An open book

A personal blog about my life and beliefs. Pushing back boundries, pondering different realities, questioning current thought forms societies psychological trends etc questioning my own humanity really

[anlantis81-blog]

[anlantis81-blog]

- A healthy dose of humility some might say i need a bit more we will see :p

Its that time of the year again when you have to leave everything that has been or is holding you back from growing!

I dont talk much about much of my stuff im either a great listener or i kind of prattle on really..

Going through some things at the moment, it might just be the breakthrough I've needed for so long to come face to face with myself and who i really am. I've been wondering around for the past few years not feeling like i can be myself wondering why i am here etc and its taken a few dear friends to believe the limitations ( limitations i have put on myself) to really give this a kick start. You know its a sad situation when others are actually buying into you selling your *stuff* your non growth. When people have flitting glimpses where they are starting to not believe you have the potential to grow and think this is all you have to offer them, yourself and when what your left to own to in others a bad taste or they feel you are bringing them down, its time to grow face it and move if others believe this is what i think of them far from the truth too. No one wants to be remembered this way or offer this to others its a complete waste of time and potential and i know we all have so much of that. I don't want this for the people i love far far from it but I'm so busy not loving myself I've got a lot to learn from it its all been a lesson ive needed to learn to have unconditional love not for myself not for others to love me unconditionally but for me to love others unconditionally. To be honest I have not been 100 open to others and i need to say this to others because i need to open up quite frankly im not one to talk about the weather im sorry! In the past ive had big periods where it has been hard sorting through all our human belief issues, is it mine is it yours etc its gotten very confusing when we have to accept all the traits we don't like in others in ourselves etc and I've been in a period where I've just learned to switch off to myself and others to work but through my stages of denial, in these periods I've still been giving it to negative thoughts of depression fear ego the usual crap we all face with when we go through challenges in life :) I've been thinking a lot about what i don't want to do everrr again. Isnt it refreshing and as long as i have an open heart to face it, i will be dandylion. Its made me think a lot of the times i could of used more compassion in situations with people dear to me! i believe no-one can be put down to go up from so this time im not giving in or giving up i just need to keep moving to better places, i have to forgive and know that love is a stronger power. So i have learned something very valuable indeed.