Anxious, Hungry & Horny

[beyoncebeytwice]

i need more redeeming qualities my amazing sense of humor isnt getting me anywhere

[anonaliz]

i’m so fat *opens fridge*

[anonaliz]

what she says: i'm fine

what she means: if in shrek 2, fiona's parents are the king and queen of the land, how come lord farquad has the governmental power in the first movie? surely when you think about it, the kingdom of far far away, shrek's swamp, lord farquad's city, and fiona's tower are all within walking distance - shrek and donkey make it from the swamp to the castle to fiona's tower in a matter of days, all on foot, so it is a small area of land we're talking about. so who is this lord farquad, and does he have any relation to the king and queen? was his and fiona's wedding incest?? or was he doing something illegal unbeknownst to the kingdom?? is lord farquad's city of Duloc it's own country, much like the vatican is of italy?? does shrek's swamp fall into duloc, or the kingdoms territory? was Lord Farquad illegally using the land when he dumped the fairytale creatures there??? who creates these legislative policies??? is there a governmental force bigger than both the kingdom and duloc???? how many layers does lord farquad have?????

[dutchstore]

How to drop a subtle hint that you want something at the store by Katie Ryan

[anonaliz]

me: i'll give you two dollars

college: .........tuition is $39,000

me: you're good. 2.50

[coffing-deactivated20220824]

making plans with your friends 

[tontonmichel-deactivated2022021]

[mysimpsonsblogisgreaterthanyours]

[prodiigyy]

[armadillorollup]

*passive aggressive Australian voice* listen…mate 

[m-a-r-r-e-n-t-o]

[piratesofthecaribbean]

[thecrowdedmindofjohnnydepp]

 ”no u arent doing it right let me demonstrate”

[jacks-compass-deactivated201411]

Johnny depp teaching other johnny depps so they can rule the world in his absence

[toxeh]

The mother Depp teaches it’s Depplings how to behave in the wild. 

[demon-moose]

depplings

[anonaliz]

[anonaliz]

[exeggcute]

at this point I’ve nearly forgotten that pirating movies and software is illegal

[perfecly]

Stop planting your flowers in other people’s gardens if you know they aren’t going to water them.

[smeliot-deactivated20220528]

is this metaphorical or are we talking about animal crossing because i

[calsgang]

IM LAUGHING SO MUCH

I just got back from shopping and I saw the nerf gun lying behind the sofa

and I was so confused, but then I heard someone laughing 

and it was my nan, she’s 80 for christ sake

just look at the concentration on her face

and how proud she was when she shot my sister on the side of the head, she’s so amazed by nerf guns it’s so funny, just look at her face