Icarus.

ᴡᴀɴᴅᴇʀʟᴜꜱᴛɪɴ' 🖤♋️🌞♒️🌖♍️🌅 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐. 👩🏻‍💻🧿

[anjiluz]

To little me,

We made it to 33! Got married to our very best friend at 32. Engaged at 31. When we we’re 28, we lost our light at home but we got permanent work at home since then. Life was never easy since then and got forced to face adulthood differently.

We got a good game in our career and been into different fields (Accounting nor WebDev nor Admin) possible despite being an IT kid. Now, we can work any field because we got some good and quite experience tho.

Our 20’s were really enjoyed. We went on different places to the north every weekend. Climbed mountains and enjoy different beaches. We dated and been smart at this point, almost got lost of hope of finding the one that will really understand us but then the hubby came along and prove you wrong. He’s been the greatest, warm and understanding being we’ve ever met. No wonder why we loved chitchatting with him ever since because he’s the one after finding that one to many faces and places. Plus he’s the only one mama approved. Lol.

Our school days is good, such an achiever and graduated younger than usual. Went to good schools and met good people. We loved college so much that made you forget how high school days is so little.

We’re still carrying it on and living and we got so much dreams to hope and work for now. I know life weren’t easy lately and we’ve getting thru it, like we always do. All I can say is here’s the hug to you little me, you’ve come this far and surpass some of the deeds you wanted to.

I love you with all me and watch as we grab onto our dreams!

Love Xo,

A🩷

[anjiluz]

That “ang sarap nang luto mo, te!” And the, “nadali mo ang tamang lasa!” Made me so happy today!

Okay nainspire pa ko magluto 😌

[anjiluz]

I have the best client ever. Thank you Lord for this kind of person existing in my life.

I may have quite few, and I am grateful for them.

[anjiluz]

I wish heaven has visiting hours, just so I can greet my mom today on her birthday..

This pain I’ve been through before, now it’s painful x 10. Losing a parent is normal, but losing them early isn’t. Early when my mom missed my wedding and all the fancy things we have now..

[anjiluz]

My brothers no longer say, “si ate nga di pa nag-aasawa.” after I got married.

I’m the eldest of course, I made the rules. 😏

[remanence-of-love]

[anjiluz]

Talking to my managers making me feel I am the PM of this project I am holding in to. Like okay, I can do that lol!

[anjiluz]

My Dearest Pab,

Thank you for surviving last January. I was literally crying my ass thinking you’d leave me just like that when we just got you back..

Sorry we have to rehome you for two years, thank heavens for them and returning you back home to us.

Mama kunkun may have interrupted sleep when I got you back but life was never the same without you. Always following me, always kissing me but never wanted to be cuddled.

Thank you for loving my presence and being there for me all the time, kahit pinapanuod mo lang ako umiyak hahaha thank you coz you sleep asound with me when I was sick for being always present in my room.

I love you to bitz and mama kunkun will cook all the food na pwede sayo and spoil you all the way I can and bring you to places and more beaches.

Love,

Mama kunkun

[remanence-of-love]

[anjiluz]

My korean name 🫰🏻

Han Hye Hee (한혜희)

[anjiluz]

[anjiluz]

I remember what my mommah said to me when I was in HS, “don’t be distracted by fancy boys.” to which I did, though I didn’t kept my early promise back then, I made sure it will never worst than breaking that promise.

Then I came to a point I don’t care, I just date lads, I never heard anyone say it back then, but Ellen Adarna said it so well, “date them all, collect, then select.” but when I learned the patterns, and then how things will go, what they’re all up to were just the same. And once found, end of story. But let’s take a further back, when being a Cancer ruled me, back to being so emotional over things. I cried my heart so hard, and pity my ass for spending time for someone’s not even worth it, but when being a Aquarius moon was turned on, I’ll be back to sane again and forget all the utter BS and be the baddest bitch one ever seen.

And there will be this one time, where everything fits so well and perfect, that’s when you knew you found the half of your heart and soul.

In Greek methology, Zeus splits folks into two because he was so afraid that someone could beat him. That’s when finding your soulmate started. Some of the broken hearted kids, blamed this soul searching and all, when it shouldn’t be searched, one will come along and it all made sense why all of that happened.

“Who can find a virtuous woman, his price is FAR ABOVE RUBIES.” - Proverbs 31:10-12

I just hope bebu felt the title, and commitment I gave him. For after that 20 years of being friends, I never imagined he’s the one that fits perfectly to my imperfect life.

What I’m trying to impose here is don’t rush. Enjoy everything, the singleness, the freedom, the joy and sane of being alone, the adventures and from there you’ll discover more of yourself and then you’ll be surprised! Your missing piece is right in front or top of you. 🤭😉

[anjiluz]

All of these? Was is all worth it?

[anjiluz]

This year made me feel that I don't belong to anything nor to anyone, But I was there for everyone when someone needed me the most. I found it unfair at times because I was really into everyone, Taking good care of them, looking after everyone. And no one can do it the same, It really felt that I only have me in all the hard times I have. Hard times from my head, work, finances and self, I mean was it that hard to find that one? I lately found myself trying to fit in, When clearly my shoes isn't the same as theirs.

[anjiluz]

Hey mom,

What’s up? Its been too long.. I’ve been waiting for you to visit my dreams lately but it seems like my head’s been cloud up with so much thing I have to do, to do more than what you did.

I always aim for the better because that you taught me. So far so good, the year started so bad, and I am just gettingback on my feet. Its been so hard that, my grief with you weighted more when Prima died. It’s like the pain never goes away no matter how many tears I’ve cried the pain is still there. It never goes away. Though it took some time for my grief demanded to be felt, but when it did, it surely hitted me onto my core.

I’m sorry for the fights and the tone of my voice, sorry for the nights when I made the wrong choice. Life is flyin' by and it's hittin' me now. I hope it's not, but If this is the last time, please come close I love you with all my heart, you know I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye If this is the last time.

Then let's do the things we always do, like go to the mall and buy some shoes I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbyes and I can’t say this is the last time I will ever cry about this grief I have in me. Its like a disease, it never goes away and its eating me slowly and alive.

I gained weight then lost some pounds again, life’s pretty hard lately. Career, finance and life choices. I kept on asking why on this time where you should be here with us and about to enjoy the fruits of your investments that’s when you left us..

Papa can’t be felt lately. Like he’s there not always. I feel sad whenever Philip’s Papa feels sorry that we dont have a parent with us. But I am so proud we get along for almost 3 years.. So many things happened, but this year’s the baddest. I felt so helpless for I cant voice out what I wanted. What I want to do, where I wanna go, what I want for my life. It felt like some things not okay and I wanna sleep for long and get over all of this.

There were days I thought what if we’ve switched places, maybe you were still here and doing fine and enjoying life. You deserve so much. I hope you’re really good up there and I hope you’re proud of us still after all. I finally made it to be ASE after a decade. I finally pursue getting into my real field. I am earning more than a usual employee but my expenses were big due to my extensive shopping when I should have listened to you.

I will do my best to over come that and do BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE THIS YEAR ENDS AND ROCK 2024 onwards. Life was never worst but never better. And I know I deserve more than all of this.

I miss you so much! I miss talking to you. I miss your laugh. I miss you text and chats. I miss the way you respond K to me. I miss you BiGTiMe that I can’t ask for another mom but you will always be my mom.

Happy birthday in heaven Mama! I love you. Say Hi to Prima for me. She’ll be with you there always.

X

A

[anjiluz]

31st.

Not on my prettiest, not well-dressed (but wearing stüssy), not yet done on the task given to me that day but overall I’m grateful to made it this far. Still far, but will keep on going.

Lot of roller-coaster sh*t happened before this day, but managed to stand-up on 8th and carry onto this life. Twas never easy mind you, but still here going onto this life.

A long way to go, but got more reason to go on and fulfill this journey. So I don’t have to go back and experience all of this mess on earth. Its so tiring here, knowing twasn’t your place since day one. But you’re here to work on something. So live and obey, and get your breakthrough.

I appreciated all the greetings and posts. My heart’s grateful. Way long to live. Keep safe y’all and pray.

xo,

A🩷

[anjiluz]

10 days before I turn 31.

Today’s selling of Eras Tour in SG!

@taylorswift why you didn’t include Philippines in Eras Tour? I’ve been waiting all my life to be enchated to meet you. 🥺🥺