Passage du Désir

PLEASE NOTE: my messages have been disabled for some reason. So please go to my new blog, which is identical to this one, but more up to date. And it has messages. I want to explore and be explored. I want to be an open book. "Eroticism is one of the basic means of self-knowledge, as indispensable as poetry." (Anais Nin) Welcome: my blog is about my submissive life and my bisexuality. F 42 In year 15 of a D/s relationship with him. Avatar and header pic are me. I welcome thoughts, comments, kisses, caresses, long looks, and more - see my pinned post! Rebuilding after getting nuked - please visit -

[ann-admirer2]

(PLEASE NOTE: my messages have been disabled for some reason. So I've set up a new and identical blog, with messaging, which will also be more up to date. @ann-admirer4 . Go there! I am no longer posting or updating this blog. )

"Eroticism is one of the basic means of self-knowledge, as indispensable as poetry." (Anais Nin)

I want to explore and be explored.

I want to be an open book. I want to find the courage to be authentic about what I desire, what attracts me, what arouses me. Please open the book that is me.

This blog is about my submissive life and my bisexuality. It is for grown-ups, and contains erotic, sexual and personal content. It tries to reveal all of me - things I am proud of, things I am not proud of, and everything in between. I'm a girl who is always in flux, but I'm always the same girl. This blog is my parallel universe, where I do things that I normally don't do back in the real world.

About me: I am early 40s, northeast US. I have been in a D/s relationship for 15 years with my Man, my life partner, the most important person in my life. He keeps me whole. I am bisexual, I have girlfriends. They are not a casual thing. I can’t survive without them.

If a man ignores these realities and tries to make me his personal slut or whore, I resent it. On the other hand I welcome the sensual, sexual, and meaningful conversations that I love.

Pics: The pic above is me. It's also on my blog header. I change it from time to time. I am slowly adding a very few selective pics of me within my blog, tagged #me. That tag and others are listed below.

Asks: You can ask me anything – profound, personal, intimate, trivial, fun, sad – anything. I will find a way to answer. If it feels awkward, an anonymous Ask is a perfect option. I want to be an open book.

Hooking up: I'm not going to hook up on Tumblr. For those who already understood all this, sorry to repeat it.

Tags: Tumblr won't allow the tag "masturbation,” so I use “self-love.”

People say I’m sweet, warm and welcoming.

 Live every day. Be open, and love.

[ann-admirer2]

Good morning, sweet friends!

If you are a follower, you need to follow me now on @ann-admirer4 - HERE . I am no longer updating this blog. I have migrated it to my new blog because it is taking a very long time getting my messaging fixed. I hope you visit!

[ann-admirer4]

Good morning, sweet friends!

A "free the nipple" morning...

[ann-admirer2]

Hi!!

I have migrated my blog @ann-admirer2 to this new one @ann-admirer4, so please follow the new blog. It will include all my posts from @ann-admirer2, and I'll be operating from the new blog from now on. This was necessitated by a loss of messaging on @ann-admirer2, which apparently will take weeks to months to restore. It will be lovely to see you again!

Ann

Blaze

17 notes

[ann-admirer2]

Good morning, sweet friends!

I won't be updating this blog, so please follow my new one - I have migrated my blog @ann-admirer2 to my new one @ann-admirer4, so please follow the new blog. It will include all my posts from @ann-admirer2, and I'll be operating from the new blog from now on. This was necessitated by a loss of messaging on @ann-admirer2, which apparently will take weeks to months to restore. I want you to keep visiting!

[ann-admirer2]

Good morning, sweet friends!

I have migrated my blog @ann-admirer2 to my new one @ann-admirer4, so please follow the new blog. It will include all my posts from @ann-admirer2, and I'll be operating from the new blog from now on. This was necessitated by a loss of messaging on @ann-admirer2, which apparently will take weeks to months to restore. Lovely to see you again!

[ann-admirer2]

I started a new blog @ann-admirer4 . As a new blog, for a couple of days, you can send me messages but I can't reply - until they know my blog is for real. So to follow me, you'll need to follow that blog.

I am migrating everything to the new blog, and will operate that one from now on. I'll continue to check this blog, but not as thoroughly. I will no doubt be fixing little details (like making mature posts visible to me), as I go along.

The problem with my existing blog is that it lost its messaging over a week ago. I have had no replies to my Help requests. A friend who knows about these things, after asking me a bunch of questions, theorizes that it's because the mechanism Tumblr has identified that when I was in Mexico I used a VPN. Apparently many sites will filter out VPN traffic in some way. I don't really know - I have had no reply from the Help desk. My blog doesn't work for me if I can't somehow engage with those followers who want to message and Ask. So I bit the bullet. Remember you have to follow the new blog to get the new posts.

Thanks, my sweet, sweet friends!.

[ann-admirer2]

Thoughts on starting a new blog for messages?

I am thinking of it, yes. I don’t have a lot of email addresses I can use up. But it is frustrating . I hate not being able to message and receive messages. I might just gravitate my blog to a new blog. Watch this space!

I welcome thoughts and suggestions.

[ann-admirer2]

Rope bondage - I have had been suspended in similar ways.

My Man is experienced and reasonably quick, but it still takes time. This kind of rope bondage makes me feel like a piece of art, I confess. Transformed into something special. Totally naked, of course, and once he's done he likes to walk around me admiring his handiwork. He will adjust how a particular rope is wrapped against my skin, and talk to me and to himself. Usually, he will also start to play with my nipples and my pussy, and I will cum. This is almost habit, rather than the main purpose of the display. My orgasms in this situation are accessories, really, not the main event.

[ann-admirer2]

Reading is sexy, in so many ways...

This is how I feel today. Not a magazine, though, but a book. And naked. With a fire going maybe. I want to read deep thoughts. Reading inevitably causes me also to feel some deep things, and this also inevitably kindles the fire of my erotic self, because it is deep, too. These two deeps are both delicious, and I do feel my body get warm. Even if the deep thought is not an erotic one, my fingers will do their dance over my nipples. It's how I think, sometimes. I saw I want to explore and be explored, and that happens when I read something good. I had an anon Ask the other day about whether I considered myself a narratophile - this is someone who finds reading sexually stimulating. So maybe, despite my uncertainty the other day, when looked at in the way I have just described, reading inspires erotic feelings in me. Eventually. Or maybe it's just that my erotic self crawls into everything I do. I suspect that's really it.

[ann-admirer2]

Good morning, sweet friends!

[ann-admirer2]

I think any girl will see herself in this pic.

If not, then I can tell you I see myself. Since starting when I first had breasts. I still do it. Arms together like this, pushing them together, noticing things. In my case: my nipples, some differences between the left one and the right one, some particular freckles. The nipples will sometimes get hard when I do it, but not always. My breasts are definitely my "girls", I love them. I have written how they are very important to me, as erogenous zones. If you are a man and you have read my blog, you know that I like them manhandled, I want to feel your fingers grasping them, digging in, to the point of pain, I don't mind, even if there's a bruise or two afterward, and then tormenting my nipples. I like different treatment from a girl, and always have: with a girl I like my breasts showered with affection, adored, sucked, licked, pinched... you can drag your nails around them, I love that. I like to put them on display. They are part of my vanity, you could say. An important part of my desire to be desired.

And so much more. Ann's reflection on her breasts.

[ann-admirer2]

When was the last time you came at work? What were the circumstances?

I remember it very clearly. It was the day before I lost my messaging. I was chatting here on Tumblr with a follower about a couple of posts on my blog. He was asking some penetrating questions about my sexual responses, my arousal, how I would respond in certain situations. It was at work at the end of the day, my assistant was gone, but a few people were around. Nevertheless I was enjoying touching my nipples through my bra as we chatted, and also rubbing my pussy a bit. Eventually I had to cum. So I told him I need to sign off and cum. I locked my office door, put my feet up on my desk and had a delicious orgasm. That was about a week ago.

I should add, in case someone reads this and is shocked or surprised, that I think this is healthy behavior. And if it isn’t, it’s just me, the way I am. I want to be an open book.

[ann-admirer2]

Would you say you're a narratophile? If so then what makes you a narratophile?

Depends on your definition of a narratophile. I enjoy words in general, but I am not turned on by reading and words indiscriminately. I find most porn to be boring and junky, repetitive and predictable. I rarely find erotic literature arousing, although sometimes it inspires fantasies, and my imagination will take over.

I do like reading and words, enjoy them in a somewhat “pure” way - just if they are well-written, clear and original. I read poetry, I like words that much.

I have written literally hundreds of thousands of words in my work. Perhaps millions.

If you’re interested in the arousing side of my reaction to words - I find writing my own blog posts to be more arousing than porn. I find conversations I have with followers about my posts and my sexuality to be very arousing, that kind of writing. Sometimes so arousing that I have to go and masturbate. Honestly. That’s me, the honest Ann.

[ann-admirer2]

One hundred strokes before bed.

I have written about this pic before. It reminds me so much of my year in college when I led a lesbian existence, attached to a girl a few years older, a PhD student. Although I had a room in residence, I spent most of my time at her place off-campus. Her place was spacious. We were together one year, and during that time I was exclusive to her. It was my junior year. I had long hair then, and she would watch me do this. It's an old practice, if you have long hair - give it a hundred strokes before bed. There's are actually a couple of erotic novels by that title, one better than the other, but I can't remember the authors and they must be out of print because I can't find them. She would watch me do this and I would be very focused, counting my hundred strokes. When we went out with her lesbian friends, they would all want to touch my hair - they all had short hair. I was like a museum piece to them, a bit of a doll, and she loved that, how they made a big deal out of me and my hair the way I tended to wear low cut tops or tight tops that showed of my breasts and nipples. They would openly ask my gf what it my nipples were like and she would just roll her eyes, thankfully. Living the lesbian life was good for me, and I sank into it naturally. I'd still look at guys and think of them sexually, but I felt very special. She spoiled me, although at the same time she had high expectations. Being a PhD student she was very smart, but very specialized, whereas I was a philosophy student and more of a generalist, so our "discussions" when we were being intellectual never stayed within the narrow boundaries that she liked. There were a few occasions that I think rarely occur now, when someone would see we were lesbians and kick up a fuss. It still happens now, I know, in certain places, but people are basically over it. After a year we split up, I was restless, and knew then I needed a man as well. I have the fondest memories though.

This isn't an erotic story, but the pic stirred up all kinds of emotion.

[ann-admirer2]

A reblog, because a follower asked for more history to this year of mine. Enjoy, sweet friends.

[ann-admirer2]

I have a pic in mind for when my messaging is back online.

There is now a smidgen of hope. If it doesn't happen, then I will start a new blog. Which is a pain, especially because my blog falls within the guidelines. I have no flagged posts.

I'll keep you posted! In the meantime, if you want to comment on a post, pls go ahead! I'll catch up eventually.

Ann

[ann-admirer2]

Prelude to an anal evening.

I want to get this skirt. If you were with me, and had sexual plans that included anal pleasure, wouldn't you find this an exciting skirt for me to where? The stockings, too. It would have to be a special location - or perhaps not. But it would have to be a place where the skirt could be seen and appreciated. And therefore the stockings too. Need to think about that. One thing - instead of a thong, I think a nice colored glass butt plug would be the right accessory. I might even be encouraged to show it off somehow, if that were the case. The thought that I would be ready at a moment's notice, just unzip and the fun begins. Wouldn't that be delicious?

[ann-admirer2]

An interesting masturbation request...

The masturbation fantasy takes various forms, for me. For instance, I could be masturbating for you because I like you, and my Man and I have decided that this would be a lovely experience, for both me and you to share a moment of affection. Or it might occur because he has found someone who has let him know he is interested. Would he pay? This changes the tone quite a bit, but it might also be delicious.

When I see a pic or a gif, it triggers a situation, and this gif did.

In this situation, the man has met me, and somehow through the grapevine (very discreetly) he has let my Man know this is what he wants. What he especially wants is for me to masturbate on a bed, naked, of course, but face down, at least to begin with. No doubt this would involve some interesting anal play, maybe if I get up on my knees, which is a favorite posture of mine when I masturbate for real. One hand fingering my pussy and one hand fingering my ass... it is very very sexy to me to do that.

Such delicious thoughts.