Well, the pussification of America is finally complete. I woke up, as I often do, to the news that a mother in Texas filed a formal bullying complaint after her son's team was handily beat 91-0 in a highschool football game.
Yep. You are now bullied if you get your ass handed to you in sports.
First they took away dodge ball; then they took away "tag." The next step is all competitive sports. Because we wouldn't want poor wittle Aiden to feel any negative emotions, now would we?
We have officially entered the age of having no real problems. We wake up, go to work, come home and drink wine. Rinse. Repeat. We don't worry about food or shelter. We don't worry about rival tribes trying to rape our women. There are no kodiak bears vying for the same watering hole as us.
We know this intellectually, but our primitive brain does not. We haven't had enough time to evolve from, "Stand guard at mouth of cave. Wake'um up if buffalo run past," to "Jayden, put your sunscreen on before getting the mail."
Because of this, we're forced to worry about shit that doesn't really matter. We worry about sunscreen, lotion and conditioner. We worry about video games and movies. We worry about 3rd hand smoke and hand sanitizer.
Kids aren't allowed to fail and we all get participation trophies. Instead of, "eat your food, I don't care if you don't like broccoli" its, "oh, Caelyyynn, must be alergic, lets put him on a strict diet of free range veggies plucked from the fields of native american farmers."
When I have kids, they will learn failure. They'll play in the dirt, get sick, and cut themselves. Coaches will yell at them and they'll learn teamwork.
In doing so, they'll also learn to succeed. They'll learn that if everyone gets a trophy, that it's meaningless.
They'll also wonder why in the hell so many of the kids in their class are confined to plastic bubbles, spared from the elements, being followed by pussy parents asking them about their feelings while they offer to wipe their ass.
That'll be the time when I begin to explain how lame animals in the wild don't last long. Nature is awesome. So is dodgeball.