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Cows Are Deadly
Our gnome barbarian decided that, even though we’re all near dead after fighting dire wolves in the woods, would go and ride on a cow’s back (on the farm of the man that is paying us for killing the wolves). PS, the gnome is supposed to be our tank.
DM: You want to try and ride it?
Gnome: Yeah! What do I roll?
DM: Um, dexterity check?
Gnome: *rolls* …um…nat 1?
DM: You try to jump on it from behind, scaring it, and it kicks you square in the chest. Roll constitution save throw.
Gnome: U-um, kay…
Gnome: *rolls nat 1* Oh shit
DM: The cow kicks you, dents your armour, and you’re now at 1 HP
Our Bard: Hello Darkness My Old Friend…
Yan Shu - https://mad-jojo.tumblr.com - https://twitter.com/shuyan1988 - https://www.facebook.com/artofshuyan - https://www.linkedin.com/in/yan-shu-88722726 - https://www.artstation.com/mad_jojo - https://www.facebook.com/yan.shu.372
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i did a thing don’t ask why
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Curse the Machines
I happen to work the night shift for the IT department in a hospital, and I get to see some pretty interesting things from time to time. For the most part the night shift crew has a decent sense of humor, something you pretty much have to have in order to survive some of the stuff that goes on in a hospital. So the other night I had to do some rounding through our emergency rooms to make sure some changes to the computers in the area took. While I was checking one of the computers I ran across an image on the desktop named “Curse the Machines.” Now I am a very curious person by nature so I really could not pass up the chance to know what that image had on it, and I was not disappointed.
When I opened up said image it merely read: “Punched Red-box machine, hand injury.” I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle when I saw this because it was just too good. I can’t even image the level of frustration someone would need to have to punch a Red box machine, go to the hospital, and get that busted hand patched up. If life is that stressful you may wish to invest in a punching bag and some gloves, as objects harder than your hand are typically going to win.
“Cats, not to be trusted.”
There is some truth to that when you stop to think about it. Cats have the personality to take what they want when they want it. When you compare cats to dogs, cats pretty much trumped dogs in terms of what either get from their human counterparts. Cats pretty much have total freedom, they are given an indoor spot to shit, when they want love they will take it, when they don’t they can hide, sleep as much as they want, play if they want, and typically get treats for doing nothing. Dogs on the other not so much.
This initial thought process started when one of my cats decided to sit and stare at me for 10 minutes before I provided the petting he was after. Now this particular cat is pretty strong willed, and will repeatedly jump into your lap even when you toss him out. He will bully you into cuddles until you relent. This personality trait got me thinking about which of the two common household animals are smarter. Now most people typically side one way or the other, but I’m an all-around animal lover so I tried to look at the question objectively. This also happens to touch on the idea that cats domesticated themselves, rather than domesticated by humans.
When looking at which animal is smarter, I’m not looking at which animal has the greater capacity to learn. I’m more interested in which animal has the greater accomplishments overall. Dogs are great because they do have that capacity to learn commands, and remain loyal to those they see as their leader. Dogs were also domesticated and breed to perform different function, such as herding and hunting. However, cats on the other hand simply adapted and created a symbiotic relationship with humans. This is where I begin to believe that cats are smarter than we may believe them to be. Cats became the street clearers for vermin, which in turn earned them the protection of the town as well as some of the people. They continued to adapt to their surroundings so much that they have been welcomed into our house, given food, shelter, and their own personal bathroom. All the while not having to learn any new skill sets. Dogs on the other hand took a little longer for them to be considered family, and they never really adapted to living side by side with humans on their own. As the primary use for dogs were task related rather than pet related. Not to say either side didn’t have its outliers.
This is where I began to start wondering why cats were revered in Ancient Egypt. Now, I had known that cats had a certain level of status within Egyptian society and the God Bastet took the form of a cat. But I never really knew why they revered cats, or if there was even a reason. So what started off as being bullied for love by one of my cats, turned into a journey of the mind. And to that point, this journey was not all for nothing. While the reason for the reverence of cats was somewhat lack luster, mostly because they cleaned the streets and that earned the respect of the Egyptians. I may have been secretly hoping for some alien type connection where the Egyptians had though that cats were the great makers of the world. Thus making them our secret overlords without us even realizing it due to the simple fact they basically get everything they want with little effort. However, I still think that is pretty cool as they performed a function and earned a spot in society. Whereas dogs were more forced into performing tasks by being trained and bred for them.
What I will leave you with is another tid bit from my journey. Apparently if a cat died that was part of a family, that family would shave their eyebrows to mourn their loss. There, that’s a thing you know now.
TL:DR – Cats are histories great manipulators that have worked their way into our homes with little effort. Should a cat of yours die, you should probably shave your eyebrows to honor them.
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Thought trains
When I am alone or currently have a lack of distractions. My mind tends to run wild “trains” that can chain together, one thought to the next. These “trains,” short for “thought trains,” are what I would describe as starting with a simple thought that leads you to something you may not normally think about.
For example, I own a few cats. One cat is essentially a bully in everything that he does. When I had realized he was a bully even when he wants pets, it started me down a path that ended in why cats were so important to the Egyptians.
Now some people may wonder how I got from point A to point B. Some may not care, and that is fine. But for those that have a general curiosity I’ll tell you, as well as my other random thoughts.