* avery ( river ).

i miss fighting in our old apartment.

[anauroraborealis]

[ anauroraborealis ]. independent , private & very selective riley tuck from rachel reid's the shots you take , crossed over with game changers. reimagined by roz (he/him & over 21). affliated with @lenzimanot / @anaurorapolaris

more info about riley.

note : this is a very selective & private blog. i block liberally. i do not engage in drama ( im an adult and don't have time for that tbh nor the mental ability to deal with it ) so don't try to drag me into it. i'm here to write & enjoy tumblr as a hobby.

simple rules. all graphics / icons used on this blog are created by me unless specified otherwise. also very important : no ai anywhere , thank you. i also will be extremely selective in following back , to feel more comfortable. this isn't personal , i promise.

mains & exclusivity : exclusive's. adam sheppard : @anaurorapolaris

[captainewyork]

OUT OF HOCKEY. hi , so little update. i did manage to get the electric back on ( although there's only enough for 2-3 days , i hate being on a meter ) but before that , my mum admitted she'd left the freezer open over night ( when the electric had also gone out ) and because of that , we lost a ton of food ( pre made meals etc ) that we cannot replace and seeing as we were pretty much out of fridge food , we are now in a situation where we're running very low on everything besides instant coffee.

so as much as i hate to do this , i am asking for a little help so i can a ) keep the electric on and b ) get some groceries. obviously no one is obligated to do so and i definitely understand that some people can't so , if you can't , it's totally fine, i get it! if you're able to reblog this post though i'd really appreciate it <3

for those who wish to help , i'll leave a link to my paypal down below. im willing to make graphics for anyone who is able to ( although i may be a little slow as i am struggling mentally , but i will most definitely do what i can ) paypal.

[anauroraborealis]

sorry ive been quiet here , ive had ilya rozanov & scott hunter brainrot lately so ive been on those blogs but i am going to try and get some replies done here soon <3

[anauroraborealis]

RILEY TUCK & ADAM SHEPPARD @anaurorapolaris ( only flora can reblog ) AESTHETIC : post the shots you take.

i loved you first.

[anauroraborealis]

ANAURORABOREALIS. i can't seem to turn the page, this haze around my face makes me feel all alone. i know you see me standin' still , but when our fingers touch, I feel my way back home

ind. private & selective riley tuck from rachel reid's the shots you take. heavily headcanon based and crossed over with the game changers universe. reimagined by roz.

[anauroraborealis]

would love more things here so..hit the heart if you want a small starter from riles!

[anauroraborealis]

@menaceonice liked for a small starter.

the rare times that riley had seen ilya rozanov play - he'd been reminded a little of himself. back when riley had still had a career in hockey , he'd been just as volatile on the ice. ENOUGH SO THAT HE'D EARNED THE NICKNAME 'THE BEAST'. seeing him now at this charity event ; he seemed to have the same calculating look on his face but with an air of discomfort. riley knew that feeling.

this had been one of the rare times that riley had spoken at one of these events ( he definitely doesn't enjoy it ) & right now , he's gulping down a glass of orange juice and trying not to wish it was something else. "you look uncomfortable." his gaze finds rozanov , careful not to push too deep. he didn't seem like the kind who wanted to talk about how he was feeling ( ironically , that had been the point of riley's speech , that hockey wasn't a safe space emotionally ). "i hated these places when i was still playing. fake smiles , shitty opinions." & not much seems to have changed.

[anauroraborealis]

@anaurorapolaris liked for a small starter.

it was a surprise , riley being in the crowd as adam goes through his induction into the hockey hall of fame ( maggie had arranged it , secretly flying him in and making lucy and cole promise to not tell adam ). YEAH , IT HAD BEEN NERVE WRACKING. riley avoids the league and it's community as much as humanly possible ( and for good reason ) but this? this had been important. he couldn't miss it , even if adam had assured him time and time again that he didn't need to be there.

when adam is finally off stage , staring at him like he can't possibly be real - riley can only grin. "surprise." & yeah , he's pretty proud of himself right now , but he's more proud of adam. "you were so goddamn amazing up there , you know that? you deserved every moment." & more. WITH EACH NEW DAY , adam was getting braver , finding more confidence in himself. it was everything riley had ever wanted for him.

[anauroraborealis]

@bysk1ppy liked for a small starter.

riley struggles to get the box off the ground ( & it's his own damn fault because he'd overloaded it with sports equipment but he doesn't have the time to sort it out , given that it was already opening hours ) whilst lucky barks when the bell rings. groaning , he staggers out of the back , clutching the box as tight as he can. "one second!" it's a face he doesn't recognise , probably a tourist or someone heading to the next town. after a few moments , he makes it to the till ( really regretting giving owen the day off , he needs to hire more staff but the truth is , he feels like he has to do all of this on his own ).

"sorry about that - just got a delivery. how can i help?"

[anauroraborealis]

*hugs riley tuck really tight* i love him sm

[anauroraborealis]

@anaurorapolaris sent : "You've been going on a lot of walks lately."

yeah , he had. riley knows what's coming - adam has always been able to see through him ( even when they were younger / maybe especially then ). WHEN RILEY GOES ON A WALK , it's not always because he wants to enjoy nature. it's because his head is so loud that he's afraid he's going to reach for the bottle again if he doesn't occupy himself. HE KEEPS AN ALCOHOL FREE HOUSE ( which riley has done for years ) , but there's always the chance when things get bad , that he's going to find a way around it and lately? he'd been terrified of just that.

" it's uh...getting bad again." he'd promised to try and be more open about that , especially now. it had been a lot , learning he was adopted - trying to track down his biological family only to learn both his biological parents were dead. HE'D TALKED TO ADAM ABOUT IT A LITTLE ( but not his mom , she wasn't aware he knew and he didn't want her worrying about him ). clearly something in his voice had alerted his boyfriend , because he'd flown all the way out of here.

"i didn't want to worry you." ( and he was clearly doing a crap job at that , seeing as adam was looking at him like he was made of glass ). riley busies his hands by preparing them both some lunch , trying to focus his mind on that & not the volcano of emotion that was threatening to erupt.

[anauroraborealis]

@theresastargirl sent : "Isn't it all just a bit busy inside your head?"

wincing , riley makes a slight face. "sometimes it's like you can read my mind." snorting , he watches as lucky races across the sand , paws splashing against the edge of the water. IT WAS QUIET ON THIS PART OF THE BEACH , it often felt like it was his own personal paradise. no eyes , no questions. "you didn't come all the way down here to talk about my mind." or maybe she did - but he doubted it. ophelia had never struck him as a reporter who was looking for a story from him & that was one of the reasons he trusted her as much as he did. LUCKY ALSO ADORED HER , often sitting at the door when he knew she was popping by ( probably because he knew all he had to do was look at her and he'd get treats ).

"you gonna tell me what brings you to avery river? we're not exactly the centre of news worthy stories." he couldn't remember the last time much of anything had happened around here. IT WAS A QUIET TOWN ( and not much had changed since he was a kid , which was an issue in itself really - but riley enjoyed being closer to this family. especially now his dad was gone ).

[chosenstars]

݁ .⠀ ✩ THE LAST OF THE BUGS. part two of a collection of dialogue prompts from noah kahan's album the great divide: the last of the bugs. some liberties taken to better fit the overall rpc, adjust as you wish. WARNINGS FOR: mentions / insinuations of drugs, alcohol, and depression.

i would ask you how you’ve been, but it’s all over the internet.

if you’re looking for an autopsy or a half-assed half-apology, you picked the wrong time to make this call.

it’s not irrelevant that you stopped taking your medicine.

but it’s cold.

i don’t know, i’m alone.

there ain’t no shame in calling it quits.

you’re a ghost.

you’re poison spreading into my lungs.

i ain’t holding my breath or any faith at all.

i’ll pray for you, be in pain for you.

i’ll leave the porch light on.

you act like we just sit up here and wait for you to reappear.

i want to see you lose it.

i want to hear you say it.

i want to know the dark that i share a brain with.

do you still have a heart or did somebody steal it?

i’m far too tired to watch you lie.

another thing we don’t talk about anymore.

don’t worry, i won’t bring it up.

when i ask about the past, you deny it.

we’re both exhausted for different reasons.

i used to care to know your secrets.

you said you got a guilty conscience, but i ain’t ever seen it.

you can scream at me when i come home.

i always wish you well.

it’s gone to shit without you.

it was shit before, but at least i had you.

there ain’t nothing to report.

i’ve been taking your advice.

if i see one more cybertruck, i swear to god i’m gonna floor it.

i need somebody here to talk me out of things i can’t undo.

saw the world from up close, it ain’t much to look at.

i can’t make myself whole, most days i’d be lucky just to get half.

you’ve seen me in places so low, you can recognize when it’s real bad.

i used to hate the silence.

used to make me think about the old days.

i love you and i can’t fake that for a moment.

we go way back.

tell me that i have substance, that i’m important.

i’m always trying to run from what i’m known for.

gambling with the sun on which one of us dies young.

i ain’t afraid to hold the gun.

wipe your hands and wash your face.

you can fuck up all you want and blame it on your dad.

i want to be you, but i don’t want to be that.

where i’m from and what i’m worth have gotten too damn intertwined.

fuck it, i might even disappear.

i hope you’ve had a decent time.

gonna be rich in our own way.

i swear you’re gonna get it, kid.

they didn’t look scared at all.

tell me when it feels like you can’t escape me.

i’m just happy you still call.

some things live forever, even when they die.

everyone looks happy in a photograph.

i’m always on my own.

maybe i’m manic again.

i think this time i’m out for good.

this ain’t mine anymore.

i made too much goddamn noise.

i’m done staring at the void.

i was high when i met you.

life was something to get through.

we’re too old for both of us to keep howling at the moon.

oh my, what a time to be alive.

tell me, love, if the devil ever comes, to make good on the debts that i owe.

tell the stories i would tell.

make a few of your own.

i was afraid you might wake up and remember who i am, and what i’ve done.

i grew up with a feeling that what’s good must be fleeting.

some will never know they’re beautiful until the crowd points it out for them.

i’m on alien ground.

i’m an astronaut, you’re the moon.

even god is trying to warn you, all this ain’t for you.

i’m an aging wolf who lost the taste for blood.

i’m gonna lose you either way.

everybody’s asleep,  let’s talk about it.

you’ve been the best five minutes of a shitty year.

we’re so alone most of the time.

where do we go when we die?

i wouldn’t mind right here.

you told me how unfair it is, that i have what i have and you got what you got.

i’d give it all back if i could, i cannot.

i hated the way i made it all about me.

every day from back then is like a bad dream.

hey, that’s us.

you and i will be found.

we ain’t far from my house.

[anauroraborealis]

i genuinely think that seeing players like scott hunter , shane hollander & ilya rozanov speak up against the league is really what inspires riley to talk openly about the last years of his career and how much those last years really did cause a damage that he's still repairing. there was so much toxicity when he was playing ( and there still is ) , that it feels like very little has changed and post the shots you take - riley is considering being more vocal because whilst he receives various apologies for how he was treated , it doesn't change what happened and what's still happening.

mental health is still treated like a joke , even if it's done more subtly - players are taught that to show emotion is often weakness , and that strength comes from shoving that down. whilst riley has no intention of writing his own book ( that being said he's endlessly proud of adam for doing so ) - he's not adverse to doing talks and raising awareness. he very much donates and contributes to the irina foundation ( a cause he STRONGLY believes in ) as well as other mental health focused charities.

[rinksaint]

Scott had deliberately sought out Riley after his speech. It'd resonated with him. Not enough people talk about the toll the sport has on mental health, how it all gets pushed under the carpet because men apparently aren't supposed to have feelings. Especially not hockey jocks. It's wrong.

"I wouldn't say that -" Scott leans against the bar, shaking his head. "In fact, I think it's important that you came and made that speech. There's a lot wrong with the league, but talking about things - Putting it out there like you just did - That's how change happens."

"I know it's hard." An understatement. Scott hates these things. They're a little easier now that he's out and not hiding this big part of himself, but he'd still much rather be at home. "But you did some good tonight."

[anauroraborealis]

( 'you did some good tonight' ) riley really does want to believe scott , but it's not that easy. CHANGE TAKES TIME & WITHIN THE LEAGUE IT FEELS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE. that being said , he admired the way scott was determined to do just that. he'd been brave himself , open about things the league had repeatedly tried to shove under the carpet. it was nice to see younger players standing up to men like crowell. riley wonders if things might have been different , if he'd found the courage to do the same. HIS LAST YEARS OF HOCKEY WEREN'T EXACTLY GOOD MEMORIES & a lot of them he tried to shove down. sometimes it was hard to remember the good moments. he doesn't want it to be like that for others.

"speaking up back then would have been the end of my career -" and not speaking up had been too. "maybe they heard me tonight , or maybe they'll forget it by tomorrow but ....you're right , it had to be said." RILEY WASN'T LIKE ADAM , NOR LIKE SCOTT. he didn't do well in the spotlight , he didn't know how to choose his words carefully. "you're doing some good too you know , doesn't matter what crowell says. you're giving a lot of players hope. courage to be themselves."

[anaurorapolaris]

@anauroraborealis gets the proposal starter <3

They've spent the evening getting dinner and ended up at the brewery afterwards, once again sitting at the table with their framed jerseys. But tonight Adam doesn't mind, it actually feels kind of fitting for what he's planned.

As he gets behind the steering wheel and starts driving, his free hand finds Riley's. "Hey how would you feel about a little detour, before we head back home?"

[anauroraborealis]

okay , something is definitely going on. adam doesn't do random detours. riley loves the man - he truly does , but he's known him long enough to know that spontaneous is not one of his skills. HE'S ALWAYS PREPARED FOR EVERY EVENTUALITY ( he plans meticulously ). still , riley's curious so he leans back in his seat , fingers curling around his boyfriend's.

" sure , why not." lips curl upwards just a little. something in his chest seems to tighten , anticipation maybe. HE KNOWS ADAM HAS PLANNED SOMETHING , what though? that part was a mystery.

"you gonna tell me where we're headed?"

[actorsperformersandcelebrities]

Ryan Phillipe