I ache because the universe is inside of me, and I feel it all

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I ache because the universe is inside of me, and I feel it all
Dandelions brighten everything
"لو رأيت بك عيباً سأقول العيب في عيوني !"
"If ever see a flaw of yours, I'd say my eyes are the flawed ones."
-Via noorbradosti
#0040 your chiron and your wound
chiron was discovered as a small planetoid in 1977 between saturn and uranus. in some version of mythology, chiron is saturn's rejected half-animal half-human son; a procreation of a secret affair between saturn and philyra. chiron's rejection upon birth is symbolic of the feelings of rejection we experience in our lives, depending where chiron is in our birth chart.
chiron is typically referred to as a wounded healer because of his ability to confront his wounds and use the lessons and trials of hurt and rejection to teach himself and others the value of healing and expansion. how he overcomes his flaws or wounds is mainly through self-expression where he partakes in astrology, music, art, service, and whatnot; but the general consensus here is expressing the wound or flaw in a way that "brings it to life" rather than suppressing it and further enabling karmic or evolutionary cycles.
so, where chiron sits in our chart is not only the area of our lives where we may have experienced rejection or illness throughout our lives, but also a more subconscious source of power and transformative healing that becomes inspirational to others. chiron is typically used in synastry charts where the mutual wounds between two people are analysed, but chiron can be used singularly, too, in informing the self where and how some of our more subconscious feelings self-restriction, rejection, and and limits manifest.
chiron takes about 50 years to complete its orbit, thus staying in each sign for around 3-4 years. it ranges, however, because some signs such as libra take around 1.5-2 years, and aries up to 8 years. the placement of chiron in the houses, however, change every 2 hours or so.
chiron in aries or the first house–
if you have chiron in aries or the first house, your life will reflect a greater lesson of understanding your identity, purpose, and method of self-expression.
your wound or flaw may surround your identity and body. for one, your independence and self-reliance may have been undermined as you could not develop your own sense of independence or "oneness" with yourself because there was always somebody holding your hand and keeping you under tight control. in some cases there may have been nobody at all – perhaps you were abandoned or left to fend for yourself quite young. bullying or physical harm are quite common here, as these later become very prominent lessons in establishing your inner resilience and values... if you can defend yourself, if you believe in yourself, and what you're willing to do to protect your autonomy... and so on. you may have a very poor self-esteem or a lack of confidence within you, proving to be your biggest obstacle to success.
fears of rejection may come from feeling rejected or overlooked during childhood. if there were feelings of shyness or anxiousness, these feelings may have come from being afraid to express the self. there may have been parental influences that encouraged you to act and talk a certain way that was completely unoriginal to you. you may have felt misunderstood by others because, in actuality, you barely understood yourself, thanks to the lack of real guidance you lacked in childhood. in relationships you may experience drawbacks or disappointments due to feeling misunderstood or not seen... maybe to an extent, you feel rejected because your needs for independence or personal space are not respected.
how you can heal this trauma or wound is through creating and following your own path. you will naturally gravitate to opportunities that enable you to be "one" and "whole" in yourself... further down the line you may teach others the value of independence and fighting for your beliefs and autonomy. by recognising the value in being rejected by others you can strive to become your own version of "value" and success. you learn to embody the belief you don't belong to anybody and that you inherently own the right to your own identity and space. your sense of purpose will be found through what you deem to be valuable or relevant to you. all aries/1h placements are concerned with purpose and meaning, and thus there is a more compelling and instinctive need to follow internal impulses and desires to achieve real satisfaction and power – through following what you truly desire, this is where you establish the real fork in the road and begin a completely new journey of self-discovery
chiron in taurus or in the second house –
if you have chiron in taurus or in the second house, your life will reflect a greater lesson surrounding your personal values, inner strength and worth, and your relationship towards money.
your wound may surround your personal values and how the use of money collides with these personal values. in almost any wounded taurus placement exists a lack of responsibility with money. in some cases money is used as a manipulation tactic or to buy others; in others, the self may be sold in return for material or financial security. there may be frugality or greediness, or at least a very dire need to hold on to and control money. money is used to compensate for the lack of inner security and worth. for you, you may believe money is an essential thing in proving who you are to others. so, you may put value on things society deems as acceptable and valuable, rather than following what you truly relate to or align with. the lack of dignity you have within yourself follows you throughout every other area of your life, such as in relationships or career, where you may have malicious intentions to secure money in some way, rather than engaging and building relationships with others. in romance and love, specifically, you may look for what others can provide for you rather than what type of person they are. this, in certain extremes, can breed a very selfish, egotistical, yet highly insecure individual that sees everything as something transactional.
fears of rejection may manifest in the form of needing money or material things to be worth anything to others. you believe you have little value unless you can provide something for somebody. you may lack the inner character you need to get on intimately with others because of your obsessive reliance on money or material things. you may limit yourself from love or relationships because you may think that, deep inside, you have no real value... no real qualities or traits that can provide happiness or security to somebody else.
how this wound may be healed may be through recognising how money o r material things have influenced your life and how you may eject the reliance of money out of your life. you need to realise the constant focus on money is not sustainable longterm and that, time and time again, you will find yourself suffering more losses than gain as you continually sacrifice yourself for the security and safety of money. you must establish what within you is valuable and how you, as a person, with no money, add real value to others.
Just like the phoenix rises from the ashes..
It's honestly so funny to me that in traditional Vedic books, whenever they have to describe a negative placement, they just go "the native with this will become a politician", a politician is the worst thing that a person can become according to Vedic, and if you have read hindu scriptures, you'll know why. (Literally mahabharat)
It's just something that I've found to be....quite..... Interesting. Politicians were never supposed to be as revered as they are in today's world. In fact, people's admiration towards a politician is one of things that marks the deterioration of society. Very interesting when you think about it.
Begging someone to give you the rights that should be yours anyways and then praising them for it....... I need to read more books on this. I'm fascinated now.
When your words have power over someone, let them be kind.
How to manifest acording to your Neptune
Neptune in 1st house- you can manifest your dream body, apperance, style, personality. Everything that is connected to you, it's essentially a part of you. Here you can manifest literally whatever you want. Everything you put in your head is like that. You watch a series and you really like an actor and you start embodying the actor's energy and then someone tells you on their own that you're a good match for them. The way you act is the way you are and also a way of how people see you. You can give people the impression and illusion of something you are not. This placement is associated with the energy of the mermaid. You can manifest self-confidence. You can manifest influence, inspiration, and personal transformation simply through being yourself, because others respond to the subtle, intuitive energy you radiate. People may feel drawn to you as if you carry a gentle, otherworldly aura. Self-expression through art, movement, fashion, or presence becomes a powerful tool for creating your reality. Your presence alone can inspire, heal, and influence others, and your personal identity becomes a living work of art and spiritual expression.
Gifts: You naturally draw people in without trying, others may sense something "ethereal" or inspiring about you, your aura communicates qualities like compassion, gentleness, or mystery, strong gut instincts guide your actions and decisions, a natural talent for visual arts, music, poetry, dance, or performance, you can sense unspoken pain or needs and respond compassionately, you can guide others.
Neptune in 2nd house- you can manifest money, wealth, food, music, places. You can manifest to live in comfort and have everything you want. You can manifest your self-value. With Neptune in the 2nd house, you manifest most easily when you stop chasing money directly and instead embody a frequency. Money, resources, and support arrive as a response to your aura, your creativity, your sensitivity, or your ability to make people feel something. This placement often manifests income through intangible or subtle channels: art, beauty, music, photography, poetry, spirituality, healing, fashion, film, branding, astrology, or anything that sells a dream, a feeling, or an atmosphere rather than a purely functional product. One of the most important manifestation lessons here is learning to receive without guilt.
Gifts: intuitive sense for aesthetics, ability to make money from imagination/charisma ,magnetic sense for what people will pay for.
Neptune in 3rd house- you can manifest things that are connected to writing, speaking, expressing yourself, poetic, telepathic, or dream wise communication. You can manifest compelling storytelling, songwriting, healing words, or educational work that feels like initiation. Conversations may carry deep meaning. You can manifest car and you can manifest things while you are driving. You may receive insights while half-asleep, walking, daydreaming, or listening to music. If you ever wanted to have anther sibling you can manifest that. Manifestation improves when you clean your mental environment. What you read, watch, hear, and scroll through matters immensely. Your mind absorbs atmospheres. Keep a dream journal and translate visions into short practical outlines before sharing; use editing or partner-review for publications; practice active listening but check facts.
Gifts: writing, speaking, calming others with your voice
Neptune 4th house - you can manifest home , a way of living. You can manifest ancestral healing, a living interior where music, ritual, and images transform family karma. Your private life carries poetic meaning. You can manifest things related to places, your mom, family or in general about how you live or the way you live. You are meant to manifest a home physical or emotional . This may look like a literal beautiful, quiet space, or it may be an inner refuge you carry with you wherever you go. This placement manifests powerfully through ancestral and emotional healing. When you release what doesn’t belong to you grief, shame, silence you free enormous creative and material flow. You manifest best through sensory and emotional rituals: music at home, lighting, scent, water, soft textures, prayer, meditation, or simply lying down and imagining safety.
Gifts: intuitive homemaking, receiver of family stories, ability to create a safe, dreamy domestic atmosphere, sensitivity to roots and lineage.
Neptune in 5th house- you can manifest art, romance, play, and creative children that feel enchanted. You can manifest inspired performances, love affairs that feel fated, and playful projects suffused with mythic meaning. Romance and attraction are also highly influenced by this placement. You can manifest love that feels fated or cinematic, often meeting partners who inspire your imagination or bring a sense of idealized connection. Neptune in the 5th can also manifest children or mentorship in ways that are spiritual, creative, or healing. Manifestation here happens when imagination and heart align when you allow yourself to dream, play, and love without rigid expectations.
Gifts: natural performer, visionary lover, effortless creativity for film, theatre, fantasy, or fashion.
Neptune in 6th house- Manifest: service, healing work, and subtle-body sensitivity in daily routine. You can manifest work in holistic health, energy medicine, therapeutic arts, or any job where compassion and intuition are central. This may appear as a gift for energy work, holistic health, subtle-body therapies, counseling, or even guiding people through difficult emotional or physical challenges. Your presence alone can feel soothing, and your work can have a profound but subtle impact that is often invisible at first. Ordinary tasks can become meditative or creative if approached with awareness and intention. You naturally attract opportunities where compassion, intuition, and creativity meet practical action, creating subtle but profound influence in your life and the lives of others.
Gifts: gentleness with clients, capacity for sacrificial service, inspired practical routines.
Neptune in 7th house- Manifest: idealized partnerships and soul alliances. You can manifest relationships that feel karmic, empathic, or artistically collaborative , partnerships as mirrors of spiritual growth. With Neptune in the 7th house, you can manifest soulful partnerships ones that feel fated, karmic, or spiritually aligned. These relationships often act as mirrors, showing you where you need to dissolve illusions and embrace compassion, forgiveness, and emotional depth. You naturally attract people who are sensitive, creative, or mysterious. At its highest expression, Neptune in the 7th house allows you to manifest partnerships that are magical, healing, and spiritually transformative. Your connections become not only a source of love and inspiration but also a mirror for your own growth and awakening.
Gifts: magnetism in one-on-one connections, ability to dissolve ego within a union, talent for romantic or artistic pairings.
Neptune in 8th house- Manifest: mystical transformation, psychic depth, and regenerative intimacy. You can manifest profound soul-change, access to occult knowledge, or income through others in subtle ways (inheritances, creative collaborations). With Neptune in the 8th house, you can manifest deep emotional and spiritual healing. You have an innate ability to sense hidden dynamics, fears, and traumas both in yourself and in others. Financially or materially, Neptune here can manifest resources in subtle or unexpected ways through inheritances, shared ventures, creative collaborations, or spiritual/charitable work. You can manifest financial help.
Gifts: natural capacity for depth psychology, transmutation of pain into art, intuitive understanding of shared resources, and strong intuitive research skills.
Neptune in 9th house-Manifest: spiritual philosophies, visionary travel, and teaching that dissolves limiting dogma. You can manifest belief systems, pilgrimage experiences, or public messages that feel universal and poetic. You can manifest understanding, wisdom, and opportunities that expand your mind and consciousness when you align with higher ideals. You naturally attract experiences teachers, travels, courses, or encounters that expand your worldview in subtle and often mystical ways. This placement favors connecting with foreign cultures, distant places, and ideas that dissolve old limitations and open the imagination. You can also manifest teaching, writing, or sharing knowledge in ways that feel inspired and universal. Your words may carry a poetic or visionary quality, making others feel uplifted or awakened. You can manifest things while you are traveling.
Gifts: charismatic spiritual teacher, visionary philosopher, ability to translate mystical experience into story and symbol.
Neptune in 10th house-Manifest: a public image of compassion, creative fame, or a career in the arts/spiritual media. You can manifest a vocation that’s less about status and more about serving or inspiring the collective. You can manifest a career that aligns with your higher ideals. This may include work in the arts, healing, spirituality, counseling, social activism, film, music, or any field that inspires or uplifts others. Your public image can radiate compassion, creativity, or mystery, attracting opportunities that feel serendipitous or divinely timed. You can also manifest recognition and respect through authenticity and service, rather than competition. People are drawn to you because your work and presence carry an aura of inspiration or idealism. Your professional success often flows when you focus on contribution and meaningful impact rather than status or material gain.
Gifts: career as an artist, humanitarian, spiritual influencer, or healer; people see you as an emblem of an ideal.
Neptune in 11th house-Manifest: collective dreams, visionary communities, and artistic or spiritual networks. You can manifest friends and groups that focus on compassionate causes, imaginative projects, or utopian experiments. This placement allows you to attract and create connections that are inspired, idealistic, or spiritually aligned. You can manifest a sense of belonging, collective creativity, or humanitarian influence when you focus on shared ideals rather than ego-driven social status. You can manifest dream communities and visionary collaborations. You naturally attract friends, collaborators, and networks that resonate with your highest ideals, whether in art, spirituality, social causes, or innovation. You can manifest social impact or humanitarian achievements when your actions align with compassion, creativity, and service. Your vision for the future can inspire others to act, creating ripple effects beyond your immediate circle.
Gifts: dream-boarding collective initiatives, and attracting creative collaborators.
Neptune in 12th house- Manifest: deep inner surrender, mystical union, and service to the ineffable. You can manifest profound inner insight, psychic gifts, healing through solitude, and connection to the collective unconscious. This is the most mystical placement for Neptune because the 12th house represents the unconscious, hidden dimensions, and the collective unconscious. You can manifest profound inner growth, psychic abilities, and spiritual experiences when you align with the subtle currents of life rather than trying to control outcomes. You can manifest deep intuition, psychic sensitivity, and spiritual insight. Dreams, meditation, and inner reflection are especially powerful tools they can guide you to opportunities, relationships, or creative projects that feel divinely timed. Your presence can also heal others in subtle, almost invisible ways, through compassion, empathy, and energy. You can manifest things through sleep or your dreams. This placement favors connection to higher consciousness and spiritual practices. Retreats, prayer, meditation, creative solitude, or service to others behind the scenes are ideal ways to channel Neptune’s energy into manifestation. You may also have a natural gift for channeling inspiration into art, music, writing, or healing work.
Gifts: strong contemplative life, facility for spiritual work, rich dream life, and capacity to heal through presence.
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Ludwig Wittgenstein said “The limits of my language are the limits of my mind. All I know is what I have words for.” but most of the sensations and expressions I resonate with, words have not yet been created in the English language.
baudelaire for the signs
Aries: “What can an eternity of damnation matter to someone who has felt, if only for a second, the infinity of delight?” Taurus: “Extract the eternal from the ephemeral.” Gemini: “To be away from home and yet to feel oneself everywhere at home; to see the world, to be at the centre of the world, and yet to remain hidden from the world.” Cancer: “I am the vampire at my own veins.” Leo: “Angels would damn themselves for me.” Virgo: “I have cultivated my hysteria with pleasure and terror.” Libra: “Swan-white of heart; I smile not ever neither do I weep. I am as lovely as a dream in stone.” Scorpio: “Do not look for my heart any more, the beasts have eaten it.” Sagittarius: “One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters… But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you choose. But get drunk.” Capricorn: “We are weighed down, every moment, by the conception and the sensation of Time. And there are but two means of escaping and forgetting this nightmare: pleasure and work. Pleasure consumes us. Work strengthens us. Let us choose. ” Aquarius: “Strangeness is a necessary ingredient in beauty.” Pisces: “The Poet is a kinsman in the clouds, who scoffs at archers, loves a stormy day. But on the ground, among the hooting crowds, he cannot walk, his wings are in the way.”
Jupiter went into retrograde in Cancer on November 11
Misty walks 🍂
Mercury in retrograde
I misjudged Mercury, Gemini, all that air I thought floaty fleetness, and that nothing could be concrete, from a heavily earth signed prospective I was completely wrong.
Mercury is swift and calculated. This retrograde has me analyzing every decision I make and have ever made, magnifying what needs to change. There is no escape with Scorpio in the mix. It has me looking at my daily choices and takes me down an avenue of memories of which personal influences have effected my decisions.
Why I choose to smoke this certain tobacco brand. Because in India someone told me it was the best brand to mix with hashish. I don’t smoke hashish anymore but I’m still loyal to this tobacco brand. I’m contemplating all the loose connections that influenced me along my journey, that made me the person I am today. Where would we be without one and other? The song by Yaima I first heard in a friend’s living room that instantly moved me. I still listen to them now even though I no longer have contact with the friends I shared that moment with.
It’s possible to be greatful for someone even if they’re no longer in your life. In the end it’s the joyous moments we cherish and hold onto they are the most important all else is eventually healed and finally forgotten.
Picture rose petals and marigold blooms, the remnants of offerings, float on the surface of Pushkar Sarovar, one of the holiest lakes in India by Christine Chitnis
House cusps