I will take your spleen

Look upon the wretched machinations of your own body and wonder whether we are deserving of our own intricacies

[fishpondfish]

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

[thememedaddy]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[ankleswallower]

"Stay safe" when someones going somewhere with absolutely no possibility of danger I.e. bathroom and "I'm always saying this" when I see a really weird and specific phrase

[mikiruma]

are you freaking serious did they actually put steve in minecraft

[mikiruma]

in my delirious half-awake state i appear to have typed the wrong game

[wingdingle]

attention to all dashcon attendees

someone urinated into the ballpit while it was empty and posted it in the tag

stay out of the ballpit

[wingdingle]

there are people who think this is a joke

this is not a joke

please stay out of the ballpit for the safety of your health

[defunctblog1]

Ancient scribes detailing horrible events

[thetyrannosaur]

[solarsyrup]

for whatever reason tumblr has flagged this post from a deleted blog as explicit so I can't even reblog it anymore which is a shame because it's one of my absolute favorites

[boltlightning]

can everyone do me a favor and tell me your favorite thing to put on toast in the tags

[boltlightning]

i love this post so much. all the replies are like

"i'm so basic.....i just like a lot of butter or jam :(" (as though those are not god's best and most beloved condiments and his greatest gifts to mankind)

"FUCK health guidelines FUCK my cholesterol and most importantly FUCK diet culture i'll put a dumpster full of butter on my toast and not even GOD will stop me" (no notes. god would encourage this)

doxxing one's self by mention of polarizing regional delicacies (i am so curious about vegemite i must admit)

"does a grilled cheese count as toast?" (not for the purposes of this post)

"i don't like toast please don't kill me" (i appreciate the honesty but i fear this post is not for you)

people who put full ass meals on toast (based)

people who do not but eat toast as a full meal (based)

melty peanut butter (absolutely based)

"it's a guilty pleasure but...nutella 😳" (relieve yourself of fear and enjoy your dessert toast)

special shoutout to the pots-havers adding extra salt. also the one person who mentioned kaya. i see you and am in agreement

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

everyone say in the tags what their current custom discord status is

[splendidland]

my idea for a new disney world ride. please signal boost this so that this ride can be at disney world.

[tumorhead]

one time I showed this to my husband and we both laughed so hard he legitimately thought there was some sort of gas leak

[lemonade-sky]

[ankleswallower]

Maybe the tumblr TV feature ain't so bad

[cat-source]

[theskullofjudgement]

CHOOSE

THE EVIL SKULL

THE LAUGHING SKULL

THE EMOTIONLESS SKULL

THE FIERCE SKULL

Voting ended onDec 26, 2025

[theskullofjudgement]

DO YOU GUYS NOT FUCK WITH THE SKULL OF JUDGEMENT ANYMORE

[dogpuppy]

[typhlonectes]

[sgt-celestial]

ms word ms excel and ms powerpoint are all snooty disagreeable ladies who wont speak to me due to my meager dowry but then i meet their beautiful sister ms paint whos clumsy but charming and we fall in beautiful love. and i become mr paint

[ankleswallower]

in the presidential election, have both candidates give birth live on stage and decide whos president based on a number of factors such as baby quality, birth speed and audience participation