My heart was broken into pieces before;
I’ve been hurt heavy a lot of times. And i always had someone there to help me pick up the pieces. I never really understood why the “Cores” were so important to me why I gave them all my secrets and trust. Till today that i realized i had to sit down and realize why I’m so honored to have friends like them. And i thought maybe they deserve to be here too. This is for me. And the people who matter the most should be recognized.
Briana; though we are always at odds she’s the Bonnie to my Clyde. When Enrique would curse at me and call me faggot and verbally abuse me she was the shoulder to cry on. Briana although she doesn’t see it now is the one person who holds the biggest part of me and i miss her completely. She was there on my worst days and my best. She saw the darkest parts of me and held my hand and led me somewhere better. One day we will reconnect once she’s in a better place and I’m in a better place. She taught me to hope.
Leah; when i first came to warren i was broken and trusted no one after the incident. The guy i had feelings for betrayed me and my friends abandoned me and she was there. She didn’t care how long it took for me to open up she saw the person i was beneath and was there for me. She was bullied for always having a new bf even though it’s high school and literally those relationships meant shit. People used to call her whore and i would be there for her the same way when people called things she was there for me. She was a psycho but she’s my psycho. She taught me to trust again.
Dari; i was going through my first adult job and a sexual awakening. I was immature and spoiled and she taught me maturity. She showed me that you always have to be on top of your game. When i needed someone for a late night talk she would drive over all the way from the OC to be there for me. Though she’s probably the biggest one to push a relationship on me. I know she does it with love because she has seen me in love and when it wasn’t bad it was amazing. She is more of an older sister i always wanted. There when i need a realistic answer rather than one i wanna hear. She taught me to grow up but still be me.
Patty/Shanice; when i was going through my relationship with Tyler and his depression became mine. It became a burden to love and to care. The more i cared the more he seemed to drift into the fold of depression i couldn’t get him out of. It’s where i first learned money can’t buy happiness. He was a year of tears and regret. I fell in love with Jamie during that year of being off and on with Tyler and he ruined it when he saw someone else was gonna make me happy... although recently i found out Jaime only wanted me for sex. He only wanted to use me for my body then drop me when he was done. Patty leveled me out and was able to see passed my stubbornness and Shanice had accepted me into her family like a brother so i could escape to her home. Patty got pregnant and had to move far away.... and Shanice and i drifted a little after our argument. But we are better now. They taught me it’s ok to say bye.
Art & Robyn are not part of the core and it’s sad to say but they will never be... they were there for me later once i learned who i wanted to be they were there to show me how to be the best version of me. How to enjoy the world, how to enjoy every moment with your friends and family, and how to love without a condition. Art and Robyn mean so much to me. Frankly just as much as Briana means to me. They let me be me and yet still are there when i fuck up to guild me to the right choice but never take my choice away from me. We are all a bit broken but we hold each other together like glue. Art has literally became a brother to me. He almost even lived with me when his mom kicked him out. I’d do anything for that kid. And i know it’s vise versa.
My friends don’t realize this but they are what have kept me sane all my life since the incident. It’s been 7 years since that day. If we are being honest that’s the day i really blocked everyone out. I realized when i talked about my emotions people used it against me and hurt me and i didn’t wanna be hurt like that again so i reinforced the wall i already had. And all these people were there to help me over it. But myself . I kept myself in a tucked position unallowing myself to trust and look what happened. The wall broke and now i feel everything i didn’t wanna feel. I’m glad patty is coming back and I’ve been hanging with the girls so much. They all knew i bottled everything up and when i told them what happened they were just there for me. They knew how i felt and they all were just there. God i love my friends.
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