Murderhobos Anonymous

Wherin I blather about playing Pathfinder.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"Buckle up motherfuckers, I'm going full Ace Attorney on this shit."

- Bard OOC

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

There's a name I haven't heard in a while. @shabrytolbolter

[tabletopresources]

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Well, duuuh.

[orbo-gifs]

Trying to open a portal to the birb dimension

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

For @toohighaspirit

[yourplayersaidwhat]

If you disrespect our DM, you get booped by the Booping Sword

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

@shabrytolbolter, your table should always have one of those.

[the-stray-liger]

Describe your DnD party in the shittiest possible way go

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Home game, recently concluded campaign: We are the B-team.

[dr-archeville]

Dungeons & Dragons Rules and Edition Evolution by Christopher Howard [source]

I made a thing to help explain to newbies (or, anyone, really) the gigantic continuity snarl that is this game’s history.

Also helps demonstrate that Edition Wars have been raging pretty much constantly since 1977, and there are battles raging at each and every iteration (yes, even Holmes Basic vs. Mondvay… and dear GOD can the B/X vs. BECMI arguments get vicious!)

Link goes to comments thread with suggestion for additions and edits.

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

My friends in the dorm introduced me to D&D in the fall of 1978. We snatched up the AD&D 1st edition books as they came out. But UGA is a big school, and we all went in separate directions over the next couple of years. [Insert pause from about 1981 to 2013.] I bought a set of AD&D 3.5 books but was never able to get a game together, then found Pathfinder Society organized play. Coincidentally a group of friends invited me to join their biweekly game group, also playing Pathfinder.

[amazonchique]

Wes: Hey Crystal, I need you to write up a new category of true neutral outsiders, who are goth, mysterious, spooky escorts for dead souls. Make sure they’re kind of unsettling, but cool.

Me:

[wesschneider]

[amazonchique]

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Our session of Abducted in Aether would have been better with one of these. @shabrytolbolter

[nealflitherland]

Tournaments: The Arcane Masters

If you've ever wanted to pit your wizards and sorcerers against one another, there is no better time than The Arcane Masters. This unique tournament is unlike anything else in the world, and it comes fully fleshed out with rules for participating, as well as plot hooks you could use if you just want to have it as background in your game.

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Cool idea.

[officialpaizo]

What kind of cheeses are popular in Golarion? Is it a fairly 'real world' assortment or are their some stranger cheeses? Can cheese be magically imbued like potions? These are things a Gnome's gotta know!

Cheese you say?

The cheesemongers of the Inner Sea are as of yet an unexplored territory in our campaign setting material, and given the fact that basic food-making processes are pretty unchanged, I’d definitely say you would have the normal real world assortment of cheeses available to you.

Stranger cheeses would probably be from milk-producing animals that don’t have a real-world equivalent, though the fact that megafauna still exist in Golarion means you could get your mammoth cheese…and eat it too.

As far as magical cheese…

Mod’s opinion is that it would function just like Brew Potion (or if you want to make elixirs or items not limited by Brew Potion, Craft Wondrous Items), but Mod thinks that Brew Potion would work better for fresher cheeses (mozzarella, creme fraiche) rather than cheddars or other aged cheeses—that seems to be a better role for Craft Wondrous Items.

I hope your gnome can work out something with the GM to get all the delicious cheese they can eat, and mechanical bonuses too!

[doctorslippery]

Magic RPG cheeses? I’m in.

[danoftomorrow]

@watyrfall food for thought.

[officialpaizo]

We don’t disabrie. :D

[practisite]

So when you do produce this much needed sourcebook, you are legally required to call it the Muenster Manual.

[officialpaizo]

To be followed with a sequel of Havarti Handbook, then the Gouda Guide.

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Gauthier the cheese-obsessed Monk is officially endorsed!

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Coming soon.....

An upcoming PFS character: A monk, who looks the classic medieval-style monastic. Brown homespun tunic, rope belt, tonsured haircut. His name is Gauthier and he has a ridiculous pseudo-French accent. He has two great pleasures in life: Fighting and cheese. I think whenever I play him I'll bring some of those little round red wax-covered cheeses to distribute. "You like ze cheeses of Gauthier, yes?" Must come up with more silliness for this guy.

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Lovecraft's Creatures Would Have Made Excellent Opponents For Europe's Crusaders

What if H.P. Lovecraft had been around in the Middle Ages? It’s likely that the crusades would have turned out very differently, as seen by these fantastic illustrations from Austrian illustrator, Robert Altbauer.

Two Pathfinder connections here.  First there’s the upcoming Strange Aeons adventure path.  Second, I’m pretty sure the last pic in this article is a gug, which might be somewhere in Lovecraft, but I know from Pathfinder’s Bestiary 2.

[wesschneider]

Path of the Hellknight

The HARDCORE AS &#$% cover to my upcoming book, Path of the Hellknight, just hit!

So did a slew of new details on this giant guide to my favorite organization of relentless lawbringers. Check ‘em out:

Champions of Unwavering Law

Merciless, black-armored enforcers, Hellknights care nothing for good or evil, only their absolute, unflinching vision of law. In Pathfinder Campaign Setting: Path of the Hellknight, you’ll join the ranks of Golarion’s harshest champions of order—knights with ironclad discipline forged in the flames of Hell. Learn the ways of all the Hellknight orders, their true relationship with the legions of Hell, and how to tie your characters to one of Pathfinder’s most fearsome organizations. Players and Game Masters can also lay claim to the complete Hellknight arsenal, from terrifying battle arts and grim equipment to the secrets of masked signifers’ frontline magic. The Hellknights’ unstoppable might is yours to command as you impose unshakable order—whatever the cost.

Among the grim secrets within you’ll find:

* Details about joining a Hellknight order, as well as a timeline of the orders’ histories and a comprehensive look at the Measure and the Chain, the philosophies that guide these knights.

* In-depth descriptions of the seven major Hellknight orders, including the brutal physical reckonings from which they draw great power.

*An arsenal of feats, spells, and equipment these lawful crusaders typically use, plus class options such as the order of the Ennead Star cavalier order and new disciplines for the Hellknight prestige class.

Pathfinder Campaign Setting: Path of the Hellknight is intended for use with the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game and the Pathfinder campaign setting, but can easily be used in any fantasy game.

Amanda Hamon Kunz and John Compton deserve a TON of thanks for all their advice, editing, and general rein-holding on this project. It wouldn’t be a fifth as cool as it turned out to be without all their hard work. Sarah Robinson also totally out did herself on the look and design of this thing. The whole thing turned out looking fantastic.

Path of the Hellknight hits in June. Check out more and preorder on the book’s product page here.

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

@shabrytolbolter We will grab this when it comes out.

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Low point of tonight’s PFS scenario, playing my Barbarian:  Being paralyzed throughout the entire first encounter.

High points:

1) Needed to topple a statue. “I’ve got a Masterwork Crowbar, by god!”  It actually made the difference between success and failure. 

2) The only full attack I made all night landed all three shots for about 85 points of damage and took out the BBEG.

Lesson not so much learned as reinforced - playing a low-tier character (6) in a high-tier scenario (8-9) is just painful.

[knightofleo]

American Shorthair Knight

Abyssinian Bard

Norwegian Forest Cat Shaman

Persian Scholar

Bombay Assassin

Sphynx Fighter

Scottish Fold Warrior

Bengal Archer

Turkish Angora Healer

Maine Coon Berserker

Siamese Magician

Russian Blue Thief

Kyoung Hwan Kim - Army of Wool

more by Kyoung Hwan Kim

[monkeysaysficus]

Literally the greatest post ever.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I wish to hear tales of their adventures :D

[kuroba101]

The noises I just made weren’t human, I swear!

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

This is TOO CUTE FOR WORDS

[kuroba101]

Words are meaningless here!

Only squeaks and squeals and Wookie noises remain!

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

< Makes excited Wookie noises

[dr-archeville]

:3

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

How come you haven't reblogged this yet, @shabrytolbolter?

[tinderswishlist]

Hex Chest Dice Boxes

The original dice box you’ve seen on Reddit and Kickstarter, now available for purchase! These beautiful and unique dice boxes make great gifts for your favorite gamer!

About the dice box design:

These dice boxes are designed to be unique and customizable for you!

Beehive style comfortably holds 7 21mm (or smaller) dice. Open style holds about 14-15 mixed dice.

Open style boxes can double as a small dice tray

Strong neodymium magnets hold the box closed during transport

Each completed Hex Chest includes:

Your customized dice box

One velvet bag for storage

Foam padding to keep your dice quiet during transport

Happy travels, friend!

[piratejazzy-deactivated20180114]

OMG these are too cool!

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Saving for later.

[fuckyeahrichardiii]

A long time ago, in a North Atlantic far far away...

But Hani threw his axe first, and the axe dug all the way into the brain of Grídó, who fell down dead straightaway.

And then Hani the Duelist spoke this stanza:

I know what is proper: I pray, with happy heart, To all the mighty spirits of battle, The ones who crafted the stars in the heavens, And all the gods of war, That a bloody eagle Will perch with blood-stained beak Above the rotting remains of Grídó’s scalp. I killed him.

Then Hani the Duelist, son of Jarl Sóló, left the house, and with him was Tsiubakka the Frisian.

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

<golf claps>

[anotherguyfromgolarion]

Sometimes things balance

Playing an Alchemist3 in a demon-heavy scenario is something of an exercise in frustration. A 2d6+5 fire attack that hits resistance 10 is not the formula for success. But I knew what I was getting into before we started. There were some skill checks that I could do pretty well on and a couple where I just got lucky. But I almost think the writer had frustrated alchemists in mind when one encounter turned out to be.....a swarm! Two bombs and I rolled out about 40hp worth of crispy critters, saving the party from several rounds of distraction, ability damage, and other nastiness.