test results were all fine and normal. I was perfectly healthy.
But then when the doctor checked at the ultrasound, her face explained everything to me. There’s terrible news. The baby’s there. It’s still inside my womb. But her face speaks for more—she carries terrible news. One thing I never did expect.
She told us that the findings do not associate with the expected result. Supposedly, I’m at my 12th week of pregnancy. But the findings showed that the baby is only 9 weeks old.
No more movement.
No heartbeat.
I couldn’t hear right. I couldn’t feel my body. I was paralyzed. Gain was already crying. I couldn’t breathe. I thought I was dreaming. Then my muscles start to tremble. I was in so much pain. The doctor explained everything I needed to know and what I had to do when the time comes that my body starts to push out my baby.
My dead baby.
I can’t hear her. I just bob my head like I was listening. But I wasn’t. My baby’s dead and that’s what I can only think of.
I went home. They ask me things like what did I do? Somehow they thought it was my entire fault.
But I can’t help but also blame myself.
There were no complications. No definite reason. The doctor couldn’t think of other reason as well. There were a lot of maybe’s.
Maybe our sex cells aren’t just that healthy.
Maybe there will be a complication with the growth if prolonged.
Or maybe it’s just isn’t for us and it’s God’s way of telling us.
I DON’T KNOW!
I couldn’t let it sink in. I went on like my baby’s still alive. As long as he’s still in my womb, he’s alive. He is still alive.
Then last Friday, I felt an excruciating pain. I knew it was the time but I prayed to God to make him stay a little bit longer. I don’t want to let him go just yet. I know that the only way to end the pain was to get him out from me.
But I wasn’t ready.
Then I bled so much. The pain worsened and there was nothing comparable to that pain. I could feel a lot of blood and everything inside me gush out. I was so scared to see it for myself. I don’t want to see my child exit my womb. He’s mine and no one in this world could take him away from me.
My mom was there. Everyone was there. I couldn’t see clearly, all I can feel was pain. So much pain. Then my body went numb and their voices became mumbles. Everything went blurry and dark. Unconsciously, I closed my eyes. I couldn’t feel my body for a moment. Everything became slower and blurry.
The next thing I knew, I was blinded out by bright lights. I went back to my senses and the pain came back instantly. I was groaning and screaming in pain. I never felt such ache like that before. They were all there, holding my hand.
I knew my baby is still inside me. He’s not letting go.
It went on for hours. I wanted the pain to go away but I endured it all not just to wait for my operation but to prolong my last moments with my baby.
Then my doctor came. She examined me. She told me it was time to get him out because if he stayed for a little bit more, I might die. I rather get poisoned from my condition, at least in that way, I’ll get to see my unborn child.
She was gentle and swift at the same time, it became more painful. More blood gushed out. Then I felt something getting pulled out from me. It was quick then it became painless. I start to breathe normally. But I was still in pain. My mom gathered up the pieces of meat on the sheets. My baby.
Everything became more painful now that he’s gone. I felt the emptiness.
They let me rest so I’ll be prepared for my operation hours later. I had to undergo D&C.
I had to stay at the hospital for a day. We were four in the room. There were women with babies. Usually I’d be maddened by those little devils’ wails but during that time, I felt bitterness and a sharp ache in my heart. Ever since I learned about my loss and see pregnant ladies and women with their babies, I always try my hardest to hold my shit together and don’t breakdown.
I don’t want to feel abhorrence towards the world. But I can’t help but question God. Why did He let this happen to us? Why would He give something if He would just take it back? Is this some kind of a joke? Is it because we’re not ready? Then why put us in such agonizing situation?
This is not some kind of a test or a lesson that could be regained by earning new and high points to the next test. This is life, for Pete’s sake! A loss is a loss.
But who am I to question Him? We know He has reasons and greater plans ahead for us. He’s with God now.
I just can’t help it but feel bitter all over again. We had it all planned out. I never planned and sorted my life the way I did when the baby came into our lives. Everything was all laid out. And we knew very well that this baby is a boy. A healthy baby boy. We just knew it in our hearts.
His name would be Damien. We’re still thinking about his full name.
His wardrobe would be black, white, and gray. He’ll wear panda onesies. His stuff will also be neutral colored.
I once dreamed about him. He was 7 years old in my dream, and I was carrying a newborn child dressed in a green onesie. I was breastfeeding my second child. Damien had his father’s hair, skin, and eyebrows. He had my eyes, my expression. His face was fierce and calm at the same time. He spoke like the way I did, but more like his father—calm and assuring. Damien also loved to be in the kitchen. He was enjoying baking.
I don’t know what that dream was for. Could it be the future? Could it be what our life would have been if I didn’t lose my baby?
I’m doing fine now. But strictly under house arrest. I need to recover for about 2 weeks. I’m good to go after a month. I feel more depressed. Feels like there’s no more sense left in life. My little gremlin is now in Heaven. I don’t know how my heart will able to heal. Will it ever heal one day?
I will grieve forever.
February 3rd, 2018
It’s already 2018’s second month and I haven’t even spared a bit of time to update my blog. Okay, so here are the summarized highlights of the end of my 2017 and the beginning of my 2018:
December 2017
· My work got extended till January 19th (which should’ve ended by December 31st).
· I had the opportunity to apply in DOH because I’m a civil service passer. And it’s under Science so it’s more on lab. Yay!
· I finally decided to push through medical school. I am now 99.9 % sure. The 0.1% depends on my parents’ approval and support.
And for the ultimate year-ender news…
· The day after Christmas Day, I discovered that I am pregnant.
2018
· Med school is cancelled.
· Opportunity to work is cancelled as well due to my condition.
· We welcomed New Year with heavy news.
· I broke my family’s hearts.
· I became a disappointment (regardless of every thing).
· A church wedding is about to happen and it is very traditional. To the point where the family of the guy should shoulder all the expenses in the wedding. Yep.
It feels satisfying to finally update my blog. This has been my diary for the past few years. Good thing I was still able to jot down my thoughts. I haven’t done writing for a while. So what did I exactly feel the moment I learned I was pregnant?
The usual. I was shocked. Disappointed with myself. Regardless of what I have attained and achieved in life. I may have already earned a degree and got to work. But it’s not enough to sustain this child, especially his needs. This is all unplanned. I know it is my responsibility and a big obligation.
I had so many plans ahead. I’m about to turn 21 this April and I’m preparing myself to discover things. I want to travel. I want to experience every thing I didn’t when I had the chance back then. I want to learn more about myself. I got plans for myself.
But it’s all gone in just one snap.
Every one was shocked with the news but they’re more excited than we are. Our families are now okay with it and they support us with all their heart and that’s heart-warming. Everything’s okay. Despite of having my condition in such a bad timing, we still manage to look on the bright side. The beginning of the year is a bit rough for us and has struggles. But we’re working on it. Everyone’s stressed out.
I thought of getting rid of my condition when I knew I was pregnant. I thought about the consequences. I was so devastated. If I got rid of this condition, I can pursue med school. My boyfriend could’ve gone straight to U.S. for his internship after or before his graduation. Everything will go accordingly to plan.
I let him know my thoughts about it and he ended up mad, disappointed, hurt, and in disbelief. He’s afraid of committing such mistake but more terrified to lose the baby. I should consider myself lucky because I’m not one of those who got left out by bunch of assholes who wouldn’t want to take responsibility.
I was about to kill myself. Overdose myself to a deep slumber. I waited for my last payday so that I could give some money to my family. I was ready to leave the world.
I prayed and apologized for what I was about to do. I was drowning in my own thoughts. I wanted to be a doctor. A doctor saves lives and now I’m about to sentence an innocent being to death? Shame on me. Then I thought of Gain and what would this child’s life be if I brought him into this world.
It’s not that I don’t love Gain. I have imagined my future with him but I never thought we’d reach this point: starting a family together. I always had this mindset that no one will ever love me enough to sacrifice and give his life and devotion just to be with me. Yes, marriage.
I never believed in marriage. Most of the marriages nowadays fail. A lot of third parties. It seems like only a few couples survive till the end of a lifetime. I mean, who could actually stay devoted to one person for that long? Can one person be really faithful?
I have too many doubts and questions.
There’s no single day where I didn’t overthink things through. My mind works a lot especially at night. I wake up every morning feeling empty and a bit lonely. Then I sleep at night bothered by my thoughts. No matter how I got distracted by day, I end up sleeping with a heavy heart.
My boyfriend exerts a lot of effort to keep me sane. He’s always there supporting me. He’s naturally giving and thoughtful but I never thought he could be more than that. I admired him more. Too bad he got stuck with a horrible person like me.
I know he’s having a hard time too but he tries his best to be strong. For us. I feel sorry for him; for having to spend his entire life with me. I couldn’t even stand myself most of the time so I’m worried about how he’ll be able to handle me.
I hope everything will be okay someday.
October 9th
I was in the middle of working hours when my eyes start to well up. Use of phones and the likes are not allowed but I managed to slip in my phone and diverted my attention towards it and blinked multiple times, trying to stop the edgy tears.
My hands were trembling a bit and the room felt a bit colder. At that very moment, I felt alone. I just wanted to sulk in the corner and cry. I could feel the pain, I didn’t know why.
I’ve been feeling this way ever since and I thought I have gotten rid of it. I thought wrong. Homesick, maybe? I do not know.
Today’s the start of my third week in work. I am with my colleague. It kept me a bit sane for this major adjustment in life. But still, I felt alone. It never bothered me because I enjoy the solitude ambiance.
I would’ve preferred living alone, though.
I excused myself in amidst of our activity and ran towards the comfort room. I closed the cubicle before me and cried in silence. It was so painful. I stayed for a couple of minutes till I calm down. My eyes were puffy and I had to wait a bit longer to make it look okay.
I returned to my desk. I continued my activity with a heavy heart and I swear it felt so awful that I’d rather ditch everything and go home. Swear.
Sigh.
INCOMINGGGGG
Annual hair cut. Haha.
September 23rd
LAST WEEKEND before I enter the adulting stage (LOL)
I finished packing my stuff before heading out to the gym and have my last date with boyfie. I played with our pets in every second and minute I can. I’m about to exit my comfort zone. The only thing that helps me survive is the fact that I will be working with my college buddy.
Our first day is going to be on Monday in Taguig. Far from my expected choice of job though because I really wanted to work in laboratory. We got the job since the company is really hiring medical allied courses but more on office work. I prayed to God that if I didn’t get this job (I’ve been job seeking for a month or two lol) then this isn’t for me and maybe I should consider pursuing medicine as what I had planned. But anyway, we’re already here so, it’s a go.
I’ll be leaving tomorrow afternoon (Sunday) so I’m cherishing every second here in Lucban. I continued my routine. After heading to the gym, I double-triple checked my packed stuff.
NACHOS AND CHILL
So okay wala lang, fan na fan lang ako ng JADINE kaya included lagi GIFs. Hahaha. So ayun po, sinulit namin ang pag-gy-gym together kasi that would be my last gym session with my boyfie. Huhu. It’s part of our every day activity. Tonight’s activity would be Nachos and Chill.
It’s been months since we last had our Nachos food trip. So we picked new movies to download days ago then watched it on our indoor date. We watched 4 movies and stayed up late till sunrise. I didn’t want to end our time together but I know he’s darn sleepy so I let him drift off to sleep. I packed my laptop and other stuff then bid goodbye to his mom and left his house.
I’ll surely miss him.
I went home and greeted by our dogs. I won’t be greeted by fluffy creatures when I go home from work starting on Monday. :(
I only I could bring them all with me. :(
So around 4 or 5 pm, my mom drove me to my apartment with all of my stuff. This is it, I said to myself. Welcome to the Adult Life.
I KENNAT.
September 11th
OKAY SO IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS. AND I CAN'T HELP BUT REPLAY THE SCENE OF STEPHEN KING'S FUCKING CLOWN SHIT PLOT STORY "IT".
THE ORIGINAL MOVIE GAVE ME FUCKING NIGHTMARES BECAUSE CLOWNS FUCKING TERRIFY ME BIG TIME. SO I THOUGHT THIS REMAKE (WHICH I WATCHED TOGETHER WITH MY BOYFIE, BIG FUCKING SCREEN) WAS LIKE A "MEH" BECAUSE HEY, NOTHING TERRIFIES ME MORE BUT OUR PRESIDENT'S EXISTENCE (LOL HI DUTERTE) BUT OMG IT'S LIKE DUTERTE DISGUISED IN A CLOWN SUIT WHO KILLS AND FEEDS ON CHILDREN.
SO ANYWAY TANGINA, YABANG KO KASI I AKALA KO I CAN OVERCOME MY PETTY FEAR OF CLOWNS. DUDE, HORROR MOVIES OF THIS ERA ARE SO OVERRATED (yes i am expressing it negatively ppl). I RELY ON ROTTEN TOMATOES AND IT'S RARE FOR ME TO SEE THEM RATE SUCH HORROR MOVIE 85% AND HIGHER. "IT (2017)" WAS RATED 87% AND THAT'S KABOOSH!
SO YEP WE WATCHED IT YESTERDAY AND I KNEW I WAS GOING TO REGRET IT THE MOMENT WE BOUGHT TICKETS. THE HEAVY RAIN SCARES ME NOW BC THAT'S THE MOMENT GEORGIE SAILED HIS PAPER BOAT AND GOT WASHED AWAY TO THE SEWERS AND MET PENNYFUCKINGWISE WHO BIT THE POOR KID'S ARM AND DRAGGED HIM TO THE SEWERS. WTF????
THE IMAGES, THE SCENES ESPECIALLY THE CHASING SCENARIOS PUTANGINA I CAN'T. ACTUALLY EVERYTHING IN THAT MOVIE GIVES ME THE CREEPS PUTANGINA TALAGA.
Tangina talaga it was a thumbs up movie but I will forever regret watching it.