Crowley have Aziraphale a long inquisitive look when the angel asked him if he was a fan of Seneca’s, as to try and grasp whether the other was pulling his leg. Of course, as it so very often happened, that wasn’t the case. His Adversary had simply jumped the conclusion that made the most sense to him, for his lifestyle and interests, even if it also happened to be the more unlikely one considering that it was the Serpent they were talking about.
“No, angel. I’m not a fan of Seneca…Didn’t like him in person, don’t like him now that he’s dead. And no, I haven’t been snatching your books behind your back to read them,” he replied with a heavy sigh, hardly stopping himself from letting his head fall back to underline his exasperation. “You know that reading isn’t really my thing. I do, from time to time, but the works of some old rambling politician are hardly the kind of stuff I pick in those rare occasions.”
My Lord Satan, give me strength, were the words that almost left his mouth. He bit them back at the last moment, though, because invoking the Devil wasn’t a good thing in general and doing it while in the company of an angel was even worse.
“I know that quote because…Oh, come on, angel! Everyone knows it! It’s like…” He let his words trail off and cleared his throat, to speak the next sentence in a deeper voice. “Come with me if you want to live.” He raised both his eyebrows at the Principality. “Terminator? The movie with the robotic assassin from the future? Ring any bells?”
He was pursuing yet another hopeless cause, wasn’t he? He should know better, after six thousands years of friendship.
Not to dig his own grave even further, he decided to let slide both the issue of his nonexistent soul, because, no matter what Aziraphale might have said or thought, he did not have one, and his Adversary’s still obvious lack of understanding for anything that concerned the internet and related matters. It was not worth the trouble of continuing that discussion.
“Angel, as…ah, convenient as sharing a cabin would be, we can’t possibly do that. Not officially,” he pointed out instead as the Principality got up to fetch him the drink he had requested. Calling such an idea ‘convenient’ didn’t even start to cover what cohabiting with his Adversary would have meant to him. It would have turned an unwelcome job into a holiday of sort and, while he refused to think that it would have been enough to bring him to appreciate Alaska, it would have surely made his staying in the country much more tolerable. Bordering pleasant, even.
“It’s too much of a risk…I mean, what if my superiors or yours show up to…check in on how our respective missions are going?” He finished, and his tone said exactly how much he loathed that undeniable truth. “Even I would have some problem coming up for an explanation for why we are using the same living quarters.”
He paused for a moment, a pensive frown touching his face. “But maybe we could book two cabins and use just one of them. To avoid having to offer too many explanations while still being able to…ah, thwart each other more easily.”
Crowley nodded to himself, deciding that he liked that plan of his. They would have used the Principality’s place, of course.
“Oh, I think that a good bottle is exactly what my battered mood needs,” he claimed then, clapping his hands. “Bring it out, angel!”
“Well, I wouldn’t really blame you for not being a fan of him per se but his plays and literature are quite marvellous, don’t you think?” He asked this question hopefully, although was already starting to feel deflated. Just when he thought that maybe Crowley had come to appreciate the brilliance of literature... He huffed in an admission of defeat and rested his cheek clumsily in his palm. “Well, you are a demon. I would have thought you would be well inclined to adore individuals such as Seneca; old, rambling politicians ought to be your forte,” he mumbled carelessly.
This was followed by a scoff from Crowley’s Terminator reference. “I did see that one, actually,” he said a trifle testily, although he was actually being truthful this time, “but I didn’t watch it all because it was not only spiritless but positively horrid! And it didn’t make any sense,” he added, as if also irritated by the fact that he hadn’t really understood it. “There’s no wonder I can’t fit in nowadays if that’s what folks deem worthy of popularity.”
Crowley’s reasoning as to why they couldn’t possibly share accommodation in Alaska brought Aziraphale back into the present. “Oh...yes, no, of course. You’re absolutely right, dear boy, that was quite silly of me”, he seemed unable to mask his disappointment, despite knowing full well it was an impossible possibility. He was also a little embarrassed at having suggested it.
He distracted from the issue by rummaging awkwardly through his vast variety of fine crystal spirit glasses. But when Crowley broke the silence with a proposed solution, Aziraphale’s head popped out from within the cabinet. He looked thoughtful, a grin slowly turning up the corners of his lips.
“My dear boy...that really is rather good! I mean, they would never know, would they? How could they? And it certainly would make thwarting a great deal easier,” he chuckled.
Suddenly feeling quite optimistic, he was able to find the correct glasses with ease and placed them down on the coffee table, closely followed by the decanter of aged rum and the unopened bottle of malt whiskey.
“I think that may be a plan, my dear! Now, what will you have first as a toast?”