Glamorizing Sassiness

I accidentally follow by scrolling on my dash on mobile, sorryyyyyy. She/her (they is fine too.) Always writing and talking too much. Loud laugher. AuDHD auntie. Middle aged white bi fat lady of questionable gender and many an ailment. Hoosier turned Austinite. Nonprofit professional. TV/movie mega consumer. Extreme banana hater. Master of anxiety/adhd. I write long stuff at alynnwrites.com. I (used to) write at nerdyfeminist.com and I run whatbigotspost (formerly facebooksexism.) •••• I don’t follow kids, blogs without indication you are not a kid, or w/ significant NSFW content (even if you’re a lovely person) it’s just not my jam. •••• Don’t follow if you’re cool with TERFs, racism, misogyny, homophobia, etc...or if you have a problem with: pictures of food, cats, autumn, or beautiful fat ladies, also casual banana bashing or a middle aged person complaining about their IBS, endo, and other maladies. You were warned.

[anerdyfeminist]

Y'all ever heard me reference a former mutual who I'm pretty sure scammed "I need help" money out of me under false pretenses?

Every now and then they cross my dash still. I can't even remember why we unfollowed one another, I think they totally remade at some point and I just didn't go refollow their new blog. But they def came back as obviously the same user. I'm like 90% sure they rebranded under a new ethnicity and I seriously cannot stop thinking about that every time I see their username. I once happened to piece together their government name and what I searched out was even more concerning re: lying on tumblr about life experiences they couldn't have had.

I have no interest in a kerfuffle. I don't have proof or receipts to share. I simply know what I observed back then, what I was able to search out like 5 years ago and what I see now and. Well.

It's just the very definition of sus.

Don't worry...when they cross my dash lately it's just innocuous commentary. If I see any of y'all boosting their donation posts or if I suspect you'll be scammed next, I'll holler.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

do me a favor and plz reblog with your five most recently used non-face, non-hand, non-heart emojis

[yesornopolls]

Do you often ignore a friend's stupid opinions/claims or pretend to agree just to avoid drama?

Do you often ignore a friend's stupid opinions/claims or pretend to agree just to avoid drama?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 6 days 9 hours

[yesornopolls]

Do you live within 30 minutes of a city with a population of at least 500k people?

Do you live within 30 minutes of a city with a population of at least 500k people?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 6 days 3 hours

[anerdyfeminist]

It’s taken me 20+ years but I no longer word vomit a wall of (very through but) too blunt “WELL YOU COULD JUST” style unsolicited suggestions to my sweet soul of a husband when he’s struggling. He responds best to the “I’m holding your hand and listening attentively and offering kind and gentle input” style. A real “I’m just reflecting back to you what you already know in your heart, my love” kinda sap 😂😂

I have gotten a lot better at realizing when I’m riled up and I need to not take immediate action bc my energy to a lot of people when I’m in that mode reads aggressive. Or know-it-all bully vibes. (it’s much more trauma related “I’m fighting for my life at this moment and I don’t know why” than it needs to be.)I’ve heard enough variations on a theme in much gentler words from people to not have noticed this. My baseline intensity in those scenarios needed reigned in.

It seems so small, but I really do have to take a moment to celebrate the victory around the fact that I paused long enough today to not be mad about this anymore which allowed me time to formulate an actually helpful thing to bring to him. That worked.

He pretend yelled at me “how dare you be so obviously right and care about me” when I struck a cord. I feel silly typing this but it’s a micro victory I’m choosing to see bc I gotta get my progress celebrations when I can bc tomorrow may be “back slide” city.

[anerdyfeminist]

I'm sure I've rambled about this before but I am someone whose primary reaction to stress is to "over function" while my partner is a prototypical "under functioner."

He's having a very bad go of it in his career/business the past couple of months [contracts are scarce, gig work is non existent, castings are lowwww] and over and over his reaction (to my assessment) is to like sit around and wallow in despair and negative thinking spirals and complain. While playing video games.

I love this man but it's fucking driving me crazy. Since we both [mostly] work from home now, I'm observing this all and my brain is screaming 1.5M things that he could "do" to help improve the situation (dubious claim bc over functioning has its own pitfalls, I know). He's made it clear he's not interested in my suggestions and he believes that the problems he's encountered and their possible solutions are outside his locus of control. [Aka "it's the economy."]

I couldn't care less about that part bc to me, doing ANYTHING, (no matter that it won't will "fix" things) feels better than ostrich in sand-ing and doing fuck nothing.

Basically at this point, I want to shake him and scream in his face GO DO SOMETHING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD but knowing that'll result in........nothing good, I'll try to come up with another tactic instead. But like. For real. This man has ADHD and he is creating chronic under stimulation for himself and I am SO CERTAIN that doing anything would help his feelings and mood. Like work on script rewrites. Update your fucking business blog. Set up meetings w/ other creative friends to commiserateeeee come on mannnnn

[anerdyfeminist]

Guys, I tried the tactic of very gently but assertively telling him in a super kind way that I think that he is letting himself be so under stimulated creatively it’s snowballing w/ bad mental health. He’s basically just waiting for the next thing to come along…and he NEEDS to create. Something. To be happy. I was like “c’mon we know this” 🫣

And I think I might’ve really kicked his butt into gear, he’s making plans to go out and doing some more guerrilla type filming things to scratch the itch in the meantime 😂we’ll see. Plus he applied for a small gig he’s very likely to land.

[yesornopolls]

when you were a kid, did you often tell lies that had no benefit or purpose?

When you were a kid, did you often tell lies that had no benefit or purpose?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 5 days 14 hours

[squidsmeister]

Really cool day at the rainforest cafe

[studsandswords]

Guys I have an adult woman fetish

[grimoiremanifest]

Youre fucked in the head man

[yesornopolls]

Do you not dislike double negatives?

Do you not dislike double negatives?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 5 days 10 hours

[anerdyfeminist]

THIS IS EVIL 😭🤣

[anerdyfeminist]

I'm sure I've rambled about this before but I am someone whose primary reaction to stress is to "over function" while my partner is a prototypical "under functioner."

He's having a very bad go of it in his career/business the past couple of months [contracts are scarce, gig work is non existent, castings are lowwww] and over and over his reaction (to my assessment) is to like sit around and wallow in despair and negative thinking spirals and complain. While playing video games.

I love this man but it's fucking driving me crazy. Since we both [mostly] work from home now, I'm observing this all and my brain is screaming 1.5M things that he could "do" to help improve the situation (dubious claim bc over functioning has its own pitfalls, I know). He's made it clear he's not interested in my suggestions and he believes that the problems he's encountered and their possible solutions are outside his locus of control. [Aka "it's the economy."]

I couldn't care less about that part bc to me, doing ANYTHING, (no matter that it won't will "fix" things) feels better than ostrich in sand-ing and doing fuck nothing.

Basically at this point, I want to shake him and scream in his face GO DO SOMETHING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD but knowing that'll result in........nothing good, I'll try to come up with another tactic instead. But like. For real. This man has ADHD and he is creating chronic under stimulation for himself and I am SO CERTAIN that doing anything would help his feelings and mood. Like work on script rewrites. Update your fucking business blog. Set up meetings w/ other creative friends to commiserateeeee come on mannnnn

[anerdyfeminist]

I wonder if I’ll ever break free from bouts of negative thoughts about being bad baaaad that’s at this point from events 25+ years ago.

I’ve now had more time healing than I did being baked in a house of mind games, shame, and violence and yet it’s so easy to revert to what you were taught at 8.

Sigh. I’ll forgive myself and try again tomorrow.

[anerdyfeminist]

Nice brain: I know that I am always trying my best to be a considerate helpful kind person. I know I act in line with my values. I am not a “bad person” and that’s a reductive nonsensical framework. “good people” and “bad people” is a false dichotomy

Mean brain: but what if I am actually the one very bad person?

[anerdyfeminist]

I wonder if I’ll ever break free from bouts of negative thoughts about being bad baaaad that’s at this point from events 25+ years ago.

I’ve now had more time healing than I did being baked in a house of mind games, shame, and violence and yet it’s so easy to revert to what you were taught at 8.

Sigh. I’ll forgive myself and try again tomorrow.

[thememedaddy]

[yesornopolls]

Does it ever happen to you that a very gross, scary or immoral thought that does not align with your morals/political/values randomly crosses your mind and you get kinda spooked? like, why did I think that?

Does it ever happen to you that a very gross, scary or immoral thought that does not align with your morals/political/values randomly crosses your mind and you get kinda spooked?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 4 days 18 hours

[shabbytigers]

[inthetags]

Reblog and type out in the tags whether you or anyone you know experienced any well-known natural disasters