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Angel / 18 / system ————————————— ! Read pinned b4 interacting !

[angelic-desolation]

I N T R O P O S T

> REWINDING VHS TAPE . . .

> SUCCESSFULLY REWINDED!

>> › SPIRALING INTO THE CHAOS OF THE ANGELS.. ‹

S Y S T E M I N F O R M A T I O N

> NAME(S): Angel

> BODY AGE: 18 [2007]

> PRONOUNS: Any/Hymn

> TYPE: Suspected OSDD & Apiconscious

> ORIGIN: Traumagenic

>> › NO MORE INFORMATION LEFT.. ‹

B L O G I N F O R M A T I O N:

WITH THIS WE ARE STATING THAT WE DO NOT WANT TO ENGAGE INTO SYSCOURSE. YOU CAN DISCUSS ABOUT IT BUT DON'T TRY TO GET US INTO IT.

PLEASE RESPECT THAT.

We will tag our posts as following :

Headmate's tag: #emoji > name

Rambles: #angelic.desolation.rambles

Art: #angelic.desolation.art

Source memories: #angelic.desolation.mems

System stuff: #angelic.desolation.systalk

D N I / B O U N D A R I E S:

Blocking freely in general + (OVERLY!!) political people

MINORS UNDER THE AGE OF 15, INTERACT WITH CAUTION/CARE.

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We've been trying to speak to each other in German but it feels so weird, dude it shouldn't be weird IT'S THE LANGUAGE WE EXTERNALLY SPEAK DAILY </3

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CW: System-related vent / TW: Forced splitting

Forced to split by another alter, just to get us out of a system shutdown

But now I'm in front, wondering what my purpose is

My task? My everything?

I'm homesick, I miss my people and now I'm stuck in this body, because someone decided a forced split would lessen the burden, but now I'm here, suffering and pulling everyone down with me.

I wish I was split with a purpose in this system

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There is something so nice about getting to design your own homescreen

It feels like home

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Me when I'm a system and I misspell or mispronounce something and my alters won't let me hear the end of it

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And here I thought I could rely on my headmates, sighs

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Shoutout to our alters who try everything to make me feel safe and comfortable.. i love our alters.. :]

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These two have frequent fights over main front, especially in their subsystem. Siiiighs.

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They still don't have a profile btw.

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Yeah, so basically this is how both, Anton (blue) and I (yellow) guide ourselves through stress - internally, lol

(For the sake of clearing up possible misunderstandings, I kept the word "preening" since it fits, considering I'm a semi-avian BUT in a platonic, comforting and trusting manner)

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Uahm . . Apologies for the absence . . but we had trouble coping with stuff .

Anyway, heavily inspired by @creaturesofthecreek (check out their blog ! !), we doodled a recent (actually, it happened this night) system experience and wanted to share it . . :)

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something i noticed is that our co-fronters or lurkers often make us verbally say "la lala!" when the main fronter is close to verbally getting angry

AND IT'S SO FUNNY LMAO😭

there were moments at work where i'd try to curse under my breath and i got interrupted by August making us say "la lala!"

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being a splitroject with source memories is so weird because wtf do you mean i'm the victim of "double it and give it to the next person"

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cw: vent related to dissociative amnesia

dissociative amnesia can go fuck itself, I THINK we experience mostly selective amnesia and we are so heavily disconnected from the emotions we have of our memories and sometimes with traumatic things, it's "okay"-

but holy shit we saw old pictures from our childhood where we look happy and we remember what happened there but when we replay that memory in our head, we are extremely disconnected from the emotions felt there

so many pictures where we were so happy and none of us are able to feel connected to the emotions of said memories

bro.. BRO.. :/

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note: i am aware that it's a decision that the individual makes and i DON'T want to change anyone's opinion, but i simply want raise a bit of awareness for personal safety

with that being said:

please be cautious about sharing roles online (in pk descriptions, prns.cc, whatever)

there are those "common" roles like, caretaker, host or gatekeepers, that don't really give you any danger when sharing those.

how could people ever use being a host against you, or whatever?

but emotion- and trauma related or protector related roles can put you in danger when shared, since emotions, trauma and protection is something that could be used against you when shared with the wrong people.

you don't know which people treat persecutors as an evil asshole, you don't know which people will stress those emotion- and trauma holders into who knows what, And So On.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

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forgot i wanted to go to sleep and now it's 1am

i am such a good caretaker guys, trust, i know what i'm doing