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@angryarmin
okay you know what fuck canada this shit is getting too complicated
anyway, ARMIN, it’s 2016 and it’s summer and it’s time for us to do something with our lives.Â
i was thinking of becoming a doctor over the summer, what do you think?
Eren, we’ve not even gone through undergraduate school?  I mean, your grades are surprisingly high and I guess you could become a doctor? Â
oh. shit. it’s the sixththth? are you serious? i was wondering what all those explosions were? i just sorta figured it was the neighbors getting rowdy again. well, uh.
…
happy independence day from canada?
....
I mean, they’re kind of rowdy all the time?  The upstairs ones, yeah.  And there was a lot of drinking?
....Â
I guess Happy Independence Day to you, too. Â From... Canada?
dude what’s wrong with wishing nice things on canadians. you got something against canadians dude. you don’t like canadians. what’s wrong with you.
I’m sure Canada’s a lovely place and every Canadian I’ve met has been pleasant, I guess, I just mean...
I mean.
-Glances down at the flag?-
Second of all, Canada Day was the first of the month.  It’s the sixth.  Did you miss all the fireworks for Independence Day?
erenyaegerbombs420 replied to your post:Eren, oh my god.
-just tucks a little canadian flag into armin’s pocket. there you go. woo-
-It’s just.  There it goes.-
First of all, we’re not even in Canada, Eren.
Eren, oh my god.
Really!?Â
Then what’s teleporting? Is it Halloween? Did Halloween move? Did someone move Halloween to yesterday to make room for Christmas?Â
You want some Kitkats?
Nothing moved, I promise...
I’ll take you up on the Kitkats, though.
Then Christmas is teleporting.
Shit, this is bad. How the fuck are we supposed to know when to like…celebrate it? We have to put it back, man.
We gotta save the Christmas.
Christmas hasn’t changed either, I promise, Eren!  We don’t need to save Christmas!
-The noogying stops.-
…
Armin…My dude…
are you telling me christmas time traveled? or…..wait
armin…
are we the travelers of time?
... No, we’re going through existence at the same rate as ever.  I promise.
i mean if you think about it we’re all time travelers, traveling to the future one second at a time
angryarmin replied to your post:Bruh it is Christmas
Oh my god, Eren, it’s November 1st.
I know! Merry Christmas, dude!
-He gives the most friendly of noogies.-
-He’s so small and easy to noogie?-
No, Chris--no? Â Christmas is December 25th??? Â Yesterday was literally Halloween? Â
-he appears to just reach into thin air and pull out a boom box from the void. it’s huge. it would probably require two people to carry it around the block. he pops in a cassette tape and lets it rip.-
-he starts breakdancing right there in front of this blond kid, looking kind of like a rooster scratching the ground to find some seeds-
-He needs an adult. Â What the fuck is even going on anymore?-
actually, i do, it’s pretty rad, you want to see it?
-he clearly isn’t wielding a boombox at the moment. maybe he keeps it in his truck?-
also cassettes are forever. this whole…mp3 thing? not gonna last.
I get the impression you won’t be leaving until I say yes, so... sure, why not?
Let’s hear it.
No worries, it happens to the best of us. And, I mean, if I saw a stripper walking around my neighborhood, I’d start asking questions, too. Like. “Whoa. Who does your hair? Can you give me a few tips?” Stuff like that.
Studying, though, huh…
You know. I’ve heard that if you don’t take breaks while you’re studying, you might end up doing poorly on your exams. It’s important to make sure you don’t drown yourself in work.
Instead, you could drown yourself in my thighs.
Well, I do wonder those things... Â Then again, this apartment building is really weird. Â This campus is just weird. Â Then again, my roommate and childhood best friend is a vampire.
...
Are you asking me out...?
[The Gay Thoughts Are Persistent, And Quite Unwilling To Depart On Such Short Notice.]
That’s okay. Technically, I’m off the clock right now, but I didn’t feel like changing out of my uniform. I was just in the neighborhood, is all. Unless you’d like a private show? I could give you a first-timers discount.
-THE RIDE NEVER ENDS WITH GAY THOUGHTS. Â But they do take a back seat for a moment.
Oh...!  I was worried I would... I-I...  I’m so sorry.  I just assumed all of that.  N-No, I couldn’t make you werk--work off the clock.  That’d be rude of me!  P-Plus I’ve got summer finals coming up, and...  Do you have a business card?
I kind of swear off p--I swear off sort of indulging in things on finals.  And when I’m studying. Â
I am not “full of hate” as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.
[Lifts his foot off the ground.]
[Lifts his leg up.]
[Lifts it up higher. Lifts it up above his head.]
[Poses.]
[The Filthy Sins Of This Man Will Debauch Your Very Eyes.]
-GOD HELP HIM. Â GOD HAVE MERCY ON HIS SOUL, HE CANNOT FLEE THESE GAY THOUGHTS.-
...  I’m sorry, I’m too poor to order a stripper, if some guy smelling like weed, Cool Ranch, and Mountain Dew told you otherwise, I’m really sorry.  Unless you’re here to have some of his weed as payment?  I cannot provide the cash needed for all your goods and services, which seem to be very serviceable and rather good on the eyes.  Or are you going to the room upstairs where that huge guy with the pigs lives.  He’s in room 520, not room 420.  Â
…
Well…cucumbers are sweet, so that makes sense. But then they become vegetables when they turn into pickles, right? And zucchinis are vegetables even though they look like cucumbers. They’re fake cucumbers.
It was cool as a bong though. Since it’s made of like…94% water, it’s like a water bong. You just gotta carve out the inside part of it and squeeze it a little and put a hole at the top and one at the bottom and then like…boom. Apples work like that too. So I guess…
Fruit also make excellent bongs, but vegetables don’t?
…
No…I guess…carrots might work too…?Â
Weed salad would taste like ass. But we could have a bong salad where all the things in the salad are actually bongs.
-He doesn’t have the heart to correct him about any of this.  He’s just going to go with it.-
Well...
We could have a fruit salad if you really wanted? Â That sort of is related? Â Like...
-Why is he even trying to pull logic out of any of this.-
I think it depends on the density of the flesh on if it makes a good bong?  I don’t think you could do the same with an orange, for example.
