All my life I had a feeling that there was something Punjabi about me. My love for Punjabi music and dance. The fact that my favourite place in Bangalore was the Gurudwara and my love for Punjabi food (what led me to the Gurudwara in the first place).
28th November 2010, changed my life. I went from Kutty to Kudi. What changed you may ask. On 28th November 2010, I, Treassa Joseph Puthenparambil, got married into the Pathak Family. Now, to be honest, I was aware of the fact that I should not expect everything to be the same. I mean, Syrian Christians (Nasranis) and Punjabis don’t really have a lot in common, do they? I was about to find out.
For all those who have already presumed that it was my love for everything Punjabi that translated into my love for my Punjabi husband, ‘You are wrong’. Sumeet and I had an arranged marriage. That’s another long story. He is one of those rare breeds of Catholic Punjabis (Brahmin Punjabi Dad and Catholic Malayali Mum).
Basic change, I went from being Mole\Molu to Putr\Putri. All my life I have struggled working out who were my Chechis, Ammais, Memas, Ellaymas, Velliyammas, Ammamas and Ammachis, now I had made new relationships. Now I have Didis, Bhabis, Maamis, Buas, Maasis, Naanis and Daadis. Im still working out some of the terms for the male members of the family. I have to say, I think I have done pretty well remembering who is who so far. I went from one unbelievably huge family to another ridiculously enormous family. Win!(No cousin Vin, I’m not referring to you)
That was just the beginning. The red lipstick and red nail polish became my new best friends (and I absolutely LOVE them!). As a Malayali who loves her different shades of white and cream, it was eye opening to find out that white were worn at FUNERALS!!! Aiiyooo , I say ! Bling Jewellery and clothes, like what regular Punjabis wear, have become part of my life. I can quite comfortably wear a hot pink sari, with heavy crystal work all over at a dinner party and still feel under dressed. Oh I love my Punjabi side!
When you marry into a Punjabi family, your coconut oil changes to sunflower oil, your mustard seeds become cumin seeds, your coconut milk turns to fresh cream. Dal and potatoes become a part of your staple diet and parathas and Puris replace your idli dosa.
Everything is not different though. Nasranis love Gold and alcohol(amongst a few other things), and guess what, so do Punjabis. Maybe that’s an Indian thing. Punjabis love their food and so do we Malayalis. Punjabis love their family, and like us Malayalis, even though we cannot tolerate our families at times, we fight anyone who raises a finger against anyone in our family.
These are just few of the many changes, if I were to list them all, I could go on forever. But all the difference were best summarised by my late father. He said is he went from being ‘Josephey’ to ‘O Joseph-eh’.
More Kutty to Kudi stories to follow.