i am an introvert and as i grow older, i am particular about how and with whom i would prefer to spend my time.
as a mother of 4 children, the answer is quite straight forward that i would prefer to spend time with my kids. they grow so fast during primary school years that you have to always be there to ensure they are stable mentally and emotionally.
and then when i need a break from my motherly duties, i would prefer to seek the company of friends whom i am close to or just time to myself.
in my working experience, i do not have unfortunately, a group of close colleagues. my definition of close would be i am willing to sacrifice my time with my kids to go out with them. i sometimes wonder if the attachment of work to that individual makes it impossible to have that kind of close relationship. but as time goes by i think it is actually an age factor and how comfortable you are with that person. it also takes time to build and i have not stayed someplace long enough to foster such a strong relationship.
i also avoid pple who would make me tired just by being in their company as i need to match my energy levels with them? i prefer to be in a group setting where i can just be an observer and chime in only when necessary. a week before my period, i noticed that i just rather not interact with anyone. my walls will be built up and id rather be in a cocoon of solitude.
it is also important to note, the importance of only having necessary talks to avoid unnecessary sins. ive recently learnt that as a working Muslim woman, it is important to be mindful of how we behave in public as we are in a way, representing the house we come from, and thus indirectly, our husband. we are not required to work, as the Muslim men holds that responsibility. however, if we are permitted to work, then besides being ikhlas in carrying out our duties, we should jaga adab, tata susila dari segi pergaulan dan perbuatan. most importantly, we cannot neglect our responsibilities as a mother and wife despite working.
alhamdulillah besar ganjaran seorang wanita yang bekerja untuk menampung perbelanjaan keluarga dan ikhlas melakukannya. namun, kita juga tidak boleh besar kepala dan buruk sangka jika suami kita bergaji rendah. instead, we should always pray to Allah swt to luaskan rezeki suami kita as doa seorang isteri inshaAllah akan membantu suami.
finally, kita juga tidak boleh terlalu bergantung terhadap gaji kerana at the end of the day, rezeki itu daripada Allah dan bukan manusia. this is something i'll always have difficulties to remember each time i feel like we are financially short. basically dalam Islam kita tidak boleh terlalu bergantung kepada perkara lain kecuali Allah swt. but this also does not mean we just sit and do nothing. i guess this is why, kalau kita sentiasa bersyukur, kita redha akan semua yang kita ada, kita akan lebih tenang dalam kehidupan. there have been instances when Allah swt beautifully arranges everything and when that happens, my heart will just burst with gratitude. alhamdulillah for everything.
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