Alias @angelfisherr - Tumblr Blog

this isnt a bpd culture is thing but im curious. does anyone else w bpd have an fp that has npd? because my fp is a pwNPD and i am his equal person. and i want to find SOMETHING out there that will help me make sure that neither of us end up turning the relationship into an extremely unhealthy one bc i love him more than life itself and there is almost a spiritual connection between us that we both recognize and i am just curious if theres anyone at all that can relate.

does your FP have narcissistic personality disorder?

yes!

no.

unsure / they're questioning.

i do not have an FP.

i do not have BPD / other / see results.

Voting ended onJul 29, 2023

feel free to reply if you have advice for this anon or if you can relate.

goratrix-betrayed

I have BPD. My FP is my husband, who has NPD. Our relationship has been difficult, ridiculously so sometimes, but it has been well worth it.

My advice? Communicate constantly, but do so with each other's feelings in mind. If something they're doing isn't working for you, let them know before it gets bad and without blaming them for it. Frame it as something that Just Isn't Working and would be better for both of you if an adjustment is made. You need to make it clear that it's good for you both in the long run. And, again, I must emphasize: please, do this before the feelings get bad or a spiral occurs. Be proactive, but not pushy. It's a difficult balance and you will need to accept communication of the same sort back, but it will help you build a solid relationship (of any type) going forward.

The key is that neither of you can take requests personally. Don't think of the other asking you to adjust something as criticism, not liking you, or being upset--think of it as asking a favor, or working together towards a better future, together, whatever that looks like.

It is also essential to be able to say "hey, my PD is acting up and I really need some affection/attention/whatever right now, are you available to give it?" Being open and honest about your symptoms--and them doing the same--really does do wonders. However, you both may also need to learn not to get upset when the answer is "no"--and I know that's hard. I still don't handle it terribly well. That leads into my next bit of advice, which is making sure you have other people that you care about that you can reach out to when the other is busy or cannot help you. Full reliance on one person will never work, I'm afraid--and trust me, I've tried!

Navigating relationships with one personality disorder in the mix is hard. Two is harder, but by no means impossible. You just have to approach it calmly, maturely, and with the knowledge that your symptoms can scream anything they'd like about you and your FP, but you won't let them get the better of you. You have to work on your confidence, and I know you can do it.

Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions. :] I hope that that was at all helpful.

nahmanidontwantto

Listen I know this has been said time and time again but I need to say it myself. Not being able to access articles that do not demonize you is legitimately really dangerous. Trying to look up symptoms of NPD and coping with NPD and only getting narc abuse related articles is dangerous. Imagine trying to look something up in distress then immediately being told you're irredeemable. That's a terrible time to be told that. I remember trying to research NPD online and ended up having multiple anxiety attacks due to the things I saw.

If you want people to get better, let them get better. Let them recover. Let them learn about their condition without constantly being told that they're a menace to the world, that they're automatically abusive for their condition, ect. We're not trying to hurt you, we're trying to get better ourselves. Last of all, let other people learn about NPD without automatically running into stigmatizing things. Pwnpd need to be shown tolerance too.

iloveyoudeanwinchester

Chronic Illness Products: Tried and Tested by a Fellow Spoonie

Hey! I’m Rain, and I have various chronic illnesses and disabilities, including: POTS, chronic migraine, chronic pain, and chronic fatigue. The following products are some that have helped me with my symptoms!

Migraine Ice Head Wrap

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09BN7TV6N/?coliid=I2CB88I8424KRB&colid=OPCCR26R0SR4&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it

This is great because it can be either heated in the microwave or cooled in the freezer. It has gel in it and it is heavy so it puts a little pressure on your head. It also has velcro closure so it can be adjusted for head size and pressure. You don’t even have to put it in the freezer if you like it cold, because if you keep it at room temperature (my house is usually between 68-71 degrees F) it will get cold by itself and it can help for a while, about 10 minutes before it gets warmed by your body heat.

Monthly Pill Organizer

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09V53JTM6/?coliid=I2IBUBXDTRNU36&colid=OPCCR26R0SR4&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it

I hated having to refill my pill box every week, so I got 2 monthly organizers and use one for morning and one for night, and I only have to fill it once a month! I like this band because it is easy to open and each week comes out by itself so if you travel you can take just one week with you. I also like that they are all in a case and it closes for safe keeping.

Bed Tent

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07T4JV6ZT/?coliid=I33UE149JTQBTG&colid=OPCCR26R0SR4&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it

This is more expensive, but it is absolutely worth it if you have migraines. It has 6 zippers: one on each side, one on each end, and the top part of each end flap has a second zipper that opens a mesh area if you want air or light. You can close it entirely, and it makes it dark even in daylight, but it is still breathable and not stifling. There is also a pocket at one end that can hold a TON of stuff. I keep snacks and things in there for easy access. Finally, there is a little circle hook on the top where you can hang a camping fan or light if you want!

Cooling Neck and Head Towel

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JH4H5AS/?coliid=I3L6Z4MFFV2IK1&colid=OPCCR26R0SR4&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it

There’s a few different brands of these, and I couldn’t find the exact one I have, but any will work! My brother used this brand for when he played sports–I use mine to cool my neck when I’m nauseous lol. It stays cold for longer than just a regular rag and the water doesn’t get everywhere.

Neck Pillow

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09MQ416CR/?coliid=I34LO7QKQ5H4Z&colid=OPCCR26R0SR4&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it

Simple, yet effective. If you have POTS or any other condition that makes it hard to sit up for long periods of time, or a condition where you have neck weakness/pain, then this is for you. Riding in a car? Recline that seat a bit and put on a neck pillow. 10/10 much better car experience.

Cane With Seat

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DPOOCC0/?coliid=I133WRLIWPH40D&colid=OPCCR26R0SR4&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it

I have POTS, and I use a wheelchair for most places that require walking, but a lot of areas where I live are not wheelchair-accessible. So, I use this! If I feel dizzy, I can just open the seat and sit down for a bit until by body chills the fuck out.

Electric Toothbrush

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08LJNZW3Y/?coliid=I189MT1VEIKUTZ&colid=OPCCR26R0SR4&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it

It doesn’t have to be this kind, but since I can’t stand long enough to brush my teeth very long (or at all some days), I use an electric toothbrush to get a better clean in a shorter amount of time. They cost a bit more, but less than a cavity filling.

Shower Chair

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NM77DJ2/?coliid=I1SRRBS7ISI3E1&colid=OPCCR26R0SR4&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it

If you feel dizzy in the shower, or can’t stand very long due to pain, or for whatever reason, and are considering getting a shower chair, this is your sign to do it!! It has helped me so much and makes showering SO much easier and way less daunting.

Bath Pillow

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B9WG925R/?coliid=I1C4T2MUPR33WU&colid=OPCCR26R0SR4&psc=1&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it

I have chronic pain and laying in the bathtub in warm water can help with it, but it also hurt my neck to lay on the hard surface. Not anymore! I’ve also seen full-body bath pillows that would be GREAT but I don’t have anywhere to store it. For this one, I just keep it in the tub all the time.

That’s all I could think of at the moment, but I will reblog this with more items if I think of any! Feel free to add to this list yourselves!

peach-scented-chupacabra

Accepting myself, even the parts that hurt me, has been a struggle. But I'm trying.

Edit : including an image description that mod bright at @accessfashion did!

[image description: a thirteen panel comic about chronic pain in the artist’s legs.

First, black text reads: “sometimes all of the pain just gets too much”.

Beneath the panel show a pale person sitting and holding onto their thigh with both hands.

Second, text reads: “and I begin wishing that I could just exchange my legs for better ones”.

Panel shows a red book labeled “legs”.

Third, text reads: “maybe I could have a mermaid tail instead”.

Panel shows the book open to pages that show a fish tail and a text bubble that says “so many options”.

Fourth, text reads: “it would be beautiful, and I could spend all my time swimming”.

Panel shows a pale mermaid swimming away, surrounded by sea life.

Fifth, text reads: “but then I wouldn’t be able to leave the water…”

Panel shows a pale centaur facing away from the camera.

Sixth, text reads: “a centaur body would give me twice the number of legs, and I go anywhere I want without a car”.

Panel shows the book with a rearing centaur, but fine print reads: “caution: can’t fit in small areas such as elevators and household doorways”.

Seventh, text reads: “I guess maybe not everywhere”.

Panel shows faun legs with a bubble that reads: “smaller than a centaur! Very nimble!”

Eighth, text reads: “goat legs would be smaller, and I could prance about”.

Panel shows a pale faun standing facing away from the camera.

Ninth, text reads: “but I don’t think I could handle all the extra fur…”

Panel shows snake tails with a bubble that reads: “slithering is the new walking!”

Tenth, text reads: “a snake tail would be really comfortable to sleep with”.

Panel shows a Naga curled up with their tail falling into their face.

Eleventh, text reads: “but I would probably get myself tangled up.”

Panel shows the legs book closed again, next to a boba tea and a cat’s paws.

Twelfth, text reads: “maybe I’m just too picky”.

Panel shows pale legs extended in a bathtub full of pink water.

Thirteenth, text reads: “or maybe I should accept my legs the way they are, pain and all”.

Panel shows the pale legs bent at the knee, a black cat curled up beside them, and two bottles of pills sitting beside them.

End description.]

genderoutlaws

Leslie Feinberg + Minnie Bruce Pratt dancing | NYC | 2000

lesbianb

[image description: a black and white photo of minnie bruce pratt dancing with leslie feinberg, both wearing dark clothing. leslie holds minnie’s hand, both leaning close to and facing each other as they grin.]