condescendingly mocking her while she humps my hand
"look at you, already humping my hand like a desperate little puppy. couldn’t even wait two minutes before you started grinding on me, could you ?"
"that’s pathetic. so needy you’re rutting against my palm like it’s the only thing that matters. go on, keep going. show me how badly that greedy cunt wants attention."
"aww, what’s wrong, angel ? is my hand not enough for you? you’re soaking through it already and still humping like a brainless little slut in heat."
"gosh, you look so ridiculous right now. hips twitching, thighs shaking, making those little whimpers every time you press your clit against my fingers. you’re really getting off on this, aren’t you ?"
"that’s it, hump harder. use my hand like the desperate toy you are. you don’t even care how embarrassing this is, do you ? you just need something to rub that sloppy pussy on."
"mmm, listen to those wet little sounds. you’re making such a mess. all because you can’t control yourself for even a second. how adorable."
"don’t stop now, pretty girl. keep humping like the horny mess you are. maybe if you put on a good enough show i’ll let you cum… or maybe i’ll just watch you degrade yourself a little longer."
Sub red flags: a checklist for less experienced Doms
Awhile ago, I wrote the above post explaining several red flags and warning signs in Doms for less experienced submissives to be aware of. This is the inverse. Written mostly for inexperienced Doms who are seeking subs, from the perspective of an experienced Dom. I would recommend less experienced subs read as well. My hope is that this post is a resource for others and helps to improve kink safety and understanding. Please remember to research everything you do before you do it and trust your gut. Don't do anything you aren't comfortable with.
Unclear consent/hasty consent
All kinks carry inherent risk. Some have physical risks, some psychological risks, plenty have both. Trust your gut if someone seems too eager to dive into something without fully discussing every possible angle you can think of. Don't ever run into something when you could walk. In kink, you aren't just consenting to the activity, you're consenting to the risks which the activity carries. Don't do anything with anyone who doesn't seem to understand that distinction.
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Dynamics are a two way street
One of the most misunderstood aspects of kink is the core element of mutual effort. Generally, less experienced people assume that the Dominant is an active participant, while the sub is a passive one, who simply receives whatever the Dom decides, getting off in the process. While this might work well in a Dark Romance novel it is categorically antithetical to real life BDSM. On a fundamental level, BDSM is a collaborative effort. Both the dominant and submissive are active participants, both have to put forth a lot of effort, both in learning about kink and safety and in actual scenes. While a scene might focus on a sub being a pretty doll for their Dom, just laying there and getting off, that should not be reflective of your actual interpersonal dynamic whatsoever. If a submissive doesn't believe they should have to put in as much effort as you, that's reflective of an unwillingness to put effort into your dynamic or your scene with them.
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Boundaries/safewords for doms
Just like a submissive has to consent to everything you do, a Dom also has to consent to everything in a scene. If a sub doesn't respect your boundaries, pushes them without permission, or acts as if your boundaries aren't as important as them getting off go play with someone else
"I have no limits"/"I don't use a safeword"
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REFUSING TO HONOR A SAFE WORD IS SEXUAL ASSAULT
Subs can assault Doms too.
This is fake. Everyone has boundaries. Some people like saying this doing scenes for fun, which can be fine roleplay, but if they genuinely believe it about themselves they are not emotionally mature enough for kink and are an unsafe partner. Run away.
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"Doms don't need aftercare"
Fake. Run. Unsafe partner.
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"Kink dispenser"
Subs should not view you as just someone who reads their mind and tells them things to get them off. Your needs matter too and all participants in a scene should be attentive to each other's needs and interests. You aren't there just to do whatever they want to get them off the same way they aren't there just to do whatever you want to get you off unless you have specifically agreed that you're both into that AND that the scene is going to be about that.
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Mental Health, Aftercare, and Drops
Your mental health is just as important as your physical safety in kink. Any submissive you play with must prioritize your emotional well-being the same way you need to prioritize theirs. There will be times when you feel weird after or during a scene or even bad about yourself. Dominance is stressful. Yours truly was once in a particularly harsh impact scene as a rookie Dom, realized how rough the marks on their thighs were, and experienced a drop feeling like a bad person even though they had specifically asked for what I was doing to them. It's perfectly normal to snap back to reality sometimes and end the scene for your own comfort. In fact, it is unsafe for your own emotional health to Dom anyone when you don't feel up to it. The correct thing to do is to communicate with the sub, pause or end the scene as needed, get feedback, let them know you need reassurance. Its completely normal and valid. If someone doesn't want to reassure you, that's a huge red flag
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Final notes
There are many "Doms" that are bad actors or abusers. They crave power over others not to seek out a mutual consensual fantasy, but because they want to stop other people from saying "No" to them, and have nonconsensual control over their life.
There are also many "subs" who are bad actors or abusers. Some are thrill seeking with little care for their own emotional or physical well-being, putting themselves and their dominant at risk by refusing to learn about safety or respect others boundaries. Some dehumanize Doms, essentially treating them like jerk off machine that doesn't have boundaries or feelings or require any effort.
Any standard you hold for yourself as a dominant, about consent, about boundaries, about safety, should also apply to any submissive you play with. No exceptions. Both Dominance AND submission need to be continuously earned, not given. If someone thinks otherwise...
Love how her collar jingles quietly with every hit, reaffirming every single spank I give her. Daddy knows best, and if she forgets that's why I have a lap to bend her over with.
Stop thinking, good girls don't need brains. Instead leak your brain out of your pussy, goon your brain away, porn and hypnosis are all you need. Doesn't it feel so much nicer to not think?
Lemme just say… this “online rape academy” news is fucked up. Without consent, this shit is abuse/assault and reprehensible. I want to be clear that what I like is consensual kink and NOT THAT.
If you follow me and think that’s fine, pack your bag and leave immediately.
vaporwave
titsay
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
dededos
izzy806
