this isn't an ask tbh, but I think it's really important to tell you this. it's really personal though! so, apologies in advance if that makes you uncomfortable. I completely understand, and will not take offense
your fic, "How To Train Your Monkey", made me want to save myself.
I was so young but I was so, so tired. everything was just. I didn't want to deal with it anymore. when I saw Tripitaka going through a similar situation as me it really resonated with me. (with some notable differences of course- i'm not being kidnapped on occasion and thank goodness for that)
so. after I finished reading chapter 9, I looked up and let the tears fall for a solid ten minutes. I don't think I ever considered going out of my way to love someone. to be loved? too many times. but never to actually love. It seemed to work for Tripitaka, so I figured it was worth a shot.
after, say, 2 or 3 years, i'm happier. the circumstances in my life aren't perfect, but that's not what it's about. it's about giving love, and finding that it was already there for you.
and that probably wouldn't have happened, if I never came across "How to Train Your Monkey". IM NOT SAYING THAT IF YOU STOP WRITING, BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN NO NO NO (although I love your writing, it is so peak)
what i'm trying to say, I guess, is that I see how much love and care that you've poured into this fic, and how understanding you were to Tripitaka. I am so, so happy that, despite the lingering exhaustion, he has found someone, and eventually, people to live for. and by extension, so have I.
thank you for that
So, I've mentioned that I've been very sick for a few years now. Mostly I've been dealing pretty well--I've always had titanium-strength optimism--but this last month I've had to seriously confront the idea that I might be stuck in bed for the rest of my life.
Cue depression.
Quite a lot of my angst has been about feeling like I can't contribute anymore like I used to. I was very much an Acts of Service kind of person, and I did a lot of babysitting and house cleaning and elaborate cooking for my loved ones. I can't do that anymore; I may never be able to again.
But I got this lovely letter in my Tumblr inbox right in the middle of a personal pity-party, and it kind of shook me up. When I started writing fic it was for myself (possibly because I related entirely too well to Tripitaka feeling like a burden/ Wukong panicking about being needed). But now, when I'm feeling lowest, I got this reminder that, just like Anon, my circumstances ain't perfect but that's not what it's about. I can still make a difference.
So, uh, thanks Anon, I really needed this. And thanks to all you lovely awesome people in this truly fantastic JttW fandom. You make a real difference. Go find someone to love on; you will certainly find that love is there waiting for you, too.
















