Fxckedupgirl

There's no such thing as hell because we're living in it. One among many who suffers with Depression&Anxiety. If you follow me you will be reading my diary. Complete truth is written whether it's happy or sad I won't hide the extreme feelings I face in everyday life. 💜RIP Grandma💜 💙RIP Felix💙 💛RIP Zoë💛

[anothersadgirl16]

How was I supposed to know...

When I lost my Grandma my heart was ripped out of my chest, I hit rock bottom and fell into depression again. My grief still destroys me now. You lose your Nan who I never even met in the two years we've been together, you never shared any memories you had. You acted completely fine when she passed away. But you expect me to know after the funeral and you acting normal that having a show off about food is because of today!? So I ask you to move and I will do it so you scream at me to FUCK OFF and slam a door in my face. Yet I'm the one apologising💔

[anothersadgirl16]

We're so different ...

I wish you wanted to hold me in your arms each night not just roll over to sleep leaving me to feel so emotionally far from someone yet being physically so near. I don't think I can be with someone who isn't affectionate anymore otherwise I will forever long for that 😔

[anothersadgirl16]

Friends or maybe not..

I hate people that pretend to be supportive friends but really they say little comments that put me down😒

[anothersadgirl16]

I'm in so much pain

One year today💔 I miss you so much Grandma 😥💔

[anothersadgirl16]

Brushed under the carpet...

Trying to forget the weekend to enjoy your birthday together in Paris but all these insecurities are just circling around my brain😒

[anothersadgirl16]

Is love measurable

I put so much more into our relationship. Consistently travelling down to you, always texting first,using my last pound to buy a little something to make you smile, ironing all your shirts for work even though I'm tired I want I help you out.

I still never feel good enough or worthy of your love. Is it because I love you so much more than you do me. Or is it because I don't love myself. So many damn insecurities.

[anothersadgirl16]

Why?

Why am I so bloody forgiving I should have made you work for my forgiveness but no I just end up crying in your arms again. I feel like you're the one who can hurt me most but also the one who makes me happiest. Is that healthy?

[anothersadgirl16]

""

"You're not my priority, I don't care if you don't want to stay over. I'm too drunk to have sex anyway"

Quote of the night from my drunk asf boyfriend. Feel broken and rejected.

[anothersadgirl16]

13 reasons why.

I was told so many different things about this series. That I would hate it as I've suffered with depression and it portrays it as selfish. Nope it's so on point! They've completely hit the nail on the head. The message is so painful but so powerful x

[anothersadgirl16]

What happened?

I used to be much better at hiding what I was feeling inside.

[anothersadgirl16]

I'm so close but so far..

I've never been physically so close to someone yet felt miles apart💔

[anothersadgirl16]

Ergh

I hate sharing a bed with anyone but him. I get irritated so easily.

[anothersadgirl16]

Every time!

Whenever we say goodbye, that evening we seem to argue or disagree. I swear I am subconsciously doing it so the distance doesn't hurt me so much💔

[anothersadgirl16]

How?

I always end up being the outsider and the one whose unwanted in a group of people😒

[anothersadgirl16]

What.

I can comment on X factor and say I don't like certain girls voices. I don't expect you to put me down and say I down like it because I don't sound that way.

[anothersadgirl16]

Realisation.

Do we ave anything in common? I'm trying to talk about my uni course and how excited I am and you just don't care none of it interests you. How can you not want to listen when I'm speaking about one of my passions.?

[anothersadgirl16]

Get out of my face.

My first ever lecture and I get asked in front of the whole class about what my grandparents do and what they mean to be etc.. I just froze I don't know my one grandad. I barely see the other. And my grandma isn't here anymore so I quickly stumbled and said she was a cook. Someone laughed I don't know who. I miss her so much. She was my inspiration and the reason I was brace through bad days. No one at university understands I usually speak to my mum about this or just go and give my little sister a cuddle 😭💔