[To: Meryl Streep] help!!! whatever the fuck you changed your name to this morning, I need your help RIGHT NOW! LIFE OR DEATH!
[To: Elton Wrong] Changed my name? Darling, I would never be so crass as to disrespect my mother’s wishes. You know me better than that.
[To: Elton Wrong] Whatever is the matter? Shall I call the hearse now and save you the trouble of explaining? Or is this a real emergency?














