Here Be My Lady Thoughts

Someone once told me they could take the stories of my socially awkward existence and do quite well at open mike night, so I’m doing it first. Except on tumblr. Because I don’t have to see anyone’s faces.

[laniister]

“Andromeda was my favourite cousin. No, Andromeda’s not on here either, look. Andromeda’s sisters are still here because they made lovely, respectable pure-blood marriages, but Andromeda married a Muggle-born, Ted Tonks…”

[euphemiapotter-archive]

We — Narcissa and I — have never set eyes on our sister since she married the Mudblood. 

[anoncomedienne]

Me: hello, Apple? Yes, I just dumpster dove for my headphone converter when I threw it away by mistake. AirPods aren’t practical for all of us.

Apple *in rich* : f you sweaty plebeian

[anoncomedienne]

Hello, and welcome to, “am I more socially awkward than you?”

In this segment, I ask for advice on reconnecting with a friend who just moved back from my city. I last saw her at her wedding where I accidentally gave her a used chapstick.

Don’t ask me how.