Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@androidantagonist-blog
Hey guys!
(( quick OOC note, I'm sorry I haven't been very active on GLaDOS, her muse has been evading me like the black plague recently OTL
on that note, though, I recently just apped Crash Man, so if you guys could go follow his account and make following the masterlist a bit less painless for me, that would be great!
thank you so much, and I promise I'll try and kick GLaDOS muse in the butt so I can rp her again and reply to her current threads! (âĄâżâĄâż) ))
GLaDOS (Portal) Cosplay by Aleksandra Bodler
Canti bent his knees a bit as GLaDOS patted his head; he was taller than her, and it felt a bit awkward for her to have to reach up to pap pat him, so he figured heâd reduce the height difference for her.
He nodded in agreement that communication issues could certainly be problematic; he knows heâs had his fair share of misunderstandings, but they usually end up working out in the end. Although those misunderstandings were mostly caused by being unable to speak at all, so he wasnât too worried about the occasional outbursts on his screen. He still took her suggestion into consideration, making a mental note to have that looked at when he got the chance.
[GLaDOS had noticed even before the tv-headed android had bent his knees that he was built significantly taller than her. Canti had told her before that he meant her no harm, but that didn't necessarily mean he wasn't dangerous. Was he built for combat? He certainly didn't look like it, with his awkward head and gangly, unprotected limbs. She felt a bit silly, now, for patting his head, and stopped, crossing her arms indignantly.]
"You're very tall for a seemingly non-combat android. Is there a reason for that?"
It was a victory for Quick Man, plain and simple. That same, smug smirk still played on his lips; he might as well have been doing victory laps. In fact, he might do some later, maybe in front of GLaDOS. If she thought he moved fast before, she hadnât seen him actually trying yet.
âSay whatever you want, darlinâ. This round goes to me, plain and simple. But if youâre as smart as you say you are, Iâm lookinâ forward to your counterattack. Maybe youâll even come up with somethinâ I wonât see cominâ!â
This was all to get a rise out of her, of course. Quick Man could tell she didnât like being made a fool of, which made it all the more fun to tease her. And the way she acted when she was angry, the was she folded her arms arms, the way the cold malevolence shone in her eyes, the way her voice dripped with raw, seething anger, it was⌠dare he say it? It was cute.
âYou say your mind is razor-sharp, but it seems to me like youâre gettinâ pretty tongue-tied. Somethinâ on your mind, darlinâ? Somethinâ red and lightninâ-fast, maybe? Heh, canât really blame you for that. Iâm a pretty fine piece of machinery- not as fine as you of course, darlinâ.â
He leaned in a bit, confidence growing by the moment. He didnât know what sort of danger he might be in by provoking GLaDOSâs wrath; he wasnât even aware a place like Aperture Science existed. But he probably wouldâve been impressed with the gynoidâs ruthless murder of nearly every living thing in the facility. Dr. Wily wouldâve liked her, probably.
âWhat kinda combat robot would I be if I used the same tactic twice? Sheesh, Iâd probably be dead by now. Again. But hey, you keep an eye open and your mind sharp, darlinâ.â
âIf youâre lucky, you might just see me cominâ next time!â
[Quick's unwavering arrogance on this subject, even after her scathing words, was beginning to spark a bit of anger within her. Even without knowing the full extent of her origins, GLaDOS couldn't fathom why this obviously lesser robot--built by some rogue scientist, probably, seeing as she didn't see any kind of insignia on his bulky red armor--would be so arrogant as to question her intelligence. Anger rising like a steady flame, she responded to him in a much more obviously aggravated tone than before.]
"That confidence of yours, I'm afraid, is terribly, terribly misplaced. It must be, for you to question my intelligence like you just did."
[If she was angry before, that rage skyrocketed when the arrogant Wily-bot spoke again, leaning close to her and taking on an even more cocky tone. GLaDOS was convinced now; this robot was a complete moron, built with more brawn than brains, what else could explain his refusal to submit under a clearly superior being like her? All he had to to was run a diagnostic--assuming he had the capability to do so, and if he didn't, that really wasn't her problem, anyways--to see that she was, indeed, brilliant, and also very dangerous. Unfortunately for him, there wasn't a single thing that she hated more than morons, seeing as one had ruined her life in every way possible, and that hatred began to crack her icy exterior, bit by bit, until the rage showed terrifyingly clear in her facial expression.]
[A distinctively mechanical noise broke the tense silence, emitting from GLaDOS's eyepiece. The lens seemed to widen just a tad, and the bright yellow optical noticeably brightened. Silently thanking the scientist that had installed state-of-the-art heat laser technology into this already powerful body of hers, the android gave Quick a look of absolute murder, far past the point of trying to insult him into submission.]
"You... you must have a death wish, talking to me, your obvious superior, like that." [Even now, GLaDOS managed not to outright yell at him, instead keeping her voice at a deadly low tone, which effectively conveyed more than screaming ever could.] "Luckily for you... I'll be happy to fulfill that wish."
A Pretty Red String [Closed/GLaDOS]
Like getting punched in the face, Wheatley came to. He felt small again and, only he would admit to this too, he felt dim. Which could only mean one thing! He was, once again, in his body. All that research was for nothing, it seemed. The bright side, though! Wheatley was once again Wheatley and he let out a bright laugh and danced a little jig because of it. Sometimes, it felt good to be a bumbling idiot. (Again, not like he would admit it.)Â
Wheatley wondered if it would be a good idea to access his optics to see what he - or rather, his body i.e. She - had seen over the past few days. Although, the obvious answer was to not do that. So, he didnât. Wheatley was happy not knowing what She did. He was happy to be back in his body and he was happy that he didnât destroy Herâs. He was so happy that he almost didnât notice a pretty little string tied to his hand.Â
âWhy, hello there!â He chuckled - oh how he loved the sound of his own voice. âWhat do you think youâre doing tied to my finger, love?â There was a vague recollection of some sort of folk-tale involving a red string, but it was too fragmented for Wheatley to truly make out.
âDid She put you there?â He pulled at it a bit, made a few attempts to untie it, before curiosity got the better of him. He wanted to find what it was tied to! Plus, and he may be imagining this, but he sort of felt a few tugs. So, off he went, carefully following the string and apologizing when he accidentally ran into people.
It wasnât long before he spotted the end of the string down the hall.Â
âOh no.â
[Of all the various situations the android had been through, GLaDOS could not even begin to compare the sheer, overwhelming relief she felt to anything she had ever experienced. She was back to her old self again--literally. Free of all the previous restrictions that the moron's body had entailed, her thought process was how it should be again; clear and concise. The android would've leapt for joy, had she been a lesser being who didn't have a reputation to keep for herself.]
[That's why, for a few moments, GLaDOS was close to completely unfazed by the string she found neatly tied onto her hand.]
[Examining it for a few moments with a perplexed look, the android took her free hand and simply took a strand of the knot and tried to pull it out. When that didn't work, her irritation started to surface and, knowing she'd feel little to no pain from the action, grabbed onto the dangling part of the string and yanked as hard as she could to break it, not doubting her strength for a second and waiting for it to snap under the force...]
[...Nothing. The string remained unbroken, as if she hadn't laid a finger on it. Now GLaDOS was mad.]
"What kind of foolish trickery is..." [The android trailed off, following the trail of the string with her eyes. Upon realizing that it ran underneath her door and, presumably, was tied to something, she got up, throwing the door open determinedly and striding as professionally as she could down the hallway, trying her best to look as if she wasn't chasing some unbreakable red string due to some embarrassing prank that likely one of the older students had pulled.]
[As if the android weren't annoyed enough, she caught a glimpse of the moron as she was trying to find the other end of this ridiculous string. GLaDOS shot him a look of pure death, an insult ready on her tongue as she slowed her pace to a stop to do just that--insult him.]
"I can tell you're lost, by the way you're standing around like an imbecile who's never seen a standard facility hallway. That's not the problem, however; the problem is that you're not lost enough to be completely out of my sight." [GLaDOS looked him over with a scoff... a promptly did a double-take. Was that...?]
[Immediately, the robot's face twisted in an expression of barely concealed rage, hands curling dangerously into fists. If there was ever a look that spoke of murderous intent, Wheatley was getting it, and the android's eyepiece narrowed dangerously, making a readjustment noise as the yellow lens got noticeably brighter. Whatever that was, it wasn't good for Wheatley at all.]
"I should've known it was you." [The android's voice dripped with all the venom her facial expression was holding back.] "Who else?"
Processors?âŚA laser beam gun? Who would need such things? Was there really a need for such a dangerous weapon on school grounds? Usotsuki did hold a lot of fascination to it though, despite how much of a hazard the device could be. Part of it was from her love for science and the other was due to her morbid taste for violence.
âWhat do you mean by processors?â she continued to question. â..andâŚdo you actually shoot stuff with that gun of yours?â
[GLaDOS could see the awe in those big, blue eyes of hers, and it invoked a twinge of self-satisfaction. People stared a lot in general, and it always made her feel good when those stares were from amazement. She would've preferred fear, but hey, she'd take what she could get at this place where strange humans and androids ran amok.]
"I'm a robot, you see. My brain is purely man-made, and therefore needs man-made systems to run them effectively."
"And yes, I can. Care for a demonstration?"
The man seemed to be having a hard time seeing, squinting his eyes in concentration at Canti. He must have dropped his glasses or something, Canti thought; that would explain why he was fumbling around outside so early in the morning.
Canti didnât recognize the man, so he was rather surprised that he knew Cantiâs name. He mustâve been one of the teachers, though he didnât have any of his classes. Canti didnât pull away as the strange man grabbed his wrists; he appeared to be positively hysterical about something and Canti wanted to help as best he could.
But before that, he needed to find this mans glasses. He looked around, scanning the area for them; he must have dropped them nearby.
[He didn't pull away, which relieved GLaDOS even more. She saw that he was looking around, and tugged at his wrists again, needing his full attention for this.]
"Canti, I need you to pay attention." [God, she hated this voice, hated how she had to actively try to not speak in a British accent, for it seemed to be programmed into this body.] "It's me. Y'know, GLaDOS, remember me? I really hope you do, because I'm stuck in my worst enemy's body and I have no idea what's going on. Do you have any idea what's going on? Because I sure don't."
[Her now blue eyes were wide with desperation, hoping to whatever god existed that he wouldn't think he was crazy. Oh, who was she kidding; she knew how crazy this sounded. There was no way he'd believe her, but she had to count on this impossible chance if she wanted any hope of getting out of this body.]
androidantagonist started following you
The being that had passed by her was a strange one. SheâŚlooked human. Mostly. The only thing that made it seem otherwise was the weird rectangular device stuck to one of her eyes. Maybe she was human and the device she was wearing was likeâŚsome sort of digital monocle? Well, Usotsuki knew that her hometown was not technologically advanced at all. The only reason she even knew what a computer was was because of all the science she had studied.
Wanting to know more, she approached the robotic woman.
âHello.â she greeted the woman. âMay I ask what that device on your eye is?â
[GLaDOS hardly looked at the girl as she passed by, noticing her stare. This was a normal reaction, especially for young children like her, so she didn't pay much mind. Â When she was approached, however, the android looked down at her, looming over her due to the girl's short stature.]
"Hello."
"Oh... this has no particular name, but it aids my processors, keeps them clean." [A brief smile and pause.] "It also serves as a laser beam gun."
Canti was out particularly early this morning, just to go for a short walk as he was rather bored and didnât need to sleep or anything. He enjoyed walking around the school early in the morning, before anyone had woken up yet. It was so calm and quiet; quite relaxing to do before classes started. Or at least, it was usually like that.
This morning, there was a strange man fumbling around in a panicked state outside of the teachers dorms. Canti quickly picked up his pace towards him to see what was wrong, his screen showing several question marks as he approached him.
[It took GLaDOS a substantial amount of time to even notice Canti's form looming over her, and when she did notice him, her vision was so blurry that all she saw a big, gray shape about twice her height--this body was significantly shorter than her own--and jumped harshly from fright. Oh, great, so this body's first reaction to pretty much any sort of surprise was fear. That was going to be annoying, she could already tell.]
[After a moment of squinting up at the immensely tall form, trying to make sense of it--and already hating how pathetic she must look right now--GLaDOS recognized him, eyes widening in relief. She grabbed both of his wrists, looking up at him desperately. Thank God this was someone she knew, or else she wouldn't know what she would do.]
"Canti!"
[Since GLaDOS was programmed to keep an entire facility under control without stopping, the android didn't exactly have a 'sleep' mode. Her energy level depended on what the current situation was like, whether it was calm or demanded her full attention. Right now, with the sun steadily rising for the early morning, most of the school was asleep, and she was calm. Sitting in a chair in her room in the faculty housing areas with her legs crossed primly, her eyes were closed, lost in a state of relaxation.]
[Her mind was deliciously blank for a bit, but suddenly, she began to feel strange. A decidedly ominousshudder made its way involuntarily through her body, creeping up her humanoid form like poison venom. It was a positively wretched feeling, and even after the action was over, it felt like the feeling had taken over her whole body. It was like she was... being restrained, somehow.]
[The android's eyes opened in a second, glancing around the room for any sign of threat. Her first initial thought was that she had felt someone else in the room, but there was no one to be found. More importantly, she felt even stranger upon moving her head, and feeling the air move past the left side of her face. Where was her eyepiece...?]
[Upon putting a hand to her face, she realized two things. One, her eyepiece was gone. Two, she felt like she was touching a pane of glass instead. She grabbed it tentatively, quickly identifying the object as she held it out in front of her.]
"Glasses... wh--"
[GLaDOS shot up from her seat in an instant, looking wildly around the room, murder in her eyes.]
"Alright, moron, I-- I know you're...--"
[Oh my god.]
[GLaDOS looked down at her hand, still holding the pair of glasses. No, these hands were too big and clumsy to be hers, and that voice... it was her own. She was speaking in his voice. What else could that mean, other than...]
[She was in the moron's body!?]
[Oh. Oh, no. So that's why her whole body felt like it was capped off and censored. Now that she had let herself feel it, it was an infuriatingly familar feeling. Except, this time, instead of being attached to an intelligence dampening unit, she was an intelligence dampening unit.]
[Seconds passed after this realization before she was out the door in a second, panic setting deeply into her newly restricted body, all the worse since it seemed to be more susceptible to human emotions, feeling sheer hysteria more clearly than she had ever felt when she was in her own body. GLaDOS stood stupidly by her door, eyes scanning left and right for a person, but, upon leaving the room, she had dropped the glasses in her rush to escape the room that suddenly seemed unbearably small and claustrophobic. Her vision was so blurred from both panic and lack of an eyesight aid that she couldn't see the person coming towards her, the android's once sharp eyesight now about as dull as a rubber ball.]
iâd say the hardest part about roleplaying GLaDOS is trying to find an alternative to her killing people while still being equally in character.
this is the second time where iâve had to think long and hard about a response to work around my museâs murderous intent. i canât just go killing off other peopleâs characters, now.Â
plus, itâs not as easy for her to kill now that sheâs an android. i mean, iâm pretty sure her eyepiece has a laser in it, and she was built with the strength to easily surpass any humanâs for obvious reasons, but another robot? thatâd be a bit harder, since she wasnât built for that; her strength is only there so that she could deal with unruly humans, and aperture-built androids.
(( (ďžâăŽâ)ďž*:ｼďžâ§Â reblogging this from my personal for GLaDOS's "headcanons" tag  ))
Maybe this human tradition wasnât so pointless and stupid after all, thought Quick Man. Sure, he hadnât actually felt the kiss or anything, but GLaDOSâs reaction was just oh-so perfect.
âWhoâd have thought that a quick mind would be a good match for a sharp one?â said Quick Man, chuckling. He finally let himself relax, moving his hands to his hips as a light smirk appeared on his lips.
âIâm a combat robot, so I think on my feet. That thing at the end, that was spur of the moment. If I couldnât surprise you, thatâd probably mean Iâm due for some upgrades, you see. What good is a sneak attack if no oneâs surprised, right?â
He could tell the gynoid was⌠embarrassed? Sheâd been smiling only moments ago, probably because she thought she had Quick on the ropes. Maybe she was used to being in power. If anything, it was charming to see the tables turned, to see her reaction.
She was pouting, wasnât she? Quick Man knew he couldnât let up now.
âYou say I should rethink it, but it worked pretty well, seems like. And donât pretend you didnât like it, I felt you touchinâ me,â he said, gesturing along his neck. âBut thatâs fine, I donât mind when a girl plays hard to get. I like a challenge, darlinâ.â
Flash Man probably hadnât done anything like that, had he? GLaDOS was intriguing all by herself, but there were definitely other lady-bots out there. But if there was competition for her, especially in the form of his rival, suddenly Quick Man was a lot more interested. No way he could let that blue-suited loser show him up.
âHeck, if you liked it that much, I wouldnât be against doinâ it again some other time. And I wonât even try to be sneaky next time.â
[Unlike Quick Man, GLaDOS did feel that kiss. Very prominently, actually. She was not a combat robot, she was an intelligence one, and a very well-made one at that. She had thousands of electrical nerve endings so that she could physically feel and be very alert to what was around her, so yeah, she felt it, alright. It was a bit overwhelming, in all honesty.]
"Hm. While it's true you surprised me, don't be so quick to think we're evenly matched." [GLaDOS crossed her arms. He was getting so, so cocky, all because of one moment of surprise, and she felt a bit--no, a lot--indignant at that. Didn't he know who she was? How... how dare he look down on her like that! Didn't he know who she was!?]
[...The thing is, he was partially right. He did just what he was programmed to do, and did it successfully. She couldn't... exactly be mad at him for that. However, his next accusation fired her indignance right back up again.]
"Wh--I was not doing any such thing, you're misinterpreting my actions completely. What I did was an instinctual reaction." [Realizing that didn't exactly help her case at all, she turned pointedly away from him.] "Tch, a challenge--you haven't even seen a challenge yet." [Wait, that wasn't helping much either--] "What?"
"What makes you think that I enjoyed that? I never stated that I did, and quite frankly, it was a bit of an overload on my sensory drives. Even if you do manage to pull that cheap stunt again--which, I assure you, that's not going to happen--you're going to have to do a much more efficient job."
Canti nodded, glad to be getting along with her so far. He had her class first thing in the morning, which might be bothersome for some people to have a math class so early, but he was a robot who didnât really need sleep so he was fine with it. He was looking forward to his first class with her, being a fellow android and all, plus she seemed quite intelligent and would likely be an excellent teacher.
Upon being made aware that he was pointing back at the woman through his screen, he became a bit flustered and had the image disappear from his screen, being replaced by what looked like blushing. How embarrassing.
He shook his head at the question about if he was trying to get her attention, trying to communicate that it was just a reaction to being pointed at by her.
Jeeze Canti canât you control your screen? Having things accidentally pop up on there is like the android equivalent of like, farting or something. Itâs rude. Stop it.
[So this object-headed android had her class, as well. He looked like he would be a good student; obviously quiet, and he seemed pretty loyal and obedient, so he'd probably get all his work done, too. An ideal student.]
[But--oh, what was this? Canti seemed to fluster upon her acknowledgement, frantically trying to communicate that it was an accident, which she picked up on fairly quickly. Well, it seemed this android still had a few flaws in his system.]
"Oh, I see." [GLaDOS placed a hand on the top of his head and patted it a bit roughly, making a faint banging noise, disdained a bit at how she had to reach up a bit to do so. Though he couldn't talk and appeared to have minimal control over his head's actions, Canti was actually quite a bit taller than her, a feat that most robots couldn't even achieve.] "You should probably get that checked out, it could be problematic in the future. Communication issues are a dangerous kind, indeed."
class (almost) in session [closed, GLaDOS&Wally]
Wally had never really enjoyed school much, save for a couple of subjects like science and gym, but he had to admit, he was a bit excited for his schedule here. The classes seemed interesting for once, and the teachers didnât seem boring at all. Plus, with his smarts, heâd breeze through his science classes and that AP Calculus class? Please! Math came naturally to him!
Still, maybe itâd be best for him to actually find out where said class was taking place. He still actually hadnât explored much of the school besides the boysâ dorms, the girlsâ dorms (totally a story behind that), the science hallways (and behind that), and of course, the track field. After using a map and asking for help, he finally found himself in the right classroom, but he was completely taken aback by who he saw there!
âIs there something you need?â
It was her! That android that had âhelped him outâ during the zombie outbreak a while back! He hadnât seen her again, but man just being near her riled him up all over again! Sure, sheâd only seen him in costume, but someone as smart as her had to be able to pick up his identity, right?
âItâsâŚI-Itâs you! Youâre that lady, from theâŚthe zombie problems! Youâre the one that thought I was an idiot, huh?!â
âWhaâŚwhat are you doing here?!â
[GLaDOS was beginning to get a bit irritated--the person who had entered her classroom was taking an awfully long time to respond, and she briefly wondered if the person had came into the wrong classroom by mistake. She looked up to confirm this theory right as he started talking.]
âItâsâŚI-Itâs you! Youâre that lady, from theâŚthe zombie problems! Youâre the one that thought I was an idiot, huh?!â
[Oh... well, if it wasn't the boy who had accompanied her when the school was overrun with zombies. The stupid one; she recognized his voice, raised in indignance as it always seemed to be. Was he in her class? He wouldn't come in here just to yell at her and then leave, after all--she didn't think he was that stupid. Fortunately, she had her roll-call sheet ready at her desk, and with a glance that couldn't have lasted more than a second, she looked back at the now normally-dressed student, donning a slight smile.]
"Nice to see you too, Mr. West."
[The android had to hold back a laugh at his final exclamation. This boy truly was stupid, to walk into a classroom in which she was clearly sitting at the teacher's desk, and ask that question. Still, she planned to take advantage of this, to get a suitably entertaining reaction from her arrogant student.]
"What am I doing here? Why, Mr. West, I..."
[GLaDOS cracked a smile so evil it could just about shatter the souls of any small children looking in her direction at this very moment.]
"I teach this class, so it's only natural I'd be present here."
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Quick Manâs anger made him totally forget what he was planning to do, not that he had thought very far ahead in the first place. But if he could think as fast as he could run, it shouldnât have been much of a problem, right?
ââDesperateâ is such a harsh word, darlinâ. But you ainât stupid, are you? Shouldâve known my tactics wouldnât work on you.â
He gave a small sigh, glancing off to the side for a moment. And then GLaDOS leaned in; if she thought she was going to play hard to get, Quick Man would find a way around that.
âNah, I wasnât tryinâ to be sneaky. If I were-â
Quick didnât even let himself finish his sentence; he was on GLaDOS in an instant, one hand under her chin, pressing his lips against hers. But he broke away just as suddenly as he started, taking a few steps back.
âNow see, that was sneaky.â
[Quite frankly, GLaDOS was hoping that he would try and deny it a little longer, make the entertainment last a little longer, but he sheepishly admitted to it a few moments after her blunt response. Well, he couldn't beat around the bush forever, she supposed.]
"I am quite far from stupid, you're right--I was programmed to be one of the sharpest-minded robots of my generation. You weren't fooling me for a second."
[A decidedly awkward silence ensued, with Quick Man looking away and exhaling briefly. Well, that wasn't very characteristic of him. What was he up to?]
[As GLaDOS gave him a slight questioning look, she had a feeling that she was about to find out. He was talking again, defending himself this time. He paused, probably thinking of something to follow up his defense--]
"...!!"
[She was dead wrong.]
[Once again, GLaDOS had been caught off-guard. This time even more than last time, because even for a few seconds, he was standing really close to her and their lips were pressed together and it was really unfamiliar and weird. Out of sheer reflex, the android placed a hand just next to his neck, their arms brushing a bit from where he was holding her chin up.]
[Before she even knew what happened, Quick Man had pulled away, reveling in his sneakiness as GLaDOS quickly recollected herself, only leaving a moment in her face that showed just how much he had thrown her off. However, she wasn't the kind to stay weak for long, and she crossed her arms after that brief moment of weakness, feeling a bit of indignance at both Quick Man and herself at this whole situation.]
"...Yes, it was, I'll give you that much." [Suddenly, the idea of silence became slightly unbearable to her. Sheesh, was it always this awkward after two humanoid beings had connected mouths for a few seconds?] "Were you planning that all along? I was beginning to get suspicious around the time you confessed to trying to be sneaky, which--hmph--you should rethink that part of your plan, next time you try to sneak a few moments of physical contact like this. It nearly gave you away."
