my lif-e-book

everything about AWD's thought

[andk1000]

Illuminate. Just like 'Lumos', it's not likely turn to light without 'Nox'. https://www.instagram.com/p/BziL7gmhudKS0a5DcjdNw1NGmcI33XcEbQJXgU0/?igshid=1f6wrodargi4i

[andk1000]

Just how long does it bloom? . . . I've read somewhere that only gardener can decide whether its bloom time is the perfect. Eventho it struck by heavily rain or knock off by strong sun, but some flower manage to life beautifully.... in the hand of gardener. Ah yes, there are some wild flowers that grow strongly enough yet beautiful. The difference is whether its taken care of by others so it can bloom much longer or perhaps...shorter. https://www.instagram.com/p/BxxHpEYgpPBeOnAOLlUSaPhUnHHPZzEwcocDio0/?igshid=uof9nu1bknyz

[andk1000]

Butterfly Effect . . . I knew this term when i read abt physic. A small change can result a bigger differences in later. It's like a star explosion which blow up beautifully yet could change atmosphere of the entire space. . . . Or another example such as precious-thing you called love, maybe? https://www.instagram.com/p/BxUvdeuHOt5xXWZopzuAjWIUgY6mp2f0hk2JPc0/?igshid=1hauu4p6a4hnz

[andk1000]

LAST GIFT

I didn’t even want to open my eyes

To be honest, I couldn’t even believe it

Because our last farewell to part

Was just strange

I can’t help but to let out sighs

I’m scared, my heart is irritated

How am I suppose to believe you

When you leave without any notice

I don’t know why I can’t move on

My feet won’t budge

Today seems like a lie

One half of my heart hurts

The ring I put on your finger

Coldly returns to my hand

Along with my heart that I got back

Is the last gift

Of farewell

Do these memories only belong to me?

Meeting you was like a scene out of a movie

Why aren’t these memories letting go of me

Am I the only one in pain?

I don’t know why I can’t move on

I feel like you’ll come back

Are you possibly regretting it about now?

I can’t move my feelings

The ring I put on your finger

Coldly returns to my hand

Along with my heart that I got back

Is the last gift

When did we start drifting apart?

Where did we go wrong?

My heart won’t let you go

Is it really the end?

It’s farewell

It’s not easy for me

Just like my goodbye

My heart doesn’t work like my heart

In order to forget you

I’ll have to make a strong promise

So I can handle it well

The ring I put on your finger

Coldly returns to my hand

Along with my heart that I got back

Is the last gift

Of farewell

When did we start drifting apart?

Where did we go wrong?

My heart won’t let you go

Is it really the end?

You are my one last love

[andk1000]

Gratefulness

Terima kasih telah menyadarkanku dari rasa ego. Terima kasih telah mendengarkan suara semberku pada satu pasang telinga kalian. Terima kasih telah memberikanku opini sederhana yang justru berdampak besar pada entitas ini. Ketika kelompokku menyebut kedewasaan itu harus otodidak dan menepis pendapatku 'sy sedang belajar menuju kedewasaan' dengan mudahnya, kalian -kelompok bagian lain- justru membangunkanku kembali untuk melangkah. Ketika kelompokku membuatku menjadi anonim yang tidak diinginkan pada waktunya, kalian -kelompok bagian lain- justru mampu menaikkan otot di sekitar mulutku. Sy masih adaptasi.

[andk1000]

Labil

Titel itu sepertinya tercetak jelas di diri sy saat ini. Masih dlm jangka waktu 1 minggu dan bahkan belum mulai belajar secara efektif, disini sy sudah tercetak menjadi seseorang yg labil. Bohong jika saya tidak menghiraukan pandangan orang - orang di sekitar sy yang memicingkan matanya sebelah seolah sy tidak mempunyai kredibilitas atas pekerjaan sy saat ini.

Tahun pertama menjadi alasan sy untuk mulai belajar lagi dari bawah. Persetan dengan bekal yg sy miliki sblmnya karna kemampuan memahami lingkungan baru dapat ditulis menjadi angka nol besar.

Thick face.

Sepertinya kata itu yang sy sangat butuhkan saat ini. Menumbuhkan ketidak-pedulian terhadap orang lain sembari mengembangkan kepekaan terhadap sekitar. Kesal sudah pasti.

[andk1000]

First Week

Seminggu sudah bekerja di bangku sekolah dasar, ada banyak hal yg membuat sy membuka mata. Jelas nyata perbedaan dengan pekerjaan sblmnya. Ketika beberapa kali pola pikir sy selalu merujuk kepada pekerjaan sblmnya namun di saat itu pula sy tersadar bahwa tidak terlalu baik untuk sepenuhnya bekerja dengan pola pikir yg sama. Lingkungan yang baru, entitas lain yang juga berbeda, karakter2 yang menakjubkan dan banyak hal lainnya. Seminggu sudah bekerja di sekolah dasar. Pikiran sy selalu berisi bagaimana saya mencapai suatu target dengan waktu yang sy tentukan sndiri. Atau bagaimana sy merindukan jam pulang di saat matahari bersiap untuk tenggelam. Bukan ketika sang cahaya sudah bersembunyi di balik malam. Survive. Satu kata yang membuat sy untuk terus melangkah walaupun dengan beban yang harus sy seret untuk sampai di tujuan tertentu.

[andk1000]

I've pretended to forget (that it's sad) Though I've become used to it (It hurts so good) I can't do well when it comes to new love もう君しか愛せない 🎼Kimi no sei de by SHINee

[andk1000]

One of my top favourite things to do is talking with my father. It always works for me to keep me on right path.

[andk1000]

Heterochromia is a result of the relative excess or lack of melanin(a pigment) [cr.wikipedia] #heterochromia #coloringbook #raregirl

[bienenkiste]

Ph. Olesya Asanova

[andk1000]

Another good e-book.. #wattpad

[andk1000]

Move on

It is the biggest challenge ever and till now i can’t do that superb act. What if he didn’t move to their new house? What if he got the same high school with me? What if i confessed to him first? What if i ruined their wedding? What if i waited for him till he became widower? So many ‘what-if’ sentences that running over my head.

Because i keep thinking that its still a dream and i could wake up and changing the entire story. But no, part of my most conscious mind said that it is reality that you should face it. And then what happened with this big hole on my heart? That keeps aches whenever I see him. This longing feeling eat me alive..

But what i want is can’t i be a heartless one? Having no emotion maybe has advantage too.

[andk1000]

Pink flowers for wedding decoration

[andk1000]

A moment that i want to disappear

Like its title, i want to disappear for a while right. If i had good team, i would better perfomance. That’s what i thought.. but i know that coward act just makes me miserable. The fact that i dislike them (the moment they pointed their finger at me) it so hurtful..

[andk1000]

I had a time for selfie hahaha

[andk1000]

Beautiful scenes, good characters development, and nice story...