ok. scenario: gotham slowly realising batman has absolutely NO idea how to handle praise and the city collectively starts weaponising compliments against him
like some teenager gets saved and just goes “thanks, batman :) you’re doing great, actually” and he literally freezes because no one has said that to him since 1997. he just stands there in the smoke like some medieval knight having an emotional crisis. suddenly news anchors are saying stuff like “batman was seen preventing a mugging last night. great job, king” and the police scanner has gcpd officers doing it too “uh… b-man? mr batman, sir? rooftop on east. you’re doing… good. proud of you. over.” and batman’s cape very subtly twitches like he got shot
the batkids IMMEDIATELY clock what’s happening and it becomes psychological warfare:
nightwing on the group chat: You’re doing amazing, B!
robin: Father, I am… impressed. Do not make this embarrassing
red hood: nice punch. proud of you, buddy.
batman: Enough.
red hood: <3
babs starts leaving sticky notes on his gadgets like “good job charging your equipment :)”
and tim schedules google calendar notifications including “you matter. drink water.”
cass passes him in the hallway and bumps her shoulder into his like you’re here. so am i. she signs safe before disappearing again.
steph starts trailing him on rooftops yelling “DARK KNIGHT AAATE” until criminals leave out of secondhand discomfort
even the rogues are in on it. they all pool together to make a large bouquet (which looks totally incohesive, by the way) tied with a pretty bow and a small glittery card: thank you <3
he just. stares at it
bruce is suffering. genuinely suffering. emotionally constipated billionaire vigilante brought to his knees by basic positive reinforcement
