You mention at some point in Sleep Training that Wukong used to walk on hands and feet (like- ya know- a monkey), since he’s technically not supposed to be walking upright, so you think it gives him back problems? For that matter, do you think Sandy has back problems from being out of the water now? Do the boys need Tylenol?
Awesome ask, overly long answer forthcoming!
Honestly, of all the boys, I imagine the one who most needs a Tylenol is Tripitaka: he is a middle-aged human who has been in the saddle/ sleeping on rocks/ getting tied up for days at a time, and he’s been doing that for fourteen years. Guaranteed our guy has chronic pain.
That said, I absolutely headcanon that Wukong had some Issues with walking & standing upright when he first left home. He learned fast that humans wouldn’t take him seriously on all fours. Like, even if he started out upright but dropped down briefly to a more comfortable position, they’d immediately downgrade their impression of his intelligence. Usually it was subconscious for them, but still: Wukong wasn’t putting up with that for a minute. This pushed him not only to change his posture but also to excel even harder, to make a point. I think his hips and back—and neck! Gotta hold your head up tall around all these oversized humans; last thing you want is them thinking you’re being humble!—hurt all the time for the first couple of decades, until he’d mastered some more subtle/permanent forms of shapeshifting, and started messing around with his own bones and tendons.
AFAIK, acquiring a human form seems to be an important step for most xian in Chinese folklore/mythology, both to show off their shapeshifting abilities and as a status symbol unto itself, to emulate the higher-ranked Heavenly immortals. So I always found it interesting that Wukong, who adores status symbols and takes every chance to show off, never once bothered with it. He stays firmly Monkey. This might be another example of his being cheerfully oblivious (there are lots of instances in the early chapters of the novel where Wukong’s ignorance of rank and protocol are played for laughs), but when I write him I choose to interpret it as a kind of defiance: this is me, and you’re gonna have to deal with that.
(It might also be vanity: unlike most other creatures seeking cultivation, Wukong is a monkey: a creature very close to human in looks. It’s entirely possible he sees humans as just…ugly monkeys who suck at climbing. XD)
Whatever his reasons, I think after all these centuries, Wukong doesn’t even notice standing upright as being harder or more uncomfortable. One notable perk of gaining “immortality” as defined by Daoism is that the inconveniences of mortality (aging, ill-health, pain & weariness, etc) are radically diminished. And Wukong has multiple layers of immortality!
(If he does need Tylenol, my HC would be that it’s for his eyes, which are very sensitive. Sure, he got a cool new superpower in the furnace, but it wasn’t one he cultivated himself, it’s a byproduct of the magical smoke. So I think if he is exposed to too many irritants or prolonged bright light or even if he overuses his Diamond Vision, his eyes ache and itch and give him headaches. He’s gonna be thrilled when they invent medicated eye drops.)
Wujing…I had honestly never considered the issues that being out of water might cause! I always pictured him as more amphibian than straight aquatic (maybe a mudskipper? A salamander? His Daoist element is Earth, after all), so I figured his body can handle being on land okay, he just needs way more water than the others, and is sensitive to dust and heat. I think it was @thecinnamoncheese who headcanoned him suffering from allergies? I love that idea. You could also put forward an argument that talking dries out his throat and hurts him, which is why he generally prefers to stay quiet. :(
Ao Lie’s only issue probably stems from how he hates wearing horseshoes. Also from holding in his Magical Pee for ten freaking years, good garbage kid, that’s a UTI waiting to happen.
Bajie’s fine but if he gets a blister he acts like he’s dying.
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