HI! my name is anna (19) and i'm picking up writing for the first time since i was 12.
some things about me: i love coffee and fun drinks (i have multiple a day, it's a problem). i'm an avid reader - PLEASE talk to me about your favorite books. i'm a college student from the south living in the midwest
right now i am working on a will smith hockey x reader fic, but i am open to blurb requests to help me get back into the swing of things! here's what/who i'm open to writing for (x reader):
MHA: katsuki bakugo
NHL: ws2, mc71, sc87, bk81, cb98
HP: weasley twins (i'm in love with george), harry potter, draco malfoy, oliver wood, ron weasley, cedric diggory, neville longbottom (probable more, just ask!)
note: this list WILL expand as time goes on! right now i am slowly getting back into writing and would like to stick with people and characters that i know and are comfortable with :) i am so excited to hang here with you guys!
pairing -> sidney crosby x mackinnon little sister!reader
word count -> 9.9k (buckle up hahaha)
summary -> After a lifetime of chasing perfection, you walk out on your corporate career with zero notice and retreat to your older brother’s house for a quiet summer of rest. What you never saw happening was falling for his best friend and hockey legend Sidney Crosby, who is twelve years your senior. Sidney has a spotless reputation and a strict moral code that is infamous throughout the league. A strict moral code that explicitly forbids him from crossing the line with his best friend’s younger sister. Unfortunately, his heart doesn’t get the memo. As a heavy attraction pulls you two together in a secret summer bubble, you’re both left wondering: how long can you both resist temptation before the secret is exposed, threatening to turn your new beginning into dust?
warnings -> car crash and medical imagery. age gap relationship. anxiety. angst with a happy ending.
msb yaps -> one more chapter to goooooooo!!!! as always, giant thanks to @lestapiastrisgirl for beta reading even though she's very much not into hockey and always keeping me from walking out into traffic. divider by @diviniyae
series master list | main master list | lets yap
“Tell you what,” Sidney’s voice rumbled softly through the Porsche’s bluetooth speakers, thick with sleep still. “I’m just making some coffee but once it’s done, I’ll change and get in the car and bring you the sweater.”
You smile, the sound of his voice grounding as you wait for the light in front of you to change. It flips to green and you press on the gas, easing the small car forward.
“You’ll freeze by noon if you don’t have anything warmer on, and I don’t want you -”
A massive pickup truck flies through the intersection, completely oblivious to the red light.
The driver doesn’t even brake.
Without warning, your entire world explodes into a shower of screaming metal and blinding pain.
The truck slams into the passenger side door, the momentum of the impact throwing the tiny sports car across the asphalt like a toy.
Inside the car, your universe becomes a chaotic blur of noise and pain.
The airbags explode with deafening force. Glass shatters into a million glittering shards, slicing through the air as the frame of the car buckles under the crushing weight of the truck. Your head whips violently to the side, striking the door frame with a sickening crack that makes the world go black at the edges.
Your own terrified scream is completely swallowed by the roar of twisting metal.
The Porsche spins across the road, coming to a grinding halt against a telephone pole. A heavy, suffocating silence descends on the intersection.
You were pinned between the drivers side door and the collapsed dashboard. Your ribs scream in white-hot agony every time you try to take a shallow breath. The coppery taste of blood fills your mouth as a steady, warm trickle of something sticky begins to drip down the side of your face.
Through the disorienting chaos, a familair sound pierces the quiet.
A voice - distant and frantic - is shouting, sounding completely unraveled.
Someone was shouting your name, you think slowly, blinking against the blinding light of the sun in front of you.
“Baby, talk to me. What happened? Baby! Please!”
It sounded like Sidney. But it couldn’t be him. He was still at his house, probably asleep under the sheets, the lucky bastard.
“Sid…” You try to say his name. Maybe you do, you’re not entirely sure.
Everything feels fuzzy around the edges and you're suddenly incredibly tired. It takes too much strength to even keep your eyes open. Off in the distance, you swear you hear sirens wailing.
“I’m coming. Baby, please. Stay with me. Talk to me, don’t you dare leave me.”
You try to answer. Try to tell him that you’d never leave him. Not after last night. But you can't seem make the words form in your throat. You know what you want to say, what you wanted him to hear. The sound of his terrified voice set off alarm bells somewhere deep in your mind but for some reason, you couldn’t quite make the panic stick.
Everything was getting softer.
Darker.
Colder.
It felt like you were drowning and before you can force yourself to open your eyes one more time, Sidney’s voice fades completely.
Back at the house, the phone line doesn’t disconnect but the silence on the other end stretches for far too long.
Sidney doesn’t think. He’s not really sure he’s capable of forming any thought other than ‘I need to get to her’. Adrenaline surges through his veins, shattering the lingering cobwebs of sleep in less than a few seconds. His coffee mug smashes against the hardwood floor in the kitchen as he sprints down the hallway.
He yanks a t-shirt over his head, flying towards the garage. He pauses only long enough to slip his feet into a pair of sandals that were laying by the door and grab the keys to his Suburban off the hook at the door.
Sidney is starting the car before the garage door is even open, looking down at his phone to see that it’s still connected, despite the fact that you’ve stopped responding. He needed to call 911 but he didn’t want to hang up on you. Somehow, he manages to remember how to put a call on hold, frantically tapping the three numbers as he tears out of the garage and down the driveway at what surely was an illegal speed.
“911, what is your emergency?”
“There’s been an accident, a really bad one. I need an ambulance and fire and rescue and the police.” Sidney does his best to keep his voice calm so the operator can understand him but the sound of your scream is still ringing in his ears as he presses the gas pedal on his SUV.
“And where is this accident, sir?” The operator’s voice is calm but it does nothing to soothe Sidney’s absolute panic.
“Intersection of Quarton Lake and Highway 23. She’s in a black Porsche Taycan and she’s stopped responding about five minutes ago. Please, you’ve got to send everyone over there - she stopped answering me!”
The operator taps away at her keyboard, listening silently to the wavering in Sidney’s voice. “Ah, yes. We’ve got a few calls for that exact crash already. We dispatched fire and police there about three minutes ago, they should be arriving at the scene shortly. Are you there at the scene, sir? Is anyone else hurt?”
Sidney is forced to stop at a red light, the panic in his chest feeling like a vice. “I have no idea. I was on the phone with her when the crash happened. She was conscious for a few seconds but then stopped responding. The line is still active though…”
“Okay, I just got a radio that police and fire are on the scene and they are preparing to extract her from the car.”
“Is she okay?” Sidney practically yells as the light in front of him turns green.
“That I don’t know sir, she’s probably going to be taken to the nearest hospital but please rest assured, we are doing everything in our power to get her out of the car right now.”
Sidney had never driven like this in his entire life. The world outside his windshield is a blur of early morning light and green trees, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped animal.
He was begging whatever deity may have been listening on that Monday morning to just keep you be breathing until he got there.
“Thank you.” He chokes out, hanging up the phone as he comes around the final corner.
What he sees makes his entire chest crack wide open.
The intersection is alive with flashing emergency lights and screaming sirens. Three police cruisers, two fire trucks and an ambulance were already on the scene, their red and blue strobe lights cutting through the pale morning light.
Sodney spots the Porsche immediately, pinned between a light pole and the pickup truck that had caused the accident. The car is unrecognizable. The passenger side was entirely caved in, driver’s side crumpled against the telephone pole.
“No, no, no.” Sidney chokes out, throwing the Suburban into park right in the middle of the road and leaps out without even bothering to take the keys out of the ignition.
He sprints towards the wreckage, chest heaving, panic wild in his eyes. He screams your name, not even sure what he’s trying to do other than get some sort of visual confirmation that you’re still breathing.
“Woah, woah! Sir, stop! You can’t go over there, it’s an active rescue scene.” A heavy-set police officer steps into his path, his hands coming up to slam against Sidney’s chest.
“Let me go.” Sidney bellows. "That’s my girlfriend in there!”
He tries to twist out of the officer’s grip, eyes locked on the firemen who were using the jaws of life to cut through the passengers side door.
He sees a flash of hair and then your pale skin peeking through the gap in the door that the firemen had already managed to open up. Sidney’s stomach roils when he sees the blood.
There's so much blood.
It seemed to be coming from one giant gash on your forehead but he couldn’t get close enough to see anything more.
“Son, you need to step back right now and let them do their job.” The officer barks as he holds Sidney back by his shoulders. “You’re only going to get in the way and then it’ll take them longer to get to her. This is their job, Mister Crosby. Let them do it.”
Sidney stops fighting, his shoulders sagging in defeat.
He knew deep down that the officer was right. All Sidney would do was get in the way and he’d be damned if he caused you any more pain than he already had by allowing you to drive to the rink by yourself that morning.
Sidney watches in horror as the paramedics carefully slide the spine board underneath you to safely extract you form the car.
You were unconscious, face covered in blood and your ankle was twisted at an odd angle.
He’d never felt more helpless in his entire life.
“She’s stable, but in pretty bad shape.” A paramedic shouts over the noise.
Sidney surges forward.
The cop that had stopped him before allows him to get closer to the ambulance now that the rescue operation was complete.
“Can I go with her? Please. She’s…” His voice cracks, panic clawing at his throat as he watches the other paramedic start an IV in your arm. “She’s everything.”
The paramedic shakes his head, his expression empathetic. “No room, we’ve got to have two people working on her. We’re going to Valley General though, you can follow us.”
The paramedic slams the heave double doors before jogging around to the front of the ambulance, climbing into the drivers seat. The sirens wail to life as the vehicle tears away from the curb, the tires kicking up a spray of gravel as it speeds towards the hospital.
Sidney stands on the edge of the road for a few agonizing seconds, the cool morning breeze ruffling his slept-in bed head. The reality of what he’d just witnessed settles into his gut.
Sidney had spent all summer agonizing over if loving you was the right move, the safe move. And here he was, one day after finally figuring out that being with you was worth every risk he was asked to take wondering if he'd ever be able to kiss you again.
The mechanical click-beep of the heart monitor was the only sound anchoring Sidney to the ICU room.
He hadn’t moved in four hours.
Sidney sat hunched over in the uncomfortable vinyl chair, his broad shoulders curved into a tight, protective shield over the edge of your hospital bed. He was completely unraveled. Every ounce of the stoic, stable, untouchable hockey captain he was, stripped away.
His calloused hands were wrapped entirely around the hand that was free of any IVs or monitors, holding your fingers right up against his mouth as he braced his elbows against the stiff mattress of the hospital bed.
You looked so impossibly frail beneath the starched white hospital blanket. The vibrancy that always radiated off of you was completely muted in that hospital room.
You were practically swallowed up by a web of plastic IV tubes and various monitors that were keeping track of your vitals. The harsh, fluorescent lights overhead cast a sickening glow over the dark purple bruise that was already blooming across your left cheekbone. A neat line of stitches cut right down your fave from one temple down to your ear.
The emergency doctor had explained that miraculously, the only significant injuries you had were a severe concussion and a few broken ribs. He had looked Sidney dead in the eye and promised him that you were going to be okay, that the human body was resilient and that you would make a full recovery.
Looking at you like this, so weak and frail, completely motionless under the heavy haze of the sedatives to keep you calm and pain free was torture. Sidney couldn’t stop the suffocating terror that he’d felt on the side of the road watching the ambulance race away from surfacing again.
His eyes squeeze shut, jaw trembling against the cool, clammy skin of your hand as his lips moved in a low, almost silent whisper.
Sidney didn’t quite know who he was talking to. He hadn’t stepped foot in a church in decades, certainly not since before he was a teenager. Religion had never been part of his life other than the odd Easter and Christmas Eve service.
But in the sterile, brightly lit hospital room, he felt compelled to ask whatever benevolent life force that may be watching over you to intervene. He didn’t know if he was using the right words, didn’t know if he was even supposed to be sending what felt like a prayer up into the universe when he’d never spoken to any kind of god before now.
Sitting in that vinyl chair that afternoon, Sidney offered up his career, his health, his own lungs - anything - if it meant you would just open your eyes and come back to him.
“Please” He begs, so softly that even he can’t quite make out the exact words. “Just let her wake up. Take whatever you need from me, whatever you want. Just give her back to me. I can’t live without her. Not anymore.”
Pressing his lips to your knuckles again, the stubble on his jaw scratching gently against your skin, Sidney is completely trapped in his own silent vigil. He knew the doctors had said the danger had passed, that you would wake up when your body decided it was ready and you’d eventually be completely fine, but he was still completely paralyzed by the fear that if he let go of your hand for even a second, the monitors would go flat.
Sidney would live and die by the beeping of that monitor until you opened your eyes, completely broken by the realization of how close he’d come to losing the only thing that actually mattered to him.
When the heavy door to your ICU room flies open, Sidney doesn’t even look up. He barely even hears the door slamming against the rubber bumpers as Nate came crashing through them, face deathly pale. Charlotte was right behind him, her fingers dug into the fabric of his sleeve, eyes wide and red rimmed.
Nate had been at the airport picking Charlotte up after her weekend in Toronto when his phone had started blowing up. A police officer friend of his had seen your name on your driver’s license, instantly recognizing that you were Nate’s little sister and had called him immediately. Nate had broken several laws, flying down the highway on pure adrenaline.
His sneakers skid on the linoleum as he rushes into the room, breathless and sweaty from running all the way in from the parking lot.
Your name dies on his lips the moment he takes in the scene before him.
The room is completely silent except for the steady beeping of the heart monitor as you lay motionless in the hospital bed. But that isn’t what stops Nate in his tracks, Charlotte bumping into his back because he freezes so suddenly.
It was the man sitting in the vinyl chair, his entire upper body folded over the bedside as he clutched at your hand. Nate stared, chest heaving, his brain completely short circuiting as he looked at Sidney’s hands wrapped protectively around yours.
“Sid?” Nate’s voice is a mask of confusion as he tries to figure out what he’s looking at. “What…what are you doing here?”
Sidney turns his head slowly to look at your brother.
He hadn’t quite thought about what would happen when Nate showed up at the hospital. He’d thought that he’d have more time to figure out what he’d say, to figure out how he was going to explain this. His terror was still so raw and he hadn’t had the chance to talk to you, to make sure that you were okay. He wasn’t quite functioning as well as he’d hoped.
“The Porsche.” Sidney rasps, his voice so raw it sounded like metal scraping against metal. “She was driving my car. I heard it. I heard it all happen on the phone.”
Nate blinks, his brow furrowing as he tried to make sense of what Sidney was telling him. “The Porsche?” He asks, completely bewildered by what the hell was going on.
Why was his best friend sitting hunched over his little sister like this? Why was his best friend holding your hand against his lips like they belonged there?
“Why the fuck was she driving your car? The crash happened at 730 on a Monday morning. She shouldn’t have even been on Quarton Lake Road, that’s almost fifteen minutes in the other direction of the rink from my house. Why was she even at your place that early, Sid?”
Sidney doesn’t answer. He’d promised himself that morning, before the crash, that he’d come clean with Nate that day no matter what but telling him the truth about what had happened that weekend, what had been happening all summer right under his nose while you were still sedated after your crash seemed like it would be in poor taste.
He just closes his eyes, his forehead dropping down to rest on your knuckles in his hands.
It’s Charlotte that puts the final pieces in the puzzle together moments later. She lets out a small gasp, her hand flying to her mouth as she realizes what had happened. She’d suspected something was going on all summer - she’d caught the lingering glances, the heavy silences but looking at Sidney right now, completely broken as he hovered over you, she was shocked at how gone for you he really was.
Nate’s eyes ping between the hospital bed and Charlotte and then back at Sidney’s bowed head, at his broad shoulders trembling as he watched your sleeping form.
Slowly, the pieces start to fit together. The last minute change of plans and Sidney backing out of the golf weekend. You being at his house early on Monday morning, driving his car. The way Sidney looked complete destroyed by your injuries.
It finally clicks and rage surges through Nate’s veins.
“You…” Nate mutters, realization hitting him like a slap in the face. “Oh my God. You…you and my sister? Behind my back? The entire summer? Get the fuck out, right now.”
Sidney’s fingers tighten around your hand, his jaw setting as he finally lifts his head to look up at your brother. “No.”
Nate takes a step forward. “Get the fuck out of here, Crosby.” Nate shouts, his voice cracking with a mix of betrayal and fury as his fists ball up at his sides. “My sister is lying in that hospital bed because of you. Because she was driving your car on a road she shouldn’t have even been on because what? You wanted to fuck her one more time before the summer ended?”
Behind him, Charlotte gasps at the venom in Nate’s voice, stepping closer to put a hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder.
Nate shakes her off, “You lied to me. All summer you lied to me, looked me in the eye and hid this for how long? Were you warning the younger guys off of her this whole time because you wanted her for yourself? You fucking pig.”
“Nothing happened before this weekend.” Sidney fires back, standing up so he can face Nate eye to eye. “I swear to you, nothing happened. We only just kissed for the first time Saturday night. I wanted to tell you -”
“Don’t give me that bullshit. I’m not stupid.” Nate spits, his face flushed as he grabs the front of Sidney’s t-shirt. “She’s my baby sister, Crosby. The only sibling I have. Our parents are in Europe, I’m the only family she has right now. You don’t get to keep secrets about her and you sure as hell don’t get to sit here playing hero after you’re the reason she got into that accident in the first place.”
“It’s a concussion and some broken ribs, Nate. She’s going to be okay, she’ll make a full recovery. The doctors said -”
“I don’t give a fuck what the doctors said. Get out!” Nate shoves Sidney so hard he stumbles back a few steps, nearly colliding with your bed behind him.
Your brother takes another step towards Sidney like he's going to throw a punch right there in your hospital room. Before he can lift his fist to take a swing, Charlotte catches his shoulder, yanking him back with a surprising amount of strength for someone as tiny as she was.
“Enough!” She cries. “Knock it off, the both of you before someone calls security and you get escorted out.”
Nate turns to his girlfriend and frowns. Sidney takes a step back, crossing his arms over his chest.
Charlotte takes a smalls step forward, placing herself between the two men. “Sidney, look at me. She’s stable and the medication is probably going to keep her asleep for a while. Why don’t you give Nate a minute, go take a walk or something.”
Sidney shakes his head, the palm of his hand resting at the foot of your hospital bed. “I’m not leaving her, Char.”
“I’m not asking you to leave the hospital.” She says gently, her gaze falling to your sleeping form next to him. “Just go take a walk down the hall, to the family waiting room or the cafeteria or something. Take a breath, clean yourself up. Let Nate have a minute with his sister. I promise you, the second she opens her eyes, I’ll come get you myself, okay?”
Sidney stares at Charlotte, his shoulders sagging as the exhaustion of the last few hours finally catches up to him. He looks down at his own shaking hands and knows she’s right. He needed a break and he couldn’t fight Nate about this right now. Not here.
He lets out a sigh before looking at your pale face one last time. “You promise you’ll come get me?”
“I swear.” She nods.
Sidney nods, reluctantly backing away, his sneakers dragging on the linoleum as he walks out the door leaving Charlotte and Nate alone in your hospital room with your sleeping form.
After Sidney is gone, the room settles into a tense quiet. The only other sound beyond Nate’s heavy breathing is the beeping of your heart monitor.
Nate drops heavily into the vinyl chair that Sidney had been sitting in. Settling his elbows on his knees, he buries his face in his hands, broad shoulders shaking as he drags in a shuttering breath.
Charlotte steps up behind him, resting her hands firmly on his shoulders. “Nate…breathe. She’s going to be okay. Sidney said it was a concussion and some broken ribs.”
“Don’t say his name.” Nate bites out, lifting his head to stare at your face, so calm and peaceful despite the sickening bruise taking up half of your face. “I can’t believe him. All summer, Char! We’ve been friends for decades and he spent all summer sneaking around with my little sister behind my back!”
“Nate, you saw him.” Charlotte whispers, her eyes drifting over to the doorway where Sidney had just disappeared. “He’s wracked with guilt over this entire thing. He’s completely undone over her being hurt and I know he blames himself. You saw his face, babe. That wasn’t the look of a guy who was casually fooling around with someone. He was praying over her.”
“I don’t care!” Nate snaps, struggling to keep his voice to a whisper so as not to disturb you. He stands up, pacing the small width of the room, his fists clenched and his jaw tight. “She’s my sister. He’s my friend. There are rules, Charlotte. He should have come to me the moment he figured out he had feelings for her, not after she ends up in the ICU while driving his fucking car.”
“He was terrified.” Charlotte argues gently, stepping into his path to stop Nate’s pacing. “They both were. Think about how you would have reacted if they would’ve told you three weeks ago. You would have lost your damn mind and you know it. They were trying to protect -”
A low groan cuts off what Charlotte had intended to say. Your heart monitor’s rhythm spikes, the beeps catching in a sudden staccato. Both Charlotte and Nate freeze, their heads snapping towards your hospital bed.
Your eyelids flutter, heavy and uncooperative as you try to fight the crushing weight of the sedatives in your system. The world was a dizzying blur of overwhelming white lights and a blinding pain in your head. You swallowed hard, your throat feeling like sandpaper as you try to piece together where the hell you were and what had happened to put you there.
Nate is at your side in a fraction of a second, your name falling from his lips in a frantic whisper. “Hey. Hey, there you are. Look at me, kiddo. I’m right here. Me and Charlotte are right here. You’re in the hospital.”
You finally get your eyelids to cooperate, opening your eyes fully as Nate’s image swims above you. Tilting your head weakly towards the sound of his voice, your vision slowly stitches the room together piece by piece. You see your brother’s terrified face, pale and drawn as Charlotte hovers over his shoulder.
Your hands were cold though. The heavy warmth that had been anchoring you through the hours that you’d fought the heavy darkness that the sedatives kept you was gone. The smell of cedar and laundry soap hung faintly in the air still but it wasn’t as strong as it had been when you’d been asleep, trying to fight off the sedatives and open your eyes.
“Sid…” You croak.
Nate flinches.
You swallow hard, your fingers twitching weakly against the mattress, reaching blindly for the heat that had left the room. It takes more effort than it should but your head hurts so bad and you can’t quite put a sentence together right away.
“Nate…where…” You swallow, shaking your head as frustration burns in your chest. “Where’s Sidney?”
Before Nate can even form a response, the door to your ICU room flies open.
Sidney hadn’t gone to the family waiting room or on a walk. He hadn’t gone any further beyond the door, leaving it cracked so he could hear if you did wake up. The second he heard your voice, raspy and weak, carrying over the threshold of the open door, he’d lost all of the thinly held self-control he’d had left.
“Baby.” He breathes when his eyes lock on yours, wild and bloodshot.
The moment he comes around the corner, the sheer terror of the crash, the pain of the broken ribs and concussion, and the suffocating fog of the sedatives you’d been given catch up to you all at once. Tears instantly fill your eyes, spilling over as you watch Sidney freeze at the foot of your bed.
“Sid.” You sob, your chest heaving against the white-hot agony of your broken ribs. Your heart monitor spikes as the pain sears your lungs, panic threatening to choke you. “I am so sorry…The truck, it came out of nowhere, I swear. I didn’t even see it and…oh my God.” You breath comes in short bursts as you try to breathe through the tears, agonizing panic racing through your veins. “I am so sorry. I totaled your car. Please don’t be mad at me. Are you mad at me?”
Sidney stops in his tracks at the side of your bed, the color draining from his face as he looks down at you. The raw panic in his eyes melts instantly into an expression so gentle your heart squeezes. A single sob slips past his lips as he collapses into the chair beside your bed that Nate had vacated when he'd come storming back into the room.
“You think I care about a car?” He rasps, wholly forgetting your brother and Charlotte are still in the room as his universe shrinks down to the space you’re occupying in the hospital bed.
Carefully, as if you were made of glass and on the brink of shattering, Sidney brings a hand up to frame your face. His thumb brushes as a tear that was tracking down your cheek. You lean into the heavy weight of it, using his touch to ground yourself as you continued to fight of the sleepy fog of the sedatives.
“Sweetheart,” He pleads softly, his brown eyes swimming with tears as he stares at you as if he thought he’d never see you again. “I don’t care about the car, it’s just a bunch of metal and glass. I don’t care about anything else in this world other than the fact that you’re awake and looking at me right now.”
He leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. His hands were shaking as they held yours, his chest hitching with a quiet sort of sob that you knew he was trying hard to keep under control for your sake.
“I heard that crash over the phone, baby. I thought I lost you. Nothing else matters, nothing in the world matters besides you being okay.”
Sidney shifts his head slowly, his lips catching yours in a gentle kiss. It's soft, salted with both of your tears and thick with the quiet relief of a man who had just crawled back from the depths of hell. He kisses you with a reverence that makes the rest of the room fall into nothingness.
When he pulls back, you blink over at him, totally overwhelmed with the emotion he’d poured into the kiss.
"Are you sure?”
Sidney can’t help the laugh that starts in the back of his throat. He shakes his head, “Stop. There is no way I could be anything but relieved that you’re okay.” He tucks a stray hair behind your ear. “I thought I lost you today. There was so much blood when I got to the crash and then they wouldn’t let me go with you. I lost my damn mind thinking I’d never get to see you again.”
It’s your turn to wipe a tear from Sidney’s cheek as you smile weakly at him. “I was convinced that I was going to die on that stupid ferris wheel on Saturday. How boring is it that it was a pickup truck that nearly took me out?”
Sidney chokes on a laugh.
“Jesus Christ, baby.” He mutters, shaking his head.
A few feet away, Nate and Charlotte sit frozen, completely paralyzed as they watch the interaction in front of them unfold. Nate’s fists are still clenched but the white-hot fury in his veins had been replaced by a stunned sort of hollow disbelief. He’d known Sidney for almost two decades. He’d seen him win championships, break bones, and face down the most brutal pressures the sport could throw at him without ever allowing the mask to slip.
Looking at Sidney now, draped over your hospital bed, tears falling freely and holding his little sister with a tenderness so profound it was heartbreaking, Nate was completely blindsided.
This wasn’t some summer fling.
It wasn’t betrayal born out of carelessness or desire to hide something scandalous from him.
Sidney was in love with you. Entirely and consumingly in love with you. Even though he was still beyond furious at how the entire situation had played out, even Nate couldn’t deny that it was true. Not after seeing how Sidney had behaved with you just now.
As Charlotte reaches out to quietly take Nate’s trembling hand, he realized that everything he’d thought about his friendship with Sidney and his relationship with you had just changed forever.
“Alright then, here are all of the doctor’s orders printed out, including any prescriptions that weren’t filled here at the hospital.” The nurse that had been on duty when you’d come to the ICU 48 hours ago hands a giant packet of papers to Sidney before turning to you with a stern look in her eye. “Stay off the screens as much as possible, they trigger migraines while you’re recovering from the concussion. Take it easy with exercise, nothing too strenuous and absolutely no lifting anything for the next month.”
You sat on the edge of the mattress, your legs angling over the side as you listened to the blonde nurse that had taken a liking to you over the last few days.
“Thank you so much, Helen.” You smile, genuinely grateful for all of the nurses and doctors who had taken care of you after the accident.
“I’ll make sure she follows the protocol to the letter.” Sidney adds from where he was standing at the edge of your bed.
“She’s very lucky to have so many people loving on her while she recovers, that’s for sure.” Helen nods and then offers one last goodbye before she slips out the door, leaving you alone with Sidney and your brother.
Nate steps forward, a black duffel bag stuffed with clothes Charlotte had brought you slung over one shoulder. He looked tired, like he’d aged a few dozen years since you’d landed yourself in the hospital but his expression was filled with relief as well.
Everyone was just happy to have you going home so soon.
“Alright.” Nate says, his voice loud, sounding intentionally forced as he deliberately ignores Sidney’s presence in the room. “The car is out by valet waiting for you. Charlotte spent the morning making sure you room was clean and all set up, I even put up some blackout curtains up last night to help with the bright light that the doctors said could trigger the concussion symptoms to flare. Mom and dad wanted you to call them once you got settled. I told them you would once I got you home.”
You swallow hard, anxiety churning in your stomach.
You look at your brother and feel a heavy pang of guilt at what you’re about to do. But then your gaze shifts to the side to where Sidney is standing. He hadn’t left your bedside once since you’d been admitted. He’d slept in the vinyl chair next to your bed the entire time and hadn’t even gone home to change or take a shower, despite you insisting you’d be fine if he left for a quick trip home. He’d held your hand through the worst of the pain as the doctors had weaned you off the heavies of pain meds with an intensity that was borderline feral.
“Nate…” You start, your fingers tangling together anxiously in your lap. “I’m not going back to the house.”
Nate blinks, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I’m going to go stay with Sid for the rest of the summer while I recover.”
The room goes completely still.
Nate freezes, the color draining from his face as his eyes ping from you over to his best friend.
“Are you kidding me right now? You live with me, YN. He hid this from me all summer while pretending everything was normal and now you’re just going to pack up and move into his place? I’m not going to just pretend this is okay because of your accident and injuries.”
“The doctor says I need to be in a place where I feel safe.” You start as gently as you can, watching the color rise in your bother’s cheeks as you reach out blindly for Sidney’s hand. “I need somewhere that’s calm and quiet and I don’t want to be a burden on you and Charlotte.”
“You’re not a burden!” Nate protests but the moment you reach out for Sidney, he steps forward, inserting himself between you and your brother’s frustration.
“She’s coming home with me, Nate. We discussed it last night and this is what’s best for her. My place is quiet and locked down. You’ve got guys coming in and out at all hours of the day, staying in your guest house and in the spare rooms down the hall. It’s not a place where she’ll have the opportunity to recover like she will at my place. I’ve got it all handled.”
“I wasn’t talking to you, Crosby.” Nate spits. “She’s my little sister, she was living under my roof. She’s my responsibility, not yours. How am I supposed to trust you to take care of her when you couldn’t even tell me that you were falling for her in the first place?”
“Because I almost lost her.” Sidney argues, his voice going raw and vulnerable in a way that makes Nate pause for a moment. “I spent the last three days watching her lay there in a hospital bed recovering from an accident that was my fault. I saw her get extracted from that car not knowing if she was even alive, not knowing if I’d ever hear her say my name again. If you think that I’m going to let her out of my sight for even a single second for the rest of the summer, you don’t know me at all. I don’t care about anything else, just that she has the opportunity to recover.”
Tears sting at the corner of your eyes listening to how distraught Sidney sounds. You squeeze his hand gently, offering him a silent 'thank you' for standing up to your brother.
“Nate, please. I love you, you’re my big brother and nothing will ever change that or come between us. Living with you this summer has been amazing but I want to go with Sidney. I need to be with him right now.”
Nate looks down at where your hand rests intertwined with Sidney’s. He sees the stubborn determination in your expression and the protective stance that Sidney had assumed next to you. He knew that he was entirely outnumbered and that if he continued the argument, the only thing he’d do succeed in doing would be pushing you away and that was the last thing he wanted.
“If she so much as winces because you weren’t paying attention to her, Crosby, I swear to God I will make sure you can’t play next season.” Nate mutters darkly, frowning over at his friend. He leans down, pressing a careful kiss to your uninjured cheek. “I’ll call you every single day after training and if you don’t answer, I’m sending the Mounties out after you, got it?”
“Got it.” You nod, small smile lifting at the corner of your mouth. “Love you, big brother.”
Nate brushes a hand over your hair before turning to walk out of the room, completely ignoring Sidney altogether.
You and Sidney listen to his footsteps echo down the corridor, the anxiety in the room finally lifting once you two are finally alone. Sidney lets out a long, slow breath through his nose, his shoulders visibly dropping at least three inches.
He pulls you up to your feet, pulling you into his chest. You fold into him easily, inhaling deeply so that the smell of his cologne surrounds you.
“You ready to get out of here, sweetheart?” He murmurs against your hair.
“Beyond.” You breathe softly, relief shuddering though you as Sidney takes your hand to walk you out of the hospital once and for all.
The drive to Sidney’s house was the slowest, most cautious twenty-minute drive of your entire life. He drove the massive SUV like he was navigating a minefield, taking every single turn at a snails pace, stopping for yellow lights, and wincing on your behalf every single time he accidentally hit a pothole.
When he finally pulled into the driveway of his lake house, you watched the relief wash over his features.
Once you were inside (after more fussing from him when he tried to convince you he needed to carry you inside, which you flat out refused), Sidney guided you towards the sun-drenched living room. The large sectional that dominated most of the space was a perfect place to start your recovery.
The second you’re settled, tucked into the corner of the couch with a blanket over your legs, Sidney starts to pace.
You watch from the couch as a restless, almost frantic energy takes over. He adjusts the curtains, dimming the late morning glare to keep the light from agitating your concussion. After he’s satisfied that you’re not going to get a headache from the light, he marches into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a giant Stanley cup filled to the top with ice water and sets it down on the table beside you.
“The nurse was telling me that hydration after injuries like yours is very important.” He says as he begins to unpack the prescription bottles that had been packed away in your duffle bag before you’d left the hospital. “Something about the water helps flush the medications through your system and helps with tissue swelling. You need to finish at least two of these before dinner.”
You watch him, your heart aching at the anxiety and tension radiating off of his body as he buzzed around the room. He simply couldn’t sit still. His hands were constantly fidgeting with something: straightening a coaster, fluffing a cushion, checking the medication sheet to ensure he hadn’t missed a dose of anything.
When he reached down to adjust the blanket that covered your lap for the fourth time in five minutes, you reach out, fingers catching the hem of his t-shirt.
“Sid.” You murmur, a gentle smile pulling at your lips. “Sidney, stop and look at me. Please?” \
He pauses, shoulders stiffening before he swings his gaze over to you. You could see him trying to keep that mask up for you, the one that says he was in charge and wasn’t seconds away from having a panic attack but you saw the cracks. You saw the cracks in the armor starting to show as exhaustion pulled at his features, the hollows beneath his eyes more prominent than you’d ever seen them.
“Come here. Just relax with me.” You tug at his shirt, trying to urge him to take a moment to breathe. “You can stop fussing, I’m not going to break if you sit still for five minutes.”
Sidney stares at your hand on his chest, his jaw clenching tightly. For a second, you think he’s going to make another excuse to keep busy but after a long moment, his posture drops. He lets out a long breath that sounded like he was exhaling for the first time in days.
Carefully, so he doesn’t jostle you, Sidney shifts his frame onto the couch beside you. He doesn’t lean back into the cushions though. Instead, he sits right at the edge of the seat, elbows resting on his knees, broad back hunched over as he stares blankly at the wood floors beneath his feet.
“I can’t.” Shaking his head, Sidney avoids looking at you.
You shift slightly, wincing when the movement pulls at your injured ribs, reaching out to lay a hand flat against his back. “Sidney…”
“Nate was right.” He interrupts, voice wobbling slightly when he finally turns his head to look at you. The raw vulnerability in his expression makes your chest go tight. “He nearly swung at me at the hospital and he was well within his right to. It’s my fault you were even on that road. If I hadn’t told you to drive my car to the rink, if I hadn’t forgotten about camp the next morning and stranded you at my house without your car, you wouldn’t have been anywhere near that highway. The truck wouldn’t have hit you. You wouldn’t be sitting here with stitches in your head and broken ribs.”
He drops his head into his hands, fingers dragging roughly through his hair. “Every time my brain goes quiet, I hear the crash over and over. I hear you screaming and the metal crumpling and all I can think about is that it’s all my fault.”
Reaching up, you frame the side of your face with your hand. “Don’t you dare do that to yourself. Look at me…” You pause, waiting for him to look you in the eyes. “It was an accident. That man got into his car at 7 in the morning on a Monday after he’d spent the entire night drinking. He ran the red light because he was too drunk to be driving. That’s not your fault. The car I was driving or why I was on that road doesn’t matter. You didn’t run that red light, Sid.”
“But if I had just -”
“Stop.” You cut him off, voice firm. “We’re not going to go down that road. You told me in the hospital that nothing else mattered beside the fact that I was alive. Well, it goes both ways. Just like it wasn’t my fault that the car got totaled, it’s not your fault that I got hurt. You didn’t do this to me.”
You lean forward, ignoring the pain in your ribs, to ghost your lips over his.
“You saved me.” You whisper against his jaw. “You stayed by my side the entire time I was in the hospital and you brought me to the one place where the all the noise in my head actually stops. You’re my safe space.”
Sidney stares at you, chest rising and falling frantically as he lets your words sink in.
“I mean it.” You say just loud enough to be heard, pressing your forehead against his. “Let it go. I need you here with me, not trapped in your own head living with your demons.”
Sidney lets loose a long, shuddering breath. The final dregs of tension seem to drain from his shoulders as he leans into your touch, unsure of how to handle your forgiveness when he was still living in hell. He shifts his weight, settling further into the couch for the first time all morning.
He pulls you into his lap, gentle enough so that he doesn’t jostle your ribs. You tuck your head underneath his chin, settling deep into his chest so you could hear the steady beating of his heart.
“Okay.” He finally replies before he brushes his lips against your hair. “I’m right here, I’ve got you.”
It takes Charlotte four days to convince Nate to set foot in Sidney’s house. True to his word, he had called you every day after training to check on you, make sure you were taking it easy and that you were recovering. The second he heard Sidney’s voice though, he’d clam up and make excuses to get off the phone as quickly as possible.
That evening, Charlotte had practically forced Nate into the car with threats of bodily harm to bring over a batch of your favorite soup. She was tired of dealing with her broody boyfriend and God help her, Charlotte was going to put Sidney and your brother in the same room to talk through their issues, even if it led to a fist fight.
Shortly after they’d walked through the door, Charlotte made an excuse to join you on the dock with a glass of wine as you watched the sunset, aiming pointed looks at both men who were left frowning in the kitchen. The silence that hung in the air after Charlotte closed the sliding glass door was thick and vibrating with tension.
Nate stands by the kitchen island, jacket still on, his arms crossed tightly over his chest as he glares out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the dock where Charlotte was sitting next to you with a glass of wine. He was wearing a look that Sidney knew well: Stubborn, unyielding, and totally closed off. It was a look Sidney recognized but was unfamiliar with the expression being aimed at him.
Sidney stood across the island from his friend. He wasn’t going to let Nate walk out of the house tonight without at least attempting to break the ice. He couldn’t. There was too much history between them to allow something like this to ruin their friendship.
“Nate.” Sidney says carefully, voice piercing the tense quiet.
Nate shakes his head, “We’re not doing this. I’m here for my sister, to make sure she’s okay. That’s it.
“We are doing this.” Sidney shoots back, tone sharp enough to catch Nate’s attention. Sidney walks around the counter, bridging the distance until he was standing just a few feet away. “You’ve hung up on me every time I’ve tried to call you for four days You won’t look at me. If you’re going to hit me, then just hit me. Throw the punch right now, get it over with but you’re going to listen to what I have to say whether you like it or not.”
Nate whips his head around to stare at Sidney, eyes molten with rage. “You want to know why I’m furious? You looked me in the eye all summer and pretended that everything was normal! We spent hours training together on and off the ice, we drank beers on my porch, talked about everything! And the entire time, you were sneaking around behind my back with my little sister, my only sister for what? A quick hookup with a younger girl to make you feel like you still have it at your age?”
Sidney takes a steadying breath, quietly pushing down the urge to hit your brother. “You’ve known me for damn near two decades. Do you really think so poorly of me that you actually believe that I had anything but the best of intentions the entire time? You can’t control who you fall in love with. Cut me some slack, bro. I’m not some dumbass rookie looking to get laid. That’s not me, that’s never been me and you fucking know it, MacKinnon.”
“Then why’d you spend the entire summer sneaking around behind my back?”
“We weren’t sneaking around!” Sidney practically shouts, his arms spread wide as he stares at his friend. Shaking his head, he steps closer to Nate. “I swear to God, Nate. We didn’t cross a single line until that final weekend. I tried avoiding it all summer because she’s your sister and you’re my best friend. I was scared of this exact thing happening, I was terrified of losing you as a friend.”
Nate lets out a harsh laugh, turning fully to face Sidney for the first time that evening. “So you just hid it? Thought it would disappear if you pretended it didn’t exist?”
“No. That’s not it at all. The more I got to know her, the more I realized it wasn’t just going to disappear. I fell in love with her, Nate. Completely and totally in love with her. I’ve never felt like this about anyone my entire life, you should know me well enough to know how big that is for me.”
Nate freezes, the anger in his face faltering slightly at the heavy weight of Sidney’s admission.
“When I heart that crash over the phone…” Sidney’s voice falters, wobbling at the end as the memory cuts violently across his memory. “When she screamed and the line went silent, my entire world ended. I realized right then that if she didn’t make it, nothing else mattered.” He drags his eyes up to meet Nate’s gaze. “I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m so sorry I broke your trust but I am not going to apologize for falling in love with her.”
The kitchen falls into a heavy silence.
Nate stares at his best friend, seeing the raw exhaustion and fear etched into Sidney’s face, the slight tremble in his shoulders, the devotion radiating off of him when he talks about what you mean to him. This was the guy that had stood by him through every injury, every trade rumor, every high and low in of both of their careers.
Slowly, the white-hot fury in Nate’s chest begins to fade, draining away to leave nothing but a tired, heavy feeling that makes him feel decades older than he really is. He rubs a hand over his face, letting out a long sigh.
“You’re an idiot.” He mutters. Stepping back, Nate leans a hip against the island. “A total and complete idiot.”
Sidney blinks, swallowing hard as he looks up. “Nate -”
“If you had just told me about this back in July, I would have bitched about it for a week, called you a dirty old man, and then we would’ve moved on.” Nate cuts him off, a faint and reluctant smile lifting at the corner of his mouth for a split second. “I’m still beyond pissed that you kept this from me, even if nothing happened until that last weekend. You should have come to me first, but I can understand why you didn’t. This doesn’t mean we’re good but…I guess I don’t want to kill you anymore.”
“I know.” Sidney nods quickly, a relieved smile breaking across his face. “I should have done a lot of things differently before that weekend.”
Nate looks out on the deck where Charlotte and you sit, heads bent over a glass of wine. His expression softens. “She’s everything to me, Sid. She’s my baby sister and one of my best friends. If you harm even one hair on her head, I’ll kill you.”
“I’d rather die before I watch her hurt ever again.” Sidney extends his hand across the short distance between them. “I swear I’ll take care of her.”
Nate stares at Sidney’s outstretched hand for a long moment. Then, with a gruff shake of his head, he reaches out, gripping Sid’s hand with a firm grip.
“You’d fucking better.” Nate mutters.
Eight Weeks Later
The living room was filled with the glow of an early September sunset, bursts of red, orange, and pink flickered across the carpet drenching the room in a low golden light that made everything shimmer. The summer bubble was officially popping in less than 24 hours. Tomorrow morning, you and Sidney would get on a plane back to Pittsburgh, leaving the secluded sanctuary that had been your refuge for the last eight weeks.
Standing in front of the large bay window that looked out on the lake, you let out a soft sigh. Your ribs were completely healed, your breathing was finally pain free, and the faint scar left behind from the stitches on your forehead was just a faint silver line that you could barely see now.
Physically, you were completely healed but your chest ached with a brand-new kind of anxiety. The thought of leaving Sidney’s house, the isolated paradise where the rest of the world didn’t exist and it was just the two of you playing house was overwhelming to an alarming degree.
You knew you had to get back to real life but at the same time, you didn’t want this summer to end.
Sidney walks out of the main bedroom, pulling a team hoodie over his head. The second he sees you starting out the window, his posture softens. Crossing the room, his movements relaxed and unhurried, he wraps his arms around you from behind. Pulling you flush against his chest, he's rests his chin heavily on your shoulder. He smelled like cedar and your shared laundry soap, a comforting anchor that stopped your head spinning instantly.
“I hate this part.” Sidney murmurs, lips pressed against the crook of your neck. His hands slide down to the hem of your shirt before the slip underneath, laying flat against your stomach. “I feel like we’re leaving the best part of the year behind.”
“Me too.” You whisper, turning around in his arms so you could wrap your arms loosely around his neck. “But we have to grow up eventually. Training camp starts next week.”
“Don’t remind me.” He groans playfully, a lopsided smile hitching at the corner of his mouth. “Are you sure you’ve got everything sorted? The moving company knows where to take your stuff? It’s not too late to have them just drop everything off at my place, you know. If you’re nervous about being alone in a new city and everything.”
You smile softly, your heart squeezing happily at the protectiveness in his voice.
Once your concussion symptoms had disappeared enough for you to start looking at screens regularly, you’d started planning. A few weeks ago, you had signed a lease on a gorgeous studio loft in downtown Pittsburgh. You’d done that after landing contracts with the NFL and NHL to cover east coast games as a freelancing photographer.
Everything was moving towards a new beginning and you couldn’t have been more excited.
“Baby, we talked about this.” You tease gently, running your fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck. “I love you for wanting to protect me, but I need to stand on my own two feet for a while. Moving in together for the long run is a big step. I need to know I can build my own career there, independent of being Sidney Crosby’s girlfriend.”
Sidney stares down at you, jaw clenching slightly in that stubborn way he always did when he knew you were right and he was wrong. Letting out a defeated sigh, Sidney leans down to press a kiss to your forehead.
“I know.” He admits reluctantly. “You’re right. Your portfolio is unbelievable and you’re going to crush it. I just…” He trails off, a devastatingly handsome if not slightly possessive smirk winks at the corner of his mouth. “I’m selfish, okay? I want you all to myself. I got used to waking up next to you and having you in my bed every single night.”
“Oh, please.” You laugh, pushing up on your tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “We’re going to be living in the same city, Crosby. You’re going to be a fifteen minute drive away. You’ll be sick of me by December.”
Sidney looks down at you with a fierce seriousness that made the breath catch in the back of your throat. Leaning down, he brushes his lips against yours, the kiss tasting like the quiet promises you’d made to each other while lying in bed late at night over the last two months. He kisses you deeply, slow and unhurried, a thorough reassurance that steals the air form your lungs and made your toes curl in your tennis shoes. When he finally pulls back, his hands frame your face, his thumb swiping a trail over your cheek.
“That would never happen.” He murmurs against your lips. “Not in this lifetime, sweetheart.”
You smile against his mouth before burying your face in the crook of his neck as his arms tighten around you. The summer may have been officially over, the chaos of the hockey season knocking at your door but as you stood together in that fading golden light, you knew the bubble hadn’t actually popped after all.
It was just expanding.
yn_snaps posted!
12,390 likes
liked by sc.eightseven, charlotte_walker, pittsburghpenguins, and others
yn_snaps cheers to new beginnings
user99 I KNEW IT I KNEW IT her and sid are together
>>>user001 oh i KNOW nathan was conflicted about this lolol
charlotte_walker i miss you already :(
>>>yn_snaps i know bby but i'm tagging along on the road trip at the end of the month out to denver!!
>>>charlotte_walker YESSSSSSS
user122 she's moved to pittsburgh for him ALREADY yikes
>>>user005 oh relax. they've known each other for years.
nathanmackinnon sid better take good care of you or i'll fly out there myself and kick his ass
>>>yn_snaps chillllllll bruh
mackcelebrinin idk why everyone is shocked by this...we knew you two were together the entire summer
>>>yn_snaps wait. what.
>>>_willsmith2 yeah, you guys aren't as slick as you thought
>>>yn_snaps i hate you both
>>>samdickinson HA she doesn't hate me
>>>yn_snaps shut up DICKIE
>>>mackcelebrini HAHAHAHA
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SUMMARY ▸ your weekly trips to your favorite bookstore in boston are routine: browse the shelves, buy another book you don't need, and grab a coffee. they also, apparently, include arguing with a stranger through sticky notes hidden between the pages, who turns out to be professional hockey player fraser minten.
WORD COUNT ▸ 3.4k words
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ happy birthday fraser!!! 22!!! i hope he's having the best day ever :) sorry for my absence but i've been busy at my j*b (trigger word sorry) and with life but i am working on a super long fake dating will fic that hopefully i'll finish soon (also where is he)? thank u all for your continued support 200 followers omg!! i just wanted to whip up something short and cute for the bday boy :')
for you, bookstores were supposed to be safe.
quiet. predictable. comfortable.
on weekends away from work, while half of boston seemed determined to spend forty minutes waiting for brunch or squeezing into bars that were somehow already crowded by noon, you could usually be found tucked inside your favorite bookstore in beacon hill.
the place had uneven wooden floors and overstuffed chairs that had definitely seen better days, but over the years, it had become something of a second home.
unless you counted the occasional passive-aggressive standoff over the last copy of a popular new release.
and that was exactly how you liked it.
until the notes appeared.
the first one fell out of a romance novel while you were standing in the fiction aisle.
you were mid-deciphering whether to justify spending another eighteen dollars on a book your friend had been aggressively recommending for months, when you almost missed it.
if not for the color.
a bright yellow sticky note fluttered onto the floor from a nearby book, and landed near your feet.
frowning, you bent down and picked it up.
written across the front in messy, masculine handwriting were three words.
this ending sucked. -f
you stared at it, then at the book, then back at the note.
and in the moment, with that book, you found yourself wholeheartedly agreeing.
the ending had sucked: not because it was sad, and not because the couple didn't end up together.
but because you thought the author had spent three hundred pages building tension only to resolve every single conflict in approximately four paragraphs.
it was lazy.
literary criminal, in your opinion.
looking up from the note, you glanced around the aisle surreptitiously.
all you saw was a middle aged woman browsing fantasy novels, a young man reading in one of the armchairs near the window, and an employee shelving books.
the sticky note culprit was nowhere to be found.
for a moment, you considered throwing the note away, to be forgotten forever, just a momentary blip in the matrix that was your life.
but then you looked at it again.
this ending sucked. -f
such confidence, such conviction, such correctness.
it was almost endearing how someone could feel so strongly about a book that they would leave a note for someone to see. like an angry yelp review in real life.
a smile tugged at the corner of your mouth.
shaking your head, you slid the sticky note back between the pages where you'd found it and continued browsing.
by the time you left the store (a whole eighteen dollars poorer), you'd completely forgotten about it.
or at least, you thought you had.
until two weeks later, when another note appeared.
different book, different shelf, but same yellow note and distinct angry masculine scrawl peeking out from the white pages.
main character deserves jail. -f
you snorted so loudly an elderly woman browsing nearby shot you a look.
"sorry," you whispered, smiling meekly.
the woman continued staring. you turned away. harsh.
but not before slipping the note into your tote bag.
for reasons you couldn't really explain.
and after that, you started finding the yellow notes weekly.
inside boring thrillers.
inside literary fiction.
inside biographies.
in all genres, time periods, book lengths. always bright yellow, always so aggressively opinionated.
2/10. - f
overrated. - f
he spent 400 pages being emotionally unavailable for this? - f
the plot twist was visible from space. - f
whoever this person was, he had absolutely no respect for subtlety.
or enjoyment.
or, apparently, books that most people read.
but eventually you started looking for the notes.
which was ridiculous. you knew that.
you were essentially allowing a complete stranger to influence your saturday bookstore routine.
yet every saturday, after grabbing your coffee and making your usual lap through the store, you found yourself scanning shelves for flashes of bright yellow.
wondering if sticky note guy had visited recently, wondering what he'd read.
sometimes you'd discover three or four notes in one visit. sometimes none at all.
those weekends were strangely disappointing.
which was absurd.
because you didn't know this person.
had never seen this person.
and, for all you knew, he could be completely unbearable. an angry, bostonian man whose one plan was to change the literary future of certain readers based off of what he thought was right.
still.
whenever you found a fresh note, your mouth always twitched into a smile before you could stop it.
like you'd stumbled across a message left specifically for you.
even though you knew you hadn't.
or at least, not yet.
then one afternoon, while randomly browsing a book you'd already read, a yellow note slipped into your hand.
masterpiece, no notes. -f
you stared at it. read it again.
and immediately felt annoyance crawl up your spine.
because no. absolutely not.
you thought the third act alone contained at least twelve notes.
you glanced around the aisle. no sign of the mystery reviewer.
then, before you could talk yourself out of it, you dug through your purse. you always carried sticky notes.
pink ones.
quickly, you pulled out a pen and scribbled:
plenty of notes actually: i.e. third act pacing disaster. - y/f/i
before tucking it into the book. it was petty and immature, but in your opinion, completely necessary.
you left the store feeling strangely satisfied, and promptly forgot about it.
until the following weekend.
when you walked by the same book and saw a yellow note sticking out for you.
you're insane. -f
you glanced around the aisle again, still no sign of him. of course there wasn't.
whoever sticky note man was, he apparently possessed an uncanny ability to vanish the moment you looked for him.
you looked back down at the note, but despite yourself, you smiled.
then you reached into your tote bag: pink sticky note, pen.
you decided to keep it cute with three words.
thank you. - y/f/i
you tucked it beneath his note, slid the book back onto the shelf, and walked away before you could overthink it.
it wasn't until the following saturday that you found his reply in that aggressively yellow square of paper.
third act pacing was excellent. - f
you rolled your eyes so hard they nearly lodged themselves in the back of your head.
immediately, you fired back.
were we reading the same book? - y/f/i
the response came a week later.
yes. but apparently only one of us understood it. - f
wow. the absolute audacity.
for one brief, deeply immature moment, you considered throwing the entire novel across the bookstore. instead, you calmly placed it back on the shelf.
then muttered, "unbelievable."
an employee shelving books nearby glanced over. you smiled innocently.
nothing to see here.
after that...things escalated.
rapidly.
what had started as the occasional anonymous opinion somehow transformed into a full-fledged literary rivalry.
you stopped wandering aimlessly through the bookstore. you came a few times a week instead of your beloved saturday trip.
you developed a system: coffee first. then you scanned fiction. new releases. historical fiction, then romance.
always keeping an eye out for flashes of bright yellow. you ignored how the workers definitely thought you were psychotic.
sometimes he found the books first. sometimes you did.
either way, someone always had something to say.
one week, tucked inside a mystery novel, you found:
protagonist was justified. - f
you nearly laughed. your response appeared beneath it before you'd even finished browsing the aisle.
in committing a felony??? - y/f/i
the next saturday:
it wasn't that serious. - f
it was first-degree murder. - y/f/i
semantics. - f
a few days later.
enemies to lovers is overrated. - f
blocked. - y/f/i
dramatic. - f
correct!! - y/f/i
another.
this book made me cry. - f
that's because you're weak. - y/f/i
that's because i have real feelings. - f
you found yourself laughing more in bookstores than you ever had before.
occasionally, you'd catch yourself reaching for a book you had absolutely no interest in reading simply because you wondered if he'd left a note inside.
you still had absolutely no idea who he was. just a hand and strong opinion you could recognize instantly. an opinion you'd become strangely invested in arguing with.
and a growing collection of bright yellow and pink sticky notes that neither of you seemed willing to stop leaving.
but at some point, the curiosity became impossible to ignore.
you started wondering about him.
not in a weird way.
...okay, maybe a little in a weird way.
you wondered how old he was, whether he maybe was a student procrastinating on assignments.
or an english professor determined to humble bestselling authors one sticky note at a time.
maybe he was one of the businessmen you always saw ordering coffee from the café before disappearing upstairs.
maybe he was the retired man who spent every tuesday morning reading by the window.
for all you knew, sticky note guy could've been seventy-two years old with an exceptional hatred for poorly paced third acts.
you had absolutely nothing to go off besides one initial and increasingly recognizable handwriting.
which somehow made the mystery worse.
sometimes you'd think you'd spotted him.
a young guy lingering in fiction. someone slipping a book back onto a shelf. someone carrying a stack of sticky notes. but every theory fell apart as quickly as it formed.
he remained frustratingly anonymous.
and somehow that almost made it more fun.
because without faces or names, the only thing that mattered were the words.
as weeks passed, those words started changing. they weren't always just arguments anymore.
one week you left a recommendation tucked inside a novel you'd loved.
two days later you saw be another sticky note waiting, his own recommendation.
read it. you'll probably hate it. -f
which somehow only made you want to read it more.
eventually, the notes stopped being entirely about books. little pieces of yourselves began slipping through the cracks.
never intentionally. just accidentally.
you learned that he apparently worked ridiculous hours, at a job where he was sometimes away for weeks on end.
one note apologized for taking two weeks to respond, before diving into a scalding review.
sorry, i was travelling for work. read this on the plane and wished i could jump off - f
another appeared tucked inside a poetry collection.
if i drink one more coffee this week, i think my heart might explode. - f
you responded immediately.
maybe stop after...five? -y/f/i
his answer came later.
i had six that day.. - f
seek help. - y/f/i
you also learned he had wildly inconsistent taste.
he adored literary fiction. had an alarming obsession with sports biographies.
and, for reasons you never understood, willingly read books he knew he'd hate just so he could complain about them to you afterward.
he, meanwhile, learned things about you too.
that you refused to finish books you weren't enjoying. which he called "quitter behavior."
that you annotated your favorite novels. which he claimed was "vandalism."
that you cried during dog movies. which he'd discovered after recommending one completely by accident.
old yeller??? why would you do this to me? - y/f/i
i thought it'd be wholesome. - f
you're paying for my therapy. - y/f/i
and somehow he figured out you owned an unreasonable number of tote bags. you still weren't entirely sure how.
until one afternoon you found:
either you have thirty-seven tote bags or i've accidentally been arguing with multiple women. - f
you stared at the note for a full minute before laughing and writing back.
do you know it's rude to ask a woman that. - y/f/i
his response the next week was immediate.
so it is thirty-seven. - f
you never corrected him.
neither of you ever asked for names. or phone numbers.
there was something strangely perfect about knowing each other only through ink and sticky notes.
it felt old-fashioned. like exchanging letters with someone you'd never met, a pen pal through the books.
you always had a few days to think of your response.
a few days to wonder if he'd answer.
and a few days to look forward to seeing his handwriting again.
somehow, neither of you seemed in any hurry to change that. maybe it would've stayed that way forever, only known by your first initials and differing opinions.
another argument.
another recommendation.
another week spent wondering if he'd replied.
until the bookstore changed everything.
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every spring, the store hosted a handful of small book club discussions with authors.
nothing too formal, just coffee and pastries. and far too many people convinced literary-wise the color blue symbolized the downfall of modern society.
normally, you skipped them.
you loved reading, but you did not necessarily love discussing books deeply with strangers.
apparently, sticky note man felt the same.
because in six months of anonymous correspondence, neither of you had ever once mentioned attending one.
but one day, then the bookstore announced a discussion with one of your favorite authors.
and well, you couldn't exactly miss that.
so, on a rainy saturday morning, you arrived twenty minutes early. coffee in hand, tote bag over your shoulder.
fully prepared to silently judge everyone else's opinions.
the discussion wasn't scheduled to start for another fifteen minutes, and only a handful of people had arrived.
an employee arranged chairs into an area near the front. someone browsed the staff recommendations.
and across the room, tucked into a chair beside the windows, sat a guy reading.
cute, you noticed.
very cute: glasses. bruins cap pulled low, but you could see curls peeking out from the bottom.
one foot tucked underneath him, completely absorbed in whatever book rested in his hands.
you looked for maybe three seconds, shamelessly checking him out.
then forced yourself to look away. not your business. not why you were here.
you took another sip of coffee, and set your tote bag on the chair beside you. and that's when you noticed them, and took a double take.
bright yellow.
your eyes caught the color before your brain processed what you were seeing.
sticky notes.
everywhere: sticking out between the pages of his book. tucked inside a notebook resting beside his coffee. a small stack sitting neatly on the table.
your stomach dropped and you couldn't tell if it was in fear, joy, or excitement. or a strange mix of all three.
it couldn't be.
absolutely not…right?
you stared. the handwriting.
even from a few feet away, you knew it like the back of your hand. you would've recognized that aggressively slanted handwriting anywhere.
there was absolutely no way.
and almost as if he felt you staring, the guy looked up. his eyes drifted across the room, and landed on you.
then automatically dropped to the bright pink sticky notes poking out of one of your many tote bags.
the exact hot shade he'd apparently been arguing with for the better part of six months.
his expression shifted instantly and you saw multiple emotions pass through his face. confusion. recognition. complete disbelief.
he looked back at your face, then your tote bag. then your face again.
neither of you moved.
behind the register, one of the bookstore employees sitting followed your line of sight and immediately let her forehead fall against the counter with a dull thunk.
"finally," she muttered.
silence. an embarrassingly long silence of you two staring at each other, frozen in what could only be…fear? you were too shocked to find out what it was exactly.
finally, you lifted a finger and pointed across the room. "you."
his finger slowly came up too. "you!"
you stomped over to his table. "you wrote 'main character deserves jail.'"
he stood, and you noticed how he towered over you. "you wrote 'learn media literacy.'"
"you deserved that."
he scoffed. "it was rude."
"it was correct."
"it hurt my feelings."
you couldn't help but smile a little. "and somehow you survived."
somewhere behind the counter, the employee made a strangled noise like she was physically fighting for her life not to laugh.
you barely noticed, because this wasn't what you'd imagined. not even close.
sticky note guy wasn't seventy-two. he wasn't an english professor. he wasn't some grumpy businessman hiding from the world.
he was annoyingly attractive, seemingly your age, and unfortunately, just your type. which somehow felt deeply unfair.
he looked equally thrown, like he'd also spent months inventing a completely different person.
"you..." he started slowly, like he didn't know where to start. his eyes flicked toward your tote bag.
"you own the thirty-seven tote bags."
your jaw dropped. "it's thirty-two."
"so i was close."
"i cannot believe that's what you took away from this."
he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly realizing this wasn't the smooth introduction he'd probably hoped for.
because after six months of anonymous arguments, he'd apparently prepared rebuttals. not conversation.
finally, he sighed. "you're the reason i read three hundred pages of a book i absolutely hated."
you blinked. "...what?"
"you said it got better."
you made a face. "it did!"
"it absolutely did not."
"it won three literary awards."
he smiled. "people make mistakes."
the employee behind the counter gave up entirely, disappearing into the back room laughing. and somehow, that broke the tension.
you laughed first. he smiled again, then laughed too.
and suddenly it wasn't awkward anymore. because this wasn't really a stranger, not entirely. this was the person who'd spent six months ruining your saturdays.
the person whose handwriting you could recognize before you recognized his face.
the person whose opinions were consistently terrible.
and, rather unfortunately, he was cute.
very, very cute.
he rubbed the back of his neck.
"so..."
you tilted your head.
"i guess we should probably graduate from initials."
you smiled. "hmm…i don't know."
his eyebrows lifted in surprise.
"i've gotten pretty attached to the whole first initial thing."
he laughed. "oh have you?"
you smirked. "it's mysterious. very james bond. sexy, even."
"oh yeah?"
"very."
he nodded thoughtfully. "i was kind of fond of it too."
"see? we already had a system."
"guess we ruined it."
"shame."
then he held out his hand. "fraser."
it was strange.
after six months of wondering, theorizing, and building an entire person around one messy initial, he was just...fraser.
you liked that.
you slipped your hand into his, not expecting the handshake. "y/n."
"nice to officially meet you."
"right. officially."
he smiled. "feels weird."
"it does."
"i kind of feel like i already know you."
you laughed softly. "that's because you kinda do."
that was the strangest part, there wasn't any awkward small talk. no searching for something to say.
he already knew you abandoned books halfway through if they bored you.
that you cried over fictional dogs.
that you annotated your favorite novels.
that you owned an alarming number of tote bags.
and you already knew he survived almost entirely on coffee.
that he had questionable literary opinions.
that he'd willingly finish books he hated just so he could complain about them afterward.
you'd somehow skipped straight past strangers, all the awkward small talk people usually stumbled through when they first met.
meeting fraser, unfortunately, changed almost nothing. which was probably the most confusing part.
you didn't suddenly start flirting.
he certainly didn't.
if anything, you argued more.
the only difference was that now, instead of leaving passive-aggressive sticky notes inside books, you were given the blessing to deliver your terrible opinions directly to his face.
you both now coordinated your trips to the bookstore, which unfortunately for those around you, ended in some sort of bickering round between you two in between the bookshelf aisles.
"you're wrong."
fraser didn't even look up from the book he'd been flipping through next to you. "no..i'm not."
"you are."
"prove it."
you snatched the novel out of his hands.
he looked down at you immediately. "hey."
without another word, you flipped to page two hundred and fourteen, and held it open in front of him.
and pointed dramatically. "exhibit a."
he read the page.
paused.
"okay."
you smiled victoriously.
"...exhibit a is weak."
your smile disappeared and you walked away. "i'm leaving."
"you've been saying that for twenty minutes."
"but this time i seriously mean it."
you did not leave.
mostly because fraser followed you into the next aisle.
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
after that, recommendations became a competition.
not because either of you trusted the other's taste. far from it. you simply needed evidence.
"you're telling me this is your favorite book?"
he waved it in your face. "top five."
"i can't wait to hate it."
"i'll be expecting a formal apology once you actually read it."
"don't hold your breath."
three days later, you marched into the bookstore holding the novel in one hand. fraser looked up from where he'd been pretending to read in his unassigned assigned seat. "well?"
you slumped on the couch next to him, ignoring the heat where your thighs touched."chapter nineteen."
"what about it?"
you groaned, accepting defeat. "you were right."
his grin was immediate. "say it again so i can record it?"
"don't push your luck."
as for the sticky notes, they never disappeared.
they just evolved. they became longer, reviews scratched on notebook paper made for later discussion.
less "you're objectively wrong."
more: page 142. explain yourself.
eventually they weren't even attached to books anymore. sometimes you'd find one waiting underneath your coffee cup.
ordered your usual.
don't say i never do anything for you. -f
or tucked inside the tote bag you'd carelessly left beside him.
you're five minutes late. i'm counting this as a win. -f
you'd roll your eyes. then write back anyway.
eventually, the notes became plans.
boston common, saturday, two? -f
you responded underneath.
why? - y/f/i
his answer appeared later that afternoon.
because i finished the book.
and? - y/f/i
i need to explain why you're wrong. -f
impossible. - y/f/i
exactly. -f
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
somehow, those saturday afternoons with plans turned into entire days.
one bookstore became three. three became five.
you wandered through beacon hill. crossed into cambridge because fraser insisted there was "a better used bookstore."
there wasn't.
you made him admit that, eventually.
hours disappeared without either of you noticing.
sometimes you'd end up sitting shoulder to shoulder, cross-legged on the floor between shelves, surrounded by stacks of books neither of you intended to buy.
debating fictional characters with the seriousness of constitutional lawyers.
an employee would eventually walk by.
"we're closing in five."
you'd both say at the same time. "we're almost done."
you were never almost done.
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
one afternoon, fraser showed up carrying two identical paper bags.
you frowned. "why did you buy two copies?"
he shrugged like it was obvious. "because if we only have one copy, i have to wait for you to finish."
he held one out. "this way we can annotate at the same time. and compare after."
you blinked. "that's actually kind of smart."
he smiled. "i know."
eventually, the bookstore and the notes weren't enough.
phone numbers were exchanged. not because either of you had planned to.
because you'd accidentally wandered into opposite sides of the store and spent fifteen minutes trying to find each other.
"this is ridiculous," you muttered.
"probably."
he put out a hand towards you. "give me your phone."
you smiled. "fraser, are we finally becoming technologically advanced?"
he bumped your shoulder. "don't ruin the moment."
before long, the messages between you two never really stopped. it was like one ongoing conversation between you two.
pictures of books, voice notes complaining about endings, links to interviews with authors.
photos of coffees captioned:
this one's your fault.
he'd text you after practice, you'd text him during lunch at work. you'd call each other when he was away for a game. sometimes neither of you had anything important to say.
you just said it anyway.
neither of you could remember who'd started inviting the other anymore. it just happened.
"practice today?"
"yeah."
"coffee after?"
"obviously."
or
"i'm at the bookstore."
"which one?"
"guess."
"be there in ten."
your weekends became fraser. your lunch breaks became fraser. every time you finished a book, the first thought was i need to tell fraser.
the bookstore employees stopped saying "welcome in" when you entered. they just asked, "where's fraser today?"
one saturday, you wandered into the bookstore a little later than usual.
before you could even look around, the cashier smiled. "he's upstairs."
heat crept up your neck. you mumbled a quiet thanks before making your way upstairs.
and there he was, all 6'2 of him cross-legged on the floor in the fiction section. he barely looked up as your footsteps approached.
"you're late."
you glanced at your watch. "by three minutes."
"i noticed."
you rolled your eyes, dropping onto the floor beside him. "so dramatic."
"always."
he slid a book into your lap. "read this."
you looked down at the cover. "am i going to hate it?"
he smiled. "probably."
"good."
you opened to the first page, a bright yellow sticky note waited for you.
don't skip ahead this time. -f
you laughed, and without thinking, you reached into your tote bag for your stack of bright pink sticky notes.
you pulled one free, wrote your reply, and tucked it between the pages before handing the book back.
he glanced down and smiled.
no promises. -y/f/i
he looked up at you. "why are you the way you are?"
you smiled sweetly. "and yet..."
you stood, grabbing your coffee. "you keep buying me books."
he laughed, shaking his head and laughing loudly as he followed you deeper into the shelves.
and as it turns out, bookstores were still safe.
they just weren't particularly quiet anymore.
AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ i hope you guys enjoyed and are having a good summer!! you can find my masterlist here <3
gabe perreault is like a friend i worry about and ryan leonard is like an ex-boyfriend that kinda sucks and will smith is like a purebred dog that shakes
summary: losing a game feels a little better when fraser is there to invite you over for movie night
cw: hughes family, reader plays for BU, toxic thoughts? inferiority complex on reader's side
wc: 780
You couldn’t get a win to save your life.
You stumbled into your apartment building - the BU Women’s Hockey shirt feeling too tight on your skin - replaying the events of the night.
A sloppy pass
A missed connection
A missed net during shootout
Needing some more time to yourself before getting ready for bed, you decided to climb up the stairs to the second floor of the building. Lugging your hockey bag over your shoulder, you take a moment to check your messages.
mom
You had a clear shot and you missed the net? Call me when you can, love you sweetie.
Right. You forgot Ellen Hughes doesn’t raise losers. She raised three boys that grew up to be excellent, olympic level hockey players. The pressure always felt harder on you than your brothers, given that your mom was the most excellent boy mom, she gave your older brothers leeway when it wasn’t deserved. Encouragement when they were developing their skills.
You have to fight for it
You need to be tougher
Watch your balance, Y/N
Ellen’s voice was basically screaming in your head as you hit your floor of the apartment building, and you had ignored three of Luke's “emergency check-in” calls.
When you turned the corner, you noticed a familiar face (and build) walking a couple yards down the hall, facing you.
Fraser
His apartment was right down the hall from yours. When he got word that he was traded to Boston, Jack and Luke reached out to you to ask about openings in your apartment building. Having a familiar face and a place to live made the transition easier for Fraser, but still, you two didn’t see each other very often. His schedule with the Bruins and your schoolwork and collegiate hockey career kept the both of you pretty busy. The two of you texted often, but seeing him in person was a rarity.
You both had the same sunken looks on your faces, a mutual understanding flowing through the two of you. He was the first one to break the silence.
“Rough game?”
“Yeah, you?” you responded
“Yup.”
The conversation was short lived. You both went into your respective apartments, trying to cope with the losses of the night.
After about five minutes, your phone buzzed.
fras
Movie tn? I’ve been needing an excuse to watch Sweet Home Alabama again, and I think tonight’s loss is enough of an excuse.
You
i’ll bring ice cream
There was something about Fraser that was soothing. He understood how important hockey was to you and while he never asked, he could always tell that you were under a different type of pressure than your brothers. So now, you two are sitting on his couch eating a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream, giggling over the southern banter in the movie on the TV.
“Have you talked to your mom today? And scoot closer, you’re hogging the ice cream.” He asks, giggling as he throws his arm around your shoulder, pulling you so your back is flush against his side.
“No, I’ll call her back tomorrow. I really don’t need a lecture from her right now.” You responded flatly, trying to ignore the heat rising on your cheeks.
“That’s okay. I watched your game during intermissions, you’re an amazing player. You may not believe it right now, but it’s the truth.” His eyes never leave the TV as he speaks.
The praise almost brings a tear to your eye. Most of the feedback on your playing style is technical critiques from your mother and beer league men on twitter saying you’ll never play like your brothers. You turn to look at Fraser, your head basically laying on his shoulder.
You choose not to respond, not really knowing what to say. Instead, you place a light kiss on his cheek.
As the movie continues, you feel yourself drifting off as the exhaustion from the night finally hits you. Subconsciously, you begin to draw closer to Fraser, throwing an arm around his waist and burying your face in the crook of his neck.
Fraser is more than grateful for the dim lighting in the living room, because he can feel how red his face is. He refuses to move once the movie finishes, and instead he takes the blanket that's laying on the back of the couch and throws it over the both of you.
Suddenly, the ache of the game’s loss is gone and all Fraser thinks about before going to sleep is how he plans on asking you out on a date. Not a movie night with ice cream on the couch, but a real and official date.