The Anomalies: Corebound

In which no one gets the happy ending they deserve, and everyone suffers.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Meenah: Reflect on why you're trying to survive. Seriously, bottom of the ocean sucks. > Meenah: figure out why you're alive, AT ALL.

Don't remind yourself. You absolutely HATE it here. Might've been cool for the first two weeks, but at this point, it's a bore. You're kept busy enough, but sometimes you wonder how much of your duties are more given out of pity than necessity. Eurgh.

You suppose that you're trying to survive because there's really no point in giving up just yet. Things are going to get better, and your MOTHER can't keep you down here forever.

Wow that got way too deep. Moving on.

> Meenah: Gripe about your scars. Who's the fucker that did this to you?? > Wonder why/how you got your scars.

Hmmm.

Yeah. Definitely not going to think about that. The last thing your RUINED EYE saw is not a happy memory.

You're still annoyed your mother won't let FEFERI heal you properly and patch up the scars. But it's part of your grounding to be a real eyesore for a bit, you guess. That's what you get for DOUBTING A CLOWN.

After the incident, your mother came to the conclusion that you are too reckless to be out there all the time, on the field, actually being USEFUL. But instead of putting you in the MAIN BASE, or even the HYSTERICI-INFESTED SECRET-Y BASE, you're under the CORE.

So your skin is green as fuck and it sucks like hell.

> troll sollux. wtf is he up to. > Troll Sollux, because best technician needs to be given some more goddamn screen time.

The Captors have always been a weird fucking bunch, in your opinion. Not just because most of them are now Pacifists and they all have "wweird brain stuff" going on. But there's no denying that Sollux challenges Jade and the middle Strider when it comes to techy skills. Haxxor supreme, and he doesn't let anyone forget.

You do have some stuff you can ask him about, actually. Better ring up that bipolar flat ass.

-- carboniferousChaos [CC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] -- CC: aight mollusk lets get shit done CC: gimme the deets or get skewered TA: diid you ju2t call me mollu2k? CC: yeah CC: so what TA: that2 probably the dumbe2t thiing iive ever heard anyone 2piit out of theiir 2alt-rotten wiindpiipe. TA: iit2 even wor2e than meuliin2 pun2, and that2 2ayiing 2omethiing. CC: fuckin meulins puns aint even that great CC: she just sorta cycles through a few bullshit ones CC: uncreraytive as shell TA: and yet you 2hove them iin anywhere you can, even when the 2pace2 are tiighter than a vanta2'2 gyratiing a22hole. TA: yeah 2ure you're 2O much better than meuliin ii2. you're at a whole other level of douchea22ery punjabber. CC: wow and i thought strider jr was insufferable CC: glubbin fuck buoy clam down CC: flippin shit off the deck is my job not yours TA: 2orry for not puttiing up wiith your bull2hiit ii gue22. CC: youre forgiven CC: and i aint carin if it was fuckin fakeass apology or not CC: i actunally got work for you CC: geek TA: liike ii needed anythiing el2e on my plate. TA: a plate that ii2 ju2t about two completely 2piill over and dump iit2 maggoty content2 on all your a22e2 iif ii get much more. CC: ew CC: whale this is just a lil thing ok TA: eheheh that'2 really unliikely. but ok. TA: what ii2 iit now? CC: so tulez just messaged me CC: mostly just checkin in but shes busy af CC: but she was talkin aboat the regulatron 4000 and when its wanted at geek centre CC: i would message mom but CC: ngh CC: yeah no TA: the fuckiing what 4000? CC: fuck thats what she called it CC: the secrety fuckin cargo shit yknow CC: knights are luggin that shit around TA: you couldnt have ju2t 2aiid 'cue ball'. TA: iit2 not even a regulator. iif anythiing, iit2 a cataly2t. CC: do i look like fuckin albeit einstein to you CC: dont be so fuckin difficult TA: IIM beiing diiffiicult, yeah. TA: you dont really have two run around iin ciircle2 when tryiing two get out one 2iingular iidea. TA: thii2 ii2nt that fuckiing 2uiiciidal 2hiit2how called hiigh 2chool where your e22ay2 have two have a certaiin word count. what the fuck ii2 wrong wiith 2ayiing 'when do you want the fuckiing cue ball'. TA: why havent they a2ked me, anyway? CC: what CC: fuck should i know CC: probubbly busy over there bein CC: knightish TA: and ii'm over here beiing mageii2h but that doe2n't 2top me from gettiing all thii2 bull2hiit. CC: yeah yeah CC: we get it you hate your life CC: any word from mumsy TA: general ac2 been talkiing two her but ii dont know what about. TA: iif theyd mentiioned you then iim not the one two a2k. TA: iit2 hard enough dealiing wiith ag, do you thiink iim managiing every huge biitch2 liife? CC: well youre enough of a huge glubbin BITC)( so i figured it was your specialty TA: hardy fuckiing har, very funny. TA: handle your own 2hiit. the core ii2 rii2iing and were 2tiill behiind 2chedule. CC: ugh fine CC: later mollusk CC: tell me if you get anyfin i should know -- carboniferousChaos [CC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --

Well, that was about as productive as you expected it to be. Nice to know things at MAIN BASE are running as they ought to, though.

To bad you can't DO ANYT)(ING TO )(-----ELP T)(----EM. Ugh.

You're about to throw quite a fit when your device buzzes. Someone is pestering you. No, two people. And you only like one of them.

> Meenah: Answer the one you like. > Meenah: Answer the one you don't like. > Meenah: [user input: ENTER HERE] instead for a bit.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Frankenstein's Monster. > Dead Fish McGee.

Wow, are you part of her mom's fanclub or something? LAME S)(IT. Last she checked, the loser bus didn't have an aquatic feature. Get the fuck outta here.

That is not a warm smile there. That's a grin of malice, of a promise that you'll get a trident up your ass if you don't treat a CROCKER-PEIXES with a bit more respect.

> Enter name.

Your name is MEENAH CROCKER-PEIXES and boy are you salty. Saltier even than the water you live in.

Once the HEIRESS APPARENT to your mother the BAKING TYCOON, you now find yourself GROUNDED to a stay underwater, due to a MISTAKE you made resulting in some DIFFICULTIES for everyone. Said grounding has lasted four months now, and you're a wee bit pissed about it all.

The 'wee bit' thing is quite false, though. In fact, you're so pissed, that you're not even going to talk about it.

You enjoy DANK GHETTO RAP SHIT, BEING EDGY, BAKING, CLEVER WORDPLAY, and TROLLING THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE. But as of right now, since you're not doing any of those things, it doesn't particularly matter.

You also used to LOVE the OCEAN. But obviously that love has turned a bit sour.

> Meenah: Gripe about the past. > Meenah: Gripe about your scars. > Meenah: Reflect on how/why you're surviving down here. > Meenah: Troll [user input: ENTER HERE].

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Be the one in the secret 8ase. > Uncover the secretness of the secret base by being one who is there. Who is actually you.

You are now the one in the secret 8ase.

Not base, 8ase. After all, you and your ADOPTIVE MOTHER would never let your ridiculous quirks go unannounced whenever the opportunity arises.

You're currently waiting for the young (and rather cute) JOHN EGBERT to arrive, and hopefully without anybody trailing him. From there, you will all head back to the MAIN BASE, with the exception of your MOTHER. 

But all this aside; what is your name?

> Be the one underwater! > Be the one who is underwater.

Whoops, never mind.

You are now... 

Oh dear.

That doesn't look good at all.

> Enter Name.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Equius: Do the UNKNOWN_VARIABLE thing. > Equius: UNLEASH YOUR VOIDLY POWERS AND FLEE THIS MESS WITH YOUR CAT FRIEND.

You do the... thing... that you did earlier.

You don't know how you do it. In fact, you wouldn't say that you do it at all. Rather, you just let it happen, when you feel that slight whisper of energy that tells you that something is waiting for you to INHERIT it. To EMBODY it whenever you need it.

It's entirely impossible to explain. And you don't want to, just in case... it means something.

It could mean that you're one of them, is the thing. But you've never seen one use your powers. You can only even feel the tingly nonsense when you're in grave danger. And now is one of those moments.

> do thre thING.

You do the thing. Power coils inside your core, pushing your every movement as you rush to your best friend. It feels as natural as breathing, as blood, and yet so very surreal. You make contact, and just like that...

... you are gone.

-- galagasCerebralist [GC] began trolling advocateCaracal [AC] --

GC: yo, g3n3r4l l33. GC: w3 m1111111ght h4v3 4 probl3m.

> Be the one who is underwater. > Be the one in the secret base. > Be the one in the Matricrypts. > Be the OTHER one in the Matricrypts.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Equius: Take Karkat and leave, throwing him over your shoulder with your immense STRENGTH.

You sling Karkat over your shoulder like a snoring sack of green potatoes, with the CARGO in your other hand that the artist didn't bother to draw. 

Nepeta looks displeased. She would probably prefer that you be gentler, but Anomalies are tough folk. They have to be.

It's absurdly heavy for its size (the cargo, not Karkat), and this causes you to be concerned. But now certainly isn't the time to open it, just as later won't be, and later still. It's none of your business, as curious as you are. Just as you probably should be curious about the whispers of green and teal trailing behind you.

There's no time for such things, though. Not daring to look behind you, you jerk your head in the right direction before breaking into an immediate run. Nepeta's just a hair ahead of you, her sheer speed and wiry build making up for her shorter legs.

At first, it almost seems like you're going to make it.

But of course, things can't be that easy. 

She's quick to cut you off, but no quicker than you expected. Only an idiot would expect a Psychrine to miss so easily. But of course, that's not the tricky part about them.

The tricky part is that they're impossible to fight.

LATULA: 4nd just wh3r3 do you th1nk you'r3 4ll go1ng? >8]

> Equius: Aggrieve. > Equius: Do the ????? thing.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> You could quit being Equius and be the Teen Titan!

You are now...

... Still Equius.

It's too late. You've started this pony parade, and you cannot go back. It's your time to shine, even if the light hurts your eyes so all your glasses are dark and EDGY.

That being said, you've always found yourself rather fond of BEAST BOY, despite his rather unorthodox and juvenile behavior. It's probably his ADMIRABLE VEGETARIANISM and ability to transform into MAGNIFICENT BEASTS. You are so jealous.

> [S] Equius: Bask in your GLORY.

She does not seem in the mood to touch your muscles. And since her step-brother is CONKED THE HECK OUT, you muscles remain unstroked. A pity.

You should probably wait until you're both safe and calm before attempting anything - even LOVING PAL HUG. Darn it.

> Equius: Follow the protocol for the mission. But first converse with BEST FRIEND. > Scold you best friend for language, apologize for punching her bro, and make sure she's ok. > Question Nepeta on her MYSTERIOUS BAGGAGE.

Oh, she's okay alright. So is the baggage. But she doesn't look happy. Hopefully asking all these questions will help her be less mad at you.

EQUIUS: D --> Nepeta, may I remind you that your language is ine%cusa- NEPETA: >:(( < equius shut up fur a minute!!! EQUIUS: D --> ! NEPETA: >:(( < as great as it is to s33 you again and as grateful as i always am you have a LOT of explaining to do!! NEPETA: >:(( < and wheres horuss!! EQUIUS: D --> Well- NEPETA: >:(( < and how the HECK did i even get here!!!!!! EQUIUS: D --> Nepeta you can't shout while we're still within pro%imity of danger EQUIUS: D --> You will stop demanding such 100dicrous things and acting insane NEPETA: >:(( < and what if i dont? EQUIUS: D --> I'll EQUIUS: D --> Uh EQUIUS: D --> Just don't EQUIUS: D --> It's not safe NEPETA: >:(( < sdfgksdfg fine NEPETA: :33 < i cant believe you knocked out my brother EQUIUS: D --> Is he actually unconscious NEPETA: :33 < yes :(( EQUIUS: D --> I see EQUIUS: D --> Well it was probably necessary you know EQUIUS: D --> But I do apologize NEPETA: :33 < yeah i guess there was no other way NEPETA: :33 < youre forgiven NEPETA: :33 < are you okay though EQUIUS: D --> What EQUIUS: D --> Yes of course EQUIUS: D --> Just vaguely off kilter I suppose EQUIUS: D --> And my stomach feels awfoal EQUIUS: D --> Did they hurt you Nepeta NEPETA: :33 < no no im okay NEPETA: :33 < im tougher than i look and you know that :33 EQUIUS: D --> Yes I suppose so EQUIUS: D --> What about the cargo EQUIUS: D --> It's less impressive than I perhaps imagined NEPETA: :33 < well fur once they arent going all the way with their fashion NEPETA: :33 < its really heavy though EQUIUS: D --> Should I carry it NEPETA: :33 < yes please!! EQUIUS: D --> E%cellent EQUIUS: D --> Now we sh001d get moving EQUIUS: D --> Horuss is waiting a little ways back NEPETA: :33 < wait!! EQUIUS: D --> What NEPETA: :33 < how did i get here?

> Explain how you're practically the best there is, getting past a dude who deals with time and a guy who can bleed you the FUCK out. > Take your best friend to a safer place than here.

For the time being, you TOTALLY FAIL at both of these things. But one step at a time.

EQUIUS: D --> What's that supposed to mean EQUIUS: D --> C001d you e%plain what part of being here you canter not recall EQUIUS: D --> Darn it I mean cannot NEPETA: :33 < um well NEPETA: :33 < once i was locked up it was purrty easy to pick the lock once i woke up NEPETA: ;33 < s33? some of my 'unorthdo%' things are actually useful EQUIUS: D --> *Grumble* NEPETA: :33 < :33 NEPETA: :33 < anyway then i figured i would grab the cargo and run NEPETA: :33 < but one of them must have found my empty cell because dave suddenly appeared NEPETA: :33 < and then efurrything went dark NEPETA: :33 < and i woke up just to see you punch karcat EQUIUS: D --> I see EQUIUS: D --> Very interesting EQUIUS: D --> Well time to go NEPETA: :33 < what? EQUIUS: D --> Time to move before the other knights heed our presence NEPETA: :33 < but something happened back there and you obviously know what! NEPETA: :OO < did you sneak a smoke bomb from mr nitram? EQUIUS: D --> No of horse not EQUIUS: D --> Just EQUIUS: D --> I'll e%plain when we are safe EQUIUS: D --> Now come on NEPETA: :33 < wait! EQUIUS: D --> What NEPETA: :33 < what about my brother? EQUIUS: D --> He is an Anomaly EQUIUS: D --> Don't be ridic001ous, Nepeta, please EQUIUS: D --> You'll only be hurt NEPETA: :33 < yeah, i KNOW THAT, but... NEPETA: :33 < ... wait whats that smell? EQUIUS: D --> Fiddlesti%

> Equius: Investigate the residual energy. > Equius: Take Karkat and leave. > Equius: Abandon both and get out of there.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Be the one who we've all been waiting for.

YES.

FUCK YES.

HELL.

FUCKING.

YES.

NEPETA: >:(( < EQUIUS WHAT THE FUCK

> Enter Name.

You are now EQUIUS ZAHHAK, the guy nobody actually wants but for some reason we've all been waiting for. After saving your best friend from the clutches of ANOMALIES, you punched her brother in the face. She is not very happy about this.

> WHAT THE HEQUIUS COULD YOU POSSIBLY DO?

((Thanks @FIN-GLUBBIN-TASTIC for Equius's masterpiece.))

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Check the ROADS FIRST but then CHECK THE BUILDINGS SHORTLY AFTER, just because you can. Besides, buildings are super suspenseful, safe the best for last bro.

Pressured by the conflicting feelings and ideas raging in your flamboyantly-haired head, you decide to just panic and take the middle ground. Not the road less traveled, but far from the most. Why is this? Perhaps it's something to do with your PEOPLE-PLEASING PERSONALITY. Or maybe you're just a weenie.

It's not a big area - mostly tourist attractions that eventually slope into the actual big CITY. It was never massive by population, this unnamed place of unknown origins that is likely in the USA because everything post-apocalypse is. Rather, the city is spread out, preferring to build outwards than to press its steadily-growing masses into tighter and tighter spaces. Not to say they didn't do that, of course. You worked two jobs before all this started. You know how stressful it can be in the city.

This is particularly the case now. Most of the city is owned by Anomalies, and open assaults are only attempted on the outskirts. Of course, you have SECRET BASES hidden under ruins and behind crevices. It's how JOHN managed to get Pesterchum online.

You're a good ways away from him, though, so you won't worry about that now. You have enough to fret over as it is, what with your BROTHER and PARTNER located god-knows-where.

You would pester Jake, but as previously mentioned, he's NOT ANSWERING HIS DEVICE. Either he's an asshole or out of commission; either way, it's stressing you out!

You focus on the roads ahead of you in an attempt to ease your mind. Not a speck of ash nor ray of light is out of place, and the silence of it all has you feeling eerily watched and (hopefully) aware of your surroundings. They seem silent, with the occasional whistling of wind causing you to jump and wince at your own paranoia. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You need to relax, else you'll be too fidgety to hear anything.

The roads seem devoid of any life, Jakertater or Anomaly, so you'll poke around a few buildings. But first,

> Pester rose whilst moonwalking in the sand.

There's no sand around here, but you still have your DEVICE, so you can get right on to messaging the RAVEN GIRL.

-- aviatingTetralogist [AT] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

AT: hey, raven, how're th1ngs back at the b1g hq? TT: I wasn't aware I was a Teen Titan. TT: Though I can hardly say I'm disappointed. AT: oh, yeah, haha... sorry about that, yo. the name just sort of came to me, y'know? l1ke 'whoa, bangarang! 1've got a good one th1s t1me!!' AT: 1 guess 1t's a reference... or maybe just because you really l1ke spooky stuff. TT: Well, good to know my title as Dollface has not been snatched by a more porcelain character. TT: Is there something wrong? AT: well... yeah, you could probably say that, unfortunately... there's a b1t of a speed bump 1n our plan, but 1 th1nk we can get through 1t w1thout too much ser1ous sh*t. TT: Define 'speed bump'. AT: uhhhhhh... TT: So it's your brother, then? AT: what? oh no, sorry... just th1nk1ng aloud, you know. although we st1ll haven't found h1m yet... AT: 1t's jake. 1 lost h1m. TT: Lost him? How? AT: 1 don't know!! we dec1ded to spl1t up and then meet back and now he's gone. AT: he's not respond1ng to anyth1ng, but 1 d1dn't hear anyth1ng that sounded l1ke dy1ng or f1ght1ng... AT: 1s there a way for you to f1nd h1m? TT: There is a chance, but the signal's weak where you are. TT: I'll talk to Almeis and see if he can track Jake's devices when they're not in use. AT: sh*t, really? TT: It may take a moment, though. Is that okay? AT: oh, yeah, totally! 1'll take some t1me to scout. 1've been so worr1ed my scout1ng's been flat as h*ll, haha... TT: I'd recommend just holding out, actually. Just to be safe. AT: okay, 1f you say so... AT: thanks doll, you're the best. TT: I try. TT: Now hurry up. Tybrus is impatient. AT: how do you get to talk to them all on f1rst name bas1s? TT: Well, I don't do it to their face. AT: oh, haha. nice one, doll. AT: tell me when you f1nd h1m! TT: Will do.

-- aviatingTetralogist [AT] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

You guess you just have to wait it out.

Surely, nothing bad will happen.

> Be the one who is now a Teen Titan. > Be the one who now has a dragon. > Be the one who we've all been waiting for.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Keep walking, he is probably nearby. > Keep walking along, but don't call out!! What if you alert enemies of your presence??

While you haven't seen any enemies in the last few minutes, it does make more sense to be quiet than go hollering for Jakertater. The worst in this case tend to be the PARADOXITRONS, because they just appear out of nowhere and suddenly you've falling from 50 feet up in the air. As you walk along the waterline, you keep an eye out for them as much as you do for Jake.

A few minutes pass, the sand being a pain as it tends to make your mechanical leg sink slightly into it. Luckily, the tide's pretty mild right now, even as the SUN begins to set.

Is this a symbol for something? Probably not.

You can't seem to find the guy. In fact, there's not a trace or him or anyone else. Even so, you're happy you didn't try to call for him. Who knows what's out here besides deathly silence and the smell of wet dog?

> have a that's so raven moment and see into the future, before realising that's complete bullshit and head back a bit, maybe you dropped some goo goo gaa gaa shit..

As much as That's So Raven is TOTALLY YOUR JAM, you can't see into the future. The only people who can do that are MAGES and TIME PEOPLE, although if anyone asked, you wouldn't hesitate to hint at the notion that ROSE LALONDE does now and then. That's more her being a smartie than anything, though.

Since the beach is obviously empty, you take a turn and head towards what was once a flourishing beach town. Tourist attraction; you went a few times. Unsurprisingly, the place is in ruins now. A disappointment if there ever was one.

A stir in the WIND causes you to hesitate, but you blame it on your nerves and keep going. There are a few ruined buildings up ahead, as well as the streets coiling around them. You're as unsure about Jake being there as you are about what else could be, unfortunately.

What will you do?

> Rufioh: Check the buildings. > Rufioh: Check the roads. > Rufioh: Pester [user input: ENTER HERE].

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Rufioh: Pester your BFF

Hmm. You're not actually sure who really qualifies as your BFF.

Actually, that's a total lie. You know who it is... or rather, was. Probably the only person your age who didn't hit on you all the time, huh?

Yeah. You would have once dared call her your BFF. Even though you would've probably regretted it a second after if she ever heard you say it. Gal really had to chill. Probably still does.

You guess you have a few other BFFs? Maybe. You'd be a bit flustered if anyone asked.

-- aviatingTetralogist [AT] began pestering atheniumGravitator [AG] --

AT: hey, doll. congrats on gett1ng pesterchum up! real awesome job... you busy r1ght now? AT: th1ngs are turn1ng k1nda hayw1re here, haha... 1'm k1nda we1rd1ng out! we're 1n some ser1ous stress calaboose, you know? f*ck1ng crazy 1n green1e terr1tory... AT: are you there? oh, man... maybe your dev1ce 1sn't connected yet or someth1ng, d*mmn1t. AT: can you message me when you get th1s, at least? just a few th1ngs 1'm freak1n out about, as per usual, haha. }:) AT: no rush! AT: uh... yeah. see you soon, hopefully.

-- aviatingTetralogist [AT] ceased pestering atheniumGravitator [AG] --

Damn spiders just can't be consistent, can they? Makes them a pain in the ass to fight, too.

Oh well. She's probably doing something important, and is usually quick on getting back to people. You should hear back from her soon!

> Rufioh: Find your mission partner.

Right-o! You should definitely get on that.

> Why cant you walk AND talk maaaan. Maybe pester your younger bro...

... Oh. Right. Hmm.

It sure would've saved you time if you started walking earlier, huh? Idiot. Idiot. You berate yourself in full before actually daring to move your legs, sand soft under your shoe and mechanical foot.

It's a strange day today, too cloudy to be called cheery and too bright to be called dreary. It does little to reflect your mood, though, as you are hardly short of terrified. Somewhere out in the water is the CORE, and even though you're obviously imagining it, you almost wonder if it's tugging at your mind even now, pushing you to swim to it until you die or turn into a greenskinned weirdo.

Your partner JAKE suggested that you skirt along the water, check out the sights as close to the CORE as you can get. It doesn't seem like it was a very valid search, though, as he's NOT REPLYING to his Pesterchum, and you can't find him or anyone else.

You can't pester TAVROS either. It's unlikely they would let him have any sort of device.

He's the one you're trying to SAVE, after all.

Where the hell is OVERBITE ADVENTUREGLOCK?

> Rufioh: Keeping walking along the sand and call for Jake. He can't have gone far. > Rufioh: Backtrack a bit and head into the nearest city ruins. He might have had to find safety.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> GET A NAME!!! > Get a name then pester the most important character.

A name? Sounds good!

> Enter Name.

Your name is RUFIOH NITRAM.

Normally, despite your apparently lack of ABUNDANT SELF ESTEEM, you'd be happy to talk about your own interests. You're quite the collector of interests, just as you are a collector of things like POKEMON CARDS and RAD OUTFITS and COOL CAMPFIRE STORIES. You could go about about all the bad decisions you've made in the past, or the ways you've paid for them. Or rather, the way you FEAR you'll pay for them in the future. Particularly considering... er. Things.

Anyway. You would talk about these things, but you don't have time for that. You're on a RESCUE MISSION, you and your partner.

Although considering how you don't know where your partner is, this may become a DOUBLE RESCUE MISSION. Sh*t.

> Pester the most important character.

-- aviatingTetralogist [AT] began pestering k????D??? [KD] -- AT: oh, d*mn... n1ce to see pesterchum back up, r1ght? AT: 1t's really stat1cky here... must be some wacky sh*t the greensk1ns are toss1ng up, haha! man... they're crazy out there, y'know? AT: 1s th1s th1ng work1ng? KD: who the fuck are you AT: oh, sh*t! AT: sorry man... uh, whoever you are, sorry. 1 must have connected to someth1ng wrong, a messup 1n the server, you know how that techno b1z can be... KD: the fuck KD: you wanna go AT: 1 don't know how that could've happened, honest! KD: don't mess with me im fucking ripped irl AT: what? AT: nah, 1 th1nk 1'll have to pass... KD: too late KD: you're dead meat now AT: sh*t... 1 really don't have t1me for th1s... -- aviatingTetralogist [AT] has blocked k????D??? [KD] --

What the fuck was that.

The world may never know.

> Be the most important character.

This person, as much as there identity changed, is LOCKED indefinitely. You may only admire them from afar, until the author actually seriously sits down and wonders who this most important person could possibly end up being.

Let's just ignore that all this happened and get back to YuGiOh. Er, Rufioh.

> Rufioh: Find your mission partner. > Rufioh: Pester [user input: ENTER HERE].

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Be the one who cannot fly.

You are THIS GUY. Despite anything that might suggest otherwise, never have you been able to fly, and you will never be able to fly. There's no reason why you'd want to, anyway, because last time you checked, everyone that flew around here was BATSHIT CRAZY.

So you can't fly. You also can't find any hair dye. Your FLAMING LOCKS are starting to deteriorate in FLAMEYNESS. Quite the dilemma.

But what's certainly a worse dilemma is the fact that we still don't have a name for this young fellow!

> Enter name.

You are about to be dubbed something dumb like CHEATFART LOSTBOY, but before anything can be typed, you remember that you're in too much of a TIGHT FIX to bother with that right now! You can't find your PARTNER, your hair is dilapidated and obscenely styled, your weapons are almost ammo-free, and you're only a little bit TOTALLY SCARED FOR YOUR LIFE right now. But not as scared as you are for those you care about. They - and you, now that you think about it - just can't stay out of trouble.

Being in enemy territory is hard. It's hard and nobody understands.

> Find your mission partner. > Remember your mission. > Pester [user input: ENTER HERE]. > Get a name goddamnit.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Latula: Report to Aunt Cecily. > Go back to Aunt Cecily.

You don't have time to run all the way back there, so you just use your phone again.

galagasCerebralist [GC] began trolling grinagogConviction [(GC)]

GC: yo 4unt13 c l4wsu1t w3 got 4 probl3m. (GC): 4nother new nickn4me! Sucks th4t it comes with wh4t sounds like b4d news. GC: y3333334h. >8\ GC: str1d3rs out h3r3 4nd h3s tot4lly tot4ll3d!!! (GC): Tot4lly? GC: Y34H!!!! GC: 1 dont know who got h1m or how but 1ts obvz 4 b1t of 4 r34lly b1g probl3m. (GC): Obvs is something you could c4ll it, ye4h. (GC): I'll hold the b4se on my own. Find his 4tt4ckers 4nd h4ndle them 4ppropri4tely. (GC): Survivors would be nice. This h4s to be figured out. GC: y3s m44m! (GC): Oh, 4nd find K4rk4t. He could be out there too! GC: rog3r th4t. GC: tul3z out!

galagasCerebralist [GC] ceased trolling grinagogConviction [(GC)]

Go after them, huh? You can probably manage that.

> YOUR ALPHA MALE'S HONOR MUST BE RESTORED IMMEDIATELY. GO FORTH AND FIND THEIR ATTACKER AND PLEASE YOUR BEATEN ALPHA. > Go forth and WRECK some SCRUBS. > Of course go find the attacker, they might still be close, or maybe even watching. > Find the attacker, but in a peaceful manner. Violence will not help the situation, come on, any Psychrine knows that.

> Latula: Go find the attacker.

You're a little unsettled by the phrasing of some of these commands, but you're not about to deny them. You're pretty sure Dave is anything but an Alpha, considering how he's a HUGE COOLGUY WANNABE in your opinion. But you get the message.

As for peacefulness... well. That's never been been YOUR THING. However, your aunt wants survivors, so you'll do what you can to not punch or stab ALL of them.

You leave DAVE'S side and head out, further away from the Rec Center and out towards the neighboring ruins. Your powers flare up again, mapping out his path and the best one for you, so you may turn the corner and...

> Be the one who cannot fly. > Be the one who did the Lifey Thing. > Be the one asking why MR keeps leaving everything on dumb cliffhangers.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Go help the poor thing! > GO TO HELP YOUR ALPHA MALE.

You stop using your abilities to perform a COOLGRL SPEEDSCAMPER out to where Dave is. Outside the rec center, not far but far enough to not be heard when he was conked the fuck out. It's not a long run.

Looks like he was hit in the face, and knocked out in the process. He's dazed at the very least, and while it's nothing some R&R and a visit from p4ystubz' little sister won't fix, you're still awfully worried. And maybe a bit scared of whatever could sneak up on a guy who bends time like a goddamn pipe cleaner.

LATULA: d4y str1zzl3! g3t up!!! LATULA: com3 on!!!! LATULA: ... LATULA: d4v3? LATULA: d4mn. your3 tot4lly tot4ll3d, huh??? LATULA: you gonn4 g3t up, or... LATULA: ... no? ok4y. f11111n3. LATULA: k33p 4ll th3 d33tz to yours3lf 4nd m4k3 th3 d1s4bl3d grl f1gur3 1t out. LATULA: f1n3! 1 just h4v3 to. work w1th th1s. LATULA: c4tch you fl1ps1d3, turnt4bl3z!!!

No use. He'll be out for a while.

You can't find Karkat, either. He must have missed Dave, otherwise you'd have heard the commotion.

> Latula: Go back to Aunt Cecily. > Latula: Go find the attacker.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Latula: Use your powers to find Dave.

You do the MINDY THING to find Dave.

For the record, you think TIME and SPACE are overrated. For all their majyyks, they can still make mistakes and goof up. For all the times they can do a CLUNKY RESET of their own actions, they can still miss important details, dodge their unconscious hinting.

You, on the other hand?

Yeah. You can do WAY cooler than that.

PSYCHRINE, or MIND powers, aren't as literal as they may seem. Yes, you have an INTUITION TOWARDS THE MENTAL FACULTIES OF OTHERS, and are a FANTASTIC BLABBERER OF DEEP SHIT. You can EXPLOIT the MINDS of others, and once Aunt Cecily told you she could locate anything with a frontal lobe. She was probably exaggerating, but still.

But it's not just what the mind is in itself. It's decisions and logic, the creations and monstrosities one's brain may produce. It's what the mind has done, and will do, and you see it all like a map. Or you will, someday. When you really get the hang of it.

Your abilities reach out and pinpoint what you want to find. Places where the Latula of another TIMELINE reached conflict and collision, and you can avoid those things. Due to this, you can find where the hell DAVE was - in fact, you can find where Dave is right now! NOTHING can escape you, certainly not the TIMEY GUY outside, despite the fact that timey people are by all means uncatchable due to their powe-

Wait what the fuck.

> Latula: Go help him! > Latula: Go find who attacked him?

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Latula: Converse with your other best friend, bc being against the rules is more radical.

You're not THAT kind of radical. Despite being quite the justice-dealer and law-knower thanks to your aunt, politics aren't your thing at all. You'll still message her, though, because despite not being absurdly left-wing or anything, you're still R4D1C4L in a different way. Yeah!!

-- galagasCerebralist [GC] began trolling carboniferousChaos [CC] -- GC: yo, p4ystubz hotsh4rk!!! GC: h3llf1sh! GC: ... GC: m34n-4h???? GC: grrrrl com3 on dont d3ny my bod4c1ous n1ckn4m3z!!! CC: whoa shit what CC: yeah yeah im here calm your flippers CC: so im paystubz hotshark again huh GC: h3llz y34h! >8] CC: hm CC: i liked paypal better GC: r34lly? GC: or should 1 s4y, *R33LLY*??? CC: fuck yes you should GC: h4h4. st1ll go1ng w1th th3 f1sh punz huh? GC: 4lr1ght. 1 c4n d34l w1th 4 s1gn1f1c4nt d3cl1n3 1n r4d popul4c3. >8] CC: what CC: glubbin fuck gill did you just GC: s4y wh4t? 1 dont know wh4t your3 t4lk1ng 4bout. >8] CC: jesus cod CC: get the fuck outta here girl i know your waves of upfuckery CC: youre alwaves haulin that lowkey sharky GC: sh4rky??? CC: yeah S)(ARKY GC: >8? CC: coddddddddddd CC: i mean snarky GC: oh! pfffffft. GC: n1c3 on3, grl! h1gh f1v3!!! CC: uh CC: beach im like fifty miles awave or some shit GC: r34lly? CC: whale somefin like that i think GC: l4444444m3. GC: m4n though, th1s br1ngz b4ck so m4ny m3mor13s. GC: w3 gott4 h4ng som3t1m3 ok4y? GC: j4m som3 w1ck3d tun3z 4nd unl34sh th3 r34l3st of 41r!!!! GC: (3v3n 1f your3 und3rw4t3r.) GC: 1tll b3 1ll 4s fuck!!! CC: tules you know i cant CC: moms stupid fuckin orders GC: w3ll just h4v3 to conv1nc3 h3r, punstubz! CC: punstubz reelly GC: 1m 4 psycho-grl r3m3mb3r? GC: 1 c4n t4lk h3r 1nto 4nyth1ng. just w4tch m3!!! CC: uh yeah shore CC: whatever floats your boat and puts you to bed at night CC: why did you nag me though CC: just to like CC: chat GC: w3ll 1 w4nt3d to ch4t sur3. GC: but 1 w4s 4lso gonn4 4sk wh3n your mom w4nts th3 r3gul4tron 4000. CC: the fuck is that CC: O)( that thing CC: why not just call it its name GC: som3t1m3s you gott4 b3 crossw4yz 4nd s3lf contr4d1ctory 1n flow for th3 s4k3 of m4x1m1z3d ch1ll4x1tud3 4nd r4dn3ss, p4yp4l. GC: just th3 w4y th3 world 1s. CC: shore CC: whale i dont actunally know but CC: ill ask her as soon as i can GC: 4w3som3!!! your3 th3 b3st. GC: or 4t l34st pr3tty clos3. >8] CC: no prawnblem CC: ... CC: okay that one was a stretch i admit GC: h4h4! -- galagasCerebralist [GC] ceased trolling carboniferousChaos [CC] --

She's great. It sucks that you can never see her anymore.

But hey, you suppose it's her own fault. She's just lucky she can do the LIFEY THING.

> TROLL THE DAVE. > Obey the super rad cat lady. > troll dave. > Troll the r4d d4v3 coolk1d.

Yeah, where is that loser?

-- galagasCerebralist [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] -- GC: h333y d4y str1zzl3!!! GC: wh3r3 you 4t??? g3n3r4l l33 w4nts 4n upd4t3 on h3r k1d! GC: n3p3z 1s 4 m4jor hot top1c r1ght now. GC: 1ts l1k3 sh3 just b1tch sm4ck3d coolk1d runw4y! GC: your pos1t1on 1s b31ng comprom1s3d, dud3. GC: dud3? GC: why 4r3 you n3rdz SO SLOW on r3ply1ng? GC: 1ts not m3 1s 1t? GC: h4! l1k3 1td tot4lly b3 m3. >8] GC: but s3r1ously dud3. GC: dud3??? GC: huh. -- galagasCerebralist [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

That's... odd. You should probably skip to the chase and use your power to find...

> Nepeta. > Dave.

[anomalies-corebound-blog]

> Pester one of your best friends. > Pester your beastie.

You have a few best friends, actually. It'll be hard to pick, but fortunately, you have some stuff to report anyway that gives you an opportunity to message a BEASTIE BESTIE. You're not as tight with her as your aunt is, but she's still a super rad lady, and you're given a bit of liberty on your comments with her because of it. You would give her props but you're a bit scared of her claws.

> Before pestering your bestie, do a radical trick with your skateboard!

Unfortunately, you cannot do this. Your skateboard was left at home.

You make a mental note to practice your rails when you get home. Until then, you will message your BESTIE. No, not just your BESTIE. Your BEASTIE. There is probably not really a difference but you take it literally and go to troll one bomb-ass WILDCAT.

- galagasCerebralist [GC] began trolling advocateCaracal [AC] -- GC: h3333y g3n3r4l l33!!! GC: st4tus upd4t3 t1m3! AC: Oh, Latula! AC: I didn't expect you. :33 AC: Status update? GC: y34h grl, 1ts m4d bonk3rz out h3r3, l1k3 4 m4k4rky m1gr41n3 just. l4nd3d 4 r1d1c cr4p on our b1z. GC: wh4ts up w1th th4t??? or th3m???? who knows r1ght? GC: cr444zy. AC: "Makarky", h33h33. AC: That bad, huh? AC: Well please, don't k33p me waiting. AC: It's pretty busy over here! GC: r1ght! GC: w3ll to sk1p 4ll th3 compl3t3ly uncool pr3cursory conv3rs4t1on4l no1s3. GC: w3 found your d4ught3r! AC: Meulin? She was missing? GC: n4h, th3 oth3r on3. n3p nop. >8] AC: What? Really? GC: y34h grl! 1n th3 fl3sh 4nd fur 4nd sn34k l1k3 fuck! GC: sh3 got w4y 1n h3r3 b3for3 4nyon3 4ctu4lly got. GC: 1 dunno wh3r3 h3r c4ptors 4r3 r1ght now though... AC: Oh, dear. AC: Could you find them, please? And tell them to call me? AC: And check on Nepeta, please. GC: sur3 th1ng! GC: h4v3 fun w1th... uh, wh4t 4r3 you do1ng??? AC: Lots of things. Mostly just keeping the rowdy ones in line until we're prepared. AC: I didn't think Nepeta was going to get so involved. GC: w3ll k33p 4n 3y3 on h3r, dont worry >8] AC: I trust you. AC: Stay safe! -- advocateCaracal [AC] ceased trolling galagasCerebralist [GC] --

> Latula: Pester/troll/whatever your OTHER best friend. > Latula: Troll Dave because the cat lady told you to.