Returning to the Tumblr void as an adult because I don't know where else on the internet I can share feelings of desolation/the art that emerges from them. This year my very long relationship ended and I am still relearning how to be a person on my own. I wrote this song after moving into my new apartment and it came out of me in one sitting, almost all at once. At the time, it felt like a plea.
It's been just about six months since that day and the intensity of the emotions is still palpable, but it doesn't frighten me anymore
Lyrics:
I'll light some candles for the smell, I will not take a picture
I'll close my eyes and breathe you in, and try not to remember
The time before I knew the difference between lonely and alone
I thought I knew myself but maybe you were just a very safe home
I don’t care if my life looks pretty as long as I feel something good
Inside my holy kitchen with two chairs that no one sits in
I’ll break every bread and butter plate and I will think on my mistakes
As things that I cannot regret like lighting your last cigarette
And I will breathe the smoke from my candles until I choke
I don’t care if my life looks pretty as long as I feel something good
