annahandjesus

Just living for Christ

[annahandjesus]

UNFORGIVENESS

Allow me to suggest that the bitterness that we hold in our hearts might just be the thing that denies us access to Heaven and all its glory. Allow me to suggest that finding comfort in anger and rage might just be the thing that deprives a lot of us Christians eternal life.

I say this because one wise 85-year-old woman left me with this... "don't answer back, forgive them and give them to God." It dawned on me that I can be very unforgiving, I tend to keep record of wrong doings and at times I withhold help to those who have offended me because well "they don't deserve it" I justify. There is not God in that, how will God grant me His grace if can't do the same for those of His?

my heart posture is quite a mess, Lord help me...

[annahandjesus]

Conviction on fear

A revelation was waiting for me in my prayer room this morning. After an hour of having the Holy Spirit call me out for being comfortable with disobedience, I was in for a ride today. My 22-year-old self would have never thought that the fear that keeps standing in my way every time I feel compelled to talk about Christ turns into disobedience when I submit to it and stay quiet.

44 minutes into Emy Moore's podcast episode about the Fear of embarrassment being the thief of opportunity, I was having to face her. The little girl in me who was loud and curious, loving speech and outspoken in her nature. I had to face her and ask her why this outward me is shy and introverted. I had to ask her why I struggle speaking my heart out, why I lack confidence in God, and you know what she said?

"I was scared, every time I did what I thought was right I was given a hiding, every time I wanted to speak up for myself, I was told to keep quiet, so I kept quiet. I hated being shouted at and getting a hiding was the worst, so I caved in. My outspoken nature, my love for literature, my yeaning to speak, my love for speech, no one nurtured it." She said," I'm sorry that you are 22 and you now have to do the stepping out of the shell, the speaking up and the nurturing all by yourself.

But hey at least now I know why I respond the way I do. This is a healing only God can see through. He does not give the spirit of fear but that of peace, love and a sound mind. This fear shall overcome me no more, In Jesus' Mighty Name.