TW: a mention or two of Su1c1de, jealousy, possible fat shaming
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I'm jealous of this one girl, I find her as a good friend and I don't want to be jealous of her, but it seems like the whole school idolizes her completely, all the little kids love her, even the other class loves her, but I'm the opposite, some people like me, some don't, one wants to talk shit about me, and I probably annoy those two, why do I try to be like them? I don't want to sing or dance, I don't want to wake up, go to school and start singing some random ass christian song, I want to stay home, to where i can just be on the laptop, I wish that life was easier, where I could be loved ALL the time, I want to be like her, she's cute, pretty skinny, has a boyfriend and a fucking job, I'm the opposite, I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not cute, I'm fat, and I don't have a job, maybe my Dad and grandma might prefer having her instead of me, I do nothing but probably annoy them, I don't even listen to my grandma, so why should I even have her love? With me thinking about all of this, the only thing that keeps me together from ending it all is my father, friends, and online friends, that's it, without them I probably would be in the hospital for attempting, or maybe dead, either one or the two, it would be better anyway, where I wouldn't have to suffer getting in trouble, but if I died, I would probably be in hell burning my ass off, for commiting such abomination.
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