no fluff in this house

just my personal fanfiction writing diary but public

[angstandsmut]

doing ballet research for my fic. i’ve been looking at youtube tutorials for pirouettes, fouettés and à la secondes for the past hour.

[angstandsmut]

that feeling when you write a scene and you know as you’re writing it that you hate it. 

[angstandsmut]

another thing that’s super motivating to me is that i have so many ideas for other fics lined up. it’s incredible, as soon as i started writing again i started having new fic ideas like every other day. there’s a one-shot i really want to do and an abo au and so much more. i’m super excited to get to them but i have to finish my current fic before i do that because i know myself well enough to know that i would drop my current project if i started another one. i might tell myself i’ll get back to it but i won’t. and i’ll do the same thing with that project then and the next idea i’m excited about and it’ll be a hellish cycle of unfinished stories. so i’ll just use that excitement to try to finish my current project sooner.

[angstandsmut]

where i’m at 12/19

at this point in time i’m about 30k in. it’s more or less 4 chapters. more or less because i gave up writing chronologically during nanowrimo and jumped around somewhat. i did a baby nanowrimo with an achievable goal of 15k, 500 words a day because i thought 50k might be a bit ambitious for someone who has only ever written short fiction before and just got back into writing. but it has motivated me so much that i decided to keep doing that. i have set a new 15k goal for december on the nanowrimo website because the word count keeping me accountable is very motivating to me and i want to get into a routine where i just wite 500 words a day, no matter what.

so the story i’m writing right now is m/m (bet you’ve never heard of a fanfiction writer doing that, am i right ladies? i’m really woke) and it’s intensely smutty. like monumentally smutty. but it’s not just porn, there’s also angst, hence the url.

[angstandsmut]

okay so this is just a way for me to write down my thoughts while writing fanfiction. I just got back into writing after years of not doing it because i got inspired by a ship. i’ve only ever written short stories before so this is the first time i’m attempting something long-format. i would like to chronicle that journey. it’s not gonna be super deep or elaborate, probably often dumb and/or horny. let’s see what comes of this.