after high school, hajime made it clear that he wanted a mature and adult relationship. it wasn’t like when you were dating in high school it was childish necessarily, but there were definitely some petty insecure based arguments. although, now that he was starting his career in professional volleyball, he needed a stable firm relationship. you were completely on board with his intentions and the thought of settling down popped into your head a few times.
you were a med student and he always had practice, which meant you would rarely see each other in the daytime. you didn’t mind it though, because he would make up for it at night. that day, the professor had to be excused, so class ended early. these times were very rare, so you took advantage by surprising hajime. when you got to the entrance of the building, you glanced upwards. you’ve never had the opportunity to actually see him during practice, so this was the first time seeing the layed out architecture. the floor was tiled with a glossy black marble and white furniture to accentuate, and the water fountain had four different knobs.
you gazed through the windows of each sport seeing professional athletes at their hardest until, you found your athlete. as you got to the entrance, you were stopped by a short brunette who put her hand up and stopped you.
“please state your business,” she stated.
you chuckled because you interpreted it as a joke, while her face looked serious. “o-oh, you were serious? i’m so sorry,” you genuinely apologized. in the back of your head, you were mortified.
“i’m actually here to see my boyfriend, right there,” you pointed just in time when he spiked the ball roughly on the ground.
“hajime!” you waved over. he turns around and smiles cheekily.
“he’s your boyfriend?” she looked down on the ground with her cheeks as red as a tomato. if you had to guess, someone might’ve gotten a little crush on your boyfriend. It was harmless though, and there was no ounce of jealousy because you trust hajime. that was how adult relationships worked-- or at least that’s what you told yourself.
“yup, for how many years?” you dramatically try to think back and look over at your boyfriend. “like a million” he responded, “that might be a bit short,” you joked.
as he pecked your cheek, he asked, “not that i’m complaining, but why are you here?”
“class ended short so i wanted to see if you’d grab lunch?” you asked, almost pleading.
“sure, just let me tell coach” he said while turning towards the team.
“you can’t just do that y’know.” the manager spoke quietly. “what was that?” you responded, literally not hearing her. “you can’t just do that,” she spoke in a louder tone.
“you can’t just pull iwa-chan out of practice because you want lunch.” she sassed.
“iwa-chan? out of practice? i’m still confused on what you’re trying to imply here... that i’m distracting him?” you say, still shocked that someone so bold would say that. when she was about to speak up again, hajime ran up to you, “all set! let’s head out,” he excitedly exclaimed.
during lunch, you guys both caught up. you told him about how one of your colleagues almost killed a patient and he told you how he almost killed a player with one spike. in the midst of your topics you brought up what happened an hour ago.
“hey, so your manager said something pretty alarming” you casually said, scooping up some rice into your mouth. he got weirdly defensive. “maybe you just interpreted it wrong” he responded.
“how can one interpret ‘you can’t just pull iwa-chan out of practice because you want lunch’ wrong?” you mimicked her high pitched voice, clearly starting to get annoyed.
“i’m sure she didn’t mean it like that, i bet she just wanted what was best for the team” he excused, putting a hand on top of yours to calm you down.
“best for the team or best for you?” silence.
“you’re not... you’re not on her side right?” you muttered, hoping yes wasn’t the answer.
“to be fair-” he tried to reason.
“do not finish that sentence iwaizumi hajime.” you hissed. this was when he started to get impatient with you, “i am freely to speak whatever is on my mind,” he grunted back. “not when you’re defending another girl who clearly has jealous tendencies over you,” you claimed, starting to think about that moment and paid more attention to detail. her body language said it all.
“did you forget how i told you after graduation i didn’t want anymore petty arguments? you’re acting completely childish.” he scolded.
“it’s not like i’m trying to initiate something, i’m just telling you how i feel!”
“and i’m telling you to not worry about it!” he barked back. “do you even trust me y/n? is that it, is that the problem?”
“it’s not you that i don’t trust, it’s her” you reasoned, tears slowly falling down your face.
“why? because she’s right?” his voice was sharp. he knew the right words to push you over the line.
“if you think i’m just a distraction, then maybe we should just end this.” you whispered, tears flowing even more. you got up, knowing that the whole brunch place was staring and left. in your head, you knew that this place was going on the black list of locations you’ll never goto again.
when you walked in to your shared apartment, the scent of his cologne wafted in your nose which you found comfort in, but it reminded you of the argument. you just needed to sleep, sleep was the solution for everything. it was an escape, and you sure as hell needed one.
when you woke up, the moonlight was gleaming in your face, signifying that you didn’t sleep through the night. licking your chapped lips, you cringed at the taste of dried tears. you felt a warm tight limb around your waist, and you recognized that arm anywhere. about to scold him, you turned around. he was asleep, but there was a slight glossiness to his cheeks. was he crying? never in your life have you seen this man cry, even when oikawa left for argentina. you decided to not say anything, and gently push his arm off. suprisingly, this only led him to wrap around you tighter, with his face nestled in the crook of your neck, which told you that he was awake.
“hajime, i’m still upset.” you scolded.
“I don’t think you’re a distraction,” he admitted. “It scares me sometimes y’know?”
your eyebrows furrowed, “what scares you?”
“how much i love you. when you feel jealous or anything it hurts sometimes because that means i’ve done something that’s made you insecure in our relationship. i’m hear to say it now, my usage of words like implying you are distraction was bad way to phrase that you are constantly in my mind 24/7.”
how could you still stay mad at that? hajime was too freaking adorable. you pulled his chin up, and kissed his pout. you could feel him smiling into the kiss, knowing that everything is going to be okay.
ushijima wakatoshi
ushijima wakatoshi is a very blunt person. you can’t blame him though, without his bluntness you wouldn’t have been dating in the first place. you guys were one of those couples who everyone knew were together, but kept it private. if there was one thing both of you had in common was the hatred of PDA. it was funny when you collectively cringed with him when you’d see couples making out in the hallways.
you couldn’t bash on PDA completely though. surprisingly, not everyone knew you guys were dating. definitely not yumi, the new manager of shiratorizawa, or so you thought. her, herself, was a new kid and automatically became popular due to her looks. you were already envious of this because you’ve lived in the district your whole life, only to be known as the girl dating ushijima wakatoshi. the one who could break that cold hard exterior. so when yumi learned about this role of yours, she made it her mission to become a pseudo submissive clueless girl who just didn’t know any better. she had the whole team tricked, even ushi’s.
the next time you saw yumi, she was wearing his spare practice jersey. before you could ask, tendou answered.
“during practice she spilled water all over her shirt just to get us water. isn’t she so hardworking?” his eyes had hearts in them.
“it was hot too, she was wearing a white shirt so you could see everything. sucks that she was only face the captain though.”
the captain. your captain. your boyfriend? the thought of him seeing someone else naked other than you made you uncomfortable. you didn’t like it at all. especially since now she was wearing his jersey.
“ushi can I speak to you?” you meekly asked.
“uh is it quick? regionals are around the corner.”
“yeah, it was just- i’m kinda uncomfortable that you saw her you know” and motion towards your boobs.
“it was an accident y/n.” he rolled his eyes.
“right, but i was just jealous? kinda?” you cringed at how dumb you sounded. you took pride in how stable your relationship with ushi was.
“look, I don’t have time for this yeah? complain about it to your friends or something i have to go” he pecked your forehead and walked away.
you let it go this once, it was just this one time thing right?
right?
since ushi had a very athletic build, he needed food to fuel him up, and that’s when you came up with the genius idea of daily bentos after practice. since your club session ended a bit late, you felt guilty imagining ushi waiting for you. when you finally got out, you saw him on the bench by the cherry trees. you smiled to yourself, “he waited for me.” as you were about to wave over, you saw yumi approach him. she was grabbing the jacket right next to him, which now you can assume was hers, and repositioned herself facing ushi. this must’ve meant that they had been talking prior to you leaving your club. although you couldn’t listen in, you saw the slight advances yumi was doing, comparing hand sizes, laughing at every joke, and even grabbing his biceps. ushi was just quiet. seeing all of this was enough for you once you realized your vision had blurred. you’re crying.
“oh! president Y/N, don’t forget the- OMG ARE YOU OKAY?” the new secretary gasped. This caught the attention of everyone, including ushi and yumi. you looked over to see ushi concerned, but yumi having a slight smirk on her face. you did what you did best. you ran away.
you could hear footsteps catching up to you, and you knew you were outran. as he grabs your wrists he asks “what’s wrong?”
you slow down and turn around, “nothing is wrong, but as far as I know, we’re done,” thinking that ushi would be relieved to be free to date yumi, but he wasn’t. in fact, you’ve mastered in reading him and it look like his heart just shattered.
it was quiet for a minute, and tears were endlessly falling. he wasn’t going to try and fix this?
“you’re not going to say anything? you’re not going to fight for me? i knew i lost you the moment i saw yumi-”
“what are you talking about?” his voice louder than usual.
“I saw it. I saw that moment by the cherry tree. you didn’t even set boundaries or tell her to back off, you just let it happen because you wanted it.” you cried even more now retelling him.
“I did not want it. I was waiting for you, she just walked up to me. I have no sense of who is flirting with me because I’ve only gotten one girl that I care about. I zone out with others. also, why are you crying? Don’t you know that I only love you?” your heart pounded for him. his way of words were not subtle, but it made no errors for miscommunication.
“you love me?” you whispered.
“of course, how is that even a question?”
you kissed him then and there. he was surprised at first, since you guys were in public. but soon after he melted into the kiss. he finally understood why PDA existed and why people did it. he made a mental note to kiss you more often.
you pulled away and he groaned. “I’m still mad though, you have a lot of forgiving you need to d-” you were interrupted by a passionate kiss. he never initiated something like that in public.
when rin told you about the new manager, you didn’t expect her to be blonde, curvy, and absolutely gorgeous. honestly, just looking at her made you insecure. the way all the boys gawked at her everytime she walked by. you didn’t care about the boys though, you only cared about a boy, your boyfriend rin. she’s with him longer than he’s with you. practices take up most of his day, so you only saw him once he got to your shared apartment where he was too tired to do anything that exterted energy. to be fair, you were fine just staying in, but imagining him with her during practices made you uncomfortable.
it was even worse when he’d go out to dinner with the team and her. you couldn’t remember the last time he’d even ask you on a date. you hated the way he stopped trying once you started dating. starting to reach the AMs when you called him.
“y/n?” his slurred tone showed that he was drunk.
“suna? where are you? it’s almost 12 am.” you scolded. how could you not? he’s drunk and with a girl that you were very envious of.
“first of all, can you chill? i literally told you that i’d be out with the boys, i don’t understand why you’re getting so upset,”
“upset? you’re literally out with a girl who’s very attarctive” you frustrated.
“oh i see what this is now, you’re jealous and you don’t trust me.”
“it’s not a matter of trust, it’s just i fe-feel uncomfortable and i oh i don’t know wanted to talk about it?” you started to raise your voice. the attempt to set a boundary has failed, and rather was replaced with you being the enemy.
“she’s my friend y/n, get over it because you’ll be seeing a lot more of her,” rin hissed.
“i’m not telling you who you can be friends with or not, but you have to understand where i’m coming from” you murmured.
“just leave me alone, i can be friends with whoever i want, and the last thing i’m going to do is let a bitch dictate that.” suna argued loudly.
it was followed up by silence, with a girl voice cutting in, “rin-rin let’s do this song together!” in a high pitch squeal caught the mic.
“oh so you’re rin rin now huh? i can’t be surprised considering how much time you spend with her!”
“well maybe i like hanging out with her. did you ever think of that y/n? it’s nice to have someone who wouldn’t nag or bitch about me, she doesn’t pry for me to open up,” he attempted to justify his actions.
“okay fine then, if she’s soooo perfect than just date her” words just started spilling out of your brain, and it was too late to take it back.
“maybe i will!” he roared. after he sunk in what he was saying, he followed up with “w-wait i didn’t mea-” trying to save his relationship.
“do whatever you want suna, whether you’re with her or not it’s not my problem anymore, i’m done.” you ended the call, tears freely flowing down your face.
you couldn’t sleep that night. pathetically, you’d hope that suna would at least give you a call back, or any sign that he still cared for you. but he didn’t, and you assumed that was your answer. you would reevaluate the relationship after a good nights sleep on the couch. you couldn’t sleep on the bed due to suna’s lingering scent.
when 4am rolled around, the door opened as quietly as possible. suna assumed that you were asleep in bed, and was prepared to join you. when he walked in the bedroom and saw the bed still made, he panicked. did you really leave? were you actually done with the relationship? he checked everywhere, the bathroom, kitchen, the basement, and not the most obvious place ever. he dialed your phone, and heard loud ringing from the living room. he slapped his forehead in stupidity and made his way over to you. his heart broke at the sight. the way you tried to fit your body with the throw blanket, unaware that you were shivering at the cold. your face was also pale, with dried tears on them. you looked so broken and so drained. immediately, suna carried you off the couch bridal style, and tucked you into the soft king sized bed. he then, moved onto his side and slid under the sheets. it’s only when he grabs your waist is when he feels safe enough to sleep.
five hours later, you awake with dried tears still in your eyes. you wiped them with your arm, and felt weight around your waist. once your eyes were cleared, it was suna. you let yourself comfort in his warmth for just a bit more, knowing that there’s a huge argument to come.
“suna we can’t just not talk about this,” you whispered into his ear, knowing he was awake. he hid in the crook of your neck, “i’m sorry. i’m so so sorry, please take me back.”
“i can’t just accept your apology blindly, we have to set boundaries or else we’ll never move forward.” you sighed while tracing circles on his bare chest.
“i’ll never even look at her again,” his face deadpanned. your laugh vibrated against his chest, “that’s not needed, it’s not really her fault anyways. how about, we spend more time on dates and devote days for each other?”
“anything, princess.”
sakusa kiyoomi
sakusa hated physical touch, the spread of germs with a single handshake grossed him out. that’s why he built a cold exterior to prevent many from getting close. however, when he met you, you happened to be the exception and you took pride in the fact that he was only comfortable with you. he’ll never admit it to you though, and claims he only ‘endures’ your hugs. although, you knew your limit, you would never show affection in front of people. if there’s one thing sakusa hates, it’s PDA.
so you couldn’t really blame the new cute manager for flirting with him, because it seemed like he was single. listen, you trusted sakusa with your whole heart, but you just wanted to see how he would react with a girl flirting with him.
you hid behind the door, eavesdropping behind the door.
“sakusa-senpai, can you please help me up?” the cute manger whined.
“can you not get up yourself?” sakusa groaned.
“no i think i twisted something,” as a girl, you knew exactly what she was doing and her execution was poor. you rolled your eyes, assuming sakusa too would know what she was doing.
but he didn’t.
“thank you, sakusa-senpai!” she squealed, and then what you can assume, she hugged him. because then it caught him by suprise, and they both fell together, with her on top of him. you didn’t hear him scolding her, rather he was laughing. he was happy with her presence when he wouldn’t even physically show it with you. you decided to just walk in and stop this.
amidst of their laughter, both heads looked up at you. “sakusa, don’t you have to get home soon?” with an eyebrow raised.
“uh actually sakusa-senpai it’s getting dark, mind if you could walk me home?” she babbled.
“fine, y/n you can walk yourself right?” he said casually, while packing up his things.
“y-yeah i guess” you stammered.
on your walk home, you were reevaluating what just happened. no longer did you feel special anymore. your brain started to overthink itself, why did they look better as a couple? and why was he so relaxed around her? was i just not the right person? has he found his true love? all these scenarios made you start to tear up. you were in love with the germaphobic man, for god sakes.
when you got the shared apartment, you immediately took a shower, knowing that sakusa was going to nag you anyways when you got home.
then, you started on dinner and chopping up some vegetables when you heard the door open. he nodded at you, acknowledging your presence and was waiting for the hug you gave him everytime he came home. but you didn’t, and he awkwardly just stood there for good minute or two. to your suprise, he was the first one to make the move. he wrapped his arms behind you and resting his head on your neck. immediately, you shrugged him off.
he furrowed his eyebrows, “is there something wrong?”
“i don’t know, is there something wrong?” you repeated his question.
“i wouldn’t know, that’s why i asked.” he bellowed.
you put the knife down and faced him, “you know i love the double standard of how i have to shower before i get to touch you, but that whore gets to touch you whenever,” you ranted.
“our new manager? you can’t be serious. we fell, it was an accident.”
“maybe you thought it was, but i know what she was doing because i, too am a girl. if you guys just ‘fell’ why did it take so long for you to get back up? why’d you let her touch you for so long?” you questioned.
“i wasn’t thinking about it, not everything i do in life is rotated around germs-”
“except when it’s with me” your voice cracked. “right? it’s when it’s with me, that must be it. that’s why you never show any affection, but it’s okay for you because you’ve gotten tons from me and her!” you raved.
he tried to wrap his around you, but you moved out the way.
“don’t touch me with that whore’s filth,” you muttered, turning off the burner and stomped to your shared bedroom, slamming the door. your insecurities were roaring on the inside. sakusa chose to sleep on the couch, thinking you needed space. but, that was the least thing you wanted. you wanted him to beg, or to at least apologize.
over the following days, you didn’t wait for him outside of practice. in fact, the only time he saw you was in the morning before classes and at night when you left leftovers for him in the kitchen. after the argument, he pushed everyone away, especially with the new manager. he only wanted one person’s touch, yours. and to achieve that, he had to put in some effort. that night when he got home, he went straight to the shower. you assumed it was just a normal silent treatment day, so you went to bed scrolling.
you felt the weight on the other side of the bed. knowing who it was, you continued to aimlessly scroll on tiktok. sakusa abruptly grabbed your waist and coddled you, drowning you in pecks all around your face.
“mh.. sakus.. sa.. mh..” continuously getting cut off with his cute pecks on your lips. you decided to let go of the whole manager situation, and let yourself to just be happy. you wrapped your arms around his neck and put him even closer to you. he then pulled away and you dramatically groaned.
putting his face close to yours, “i love you y/n l/n.” before continuing.
a/n: if you like this series please request some characters you’d like to see!
he wasn’t ready, and you were. face it. and now you’re running away. you proposed and he rejected you. that diamond ring you were saving up for months, was now useless. you didn’t know anywhere else to go except there. it was the only form of shelter other than your shared studio apartment with kiyoomi.
i felt the earth
beneath my feet
sat by the river and it made me complete
there is referencing a place. the tree house. at first, when you were kid you were the only who knew about it. you’d go in the mornings and bring your Dr. Seuss. one memorable day was when a strange boy wearing a mask started to climb up the ladder to your tree house.
you panicked and screamed at him.
“this is my family’s tree house estate... why are YOU screaming at me?” the six-year-old said while rolling his eyes.
“i didn’t know”
to prevent him from kicking you out of your safe place, you invited him.
“here come join me”
and with that, you read to sakusa everyday. even in high school, you guys would climb up and you would read to him. he would take a nap on your shoulder at some point, and the cycle would continue.
oh simple thing,
what have you gone?
i’m getting old and i need something to rely on
you couldn’t exactly pinpoint when you guys started dating, but it just happened. you guys both had feelings for eachother, so you assumed why not. dating after high school graduation, college, and then living together for five years. you guys were starting to get in the family stage, and he still hadn’t popped the question. you were pouting to yourself on to why he hasn’t, until a great idea popped in your head. he couldn’t afford it, right? that must be it you thought. so you worked extra long hours, and had to give up some time with kiyoomi. he had asked why you couldn’t, and you just said work. you took up another job in secret, so you could afford the best one for him.
i came across
a fallen tree
i felt the branches of it looking at me
is this the place
we used to love?
is this the place i’ve been dreaming of?
after running away, you found the old rickety tree house not seemingly being there. it was a property owned by the sakusa’s, so why isn’t it here? you looked around and found a wooden piece of the tree house. your eyes started to water, engraved in the piece was “Y/F/I Y/L/I, and S.K” your initials. you ran your fingers along the pattern, sobbing at this point.
and if you have a minute,
why don’t we go
talk about somewhere only we know
this could be the end of everything
you dialed his number, with your fingers still shaking. he picked up immediately, worried sick.
“Y/N where are you? are you okay? why did you run out like that? babe-”
“did you do this?” your voice tremored.
silence.
“so you saw it... it was getting old, and used.”
“like us?”
“what? wha-”
“come here right now.”
he huffed in agreement and ended the call.
this could be the end everything
so why don’t we go
somewhere only we know.
you hear his car brake on the side of the road. running towards you, he sat next to you. you, still holding the wooden plank.
“what are chances of ending everything tonight?” you whispered.
“hey, hey, we are not ending. we will get through this, get these thoughts out of your head. right now, i’m not ready for marriage. i can’t be suffocated right now.”
“so you think you’re gonna feel suffocated if we get married? we are getting old, omi. and i want to get married, if you don’t want to then this is the end.” your throat closes up on the last part.
you hear his sobs, now knowing your answer. this was really it. you wrapped your arms around him. wanting to stay like this forever. at the place where you both knew was home.
“i hope that one day i’ll be able to replace you the way you replaced me.”
it’s hard y’know?
hearing his squeaked sneakers and the click of her heels walking down the hallway. hand in hand, confidently striding past you. her strong perfume left a mark after her presence. smelling like coconut... tooru hates coconut. you remembered the time where you tried to switch up your shampoo and tooru immediately noticed when walking into your bedroom. hated it. made you re-shower and scrub extra hard to get that scent away. then the realization hit you like a train. he just hated it on you, but could bare it with her. he liked her so much better, that he could bare the scent he detests.
last week was the last time you called tooru oikawa yours.
after losing to karasuno, the team was in shambles. tears left and right. you waited for tooru to step out of the locker room and prepared to give him affirmations and affections. although, when he walked out there were a bunch of girls already hoarding him. you could almost laugh at the sight. these girls don’t know tooru like you do. they don’t know how he feels, acts, and taste. but you do. thus, you never worried or felt insecure around these fangirls. so, you just waited for tooru to come up to you. you watched him meticulously, as he was taking very long with a certain fan. if you weren’t paying enough attention, you wouldn’t have seen the girl slip her number into his pocket. he didn’t even notice her action, since she used excuses of why she had to touch his jacket. after the whole ordeal, he finally got to you. with you, he could let his guard down. the facade of him being a nice guy to all his fans were taking a toll on him. as he grabbed your hand and found somewhere secluded, he cried in your arms. you held him tight around his neck and your back started to get wet. soothing his back and whispering “i know baby,” were things other girls couldn’t do.
although, after this, tooru changed. you couldn’t figure out why. he started to become obnoxious and rude to kids who weren’t necessarily popular. the final straw was when he was acting this way with you. his girlfriend. the same girl that watched him breakdown on her lap the whole night. the same girl that he wouldn’t let out of his bed to get dressed.
you waited outside the gates to walk with tooru. at the entrance, you saw him with the girl that gave him her number. although tooru was being civil, she kept clinging on to him. viewing this, you felt a slight bubble of jealousy in your stomach. as he walked over to you, the girl immediately walked the other way. he handed you his hand to hold, but you weren’t having it.
“tooru, i don’t like that girl. she makes me feel uncomfortable.” you sternly said while walking.
him beside you, “y/n you’re overreacting. she’s just a friend.” tooru sighed like you always did this.
“do friends cling on your arm? or pinch your cheeks? or giggle at every single thing you do?”
“she’s not like that, i promise.”
“mhm... okay.”
you hear him murmur something under his breath.
“what was that?” you put your hand to your ear, dramatically.
“i said, you should be lucky to even be with me”
“what?”
tooru then rolls his eyes at you.
“did you hear what i said idiot? i said you should be lucky to be with me”
“how am i lucky? you think it’s lucky to only see you on weekends because you’re so consumed with volleyball? huh? is that what you think? and on top of that, seeing the whole female population flirting with you every single game?”
“exactly so you see these girls and you think you’re special?”
at this point, you couldn’t believe your ears, “umm yeah because i’m your girlfriend? i would think so?”
“and you think i couldn’t replace yo-,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, hoping that you didn’t just hear him.
oh but you did. loud and clearly. just then, you abruptly stop your walking. tears riling up your eyes.
“f-f-fine, if that’s what you think, then go ahead replace me. w-we’re done o-o-oikawa.” spewing his surname like he meant nothing to you. your back was facing him, but he knew. he knew you were crying. and yet, he didn’t seem to stop you nor apologize. in oikawa’s whole life, he never won at anything. he lost to a boy that was younger than him, more athletic, and overall a better setter. subconsciously, the only thing he could win was petty arguments like this one. but was it worth it? he’d soon find out weeks later.
in those days, you haven’t reached out to him, so he assumed you were over it and with his pride in the way, he didn’t want other students to know what really happened, so he decided to appear as the winner. the one who broke it off, the savant who moved past his ex and onto a new girl.
and that’s exactly why he did. though his outer appearance looked more happy, his insides were complete opposites. he hated the smell of coconut on her, or how compared to you, she was not funny. at all. she was bland and her humor was like speaking to a millennial on hump days. he couldn’t help but look over at you once in a while to see how you were dealing with the breakup. he couldn’t read you though, your face seemed drained out of pure tiredness, making you seem like an emotionless statue. during class, he noticed that your head hung low while tapping your pen against the table.
his new girl took notice of this, “tooru why do you keep looking at y/n?” she asked jealously.
as if he could not get anymore of a douche, his immediate reaction was, “y/n’s fucking pen tapping is so goddamn annoying, it’s fitting for her i mean look at her.”
you were sick of it. being walked on. being the butt of everyone’s joke. you were a ticking time bomb, and oh- you just exploded.
“well if i’m so goddamn annoying then maybe sob to your little whore the next time you lose a dumb shit of a game you call your livelihood, in which oh yeah! continues to remind you how you will always. be. just. second. best.”
the whole class erupted in laughter. your throat started to burn and his eyes widened in shock. you went too far and you knew it. you thought you would’ve felt good giving him a taste of his own medicine, but you felt guilt and pain. like his heart was yours, and you could feel it cracking.
“oikawa, y/n to the principal’s office now!” the teacher interjected.
as you both waited on the bench in front of the office, your principal decided not to call your parents, and let you both figure it out.
you spoke first, “listen.. for what it’s worth, i’m sorry. i’m sorry for saying all those rude things. i’m sorry for calling you second best. i’m sorry for belittling your passions. i’m sorry for not being a good girlfriend. i’m sorry for not being enough-” your voice started to get shake-y.
“god you just don’t shut up do you?” oikawa chuckled. you smiled a bit in return.
“y/n.. i don’t know where to start. no one has ever seen me so vulnerable, and you being there scared me. i didn’t deserve you, someone like kageyama did. you deserve a winner. i didn’t want to be someone you’d resent or find ‘too sensitive’ so i put myself first and for that i’m sorry. really sorry… and i miss you,” he hesitated for a second before continuing, “could you ever see us together again?”
you were speechless. so speechless you didn’t realize your hand meeting his face. your eyes widened in shock.
“i guess i deserved that.” he clenched his jaw.
“how dare you? how fucking dare you? sure i can forgive you, as a peer. but to start up what we have? what we had? you’re crazy. if you truly thought that i would what? think you’re ‘too sensitive’ then you don’t know me at all. safe to say if this how you react when shit hits the fan i don’t want to know what would’ve happened if we got married.”
his eyes lit up at the word ‘married’. what could’ve been if he’d just allow himself to be vulnerable and not have high standards for himself.
“i will always love you oikawa, but never in that way again. and for that, i’m sorry.” you got up, head held high with your back facing to him. specifically because tears were burning your cheeks. one more minute with him and you would’ve folded and taken him back.
another another update: we broke up. good news is that there’s more angst for y’all because I’m projecting myself and issues into 2D characters. life is um yeah. anyways stay tuned!
Different girl every night and no repeats; that was the rule of law Atsumu Miya lived by. Whether it was Asians, Whites, or Black girls he didn’t discriminate. If they had a beating heart and a pussy then he was set. Hearing about these conquests as his best friend, really made you think ‘wow who’s the poor that let Atsumu put his dick in that night?’ And as you would find it, soon enough it’d be you.
Different girl every night and no repeats; that was the rule of law Atsumu Miya lived by. Whether it was Asians, Whites, or Black girls he didn’t discriminate. If they had a beating heart and a pussy then he was set. Hearing about these conquests as his best friend, really made you think ‘wow who’s the poor that let Atsumu put his dick in that night?’ And as you would find it, soon enough it’d be you.
Media portrayal of college students, especially in movies, falsely portrayed college students and gave unrealistic ideas of how they live. These media outlets give impractical ideas of what college students are- intense party seekers, people who have all the time in the world, or just lazy nonworking students who revolve everything around their social lives. This was, by all means not true.
You, and many other diligent college students, can attest to this. The heavy number of finals and research papers due would soon drown you in your sleep. To prevent you from feeling overwhelmed, you always went to him. The one person who could talk your ear off, which though annoying, kept your mind off things, Miya Atsumu. See, Atsumu had the ultimate college experience. The ones that occurred on screen, the ‘intense party seeking’ events where somehow your invite was always lost in the mail. Every Wednesday, you’d always fit him into your schedule for brunch, which mostly consisted of him talking about the ‘new freshman babes’ at the Inarizaki Frat House, and you lived vicariously through him, not because you were envious of his lifestyle, rather, you were just interested in what could’ve been.
“Did you get that Y/N?” Your thoughts were interrupted.
“U-uh, yeah! Of course, I did.” You tried playing it off, but Atsumu could see right through you. He knew all your mannerisms, for example, when you bite your lip, it’s a sign that you’re prepared for a big change or if you handball your T-Shirt, you’re feeling insecure. He could tell you had something weighing in on you, but he decided to ignore your blatant lie and wait for you to tell him.
“So, are you gonna tell how you’ve been doin’?” He lightly asked.
“Yeah, uh life has been hard for me… I guess. It’s just that- with all these finals I am feeling so overwhelmed,” you buried your face in your hands to attempt forgetting about school. Knowing Atsumu, he would just drown out your sorrow, or so you thought. You continued, “I can’t eat, sleep, or you know-,” not even acknowledging the fact you just referred about your inability to get off. Atsumu became was suspiciously quiet.
“What,” you furrowed your eyebrows. “Nothing, Nothing,” he shook his head, chuckling.
“No, seriously what’s so funny?”
“You really want to know?”
“Yes.”
“Ya’ reeeaaaallly want to know?”
“I said yes already, just spit it out,” you irritated with anticipation.
“I could help your little issue down there,” Atsumu grinned. Studying? When has Atsumu Miya ever wanted to study with you? The only reason he got into this school was because he was a D1 athlete. Unless, he turned a new leaf and he chose a path where you don’t slap a ball back and forth because quite frankly you thought that it was risky caree- Oh. That little issue. “You’ve got to be kidding, I would never,” you felt offended. It wasn’t that he was ugly, it was quite the opposite. He had a charming personality, while also being built like a Greek God, and with a face like that it’s no wonder these girls fall for him. However, you felt too prideful to sleep with him. Sure, you may have some underlying feelings for him that you shut down deep inside, but you didn’t want to be treated like a human toy. So, that thought was always out of the question.
“Never say n-” He was interrupted with his corny ringtone.
“Hello?... Yeah, I’m free, right now… Alright, see you then.”
Atsumu always did this, it was like clockwork. He’d bail on you when you clearly were in distress and he could not even prioritize time to listen. He even, left you with the check. Sure, he’d Venmo you afterwards, but it still hurt nonetheless. On the walk back to your dorm, your thoughts were full of cursing Atsumu out for always bailing on you. Holding it in for so long only lasted you so much before you exploded.
That night, Atsumu came over, not even expecting your wrath.
An hour in, and he still couldn’t understand your argument. “Atsumu, if you could just.. I don’t know- not bail on me? Cause you know, it’s common courtesy!” You exclaimed.
“Dude, it was literally just a few times, I don’t know why you’re getting so upset?”
“Upset? Upset? Upset is an understatement. How would you feel if I dropped you for some dick?”
“Like that would ever happen. C’mon, Y/N, you’re acting like my girlfriend and I’m uncomfortable.” He blurted, frustrated that this argument has lasted almost two hours. He just rejected you, and you didn’t even get the chance to even address those feelings.
“Get out.”
“You know I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I don’t care, get out.” You wiped a treacherous tear from your eye. You opened the door, and gestured him to leave. But, he just stood there. Moving over to him in tears, you tried to push him out. Your measly arms were incomparable to his toned abs that he’s built since high school. He grasped your arms, and for a moment you could feel his padded thumb, wiping your cheek. Your faces were only a few inches away. This was your chance to get a taste of him, before he turned into a stranger. You leaned in his lips.
The lack of return made your heart drop. You let go and rambled with apologies,“I-I’m so sorry. Look, I-” He shut you up with another kiss, more passionate than yours. “I told ya’ I could fix that little issue of yours.”
The morning after, you woke up with your body aching in pain. Drool all over your chin, and in disgust, you wiped your mouth and skimmed your calendar. ‘The biomedical final isn’t at 10, it’s at 8-’ whispering to yourself. Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. Then, you slowly gazed at your alarm clock, ‘7:57 AM’ it read.
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” you screamed to yourself. Without thinking, you dashed out the door and sped to the testing center. At the entrance, your professor met eyes with you. “Testing entry is closed, I thought you were better than this, Y/N.” Scolding you up and down. I only missed the final by a couple of minutes, why is she shunning me? You thought. But before you could continue, you looked down. There you were, love marks all over, in your panties and an oversized T-shirt to top it off.
You rushed into your dorm, to find the vampire who did this to you. The universe was seemingly against you once more, because on your way over to your bedroom, you slipped on a textbook. How ironic. The loud slam woke him up, making him sit upright. “Oh my God Y/N are you okay?” He said with a concerned look on his face.
“Why the fuck are you still in my bed?”
“Well if you wanna know the details-” He smirked, “No no no, I’m okay,” you interrupted him. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to understand what went on.
You felt blood drip on your upper lip. Both of you just stared in shock. Immediately, he swiped you up, bridal style, and plopped you onto the sink. He stood in between your legs, soaking your nose with numerous amounts of toilet paper. There was a comfortable silence in the air. You know, Atsumu was quite beautiful with his mouth closed. The way the sunlight accentuated his sharp features, with his eyes reflecting a shade of light hazel. In an impulse, you pecked his lips and to your surprise, he reciprocated.
It’s been a month since you’ve been hooking up and it’s become your new normal. As a small treat, you wanted to do surprise.
Prior to this dynamic, as best friends you always had a spare key, which his twin brother made sure of because Atsumu was forgetful. As tacky as it was, you were wearing a trench coat, that covered your bright red two-piece lingerie underneath. Silently twisting the knob, you walked into to his bedroom. The apartment was still clean, signaling that he wasn’t home. In which, gave you enough time to position yourself on his bed. After many awkward attempts of seductive positions, you chose the cross-over leg at the edge of his bed, which accentuated your hips.
You heard his front door open, and his loud voice gave you the signal. You felt relaxed, but it wasn’t until you heard another voice. High-pitched and fruity, it was one of those voices you could tell it’d belong to a pretty girl. You panicked, and mentally scolded yourself for pushing Atsumu to go with a minimalist aesthetic for his bedroom, which left nowhere to hide for you. The knob was opened slightly, where only he could see you. Eye contact was made, and he immediately slammed the door shut.
There was a muffled, “Hey! uh- my room is kind of dirty right now. Let’s go over to yours.” And after, hearing the front door shut, you assumed she complied. In awe, you mentally kicked yourself over and over again. You took off your attire immediately walking into your bedroom, it burned your skin with insecurities and embarrassment. So much for putting yourself out there. Although, what hurt the most was the way his eyes were full of disgust when he saw you.
That night, he knocked at your door. You opened it, thinking it was your food.
Your heart was beating rapidly, because just an hour ago you made a whole scheme of routes to take without seeing him. You coyly responded with, “you’re not my DoorDash,” and tried to close the door. But he blocked it.
“We need to talk,” he said in the most serious tone you’ve personally ever heard from him. How could those words scare you when you’re not in a relationship.
“What was that shit you pulled earlier?” He irritated. You felt so small under his gaze.
“I thought it would’ve been nice,” you mumbled. “Nice? That girl was the president of one of the most notorious sororities. She could’ve seen you.” He yelled, continuously blaming you. The way he viewed her, would never be the way he saw you. You were just a friend who needed a favor, not someone he actually wanted to pursue.
“You know what? Fine, my fault. Sorry that I ruined it, sorry that I showed up, sorry that I even planned it, sorry I ever thought that you saw me more than just a skank, sorry I even called you over that night, and finally, sorry for ever loving-” it just slipped out. His eyes widened, “Finish that sentence, Y/N. If I knew-”
“Knew what? Knew that I loved you, you wouldn’t have gotten involved? Yeah, well it’s too late. You know what? Just get out. I never want to see you again, Miya,” you sobbed, tears flowing down your face freely. Pounding your fists against his chest. His immobility gave you a small sliver of hope.
“I’m not ready, Y/N. I can’t give you what you want.” Conflicted, unbeknownst whether he was talking to you or himself. “But we can still be friends.”
That sentence was the nail in the coffin.
“It hurts to even look at you Atsumu.” Your voice cold. For someone that could read you so well, why did he think that would save your relationship? “I’ll.. be on my way then.” He slowly got up, and turned the knob. Selfishly enough, he made one more glance at you. He embraced this last glance. Did you know you were beautiful? Even with snot, running down your nose. Of course, you didn’t look back, you were too focused on biting your lips.
Atsumu’s face went pale. He knew what sign that meant. And the change was him. You were really set on ghosting him. With the door closed and Atsumu leaning on it, he couldn’t help to question why that made a pang in his heart.
The universal code after breaking up with someone is to dye your hair or get bangs, sometimes it’s both. You were a fallen victim to this.
With your hair now, a deep burgundy color, all because you decided you no longer wanted to be chained in this subconscious competition with her. You also, changed the way you dress, to where it was more on the grunge side. Something about it made you feel so comfortable like you were appropriately expressing yourself. It came as a shock to others when you showed up the next semester looking completely different. You came from being the innocent, damsel in distress Y/N, to “badass sexy Y/N,” your other friend claimed.
In the hallways, you would catch glimpses of him. To say that you’re over him would be a lie. At the end of the day, just because you left him doesn’t mean the feelings were gone. But every time your mind would start to wander, it was immediately blocked with a big red “NO” stamp in your brain.
You rarely saw Kiyoko either, it was almost like she deliberately ignored you. Although from a mutual friend, you found out that they never ended up together. Turns out, Kiyoko only liked the attention rather than him. You always knew it, but you kept that to yourself.
Kiyoko and Tanaka still continued to be somewhat friends, it was just easier that way since they were both in the school’s volleyball program. In turn, made you stray away from all of them for the rest of your high school career. Oh, how you wish it was that easy.
As the president of the student government, you were assigned to plan the homecoming volleyball game. Meaning all hands were on deck into repainting the banner, making personalized boards for each member, and standing on the sidelines.
You could feel Tanaka’s stare boring into your body. You tried to ignore it, with sneaky glances at him, but he was already looking. The only times you felt relieved, was when it was his turn in the rotation. You turned your body away from him and stared at the other team in distraction. Not paying attention, it came off as you staring at Aoba Johsai’s golden boy, Oikawa Tooru. His teammates thought the same too and nudged his shoulder, chuckling. During halftime, you were so lost in thought, you didn’t realize he was approaching you.
“Can you look any harder?” A voice came towering above you. You froze. Why was the captain of Aoba Johsai in front of you?
“O-oh sorry I didn’t mean to stare, I just- nevermind I’m sorry,” You were frantic, and tried to do something productive in front of him. It was apparent to him, that you were doing completely nothing. Your hands were flying all over the table in front of you, until he grabbed onto one.
He moved closer to your face, to which you reacted with blood rushing up to your cheeks. It’s not like you haven’t noticed his looks. Every girl that lived here and then some knew about him. Thinking he was going in for a kiss, you shut your eyes closed. Only to feel nothing. Instead, he moved over to your ear and whispered, “You’re weird.” You made a face, but then he quickly slid his number in your hands. Leaving you in a blushing mess. No one really noticed this encounter, because of the pep rally in the midst. Tanaka, however, witnessed it all, and boy, was he angry.
After the game, Karasuno lost. Turns out, Tanaka couldn’t get his kills right, it was either too far back or blocked. You stood outside the opponents’ locker room, waiting for Oikawa. He was the last to leave, you knew this because when his teammates would walk out, they’d holler.
“Oh hey… Y/N, right?” Oikawa asked. You looked down on your feet, feeling a bit hurt that he couldn’t even remember your name. You knew it was a risk getting back out there.
“I’m just going to g-” you started to turn around. He pulled you back, “It was just a joke,” he smiled.
“Listen, do you wanna grab something?” You hoped, biting your lip. He opened his hand out at you for you to grasp. After you both left, on the other side of the wall, Tanaka finally let out his breath. Sobs were racking up his body when he finally realized you’ve moved on.
He never got to tell you that the moment during recess was when he realized he loved you too.
@potatoquing thanks for your submission! i hope this gives some closure.
do y’all have any stories of mine that you’d want a part two to? (i’m only doing this for only one, because i like to leave my endings depressing) please msg me or comment!
tanaka ryūnosuke x reader; tanaka ryūnosuke x kyoko shimizu
genre: angst, heartbreak, cheating
word count: 1.5k
cw: insecurity
She was beautiful. Her silky black hair, perfect nose, nicely framed glasses, and a cute mole on her chin. Anyone could see it, every volleyball team in the tri-state area attempted to get her number. Kiyoko Shimuzu was her name, and you could not help but see the way your boyfriend looks at her.
The three of you went to school together, since primary. A trio, one would call it ever since the third grade. At recess, kids would say, “It’s no surprise that Y/N, Kiyoko, and Tanaka are all partnered together.” and during a specific game of soccer, you accidentally tripped over the ball and skid your knee. You bit your lip hard, trying not to cry in front of everyone. Your eyes were watery, at the fact that your knee hurt like hell and now everyone was staring at you. To your surprise, Tanaka ran over to you to help you up and guide you to the clinic. When you got there, the nurse sat you down and poured alcohol onto cotton balls. Tanaka offered his hand, and you gripped it lightly, with a slight shade of pink on your cheeks. It was a cute moment until the nurse dabbed onto your joint. Then, you tightly squeezed Tanaka’s hand and screamed some very colorful words. That night, your mom scolded you and sent you straight to your room. While you lay on your bed, you could not help but smile at the event that happened that afternoon. This was the start of your attraction towards Tanaka Ryūnosuke.
When you got to middle school, puberty started to hit you like a truck. The rapid growth of hormones made your face acne-infested. While everyone told you it was normal, you could not help but question why does Kiyoko’s face not look like this then? Her skin was clear and had a nice dew to it. The amount of money spent on drug store products could buy you a whole store. Acne was inevitable, already eating at your brain, and planting their seed called insecurity. Tanaka would always call Kiyoko terms like, ‘gorgeous’ and ‘goddess’ while you had what- ‘funny’? The summer going into high school, you decided to get medical help. Immediately, you were put on accutane. You did not want to see anyone during that whole summer, especially Tanaka. Accutane made your face very dry, crackled, and forced you to put on chapstick every minute. Locking yourself into your room all summer, made you lonely.
Sometimes, you could hear Tanaka and Kiyoko walk by your house and hear them say, “Has Y/N ever responded to your texts? It’s like she’s a ghost.” Tanaka asked.
“Nope, she hasn’t even answered to get our nails done, she must seriously be ghosting us,” Kiyoko responded.
You tear up at the guilt of ignoring your closest friends, but it’s hard when you’re in love with one of them and envious of the other. You did not want your toxic mindset upheld against them, so you justified that it was just for the best.
When fall came around, it was back to school. Your first year. The Accutane, though traumatizing, worked. In addition, being trapped in your room all day introduced you to makeup. Looking in the mirror, you actually started to like what you saw in the mirror. You’ve learned self-care and it paid off. Scanning the sheets on the wall, it looked like Tanaka was in your class and Kiyoko was in the honors one.
“Class 2-B” you read aloud to yourself and sat down at a desk. You left the one seat open next to you, just for Tanaka. When you saw him walk in, your heart skipped a beat. He looked different, in a good way. His hair was shaved, taller, and looked more mature. When you waved over to him, he just glared at you and sat at the seat farthest from you. This made your heart drop. Why was he acting like this? Did I do something? Does he not want to be my friend anymore? Questions rambling in your head. During lunch, you headed over to his desk and pulled the chair behind you to sit down. He just stared at you intently, furrowing his brows signifying anger.
“Ryo-channn, look what I brought,” you gleefully rang, knowing that he would never in a million years refuse your mom’s onigiris. When you took out your bento, you grabbed the onigiri with your hand and put it near his mouth. Still looking at you angrily, he took a bite from the onigiri in your hand and looked away from you.
“What’s wrong?” you worried. He did not respond, so you asked again. “You can’t just act like I don’t exist Ryo, especially if you’re eating from my invisible hand.”
“That’s funny, me acting like YOU don’t exist when you ghosted me for three months? I thought we were best friends, Y/N.” Now, you finally understood why he was so upset. Before you could speak up, there was a knock at the entrance, “Ryo, want to grab lunch together?” Kiyoko said in a monotone voice. It seems that Kiyoko too was also mad at you. You could not help it though, you and Kiyoko were basically sisters up until that summer. “Yeah, let me grab my stuff,” Ryo picked up all his belongings and left you in the dust.
That day, you waited for both of them after practice. Kiyoko was a manager and Tanaka was on the team. Two birds, one stone. When they walked out together, they both saw you. Murmuring to each other. You took a deep breath, “Listen, I’m sorry for not texting you guys back and not spending time with you during the summer. I-it’s just that I felt so i-insecure with myself, I didn’t want to bring you guys down with me y’know?” Tears started welling up in your eyes, you continued, “I would hear you guys talk about me when you passed by my house, and it took everything I had to not just run out and hug you guys. But, I couldn’t. I hated myself for the longest time and I was scared that you two would start to notice it. So, I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore, but you guys needed an explanation.” You sighed and started to turn around and leave. You fell to your feet, with two bodies tackling you down. “G-guys?” your eyes are still watery. Laughter emitted from their voices, “Don’t do it again or else we will kill you,” Kiyoko threatened.
It was the final set, both teams were tied. Yamaguchi was serving and Aoba Johsai hit it back with ease. The rally probably lasted around a minute, but to everyone, it was slowed down. Until, Tanaka passed the ball to Kageyama, and everyone thought he’d set it Hinata. Instead, he setter dumped. The crowd was silent, not realizing what just happened. Karasuno just won the preliminaries. Every student screamed and chanted at them. You and a couple of other people ran down to congratulate. You ran up to Tanaka’s arms and squeezed him. He swung you around joyfully, and you pulled your face back. There was a moment where it felt like it was just the two of you. The adrenaline of winning finally got to you, and you impulsively kissed him. It lasted maybe around a second or two before you finally realized what you were doing. Mortified, you were rambling with apologies.
“Can you please just forget this ever happen-” he cut you off. Warm lips were pressed onto your lips. You were shocked at first but slowly sunk into the kiss. This was the start of your relationship with Tanaka Ryūnosuke.
Kiyoko never spoke about her feelings about her best friends dating. In fact, she hated it. But it was out of character for her to be so opinionated. She could not stand the fact that you guys would cuddle during movie night nor how he would hold your hand during the walk home. She did not necessarily like Tanaka that way, but she did miss the attention he gave her. Who wouldn’t want someone calling you pretty 24/7? And to reject them was a power move. No one would ever know, but he was the reason why her confidence shot up. The confidence to reject handsome men on different teams. All started because of Tanaka. Although, now that he was with you, the flirting stopped. She could feel herself start to become jealous and it started to infect her brain. During practice, Yachi would gush about how cute you and Tanaka were while Kiyoko just had to listen.
“Y/N is too cute,” Yachi cheesed. Kiyoko couldn't take it anymore, “Listen, I am way prettier than Y/N and Tanaka could do much better” it just slipped out. She was surprised at what she just said, and even more surprised that she didn’t even feel an ounce of guilt.
“Like you?” a voice appeared. It was Tanaka. “R-Ryo,” she muttered. “We should talk outside.”
Once they were both outside, Tanaka spoke first.
“You don’t get to do this. You rejected me countless times and now t-that I’m with someone you can’t just profess your feelings for me.” Tanaka hissed.
“I-I know, it’s just- I didn’t realize what I had until I lost it. Imagine how I feel seeing you guys together, the man I love with someone else. Someone who is inferior to me.” Tears welled up in Kiyoko’s eyes.
“Do you even hear yourself right now? Love? Please. You don’t love me. You never will.” He bit his lip sharply.
Silence.
“Then look at me and tell me you don’t love me. Because not once have you said that you didn’t feel the same way, you only said that you were dating Y/N” Kiyoko sobbed.
“You know I can’t do that,” Tanaka whispered. Then, Kiyoko leeched on him, pressing her lips against his. He wasn’t kissing back, but he wasn’t pulling away either. He was conflicted. He was too dazed and decided to just give in.
Little did they both know, there you were watching at the scene. Well, now you were hiding behind a wall, peeking at them, kissing. You could physically hear your heart-shattering. After wiping the nonstop tears flowing on your face, you left.
Grief turned into anger. You threw every picture, gift, and sweater into the trash bag. Your eyes only saw red. Your room was left bare and cold. The bedroom door knocked in a rhythmic beat that only one person did. When he walked in, his eyes gazed at every spot in your room. It was empty.
You looked down at the ground, “I always knew I was second best in your heart.” You whispered, tears threatening your eyes. “What?” His face contorted in a confused stance. “I should’ve seen it coming y’know? But I just thought maybe— maybe he’d pick me.” You continued. He started getting worried, “What’re you talking about?” The fact that he was here, blatantly lying to you, gives you all the answers you needed.
“Please don’t act like that, not with me”
“Act like what?”
“Clueless. Ry-Tanaka,” you corrected yourself. “If you love her, then go for it. But don’t act like you’re still in love with me. It hurts-” Your voice broke mid-sentence.
“It was a mistake,” He pleaded.
“A mistake? No, mistakes happen impulsively. T-This whole thing with Kiyoko was premeditated. All my life, I have been trying to compete with her. Grades, appearances, and even you. And when I had you, I thought, I had won. I won the best prize ever. You. But now-” You dropped to your knees, “I don’t even have you.”
He wiped your tears with his hands, “But you do, you do have me,”
“No, no I don’t,” you denied.
“Yes you do baby, I’m right here. I choose you.”
You were not some decision, you were his girlfriend and yet, he thought that would make you happier. “Nonono, you don’t get it. I don’t want you anymore. These tears aren’t for you, they’re for me. Seeing you kiss Kiyoko? I felt nothing and that scared me. Maybe I wasn’t in love with you, maybe I just wanted to beat Shimizu that bad. Who knows? But, by the looks of it, I did win. I got to you first.” You punctuated every word, prying his hands off your face. Of course, you were lying your ass off. You’ve loved this man ever since that day in recess. Revenge had poisoned your heart though, and you wanted him to feel an ounce of you were feeling.
“We’re done. There I have let you go, now you are free to do anything you want with Kiyoko. Date her or reject her, it’s not my issue anymore.” Tanaka couldn’t even recognize you anymore. Though it was your voice and your physical look, it was like your soul had been drained, and in replacement was someone who was cold and emotionless.
A/N: I’m back! I’ve fixed my writing style so everything is capitalized properly. Requests are greatly appreciated! Just shoot a message. Also, this story was inspired by my drabble and a person actually asked me to write one for Tanaka, so here you go @aestheticno !
my writing has been so inconsistent and i’m frustrated. i think i’m going to take a small break and learn to be a better writer! this means no more late night on my phone type shit. no. more like using my computer and legitimately writing.
when rin told you about the new manager, you didn’t expect her to be blonde, curvy, and absolutely gorgeous. honestly, just looking at her made you insecure. the way all the boys gawked at her everytime she walked by. you didn’t care about the boys though, you only cared about a boy, your boyfriend rin. she’s with him longer than he’s with you. practices take up most of his day, so you only saw him once he got to your shared apartment where he was too tired to do anything that exterted energy. to be fair, you were fine just staying in, but imagining him with her during practices made you uncomfortable.
it was even worse when he’d go out to dinner with the team and her. you couldn’t remember the last time he’d even ask you on a date. you hated the way he stopped trying once you started dating. starting to reach the AMs when you called him.
“y/n?” his slurred tone showed that he was drunk.
“suna? where are you? it’s almost 12 am.” you scolded. how could you not? he’s drunk and with a girl that you were very envious of.
“first of all, can you chill? i literally told you that i’d be out with the boys, i don’t understand why you’re getting so upset,”
“upset? you’re literally out with a girl who’s very attarctive” you frustrated.
“oh i see what this is now, you’re jealous and you don’t trust me.”
“it’s not a matter of trust, it’s just i fe-feel uncomfortable and i oh i don’t know wanted to talk about it?” you started to raise your voice. the attempt to set a boundary has failed, and rather was replaced with you being the enemy.
“she’s my friend y/n, get over it because you’ll be seeing a lot more of her,” rin hissed.
“i’m not telling you who you can be friends with or not, but you have to understand where i’m coming from” you murmured.
“just leave me alone, i can be friends with whoever i want, and the last thing i’m going to do is let a bitch dictate that.” suna argued loudly.
it was followed up by silence, with a girl voice cutting in, “rin-rin let’s do this song together!” in a high pitch squeal caught the mic.
“oh so you’re rin rin now huh? i can’t be surprised considering how much time you spend with her!”
“well maybe i like hanging out with her. did you ever think of that y/n? it’s nice to have someone who wouldn’t nag or bitch about me, she doesn’t pry for me to open up,” he attempted to justify his actions.
“okay fine then, if she’s soooo perfect than just date her” words just started spilling out of your brain, and it was too late to take it back.
“maybe i will!” he roared. after he sunk in what he was saying, he followed up with “w-wait i didn’t mea-” trying to save his relationship.
“do whatever you want suna, whether you’re with her or not it’s not my problem anymore, i’m done.” you ended the call, tears freely flowing down your face.
you couldn’t sleep that night. pathetically, you’d hope that suna would at least give you a call back, or any sign that he still cared for you. but he didn’t, and you assumed that was your answer. you would reevaluate the relationship after a good nights sleep on the couch. you couldn’t sleep on the bed due to suna’s lingering scent.
when 4am rolled around, the door opened as quietly as possible. suna assumed that you were asleep in bed, and was prepared to join you. when he walked in the bedroom and saw the bed still made, he panicked. did you really leave? were you actually done with the relationship? he checked everywhere, the bathroom, kitchen, the basement, and not the most obvious place ever. he dialed your phone, and heard loud ringing from the living room. he slapped his forehead in stupidity and made his way over to you. his heart broke at the sight. the way you tried to fit your body with the throw blanket, unaware that you were shivering at the cold. your face was also pale, with dried tears on them. you looked so broken and so drained. immediately, suna carried you off the couch bridal style, and tucked you into the soft king sized bed. he then, moved onto his side and slid under the sheets. it’s only when he grabs your waist is when he feels safe enough to sleep.
five hours later, you awake with dried tears still in your eyes. you wiped them with your arm, and felt weight around your waist. once your eyes were cleared, it was suna. you let yourself comfort in his warmth for just a bit more, knowing that there’s a huge argument to come.
“suna we can’t just not talk about this,” you whispered into his ear, knowing he was awake. he hid in the crook of your neck, “i’m sorry. i’m so so sorry, please take me back.”
“i can’t just accept your apology blindly, we have to set boundaries or else we’ll never move forward.” you sighed while tracing circles on his bare chest.
“i’ll never even look at her again,” his face deadpanned. your laugh vibrated against his chest, “that’s not needed, it’s not really her fault anyways. how about, we spend more time on dates and devote days for each other?”
“anything, princess.”
sakusa kiyoomi
sakusa hated physical touch, the spread of germs with a single handshake grossed him out. that’s why he built a cold exterior to prevent many from getting close. however, when he met you, you happened to be the exception and you took pride in the fact that he was only comfortable with you. he’ll never admit it to you though, and claims he only ‘endures’ your hugs. although, you knew your limit, you would never show affection in front of people. if there’s one thing sakusa hates, it’s PDA.
so you couldn’t really blame the new cute manager for flirting with him, because it seemed like he was single. listen, you trusted sakusa with your whole heart, but you just wanted to see how he would react with a girl flirting with him.
you hid behind the door, eavesdropping behind the door.
“sakusa-senpai, can you please help me up?” the cute manger whined.
“can you not get up yourself?” sakusa groaned.
“no i think i twisted something,” as a girl, you knew exactly what she was doing and her execution was poor. you rolled your eyes, assuming sakusa too would know what she was doing.
but he didn’t.
“thank you, sakusa-senpai!” she squealed, and then what you can assume, she hugged him. because then it caught him by suprise, and they both fell together, with her on top of him. you didn’t hear him scolding her, rather he was laughing. he was happy with her presence when he wouldn’t even physically show it with you. you decided to just walk in and stop this.
amidst of their laughter, both heads looked up at you. “sakusa, don’t you have to get home soon?” with an eyebrow raised.
“uh actually sakusa-senpai it’s getting dark, mind if you could walk me home?” she babbled.
“fine, y/n you can walk yourself right?” he said casually, while packing up his things.
“y-yeah i guess” you stammered.
on your walk home, you were reevaluating what just happened. no longer did you feel special anymore. your brain started to overthink itself, why did they look better as a couple? and why was he so relaxed around her? was i just not the right person? has he found his true love? all these scenarios made you start to tear up. you were in love with the germaphobic man, for god sakes.
when you got the shared apartment, you immediately took a shower, knowing that sakusa was going to nag you anyways when you got home.
then, you started on dinner and chopping up some vegetables when you heard the door open. he nodded at you, acknowledging your presence and was waiting for the hug you gave him everytime he came home. but you didn’t, and he awkwardly just stood there for good minute or two. to your suprise, he was the first one to make the move. he wrapped his arms behind you and resting his head on your neck. immediately, you shrugged him off.
he furrowed his eyebrows, “is there something wrong?”
“i don’t know, is there something wrong?” you repeated his question.
“i wouldn’t know, that’s why i asked.” he bellowed.
you put the knife down and faced him, “you know i love the double standard of how i have to shower before i get to touch you, but that whore gets to touch you whenever,” you ranted.
“our new manager? you can’t be serious. we fell, it was an accident.”
“maybe you thought it was, but i know what she was doing because i, too am a girl. if you guys just ‘fell’ why did it take so long for you to get back up? why’d you let her touch you for so long?” you questioned.
“i wasn’t thinking about it, not everything i do in life is rotated around germs-”
“except when it’s with me” your voice cracked. “right? it’s when it’s with me, that must be it. that’s why you never show any affection, but it’s okay for you because you’ve gotten tons from me and her!” you raved.
he tried to wrap his around you, but you moved out the way.
“don’t touch me with that whore’s filth,” you muttered, turning off the burner and stomped to your shared bedroom, slamming the door. your insecurities were roaring on the inside. sakusa chose to sleep on the couch, thinking you needed space. but, that was the least thing you wanted. you wanted him to beg, or to at least apologize.
over the following days, you didn’t wait for him outside of practice. in fact, the only time he saw you was in the morning before classes and at night when you left leftovers for him in the kitchen. after the argument, he pushed everyone away, especially with the new manager. he only wanted one person’s touch, yours. and to achieve that, he had to put in some effort. that night when he got home, he went straight to the shower. you assumed it was just a normal silent treatment day, so you went to bed scrolling.
you felt the weight on the other side of the bed. knowing who it was, you continued to aimlessly scroll on tiktok. sakusa abruptly grabbed your waist and coddled you, drowning you in pecks all around your face.
“mh.. sakus.. sa.. mh..” continuously getting cut off with his cute pecks on your lips. you decided to let go of the whole manager situation, and let yourself to just be happy. you wrapped your arms around his neck and put him even closer to you. he then pulled away and you dramatically groaned.
putting his face close to yours, “i love you y/n l/n.” before continuing.
a/n: if you like this series please request some characters you’d like to see!
you heard about this interview game show on youtube through your good friends. watching it your first time with them, it was so blatantly obvious that they were still in love.
you pointed your drumstick at the TV screen, “it’s so obvious that she still likes him, look at her posture!” your voice muffled with a mouth full of ice cream.
“that’s what’s fun about these videos! plus it’s kinda sweet that they rekindle the fire through an intense game of truth or dare” hinata replied.
“truth or drink” you emphasized, “and plus, they’re exes for a reason, nonetheless. just because you try again, doesn’t mean there will always be a different outcome. if there was an issue that both parties couldn’t get over, what makes it okay now in front of a camera? men ain’t shit, and honestly so are the girls who participate in these. no self worth honestly.”
“wow... y/n it’s very obvious you’re projecting your feelings about your breakup with kuroo onto these fun challenges,” kageyama spoke for the first time that night.
and he was right. you were still in the mourning period over your breakup. every romantic song, couple, and certain aphrodisiacs were out to get you because it reminded you of him. to ease the pain, you expressed your hurt through bitchiness to others. not only were you a bitch, but a hypocrite.
how? because two years later you were sitting across the table from kuroo, with a camera to your right and shots to your left. you didn’t even know how you got into this position. one night you were super drunk and missed him. submissions were open and your intention was to see him again. other than that, it was all a blur.
as the director read the rules of the game, your’s and kuroo’s eyes were boring into each other, and you were nervous about how he felt currently being in such a vulnerable position.
“first off, we’ll introduce you guys and your back story,” the director instructed.
[where did you guys meet?]
“we-
“she was-”
you both interrupted each other. you lent out your hand as a gesture that he could say it.
“she was actually watching a game of mine, our school was against hers and her seat just happened to be directly in front of my eyesight. she looked beautiful and i-”
“now i have to stop you there, i was not beautiful. i had a bunch of acne and a crooked tooth”
*you look straight at the camera*
“since when are those features not beautiful?” kuroo mocked, making him seem like the best guy in front of the cameras.
you only rolled your eyes and let him go on.
“on our last set, it was a close game. the score was 25-24 nekoma and i needed one more hit. when kenma set it to me, i hit it. the winning spike. that’s when i looked at her, pointed, and blew a kiss. and the rest was history”
you smiled at that memory. it was actually a really sweet moment. you’ve never really felt seen or unique, but he made you feel like the most important person in the world, and you’ll always cherish that.
[when did you guys break up?]
“around 2-3 years ago, it was a while ago” you responded.
*you both immediately grabbed the shots next to each other and clanked the glass together, before downing it*
you chuckled, because of how you both knew this was going to be hard.
*you picked up the top card*
“pffffftttttt rate me in bed, and how i can improve?”
“i would honestly say you’re a good 9? it was very passionate and soft except for the times it wasn’t”
*kuroo winked at the camera, while you punched his shoulder*
“i just wish you let me hit it in the back more”
*you hid your face in complete embarrassment with the card*
“next.”
*kuroo swiped the next card*
the smile on his face immediately turned into stone when he read the card.
“are you attracted to any of my friends?” he said with a pinch of pettiness.
“HAHAhahahaha...” you slowly grab the tequila bottle next to you.
his face conveyed mild irritation with a “🙂” face on him.
“weren’t you attracted to kyoko?” you dramatically raised an eyebrow.
then he grabbed the bottle from your hand. you didn’t feel jealous at all, in fact, you too were attracted to kyoko.
“please censor the name during the final editing” you smiled at the director, and you swore they just blushed.
*you grabbed the next card*
“what’s the most annoying thing about me?”
“you would always just kiss me to avoid conflict. like, when you washed your pink clothes with my white shirts and i called you out on it, we ended up just fucking and i forgot completely about it”
“so you’re saying it worked” you fist bumped the air.
“what about me?” kuroo asked.
“i guess, if i had to name something it’d be your loud snores, loud chewing, forgetting to buy groceries, screaming at our television because kenma missed his sho-”
“okay okay i get it,” stopping you from continuing.
there were only a few more cards left when kuroo picked up the next one.
“are you happy for me now? be honest.”
“of course! you’re literally a professional volley player, basically a celebrity. i am honored i am one of the few that got to know you. you deserve everything that you have and you’re the realest person out there, tetsu” slipping out his nickname so casually, that you mentally screamed.
“thank you y/n, i really appreciate that.” he put his hand on yours with a warming smile, making it seem like he ignored it for your sake.
[why did you guys break up]
that was very tough question. both you stayed silent for a good second, wondering who will talk first.
“i-i’ll go first,
kuroo had been offered a job, fresh off of high school, while i decided to choose the local college. the job was to be a profession volleyball player... for the states. at first, he wasn’t going to take it, because it was too far from me. during our last few months of senior year, rumors about me and kenma circled around. nothing actually happened, but when kuroo asked me, i didn’t respond and...” you hesitated, kuroo’s eyes expressed the same pain from all those years ago.
you bit your lip before continuing, “because letting him think that made him let go and i couldn’t let myself hold him back y’know? it was just a situational breakup and i’m glad i made that decision. all was forgiven between him and kenma shortly after that by the way, just not with him and me.” you giggled at the end, to seemingly make it less awkward. your eyes were glossy— but, you had to confess your biggest secret.
you tried to look for a response from kuroo, but he just stayed silent. desperation started to tingle your skin.
then, kuroo did respond, by getting up from his seat and leaving you there, alone. tears now were freely falling on your face, in front of tons of people nonetheless.
“listen y/n, we can just not post this for privacy.” the director comforted.
“no it’s okay, a deals a deal kenma.” you waved off and left abruptly.
you slammed the doors open to the outside, with a cool breeze hitting your tears. you crouched in a position sobbing, while gasping for breath. he was the love of your life, and the thought of him never forgiving you really hurt.
“y/n”
you knew that voice. it was the same one just minutes ago laughing. you were so mentally drained that you thought you were hallucinating. it was only then when he wrapped his arms around you. you missed this. you missed the warmth of kuroo’s bear hugs.
“if you told me to stay i would’ve.” kuroo whispered into your ear.
“i know you would’ve, t-that’s why i h-had to do what i had to do. and now look at you, you’re rich, famous and... and” you stopped.
“you don’t have to say it y/n.” kuroo raised his voice in a serious manner.
“i-i have to or else i will never accept it nor get any closure.” you sighed, pushing him back out. looking into his eyes, they were also full of remorse, conflict, and sorrow.
as you try muster up the words, he crashed his lips against yours. immediately, you retaliate, knowing that it’s selfish but this was the last time you were ever going to be this vulnerable. the kiss screamed pain, and both of you tasted each other’s salty tears that were getting in the way.
when you finally came to your senses, you pulled away.
“if somehow we are both 40 and single, let’s meet at the place where we first met. until then, happy engagement.”
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